Q: Why do you believe that anal sex isn’t a sin?

I got a comment on my recent blog entry about “Can our sex life send us to hell?” and I wanted to address the answer to this in a blog. A young newlywed asked me why we didn’t believe that anal sex is a sinful behavior.

A: The Bible is silent on anal sex. Of course it tells us that homosexuality is a sin and that bestiality is a sin, but it really says nothing about this type of sexual experience between a man and his wife. Since the Bible doesn’t give us a “Thou shalt not participate in anal sex with your spouse” commandment, we take it as to mean that God wants us to use our own judgment on it. In some marriages, there will be a spouse that wants to dapple in it, or try it out. There also may be a spouse that thinks that anal sex should never happen. The biggest thing to remember is that you and your spouse need to be unified in your decisions as a married couple…Personally, I feel that as long as this remains between you, your spouse and God, that your marriage bed will remain undefiled in the eyes of God.

Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” I believe that anal sex between you and your spouse falls within the bounds of this verse.

There are two different articles on our blog that I want to refer you to. One was written by my sister in Christ, Cumingirl who wrote Anal Sex: What Does the Bible Say and also another perspective from my sister in Christ, Cinnamonsticks, who wrote Anal Sex: Weighing Your Options. I think the main thing I would recommend to you is to discuss it with your husband. Find out why he feels the way he does, and you present why you feel the way you do. If there is still a disagreement on it, I would table the discussion and the thought of anal sex for a period of time. Pray about it, both of you, and see where God leads you on this. If you should both choose to try anal sex together, I feel that you may do so without worry about sin. God would have told us it was a sin in the Bible if he didn’t want a married heterosexual couple to engage in this act. If you both feel that God has given you the approval to do so, and you are both comfortable with anal sex, then go for it!

Thanks for your question!

Related Article:   What About Sodomy?

23 Comments

  1. It is not uncommon for a man to enjoy having his prostate stimulated. Most men are just afraid to admit they would like that as to look gay. Oral sex on a woman is not thought of to be gay even though that is what a woman would do to another woman. You are not seeking other male attention to stimulate you, that would definitely be against God’s approval. If a husband & wife agree and enjoy together which is what God wants us to do, then you will enjoy without going against what God has said. My husband loves it and I enjoy making him happy just like he does for me.

  2. i was a catholic school girl. catholics have a very bad reputation when it come to thinking “this is a sin”, and “that is a sin” blah blah blah. actually, we catholics do not think many every day type things, like sex, are sins. oh sure, adultery would be, or something against the ten commandments … but driving your car to work … not so much.

    i would say that as long as you are both comfortable with XYZ, XYZ is probably not a sin within marriage — again assuming it is not specifically prohibited.

    however, i am new to this site having just discovered it … and i consider myself to be fairly liberated for a former catholic schoolgirl …

    and i even do not place much good/evil on this activity … catholics do not generally think about most things as good or evil 99.99% of the time. but … honestly this topic blows me away.

    all i can think is this would be horribly painful and why would you want to do thiis? do men really like this? ok, i’m done :)

  3. My husband and I enjoyed anal sex while I was pregnant. I was scared that vaginal sex could harm our baby(LOL!!) so we gave it a try. Oh yes, I wondered was it wrong, but I also wanted to keep my husband happy. After the uncomfortable feeling goes away, it is a very enjoyable experience. I say this desicion is up to yall. Pray about it, see what answer you get.
    Have a great day!

  4. The first time my husband and I tried anal sex it was a little uncomfortable and we ended up using TOO much lube – yes there is such a thing. We decided not to give up and wanted to try again. Once we figured out the right amount of lube it was a wonderful experience. We both felt sensations we had never experienced and after 20years of marriage that says alot. I think it will always be a little uncomfortable to start but once pleasure takes the place of pain you better watch out. I even had an orgasm through anal sex with no clitoral stimulation, believe it or not. God has revealed things about one another and has brought us into a unity that we have never experienced before. It has also strengthened our union outside of the bedroom. God is good – All the time!!

