There He Blows!

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So, you are giving oral sex to your husband and you are almost at the finish line. He is giving you the signs that he is almost at climax. What do you do? There are several options here to choose from, and we’re going to talk about each one.

Before you start oral sex, make sure that both you and your husband know how you plan to end it. You should talk to him before hand and let him know what you are and are not comfortable with. If you are newly married, don’t expect yourself to be able to jump right in swallowing from the start. You may need to ease into things and see how it goes. I applaud you for blessing your husband with the gift of oral sex at all! So talk to him and let him know what you are thinking. When he comes, you will both benefit from knowing what to do at that point.

If you are new to oral sex you may not wish to swallow your husband’s semen at first. This is perfectly fine. In fact, I think it may even be better if you don’t the first few times. Instead, watch it! Yes, I’m serious. When your husband is ready to explode, move out of the way and watch it squirt out. If he is on his back, just continue to pump him with your hand while he comes and you’ll see it land on his own body. It’s highly erotic to watch and it will get you used to seeing it. You can easily clean him up with a hand towel or washcloth.

Then think about letting him come on you. (No, it’s not a sin.  For more information check out Where the Semen Goes.)My husband loves for me to give him oral sex and then stop just at the point of orgasm. Then either he or myself will continue to pump him with our hands while he comes on my breasts or neck or even my face. If he is aiming for your breasts, again I encourage you to watch him come! This will help to get you used to seeing it and feeling it. Scoop some up with your finger and give it a little taste!

Another option is to get him to orgasm and then open your mouth and stick out your tongue. Let his come hit you on the tongue and kind of run back out. Many men find it extremely erotic to see their semen running out of the mouth of their wife. You can let it drizzle out the corner, or drip off your tongue and down your chin. It’s almost a creative way of “spitting,” because you aren’t actually swallowing any of it. You are just using it as a nice visual for your hubby. Again, a washcloth is all that’s needed for clean up.

If you absolutely cannot handle the previous paragraph, then spitting into a Kleenex or towel afterwards is also an option. If your husband comes in your mouth, you can just hold it there until he is finished, and then discreetly deposit it into a cloth. He may not even notice, and the fact that you let him finish inside your mouth at all may be more important to him than you actually swallowing.

I’ll add here that you can also give oral sex with a condom on your husband. They make some nice flavored ones now that don’t have that yucky latex taste to them. If you do it this way, you do decrease the feelings and sensations that your husband is getting, but he will be able to come into the condom when he is finished. Very quick clean up.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to swallow. Talk to your husband and find out how important it is to him. Find out which “finish” he thinks he would like the best and then go from there. Sometimes you may need to reach a happy medium by compromising. If you do want to try and learn to swallow, then I encourage you to read my next article: Drinking Him Down. I’ll give some tips and tricks that may make it easier for you. Above all, just keep oral sex fun, no matter how you and your husband decide to end things.

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32 Comments

  1. It is understandable that some wives have trouble swallowing their husband’s semen from a taste and texture standpoint. Here’s a method that virtually guarantees you will be able to swallow all of his “fruit” while providing him with an erotic experience at the same time. Get yourself a cup of your favorite yogurt or other food product that can also act as a lubricant. Just pour the whole cup out on his penis and go wild on him. When he comes in your mouth be sure you also have plenty of the yogurt in your mouth too. Your husband will have ejaculated less than a Tablespoon into your mouth. This is easily overwhelmed and disguised by another 2 or more Tablespoons of Strawberry yogurt. If yogurt doesn’t do it for you, try something stronger like chocolate ice cream. This should permit just about everyone to swallow.

  2. Why on earth would a woman want to swallow semen? That’s disgusting. My husband and I have been married for over 14 years and I have never and will never swallow his semen. Nor do I want it on my face (ugh) or neck or breasts. I’ve tasted the early wetness (pre-ejaculate?) and it’s kind of a turn off.

    I like giving my husband oral sex, but I’m one of those women who doesn’t really care to receive it. It feels okay, but not enough to bring me to orgasm. I’d be fine if I never received it again.

