Can I Learn To Ejaculate?

It has been said that women can indeed learn to ejaculate. I’m not exactly sure if I believe this is true of all women, but I see no harm in trying to learn how if you want to. (This is a continuation of my article on the basics of female ejaculation.) Here are the things to keep in mind if you are trying to learn to ejaculate.

Practice your Kegel exercises. You will need to have good control of your pelvic muscles to learn how to let go and relax them when it’s time to.

Make sure that you empty your bladder. You will probably experience the feeling of needing to go urinate as the fluid, and arousal, is building up. If you go to the bathroom beforehand then it will be easier for you to let go without fear of it being urine.

Spend some time becoming aroused. If you are trying this alone, then use your fingers or toys to give yourself plenty of clitoral and G-spot stimulation. You will also need a mirror. You may want to try a special G-spot vibrator. Do not make it a rush job. If your husband is helping you, then have him give you oral sex, and finger your G-spot at the same time. The more stimulation you get and the more aroused you become means more fluid is building up.

When you feel like it is building up and you are going to pee, relax your pelvic muscles and let go! Some women even say they take it a step further and actually push out as if they are urinating. This is where ejaculation will take place. Don’t expect a huge gush of fluid to go shooting across the room though. Most times it’s only a few drops to a teaspoon amount, and it doesn’t necessarily always make a dramatic squirt. You or your husband may only notice fluid suddenly seeping out and running down your thigh.

It is possible for FE to occur without orgasm. Many women have reported that they indeed will ejaculate before orgasm happens. It may be that their paraurethral glands are so full that they need to release the fluids before the contractions of the vaginal muscles begin.

Tasting your ejaculate will not harm you or your husband. A woman’s ejaculate is made up of several nutrients and proteins, many of which are also found in men’s ejaculate. Things such as glucose, potassium, sodium, and chloride are found, as well as a specific enzyme and protein that are made in the prostate itself. None of these things are harmful if swallowed, so you and your husband should go ahead and taste it if you’d like.

Some women just have issues getting past the feeling of “I’m going to pee!” If this is you then maybe you could try this in the shower first. Another idea would be to throw an extra blanket or a couple of towels on top of your bed, just in case. Then just tell yourself that even if you were to urinate a little, it’s okay! Towels and blankets can be washed!

This is something that may take a deal of practice. You may want to try this during different times in your cycle too, as your body may respond differently. Don’t get discouraged if you aren’t able to learn how to do this. Some women are still trying to learn how to orgasm. It may happen unexpectedly when you are least expecting it.   And I am still not totally convinced that all women are able to do this anyway.  One cool thing is that at least you will have fun practicing!

34 Comments

  1. Any more about this subject? I started having these about 15 years ago, and at the time wasn’t sure what they were. They seem to be very intense.t seems like the more orgasm’s I have in a lm session the more I start to ejaculate. They were very common with rear entry positions, but lately it has been in almost any position and with direct clitoral stimulation. While I do enjoy it, not to mention it drives DH absolutley wild is there any way to hold them back or even stop them on occasion? I ask this because I read your article on public sex the other day and thought this might be fun, however this issue makes for a messy encounter which isn’t so bad at home, but wouldn’t be very sexy out somewhere.Also I’m just wondering about the movie sex… Did you mean all out sex (intercourse) or were talking about oral? Very eager to try this!

  2. I don’t think any of us have done full on PIV sex at the movies, but getting a hand job has been nice :D

    I can see how any public sex would be a problem for you if you have FE that you can’t control.

  3. Funny thing my DH just called from working asking if I wanted to go see a movie tonight (no kids). I hadn’t even told him what I had read here. We’ll see what happens!

  4. LOL! Have a good time!

  5. i am new to this site but i have really enjoyed seeing other women have the same issues that i have. my question is i would reallly love to have a orgasm where i ejaculate is there any other tips out there other than the ones we have been posted? like do i need to squeeze my privates right before i am almost about to orgasm? any other tid-bits would be greatly appreciative from some of you that have actually been able to do this. thansk again for your support

  6. Sharon,
    I have found for myself, you really need to relax during lovemaking. It seemed the more I relaxed the more orgasms I would have, and after a few I would start to ejaculate. This started for me about 15 years ago. At the time I wasn’t sure what was happening, but knew I wasn’t peeing. It can’t be stopped like urine flow.
    I think at first they are easier to reach with finger stimulation of the clit. When you reach orgasm don’t stop have you DH keep going so that your orgasms are one right after the other.usually at this point if I tighten my PC muscle they will happen. G-spot stimulation in the same way almost always leads to ejaculaion. Sorry if this is (TMI) but it’s hard to explain.
    Just like learning to orgasm I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on making it happen.
    If it does happen you’ll learn how to bring them on more frequently with practice, and even during intercourse.
    My husband really enjoys watching me “squirt” but if it had never happened by chance I don’t think he would miss it.
    Have fun trying-hopefully this helped a little.