  5. i just wanted to say this from a female prespective because i think that is where you are coming from… obviously… but it can still be a very intimate thing between you and your husband something that requires him to be gentle and patient and you are very much in control of communitcating what you need him to do, if you say stop he stops because it is something that needs to slowly be introduced. I understand the hesitation on the female side because i had the feelings of it being gross and painful, but there are things you do to help it and there are ways that can get a female orgasm while recieving the anal intercourse. it takes time and when you are done trying for a time then your husband should be patient and wait until you are comfortable again to try but not badger you into something. my husband enjoys it because it is with me and i enjoy it because it is with him, it does not define who i am or our relationship. We have a loving relationship and the intamacy is there that contiues to grow in and outside the bedroom. just feel comfortable to communicate, its not dirty or wrong and so often we are taught from a very young age that anything sexual is dirty….

  6. Me and my husband do have anal sex,have for several years and actually we did last night. He told me today he felt really bad about it, and he don’t want to do it anymore. He said he felt you can make love different ways other than that, and also he felt he disrespected me. I didn’t sense none of that from him. I myself enjoy anal sex, and I have researched the bible and looked at verses, but there is nothing saying it is sinful for a husband and wife. Should I just say ok to him and stop anal sex, show him there is nothing in the bible saying its sinful for husband and wife, or let it be since it is a personal conviction? What about my sexual desires??????

  7. Two things. 1) This my opinion about any sex act that is permissible: If both the husband and the wife are not in agreement about doing it, I don’t believe the act should be done. I believe it is dishonoring to push one’s spouse to do a certain act that they are not comfortable with. There are lots of ways that a couple can have sexual pleasure so if one particular act is uncomfortable for one person, just enjoy the others. 2) I think a couple needs to learn how to discuss sexual preferences openly even when they are not in agreement. There is no harm in respectfully explaining to your husband why you enjoy and have freedom in participating in anal sex, but he needs to know that the mutual enjoyment of your marriage bed is your top priority. Learn to communicate honestly and clearly. In this case, seek to understand what he finds to be disrespectful about it.

  8. I beleive it’s a sin largely because of my personal relationship with God which existed long before my relationship with my husband even started. I was taught and very much still beleive that we are stewards of our bodies and this magnificent world we live in and are commanded to be good stewards of all of our resources. Anything that could potentially cause harm to the temple, our most valueable resource, shouldn’t be practiced. Whether it be over eating, not getting enough excercise, over indulging in alcohol, drug usage, etc is detrimental to the body and I do consider sinful.
    Now being in the medical profession for over 20 yrs, I know for a fact that anal sex can cause problems and issues for some and is contraindicated for those who suffer from various diseases of the gut and immune systems. With the increase in IBS in the under 25 set in the last 10-15 years it does make me wonder if exposure early in life to anal sex may be the culprit.
    Anal sex will never be practiced in my marriage bed and I personlly find it hurtfull and insulting to be asked to do so. To me it means he doesn’t love me nor care for me or my temple. We’ve both discussed and argued about it to the point that if he asks again he knows we are heading for divorce court. I won’t continue a relationship with someeone who has so little respect for me, my temple or beliefs and I’m not going to defend them again. There’s plenty of butt out there, all he has to is ask and he’ll be free to pursue his butt!!!

  9. Actually, the Bible does talk about anal sex in Romans chapter 1, verse 26. The chapter talks in verse 24 how “God gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their bodies between themselves.” Then, verse 26 and 27 says “For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly…” Obviously, the natural use speaks of vaginal intercourse while “that which is against nature” speaks of anal intercourse. It’s why verse 27 says “Likewise”, because the men also left the natural way, vaginal intercourse, and took up anal intercourse among themselves.