    Anyway, I really am curious as to why swallowing semen would be the least bit desirable. I was really surprised to read that.

  3. I really dislike the tone of your post, but I’ll respond anyway.

    If you are really seeking to understand, I have heard a lot of reasons why women like it.
    Some women love that it is one of the ways to communicate acceptance of their husband. Some women are not adverse to the taste or texture. Some women never considered not swallowing. Sometimes it is easier than cleaning up another way.

    I am not a woman who enjoys it, but I would never presume that my opinion should be fact for everyone.

  4. You don’t know what your missing! Ask your husband what the big turn on for guys is? If your pleasing him with oral sex, I bet he’d love for you to let him cum in your mouth.I really think you might enjoy it also.

  5. Hello Niki

    I have had you in my thoughts all evening and again today as I have spoken, and thought, similarly to you in my marriage of 24 years.

    I have had to re-educate myself, 100%, regarding all of the sexual training I had received either consciously or subconsciously.

    My husband and I are finally able to freely relish our sexual experiences together after many years of absolute pain and frustration.

    I wrote three extensive replies to your question but failed at each try to say anything worthwhile.

    Reading many books on other people’s perspectives about married sex has freed me up to realize that I can be a totally different person to my husband compared to what I was as early as last summer.

    I will sincerely pray for you to receive answers to your very real questions.

    smP

  6. I think swallowing is more of a physcological thing rather than a physical ability. When my DH + I were first married I really didn’t like to swallow or even get any cum in my mouth. We all the ability to swallow, you just need to overcome the fear. The longer we’re married the more in tune I have become to his wants, desires, passions and fantasies. For some reason I think oral sex ranks pretty high on any mans list of faves, and the ultimate is for his wife to swallow! I don’t always understand the why’s of things, but the fact that he considers this sooooo pleasurable is reason enough for me to do it. So, yes I am a swallower and (I might even be enjoying it) just because it turns me on to drive him wild. I deeply love my DH and would do anything for him. Since I’ve changed my view of it, I can honestly say mmmmm and mean it!!

  7. I can understand how wives may well not like, even adhore, the taste and texture of semen.

    For me, when my wife sucks and swallows my semen it is such a psychologically powerful symbol/act of total acceptance and desire for me it is beyond description.

  8. and see, that is where I am still learning. I would love to pleasure my darling in that way, but I’m just no good at it
    and I’d love to practice, but I guess I feel odd asking him….oral is something I’d love to incoorporate more into our sexual life (on both ends!) but he just seems unenthused.
    any suggestions?

  9. I think there’s probably something to saying that swallowing is more of a psychological thing, but in all cases, it’s not exactly fair or accurate.
    I say this not to condemn you or fuss at you, but to keep women who literally can’t from feeling inferior.

    Now, I may, after more trying, be able to work up to swallowing, but I tried the first time, completely open-minded, and I gagged and gagged. If my stomach had been even the slightest bit uneasy, I would have had to leave and throw up. NOT romantic, is it? :)
    I have very strong gag reflexes, plus I’m just getting past the first trimester and so pregnancy sickness is a big issue…
    Anyways, I think my husband would rather me spit it out than me throw up afterwards, and he even beforehand he told me that if he were me he prolly wouldn’t swallow (i tried it anyways, b/c I thought he’d like if I did.) He says honestly, he doesn’t care if I swallow, even though most people say that it is really important to men.

    I’ll take it slower in the future and see if I can get to where I can swallow without gagging, but if I can’t get there, I’m not going to let myself beat myself up about it, or accuse myself of having the wrong attitude, because like you, I want to please my husband, but I am not invincible, and I can’t do everything. It’s not an excuse not to try, but it’s a good excuse to not be depressed if I can’t do what I try to do :)

  10. I agree that at leaste for me it seems very physically challenging to swallow. I totally thought I would swallow without a problem and was surprised by my first attempt. The taste is fine by me so it defenitely seems to be a texture issue. I have even tried swallowing a smaller ammount and still can’t help but gag despite the fact that I am not grossed out. My DH does not mind at all that I spit and we both agree that gagging while swallowing is a much worse finalé than just spitting it out. I am glad that neither of us is hung up on a specific act and we are able to completely enjoy all that we have to offer eachother. (We are quite open with trying things though)

  11. Cumingirl, you write “Many men find it extremely erotic to see their semen running out of the mouth of their wife. You can let it drizzle out the corner, or drip off your tongue and down your chin.” That is soooo true. It happened accidently one night for us. Although she makes the effort to swallow she cant always do it. That’s fine. I love the effort.

