I want to let you in on a little secret… I have trouble achieving orgasm through intercourse. And I know that I’m not alone. I also know that it has nothing to do with my husband because he’s always been a very attentive and passionate lover. Through out the years, he has always made sure that I reach orgasm either through oral sex or manual stimulation, but there is always something so special, to the both of us, when I can orgasm while having sex.
We’ve been at this for over ten years and the story has always been the same. Every once in a while, the planets align (or something like that!) and I will have an orgasm during sex. A few months back, I had an epiphany of sorts… maybe I could teach myself to orgasm through intercourse! A couple of years ago, we introduced sex toys into a regular part of our foreplay. I was amazed at how quickly I learned to orgasm from those, so that made my wheels begin to turn. Instead of just using them during foreplay, now we often incorporate a vibe during sex. My thinking is that maybe I can train my body into recognizing what it feels like to orgasm with my husband inside of me.
I am blessed because my husband is not intimidated by the incorporation of something extra into our repertoire. It provides a great visual for him and great stimulus for me… but is my experiment working? Am I able to orgasm during sex without the use of a vibe? I wish that I could say that the results have been immediate and outstanding, but I know that anything worth achieving demands a lot of practice and I’m willing to put in that work. However, I do believe that since I have started this journey that my ability to orgasm during sex without the use of anything extra has increased by a little. It’s a jumping off point that I’m willing to accept. And I’m so thankful that I can thoroughly enjoy lovemaking even though I don’t orgasm from it on a regular basis.
If you are one of those ladies who also have orgasm difficulties, please be of good cheer even during the frustrating times. You may want to experiment to find something that works for you, and then continue building from there. For me, it was making a conscious decision that this was something that I’d be willing to work through. It was also finding a position that worked (which for me is WOT, Cowgirl style) and taking some other good orgasm advice… like making sure I’m relaxed and enjoying the moment and when the moment seems to be on it’s way to tighten up my kegel muscle. But, I think the best thing that I do is enjoy my husband no matter what the outcome may be.
Just because I can’t always orgasm through intercourse doesn’t mean that I’m deficient in the lovemaking department! It just means that I’m a work in progress! I’m hoping that in the months to come that I have some more good news to report.
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