  10. I forgot to mention that “against nature” speaks of anything that is against the natural use of something. An anus is for waste going out. Not only is anal intercourse unnatural, but it is not clean either. The Bible steered people away from unclean animals(like lobster and shrimp that eat fish waste on the bottom of the ocean) and so it would only make sense that it would steer people away from anything that could cause human waste to be transmitted one to another. The same thing goes with a woman’s time of the month, considered to be unclean. God doesn’t advocate spreading anything that causes sickness or uncleanness. If he wanted the anus to be used for pleasure, he would have made it comfortable for women to do so, not uncomfortable. He also would have made it naturally pleasurable. Women would get naturally turned on by going to the bathroom if that were true. But, women aren’t turned on, unless they have chosen to run after their own lusts, in which case God gives you over to those lusts and your whole concept of making love becomes perverted from then on. Also, a vagina naturally stretches and then retracts. An anus does not. Professional porn stars wear diapers in their old age due to the damage that happens to their anus over time. If God meant for people to use the anus for sex, he would have made it retract the same way as a vagina.

  11. I want to go back on your comment here and clarify something…those verses which talk about women did change from natural to unnatural…that doesn’t have anything to do with anal sex. It has to do with women becoming lesbian. Likewise “men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned with their lust one toward another” is referring to homosexuality. God loves the covenant of marriage. These people that Paul is referring to in these verses were defiling their marriage bed or choosing not to marry, but to commit sin with one another in homosexuality. In no way is Paul saying that anal sex is “not natural”. It is homosexuality that these people were participating in that is unnatural… God intends for one man and one woman to unite upon marriage, not man with man or woman with woman.

  12. While you are definitely entitled to have these opinions, I personally feel that you are adding things into this that are not necessarily true. The verses you quoted are based on people’s choices to sin even though they knew that they went against God’s laws. In a loving marriage, any couple who mutually choose to participate in anal sex are not committing any sins. If this isn’t your cup of tea, you are well within your right not to practice it, but telling others that this is a sin and that they are driven by lust is incorrect. And if I am wrong in this, God will set me straight at one point in time or another.

    All people make choices. We are all individually accountable only to God, so if any of the readers here have broached God on this subject and do not feel that God is telling them it is a sin, then it is between them and God. Personally, I do not practice this, but I am not going to tell others not to do it or that they are sinning just because I don’t want to participate in anal sex.

  13. I disagree that the “natural use” in Romans 1 is anal sex. The logic just doesn’t work. The natural use of the tongue is for speaking and eating, so using the natural use argument, oral sex would be sinful as well. (Or maybe you believe that, too?)

    I personally am not at all interested in anal sex, but the natural use and Romans 1 argument doesn’t convince me it’s a sin.

  14. I ran into this site just being curious about what other people think about anal intercourse. I have been married now for 13 years and my hsband and I have anal once in awhile. I believe that the bible says that sex between two people of the same sex is a sin. So anal would be a sin in that case. I have never actually seen a scripture in the bible that relates to a married man and women. As far as the comments of it being unclean my opinion is vaginal intercourse can be just as dirty. For that matter one should never have any type of intercourse due to it being unclean. Think about it either way vaginal or anal a mans bodily functions are inside you at the end (sorry not trying to crude). Unless you as a married man and women are using condems. The bible states that a married man and women should b fruitful and multiply. That marriage was instituted by God as a stable enviorment in which to produce and raise children. The bible states children are a gift from god. These statements in the bible in my opinion say that birth control is a sin. Where I am going with this is no matter what happens in a marriage between a man and women sexually as long as they are making each other happy is as I believe not sinful in Gods eyes. I also want to add that any form of sexual acts whether it be vaginal or anal or oral can potentially cause harm. I believe that God gave us free will and hoped we would make the right choices in life with a little help from a book called the bible. believe people are always saying God sees all and knows all. If that is true then he for saw that future and knew we would evolve sexually and chose to make us a little diffrently so we would not be able to d something he did not approve of. I also believe he would have added to his scriptures that no human being shall have sexual intercourse other than missionary and in the vagina. As we all know some people in their marriage (man and women) experiment and do things that are dirty and dangerous that never made it into Gods scriptures. If he would have seen the future and relized that a man and a women may enjoy anal intercourse then I believe he would have mentioned it and also Oral. Instead of only mentioning that a man and a man are not meant to be together becaujse thats not the way he created us in his image. As a man and women with similarties but not exactly the same.