    In the context of a loving, giving marriage this is a beautiful thing. I will not stop eating just because gluttons cannot control themselves. I won’t deny myself an alcoholic drink, unless it will hurt a weaker Christian brother or sister, just because alcoholics can’t control themselves. In the same way, I will not deny my dear wife and myself sexual pleasures simply because the world has perverted a God given desire. Satan wants to deny us sexual pleasure through GUILT and CONDEMNATION. The resulting frustration only opens the door to temptation. God intends for us to freely express our love for each other in a respectful way. Thanks for taking a stand on difficult topics and opening doors for discussion between husbands and wives.

  12. Re: Jada – I hope this isn’t tmi, b/c I like to be careful about getting too personal… But this might answer your question, so here goes.

    I’m no expert, but I know what you mean. I was the same way about this topic, I wanted to do it orally but I didn’t really know how to ask my husband. (and we’d talked about it briefly once – he said it didn’t necessarily appeal to him but that he didn’t think it was wrong.)
    Well, one time I did ask him to do it for me (by asking kiss me there… then more, then more….) and then I didn’t exactly ask him if he wanted me to do it for him, just starting kissing around and asking, do you like being kissed here, here, here, and within a few days, I was doing a lot of oral… Then when I knew he *really* enjoyed it, I said would you like to finish this way.

    That’s just how i did it, b/c he’s not so much for thinking up new things to try – I’m the one who does that more often :)

    Even outside of our sexual relationship, we’re like this. I like to cook, so sometimes I’ll create a new dish that I’m almost certain he’ll like, but it might sound weird to him (think crepes with squash filling and a spinach cheese sauce, or bean burgers). And I just present it.
    And if he actually doesn’t like it, I try not to have my feelings hurt, and if he does like it like I think we will, we have a new favorite :)

    I simply tend to be the more adventurous of us, so when I can do it respectfully, I often simply introduce new things and see how he likes them, b/c usually he doesn’t know how he’ll react to something until we actually try it.

    But if this sort of thing bothers your husband (if he feels like it undermines his authority in some way) I don’t recommend doing it.

    My husband appreciates when I have us try new things, b/c he’s confident that I do that sort of thing out of love for him (most of the time… But if I’d spoken harshly recently, he might think I was making him try new things because I was inwardly accusing him of not being adventurous enough, and if I were having a bad attitude, he’d probably be correct). If he weren’t certain of my motives – even if my motives were unselfish and kind, but he doubted that – then I probably wouldn’t try it, for fear it would cause harm rather than good.

    I hope I’m not overcomplicating things :)

    Also, if he thought it was wrong, I would have talked through it before trying it with him…

    I’m not really an expert on relationships or anything. This is simply the opinion of one young newlywed who loves and respects her husband very much, and tries to appreciate the many ways in which he’s different from her :)

  13. Woo, this is my first comment after reading for a while now! Loving the blog, by the way. So my issue is that my husband is pretty modest and I’m having a hard time discerning whether he dislikes or is just reluctant to admit that he does like more “kinky” activities. He has always welcomed and quite obviously enjoyed oral sex from me, and I have only ever swallowed. I think the idea of having him come on me to finish oral sex sounds exciting, but I have a feeling if we talked about it beforehand it would make him nervous. Do you think a “surprise” ending is ever advisable (I know you said we should discuss it beforehand)? I certainly don’t want to do something that makes him uncomfortable, but I have a feeling he’d enjoy it in the heat of the moment, even though he’d have a hard time admitting it if we discussed it. Thoughts?