  7. I used to be worried that I was about to pee – which would have like, mortified me to wet the bed during lovemaking, lol. When my orgasms got more regular and stronger, i started experiencing FE that I could actually feel, and fortunatelty I’d heard about it here so I knew that I wasn’t peeing (besides the smell is totally different…)

    at first I couldn’t do it (except in tiny gushes) during intercourse, only during manual stimulation, if that’s not TMI. I think mostly I just wasn’t comfortable enough with it to let myself do it during intercourse (not sure why), and I didn’t really know how to control it, either. I think it’s something that you can get better at and more comfortable with, after practice…
    Of course, orgasm is often perfectly fulfilling without it, but I find that mine are stronger and i’m more satisfied with just one O if I do E also..
    May I admit that it still sounds weird to me, to talk about FE, b/c I always thought it was just ‘a guy thing’…

  8. I think your right about being more satisfied when having both O and E together.
    I started having these about 15 years ago but I was a lttle confused by them and just let it happen. It wasn’t until about 6 months ago that I deciided to try to control them better. I have to say it can be done! My drive for this were the articles on sex in public places :) I think I could do this now I just have to find the place and get alone with DH!

  9. I also found out about this by accident. My husband and I had to abstain from intercourse for a while because it was very painful for me. But we still made love! Typically he would lay on his side next to me while I was on my back. He’d play with my clitoris and I’d hold on to his penis. As I got more excited, I’d end up stimulating him more, and eventually we got really good at manually bringing each other to orgasm. Once I got very comfortable with this, I just started squirting. I agree with those who recommend not trying to ejaculate – focus instead on mutual manual pleasure, and be really relaxed. If it’s going to happen, it will. And if it doesn’t, no harm. The orgasms where I squirt are no better or worse than the ones where I don’t. Just messier.

    Hey intendedforpleasure – any tips to share about how to control the ejaculate? My hubby is so good to me and I end up making a big mess almost every time I orgasm. We have trouble, though, because it gets the sheets and mattress all wet (I soak through the towels…) and it would be nice to O without all the cleanup afterward. We’ve tried “granny pads” but they’re crinkly and the plastic sticks to me. I’d love to be able to control when I squirt and when I don’t! Any tips?

  10. Deia,
    Sorry it took a few days to answer your question. I had to do a little “sexpirament” trying to control FE. What I have found is this:
    I can keep from having them altogether by not allowing so much stimulation in the same area. (Trying not to have muliple O’s 1 right after the other, instead have a short recovery time inbetween them). Which I’m happy about figuring out, I’ve been able to have sex in a public place. :) (privatly though).
    Once I do start to O repeatedly I can’t stop the FE from happening. I am also like you in making a mess. I’m washing sheets and the matress pad every other day!
    I’m really thinking of buying a liberator throw to help in that area. You probably could make one a lot cheaper than buying (80.00), but I can’t sew and would be embarrassed to ask my friend. So I guess I’ll have to shell out the $.

  11. Hey intendedforpleasure,

    I can control FE…think of the bills. Sorry, smP smile.

    Want to have a long standing joke between the two of you? Buy a liberator throe. Biggest ha,ha for us.

    The stupid thing never stays still as we are extremely active! Our love making begins with a grin as we dutifully place our gorgeous royal blue throe on our bed or on our carpet and later…fold it up again.

    We have figured that most happy users are having blase sex wherein she lies and he does and that’s perfect for a body fluid soaker upper.

    Yes, our throe has taken a liberal soaking and washed/dried beautifully but alongwith it went the sheets, etc. I flood like crazy as my man makes me go nuts. smP out ;-)

  12. First off i am new to posting on this site but i have really enjoyes and learned a lot from you ladies. Thank You Sharon for posting more questions about this topic.