    This is just my opinion and mine alone. I am truely sorry if I offended anyone. This was only meant to explain my opinion what I feel that God was trying to tell us. Also, there are words in the biblle like whore that I feel is not that nice of a word so I feel God could have used the word Anal when talking about a married man and women.

    Thank you for listening to my opinion and God Bless.

  15. Tnobel,
    I do respect your opinion but time and again I see on here that as long as a man and a woman are in a married relationship, are happy together sexually anything goes and nothing is sinful. To me this is such dangerous thinking. What if both partners enjoy beatings to the point of bruises? What if both partners enjoyed whipping one or both of them to the point of blood and severe scarring? Yes, there are people who enjoy these things. Should we consider the behaviour OK? I would hope not. I would hope that we would consider it wrong, something that would not please God and that the people should receive help.

    Anal sex can be very damaging physically. I know there are a lot of women on here enjoying it and saying it does not cause physical problems. I also know that many from the medical industry warn against anal sex, I know that there are women that are wearing bags because of past anal sessions.

    II have posted on this before and know that I am probably repeating myself. I just hope women will really read up on anal sex, not listen to the pro-gay hype out there that anal sex is not harmful and make a wise decision. I also hope that the men out there will put their wife and her health before any of their own pleasure.

  16. actually if you look up these verses in the modern, more accurate versions of the bible such as the niv and the new american standard, it actually says ‘women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other’.

    i also think the argument that it is ‘sin because it is uncomfortable’ doesn’t really cut it for me either. if that were true then wearing tampons would be a sin for me, because i’ve always found it uncomfortable. the vagina is made for sex, but i definitely don’t get turned on by wearing a tampon!

    it sounds like you feel stongly about this issue and so you need to fallow your convictions, but this is one of those areas where i believe we each need to hear from God individually. if God has told my husband and i that this is ok, then it doesn’t really matter if you approve or not.

  17. Not to get off on a tangent, hisbabe, but if you really study out the Bible version issue, you will find that the new modern versions are definitely not more accurate. Several of them are actually terrible renderings of what the original language means. There is only one correct line of texts. I’d encourage you to look into this if you are interested.
    I completely agree with your arguments though!

  18. Actually word for word and idea for idea the NASB is the most accurate of the odern translations. Though I do prefer NIV myself…

  19. Wynterr, I agree with you that men should always put their wife’s feelings above their own pleasure, and I think the ladies on the site have been pretty clear on that too. If both partners are not willing participants, no matter what the act, it should be avoided! If a husband is coercing his wife into anal sex against her will, then there is a deeper issue.
    Also, it shouldn’t be assumed that anal sex is always the husband’s idea, or comes from ideas adopted by the “pro-gay agenda.” I am the one who suggested anal play/sex to my husband in the first place, and I am almost always the one who initiates it. I enjoy it. Many women don’t. Many women also do not enjoy missionary position, or giving their husbands hand jobs. And that’s ok! :)
    If we are Christians, then we all have the same Holy Spirit to help us decide what is acceptable and beneficial to our own marriage beds. It should not be something to take personally when couples make different choices than we do if it is not specifically pointed out in the Word as a sin. :)

  20. I read the article on what about sodomy. I have to laugh at the article, the ability of modern intelligent human beings to not think logically amazes me. The pastor gave us yet another example of how over time information is so easily distorted whether it be from cultural differences, inadequate translations, era or age differences, even word usage or definition or words. For example, who came up with the English word sodomy? Is there a Hebrew word for it? In the scriptures referenced what exactly does it say in Hebrew. I know the answers and recommend others research it for themselves. I grew up hearing that the “King James” version of the bible was the “only” true word of God. I know people to this day that believe anything else is false and yet they haven’t figured out how the writers of the Old Testament knew King James -lol. The word sodomy even has different definitions among the legislative bodies in the states of our union.