  14. You could try it. Unless the person has voiced some concern, it seems reasonable to give it a try in the heat of the moment, as you say.

  15. two words … tic tacs

    (btw, married 15 years)

  16. “Do you think a “surprise” ending is ever advisable (I know you said we should discuss it beforehand)?” not a full surprise no. in the heat of the moment you could ask him to do it, then it is not a full surprise.

    you might also talk to him about several things, most of which you think he would be ok with. honey, i would like to try a, b, c, d … and you really ony care about item c.

    like … honey, would you mind if we spice things up? how? oh, i don’t know, maybe buy some lingerie from agent provocateur, we could get flavored oil, you could finish on me , we could take a shower together … what do you think honey?

  17. I don’t think surprises are completely taboo. After all we should know our spouse well enough to know what he’ll think. I agree Lisab ask in the heat of the moment then it’s not a complete surprise!

  18. Hi, I find this article so very intresting on oral sex! I am happy I found a site where other christian women can openly discuss these issues, that are never talked about elsewhere! I don’t feel alone anymore! So, I have been married for 3 years, and I really like giving my husband oral sex, but I tend to choke alot cause he likes to go deep! And then when he is there, the smell makes me almost throw up! I wanna swallow, and confidentially make him get there but the smell makes me sick. I wanna be better but I can’t seem to get oever the gauging thing lol! Any ideas for smells? Or for choking? lol. thanks!

  19. When you decide to bless your husband with oral sex, YOU should be the one in charge. He shouldn’t be making you choke by thrusting deeply into your mouth. Don’t be afraid to tell him to stop and let you do it yourself.

    As far as smell goes, are you talking about the smell of his semen? Having him shower beforehand will help cut down on any ‘musky’ smell of his genitals in general. If the smell of his ejaculation is what you don’t like, then you could always chew a couple of Altoids before you start. That will fill your head with a minty smell. Or take something that you really LIKE to smell, like a fruity flavored chap stick, and apply it to your nose and just under it, so that you will be smelling that while you are giving him oral sex. :smile:

  20. Sometimes my husband does thrust a little when I do oral on him (just as a reaction, I think) and also I know he likes to feel me pressing against him hard… And that’s okay at first, but after his erection gets really firm I can’t handle it – same problem you have I think. So when he starts thrusting, I just use my hand on the lower part of his penis so that there’s only a little bit in my mouth. He gets to feel tightly surrounded and can thrust all he wants, and I don’t gag :D

    Also, if your man doesn’t shower beforehand (my guy does often, but he doesn’t always think to and sometimes guys are smelly :D ), you could always bring a slightly soapy washcloth to bed and wipe him down. Done that a few times telling him I wanted to freshen him up a bit so I could suck on him and after that explanation, how could he be offended? LOL.
    You might even be able to use the same explanation to ask him to shower :) Guess I could plain old say ‘could you go shower please darling?’ but that just feels weird. Never done it.

    Anyways, these are just some of the things I’ve learned that help me, hope it might help you!
    Have fun :P

  21. I don’t swallow, or every spit. I also don’t allow facials or anything else. He has to finish in a towel or something. I personally find semen digusting and do not want it in or around my body. The only time I alllow him to go inside me is when were trying for kids. He does want me to be more kinky, but I really could go without any form of sexual activity and be perfectly happy, but I do things to please him. But if swallowing is your thing, I say go for it.

  22. Do you know where your disgust of semen comes from? Has sex ever been enjoyable to you? The reason I ask is because it sounds like sex is probably not something that is bringing you and your husband into deeper unity like it is intended to. I can relate to the feelings of apathy that you expressed and in my case I can see how unhealthy it is for my marriage, but I can’t tell from your post whether or not you see that too. Our husbands gets only one legitimate source of sexual release. Us. So when I find myself becoming apathetic about sex, I know that I need to make more of an effort in this area. Prayer. “Thinking sex.” Intentional foreplay. These are some of the things that help me to become a passionate lover, the one and only lover my husband will ever have.
    Just some things to think about… And, btw, swallowing isn’t really something I enjoy either so I am not disregarding your preference there, just wondering more about your overall perception of married sexuality.