    I recently started to try to ejaculate about 2 months ago after reading some of these posts and first i want to say it takes some practice on your own ladies. I had a hard time relaxing during sex with my DH so i started to pleasure myself with a vibrator we bought and figured i could relax better if my DH wasnt around. after a few tries right before i was about to orgasm i completely relaxed my pelvic muscles and omg i cannot explain the explosion i had when i ejaculated for the first time. although it was only gushes at first now its more like a half a cup (: (sorry for the TMI) the more i practiced the better i got at controlling it. it was really funny because for me i could not get my left leg to stop shaking afterwards pretty strange i know.

    About a week and half ago i finanally was able to ejaculate while my DH was inside me and i have never seen my DH get soooo turned on. Since we first got married 6 years ago. I found the best position for me to ejaculate was standing up bending over on the bed while my DH is behind me and i hold a vib to my “C”. any other positions from you ladies that have been able to achieve this that i should try? dont be affraid to be specific beause i think of the problems I had when trying to do this was i didnt know enough about all the details like empty my bladder, what position, kegal exercises, etc…

    I reallly want to encourage you ladies out there to dont be afraid for one to try it on your own and for two never give up trying. this has been one of the best things that has happend to our sex life and i am now at a point where i feel more turned on often as well as my DH so our sex life has gone from 2 a week to more like 6 times a week.

    I am so glad that their are other christian ladies out there to help me in becoming the best lover possible. I look forward to reading more about this subject especially since DH is so turned on when i can ejaculate.

    Mary

  13. Deia,

    Liberator, who Cinnamon Sticks talks about in another article, makes a wonderful product in their Boudoir section called a Fascinator Throes. They are 2 sided with “an inner moisture barrier that ensures your bedding stays spotless”. They really do work we have had 2 for many years now. I did a google search for them and you can buy them from Walgreens online with free shipping. http://www.walgreens.com/search/search_results.jsp?term=Fascinator+Throes&x=13&y=9
    This makes them cheaper then Liberators price with shipping. Plus you don’t have to put up with all the images on their site.

    What I really like about them is they are 5X6 ft and stop all the liquid from FE and then you just throw them in the wash afterwards. This makes lovemaking even more enjoyable when you aren’t worried about the mess and having to clean up afterwards.

    Leah

  14. Thanks Leah,

    I will defintly have to get one of these now. As great as FE has been washing sheets everyday is a pain and this should really help. The hard part i guess is making sure that when you orgasm you are sitting on top of it as me and my DH love to move around alot and you just never know where you will be when you orgasm.

    Mary

  15. I am right there with you Mary my legs shake like crazy after i FE. it would be interesting to see a poll on how many women can FE, it seems like i am hearing of more women are able to Ejaculate now a days. Do you all think that is because there is more material on how you can make yourself FE? One thing i will add to Mary’s advice is for me the first time i did it i was 23 and i just got in the bath (so i wouldnt have to worry about cleanup) and did what i call a buildup masturbation session where i get myself close to orgasm and then stop some and then start back up again. I did this for about 45 min and then when i was ready to try to ejcaulate i just relaxed my muscles and let go no caring if i peeing because i had the bath water running. After i had my first one i was able to achieve this with my Husband which he lovvvvvessss it when i do that.

    I hope this helps any of you ladies out there…

  16. Sexyforhim22,

    you know whats funny is my first time i ejaculated was doing a buildup as well. It seems that when my husband and I have a quick sex sesssion i dont usually have FE but when we stop before we get there or I have multiples and we try different positions that im all built up and just explode on my 2nd orgasm. its really strange when it happens at first but it is like no other orgasm. i wounder if more and more woman out there are experiencing FE because they have now learned more techniques and details on how to get themselves to FE. I feel liike im different than some women though when it comes to the amount of liquid that comes out of me because i sometimes get really dehydrated when i FE and sometimes get light headed. really strange i know…

    Mary

  17. Mary I completly agree I get light headed when I have ejaculation orgasms. I can’t always get myself to ejaculate but when I do my husband goes crazy. Maybe we just put out more ejaculation when we orgasm.

    Leslie

  18. I need help I am getting so tired of having to change our sheets after every sex session because of my ejaculaton. We tried using a liberator but its just so hard to stay in one position for me and my husband we move around way to much.

    Lately we have just been having sex in our shower just because of there’s no cleanup involved.

    Does anyone have any other positions or suggestions???

  19. hey,
    I guess im kinda new at all this, I have only been married around a year and a half, but I would love to learn to FE I have read about it on your site(which I love by the way!) I know that a lot of times during stimulation (G-spot more then C) I will feel like I have to pee, and sometimes feel something close to a release, but im pretty sure I have never FE before, any tips or trick would be welcomed!!!!