    The chapter in Eccl. is another of doing one’s own research. Everyone needs to do this own their own, pray, meditate and find out what they believe in for themselves. Please do not take our word for it figure out what God is telling your heart for your marriage.

    As for our marriage, I am the one who introduced anal play into it. I found out how nice it was accidentally during intercourse, in the heat of the moment next thing I knew I was begging for it. Afterwards I researched it as did the pastor in the sodomy article coming to the same simple conclusion. Anal sex is not something we do to replace intercourse, but in addition to it. Why? Because our bodies are incredible, they are fun to touch, look at, kiss, play with, and we enjoy every square inch. It is funny too, I never knew my husband had such a fascination with my backside until that fateful day. :) I am multiorgasmic and absolutely love vp, anal play and sex just adds something extra to the mix. There are times when vp isn’t available so anal gives us great options. And I do not limit it just to myself. I also attack my husband this way. He had never had multis until anal was introduced. So it has broadened both of our horizons.

    Speaking of the last few sentences there was a lady who was talking about her husband bugging her about anal. I suggest do a lot of research on it for you and for him, If you are willing to take it slow and experiment with yourself learning about your body you might eventually find it is quite pleasurable, in the very least you will have learned some extremely important things about that area of your body that I am certain you never knew before. After researching I found so many people do not have a clue about that region of their body and how much it affects the rest of you. I have improved that area 1000 fold from what I have learned through proper anal health. I tell you I’d much rather be the one poking around down there than some strange person with a headlight on their forehead – lol.

    Next do research with him and if you are still adverse to doing it on yourself try him out for size. I learned pretty early in marriage that often my husband will try things to show me that if he can do I can do it. We also trade out desires for fun – use coupons as well (you know offer something extra during our noon break).

    Anal play & sex for us is yet another way we can please one another sometimes doubling or tripling the results because of the extra sensory input from that region of the body. Yes we properly prepare, yes we are very clean, and very careful.

  21. No thanks happycouples. I’m neither curious nor willing to explore anal activities on myself alone or with my mate. I’m well educated on anal health as well as many other body systems and I have no desire whatsoever. I’m pretty convinced that my Father God has led to to make the right choices for me, my life and then my marriage. God is always 1st, my relationship with God is 1st and not even my husband can make me stray from my convictions. If my body ( vagina ) is not exciting enough, tight enough, taboo enough then that’s just too bad because my body ( vagina ) has served me well for nearly 50 yrs and I enjoy that part of my body immensely. I submit, more like share, my vagina and sometimes my mouth and hands for mutual pleasure and enjoyment but my anus will never be offered, nor submitted for violation and abuse.

    The question was why do you believe anal sex is a sin, I answered the question as is relates to me and my relationship with God. I didn’t try to change anyones mind, I didn’t attempt to tell others they are sinning because their personal relationship with God may be different than my own. People, me especially get extremely ill when others try to tell us what to do especially when it’s contradicted by my established relationship with God.

  22. By your own admission, you and your husband are one suggestion away from divorce. I’m going to step out on a limb here and suggest that you have bigger things to worry about than whether the kind-hearted couples of Christian Nymphos think it is okay to include anal sex in their God centered marriage. I hope and pray you and your husband fall as deeply in love again as when your first met.

  23. I don’t think anyone has the intention of telling you what to do, Renee. But in the end, we as Christians have the Holy Spirit to guide us all and we do not have to let little issues like this divide us. There are things and doctrines that need to divide us, but this isn’t one


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