We felt compelled to address this issue because we have tried to be clear from the beginning that we are here to provide useful information to married, Christian women and yet it has never been our desire to titillate our readers with our own experiences. We always research incoming links that are showing up on our stat page and in doing so we came across a woman who said she had become aroused by reading our blog and for that reason she did not feel good about reading here. We certainly applaud her awareness of what boundaries she needs to establish for her own purity, and yet it caused us to re-evaluate if we have stepped over the line.
While each of us “spice sisters” agrees that the information we are offering is an important message for the church, we do not want to set up a stumbling block for anyone. After considering our writing style we are even more convinced that for those who want and need it, our desire to provide pertinent information for women regarding godly sexuality in a respectful manner does offer something of value to the church. However, as encouraging as it is to see how many people read our blog daily, if what you are reading here arouses you in a way that takes your eyes off your spouse, it is better for you to guard your heart and chose other information to read.
Having said that, if what you read here focuses your eyes more intently on your spouse and you are drawn more closely to them because of it, then we encourage that sort of arousal. Godly information about sex spoken to a woman who is fully aware of who God made her to be in bed with her husband ought to be arousing. If she considers the idea of applying what she reads here to her own marriage and is aroused, we think that is appropriate. The line is that you are not aroused generally by something external or something that is not yours to lust after, but by your own passion for your husband (or wife, for the husbands who read here).
We know we are not going to please everyone and we make no apologies for our overt dialogue about sex, but we want to simply encourage you to be aware of your own necessary boundaries.
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Your blog doesn’t turn me on, It sometimes gives me somthign to think about in dealing with my husband physically. I, myself personally, am not really aroused by matter of fact sex talk which tends to lean more towards the clinical.
Your site is something I was trying to figure out how to start myself without putting all of my and my husband biz-ness out there for all the internet to see.
I think you all do it well..
I just wanted to take some time to thank all of you for this blog. At first I was very skeptical of what you were doing but am now convinced that it is a form of ministry. I am all too well aware of what pornography does to a marriage relationship or any relationships for that matter. One fantastic organization for men to find help with pornography or other sexual sins is called FMO for men only. Seek one out if you need it. As far as this site being a turn on, well that depends. We have gotten turned on while reading it but its because we were turned on towards each other and the creative ideas we now had. The only problem we have found with groups like the FMO is that they fail to show what a great exciting and yet Godly sex life is like. I guess its easier to see what it isnt more than what it is. Thank you for what you do here.
Honestly, I love this site! I visit nearly every day to see if there is a new article. I read every article and pretty much every comment. It helps keep my mind focused on my husband and that aspect of our relationship. So, yes, the ideas can turn me on in that way, but that is it. I, personally, do not feel like you have written anything inappropriate. It has all been biblical and tastefully done.
As everyone else has said, thanks for the blog and keep up the good work! I so appreciate the godly perspective from which you write. Thanks!
That’s almost laughable about the turning on. I have had a lot of shame and guilt in my life thrust upon me and this site has really helped me have a spiritual renewal and enrichment with my husband. I think that sex in general makes most followers of Christ squirm and try to run away while they condemn those having sex, equating all sexual feelings with sin, not just those behaviors and thoughts that are sinful as sin. Having come from a household and church in which this was the case, it was almost enough to turn me away from Jesus, and I’m thankful His arms have always been open to me, even when those of the people I loved were not.
I LOVE sex with my husband. There have been several articles that have really enhanced the spiciness in my bedroom with the man that God provided me, and I him. Thank you so much for this site!
Thank you for all the feedback ladies.
I think that if someone hears about our blog and comes here with a preconceived opinion that sex is not to be discussed except between a husband and wife, they will be shocked and have a negative feeling. I think this was the case in the comment we read from the woman who had become aroused.
The problem with the whole “sex should not be discussed except between a husband and wife” position is that it brought us to this place where men and women are bound in lies and wrong thinking associated with sex. Where women believe that they aren’t meant to enjoy sex because so much of the information from the church is that men love sex and women love intimacy.
Anyway, thanks again for letting us know that our blog is fueling your passion for your husbands. That is what we are here for.
I love your site! I have a good friend who her and I have had many talks of what is okay or not. Usually with her asking me since I am older. I have since told her of this and TMB. I myself am now addicted to both! I just can’t seem to get enough info to keep up with my increasing drive! Sure there are things that I read here and think “Oh my gosh!” but my mind continues to ponder it.
I’m trying to be open to everything since up until recently I just knew sex was for men and somthing women had to give. ANd I gave, just it was a terrible game DH and I played (and both hated). We just didn’t know any different. Thank you so much for speaking your minds and sharing.
I am learning so much and even my DH will call me on his way home from work wondering if I’ve learned anything new! Thank you for helping me to realize it is okay to love, adore, desire, want, need, crave this wonderful man He gave me!
Thank you so much for this site – I really enjoy what I read – mostly because I can’t wait until I can show my husband what I’ve read! This is a wonderful site to learn and grow my marriage in a wonderful Godly way! Thanks again.
I recently found this site. I’ve been married for over a year, but found our physical intimacy to be lacking somewhat due to stress, my inhibitions, and both of us being overworked. I was overjoyed to find a site of women who appear to be aiming towards people like me who know God intends more for them physically. Let me just say, the ideas I’ve been given have already been a help. Thank you, ladies, for this ministry.
Personally, I love this website! It helps me to look forward to mind-blowing, amazing, creative and frequent sex with my fiance, and that 6 months isn’t an eternity to wait! I think that the way sexual issues/advice is discussed here is great. No beating around the bush, Biblically sound every time, and nothing sexually immoral.
I guess I just mainly wanted to point out that in response to setter’s comment, not all of us are married and can take it out on DH later, and those in my position probably don’t find that fact too amusing!
I think that talking about this as a reminder to everyone to know, set and respect their own boundaries is a very good idea. I, myself, being unmarried and saving sex for marriage (this time) read articles in small doses.
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
I love this blog! I love how it is very focused on sex between a MARRIED man and woman! I grew up in a home where sex was NEVER talked about. I was lucky I figured out where tampons go so I knew how to do it at all. Having come from a childhood where I had a very low self esteem, I have found it hard to consider myself attractive. I have the most patient, loving husband EVER whose deepest desire is that I am truly happy. I love reading this blog because I am still so clueless on how to do some of this stuff sometimes. I want to enjoy sex with my husband and you guys have lots of helpful information. Still, sometimes there are words I don’t quite know what they mean. You would think I wouldn’t be so stupid in this area, but I kinda am.
Hello Aprilyn,
Don’t worry too much. I am 46 and still learning bigtime. I wish I could be a sultry, sassy, sexy ho for my man but I can’t be anyone other than who I am.
I feel lacking as a female because of my mother’s poor body image. I have 4 daughters so I am re-educating myself about what it means to be a femininely gorgeous woman inside and outside.
I have been becoming more of what my husband wants me to be and I could not be happier. I have not lost myself at all, which is what I feared. Instead, I am more fulfilled than I have ever been. Stay reading and learning and above all, love on your man.
I agree with others here – reading your site makes me think of my husband. I read it and think about what such and such would be like to do with him and that is what turns me on. I am not turned on by the actual site. I like reading about what has worked for other women and sometimes it is encouraging to read that people have stuff that works and stuff that doesn’t. Before becoming Christian (yes I had sex outside of marriage) I had a bunch of girlfriends that I could talk to about sex. We would share all the kind of stuff that is shared here EXCEPT here it is God honouring sex. I thank you for this site, I also thank you for the position pictures. It is so nice that my husband and I can look at them together to see what you are talking about and then try them out. The clay figures are great…:)