  20. luvhim75, my bride learned to ejaculate almost 2 years ago and last year we bought the liberator throe after using towels and surgical pads. The first throe we bought leaked through so they sent us a new one without a hassle. It turns out that she just floods like some of the ladies here have described. We have to wash it every time, too, and often the sheets with it. We are active, too, but we just make sure her hips are somewhere away from the edge of the throe. When we shift positions, if we have to readjust the throe, it only takes a second. Is it a pain? Kind of, but not a huge deal. One thing I heard other people on TMB mention is getting a shower liner. You can put that under the throe, or you can overlap your throes or blankets if you need to. Another cheaper option, which doesn’t feel as good, but will work under the throe to protect the sheets, is to get a picnic blanket, which is waterproof on one side (for sitting on wet grass) and sometimes a quilt on the other. You can get them for about $30 or so.

  21. Thanks for the advice on the throw blanket. It can help on times where we are on our bed but a lot of times we are in different places in the house and its a pain to always drag that everywhere.

    Megan,

    Some of the other girls on here may have some different tips for ýou. For me it took some trying to do it myself so I was more relaxed what really helped me is doing “build ups” what I mean is right before I was about to orgasm I would stop and start up again after a few min and continue this for about 30min or so. Then when your ready to orgasm usually it helps me if I arch my back up in the air right as I am orgasming. TMI I know don’t know how else to explain. Also using a gspot vib or bullet really helps me.

    For me though I started out only having tiny gushes then once I started to get the feel for it especially with my husband I would actually ejaculate a bunch. Sounds like if you are getting to where you have to pee your getting close just try to relax and then as you orgasm push out and arch up. Hope some of this helps. I have some other stuff that has helped so just let me know just didn’t want to overwhelm you with TMI.
    By the way once you do it you will know cause its so intense and feels so awesome.

    Luvhim75

  22. Well the cool thing is I had my first FE last weekend, and it was a lot of E. It basically happened on it’s own I haven’t really been practicing, or doing anything on my own. Thank you for all the advice!!

  23. Megan,
    I’m glad you finally experienced this. You’ll find they come easier now and more often. Have fun

  24. Congrats Megan!!

    I still remember my frist time ejaculating infront of my hubby. He went crazy. Last night was the first time I had ever ejaculated while my husband was inside me. Usually, he has to pull out right before but we tried WOT position and right as I felt it coming on I kept him inside me and it literally just gushed all over him. It really felt more intense for me than when he pulls out right before.

  25. Yeah, my husband was in shock lol, and It was hard for me to believe that I could do that. I haven’t yet been able to do it while I O. It has happened before and after, so I need to practice more.

    Do any of you girls have to push out? In my case I have to relax and push down at the same time, hubby will actually feel pressure coming from behind my gspot, and it moves down into my gspot and it will get hard and bulge, and that’s when I push harder and I ej. But he can actually feel when I’m going to E (when he brings it on with his fingers, yet to experiance FE through intercourse).

    Anyone else have this kind of experiance?

  26. I never ejaculated much until I was pregnant and on top. That was 3 years ago. Recently (for about the last 8 months) my husband has figured out exactly how to make me squirt with his fingers and then I even do it more when on top!! It’s so annoying, though, because it makes such a big puddle (or 2 or 3) so we’ve gotten a waterproof bottom sheet. Really, I feel like my husband’s got a new toy and wants to make it happen as much as possible hahaha. I don’t know if there’s a record of how much anyone has female ejaculated in one night but I think I might be a contender for that title. I’m glad to see some ladies on here know what I’m talking about!!

  27. Hey twentybeetles,
    That call name started my giggle motor….

    Dont’ fret about the wet too much. I went dry for my entire marriage until 2 years ago and will not go dry again. So I wash the bedding a bit more!!! SSSSOOO WHAT.
    It is fun seeing the look of mock shock on my husband’s face when I have to ‘change the bed AGAIN’. Creates a great series of naughty talk for us and is a constant reminder to me of where I have been and where we are today.

    Making his own woman cum all over the place is what many men dream of. Enjoy your man enjoying you!

    Let him play with his new toy but I challenge YOU to take it to the next level and get more passionate with your man than you have thought possible. Let your inner woman rage all over him. Neither of you will be the same again.

  28. My record would be 3 times in one night. You maybe say it was 4 but the lasÞ one was just a little gush so I wouldent count that. (:

    It happens more for me to be in a standing bent over position. Not sure if that will help you all or not that are trying to ejaculate.