  23. We are in our early 60′s and my husband loves oral sex and I love pleasing him. A quick shower together with sexual touching sets the scene. He gets especially excited if I stimulate myself or let him do it as I give him oral sex. I love the taste of his semen but do admit that I was queasy at first. For those of you women who are just beginning to explore with your husbands or just married I encourage you to be open to the wonderful pleasures that God has created for us within marriage.

  24. I love it! I enjoy pleasuring my DH in ANYWAY possible. I research sites and talk to people to learn new things. I feel it is my calling to be all I can be for my husband. If he were to choose to be unfaithful, it is HIS choice. I would deal with it and move on. I don’t need him anyway if he can’t be faithful. I love the lady who said they are in their 60′s and still having fun. I hope I am that fortunate my husband will still be healthy and still want to be adventurous. I really love sex, intimacy, sharing, giving, taking and all God has intended for us to enjoy with our chosen ones.

  25. Hey Kittie Cat–

    I so agree with most of what you said, but as a fellow believer on the journey, I dd want to caution you about the attitude that comes across with your statement: “I don’t need him anyway if he can’t be faithful.” Fidelity and marriage are about more than just me needing him, or him needing me. I am sure that you know that, but the attitude that comes across is kind of flippant.

    I am not even sure that I should post this, but I think I will. Marriage, fidelity, infidelity, repentance, forgiveness, divorce, marriage-as-a-picture-of-our-relationship-with-Christ… are just so big and so important, and serious.

  26. Good call, Tiger Girl! You are right and I shouldn’t sound so flippant. Marriage is so precious and we need to treat it as such.

  27. Swallowing makes me feel like a confident sex-pot. I didn’t do it for the first 20 years of our marriage now it is a regular thing. I too study, research and work to perfect my technique.

    I surprised him the first time I finished him in my mouth just after our 20th anniv. He said he was laying there thinking “She normally stops by now. What’s up with that? She doesn’t do THAT!” and then I did.

    I didn’t just decide to do it over night. It started with testicle play about 5 months earlier when we went out of town for my birthday. I went back and forth between his balls and his penis and he liked it so much that it became a regular part of our love-making. One day he told me that he got really close to finishing when I did that so on that day I decided that I would take it all the way a couple of weeks later I did. He felt like THE MAN and I felt like so happy knowing it made him so happy.

    So for 20 years I was a “just the tip and only for a couple of minutes” kind of girl so I know where all of you are coming from. I totally get why you don’t really want him to finish in your mouth/swallow but if you feel like giving it a go I urge you to not think “I’ll never…”

    My husband and I have never been more intimate and for us it really can be traced back to me getting past my aversion and focusing on “why not?”

  28. I am right there with you girl I never myself liked to swallow either but since my awakening so to speak I have done it several times and he absolutely loves it! I totally do it for him and I really dont mind because it is such a huge turn on for him!!!!

  29. I’ve swallowed from day one. Just kinda happened. I can’t say I LOVE SWALLOWING and can’t wait to swallow my DH. I will say I enjoy his reaction when I do swallow. Plus, there is less clean-up which means doing this in public is available. Whereas if you don’t swallow, it’s the bedroom and the bedroom only.

  30. To the lady whose hubby has an unpleasant smell: try putting celery in his food and get him to drink green tea to deodorize his semen and give it a mild taste.

  31. This is my first time time coming across ur blog and I so love it. I have been researching OS for a while. My hubby and I don’t practice this. I think I did it one or twice early in our marriage and kind of stopped as I was unsure if he didn’t like it or I was inexperience. I would like to surprise my hubby; I am not much a talker especially when it comes to sex, kind of shy and naive, so I think I would just go ahead and do it, God help me!. Any advice please.

  32. There are several posts on this topic, but try this one:
    http://christiannymphos.org/2007/12/21/tasting-his-fruit/


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