  29. heheh l have had it happen five times.. but i have yet to actually ejaculate while Oing.. any advice on that actually? I did one time but only a little bit, and now when I don’t ejaculate, I literally feel so much pressure that I feel like im going to explode! but its yet to actually fully come out without me pushing. it has “seeped” a little on its own.. any advice on learning to do it while Oing? or anyone have the same experience?

  30. Yeah I had the same problem when I first begun ejaculating. For me I had to learn by myself how to time it where when I felt the orgasm coming on I would push out and usually I would ejaculate at the same time. Do you usually just ejaculate after you orgasm or is it happening before? For me I usually have to have my husband pull out right as I am orgasming and I just continue with rubbing myself or using a toy so I ejaculate at the same time. Every once in awhile I will ejaculate while it will gush out some while he is still inside of me. Just take practice I guess. (Which is the fun part) hope this helps let me know if you have any other questions I know I had a bunch in the beginning.

  31. I have E before and after an O… mostly before. but that’s mostly because my husband didn’t make it happen. I don’t use toys, we used to at the start of our marriage, but after a while it became a hindrance in our relationship because I could only O from a toy, we started using one to aid in the orgasm process because it always took me so long to orgasm, if I did at all, but I think a lot of that had to do with our relationship at the time, because my husband wasn’t really trying all that much. but anyways, we stopped using them and just worked on our sex life without them, and its much better, and that’s also when I started FE. Im not very great at masturbating, I really don’t even enjoy it, but also my sexual relationship with my husband is like half living with a refuser. if I could practice more with him I think I could get to the point where I could do it while I O, but as it is he hardly makes me E at all anyways. i have a higher sex drive then him I guess, but im not like really crazy, if we could have sex at least 3 times a week I would be happy, but nothing i do seems to help him want to more often. he wont even do the things I ask him to do, he will only do what he know will get me there and that’s it, nothing else. while I do things for him all the time. but even I have decreased in what I do for him because its hard trying to feed some one else s flames when they never do anything for you thats anything special. im still trying, I have tried showing him, telling him in a loving manner, even spelling out step by step exactly what I would like him to do, and still he doesn’t go any extra miles for me. now I just don’t say anything. I have tried seducing him into foreplay.. just doesn’t work with him.. our sex life is a lot better now even then it used to be, because at least he makes me O, but he never goes the extra mile. never lets us see our full potential in our sex life together. I love him, and want him so much.. I just don’t see what I can do to help him on this.. he is an amazing husband, great man of God. but this area is something hes been struggling with since we have been married.

  32. I am so sorry to hear all that Megan. I will be prayin for you two. I can’t imagine my husband not going that extra mile. Just keep praying about and expressing how much you love it when he actually does go that extra mile. Does he enjoy it when you ejaculate at all? Or does he just see it as somethin he has to do to make you happy?

    You know for me I can almost always ejaculate while I orgasm if I am in a standing bent over position. Have you tried a position like that yet? Not sure if it has something to do with gravity but it seems to work a lot. Sometimes it may be better to find that one position that makes your orgasm everytime and then just practice on pushing out. I can’t even imagine the feeling of all that pressure built up and not being about to ejaculate.

  33. he says he enjoys it, but doesn’t seem very interested in making me, its kind of a actions speak louder then words thing i guess. but with everything, I am praying about it, and believing God to change it but, sometimes I just get a little down about the whole thing.. i try and be positive and everything. he knows there’s something wrong also, but he doesn’t really put a lot of effort, by that I know i need to put more effort into it, but sometimes I just get tired of always being the one who tries to make our sex life passionate and creative. when you aren’t getting fed, its hard to keep putting wood on some ones fire when they aren’t adding any to yours. if you don’t feel beautiful and sexy to your spouse, then its really really hard to be really on fire for it yourself, I know that the only way things will change is for me to step it up more, but after literally doing that for our entire marriage its hard to just not feel very sexy, or desirable to your husband. I see him, and think about him, and leave him sexy text messages almost everyday.. i just feel like he doesn’t really desire me, and that really takes a toll on my desire level, even if I want him physically, its hard to get there mentally, because of the above things..

    haven’t tried it in a standing position yet, sounds like a good idea.. the next time i get a chance to ejaculate I will give it a try..

  34. Does anyone know where all that fluid comes from? I’m curious :) I have made a puddle before. I have E with manual stimulation and sometimes during intercourse.


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