Camping Sex

Tell me what you think of when you hear “May long weekend.” For me, one of the first things I think of is that it’s the start of camping season. Usually the weather is good enough to enjoy being outside so a lot of people head off for a few days of sitting around the fire chatting with friends and family, eating, drinking, reading, laughing, playing and just doing whatever it is they love about camping. However, if you are like my husband and I, you will also have discovered that camping sex is some of the hottest sex you can have and one of the best pastimes of camping.

If you are not an “outdoors girl,” you may not relate to this article, but go ahead a read it anyway. Maybe you can take some of the ideas and use them in your back yard or something. I actually think I am the only Spice Sister who likes camping. If I am wrong, I am sure one of them will speak up. :)

So why is camping sex so hot? A couple of things contribute to the hot-factor. One is simply that you are relaxed enough to actually think about sex. You are spending quality time together day in and day out. If you have kids you have been watching your husband do the daddy thing which I always find incredibly sexy. We don’t tend to drink alcohol very often, but we do on occasion and camping is one of the occasions. It’s one of the things we do to enjoy our vacation. All these reasons contribute to a high desire to have sex, but experiencing it is what makes it great.

Usually you can set up your site so that you have optimal privacy around the fire and so making love under the stars with a roaring fire next to you is a very real option. It is amazingly romantic. You can park your vehicle, set up your tent and run a clothes line (with towels “drying” on it when you want to make love) all in certain ways to minimize the likelihood of other campers seeing you.

A nice position is woman on top with your husband sitting in a comfy camping chair. Something your husband may be pleasantly surprised by is that if he is leaning back while you are in reverse cowgirl position, when you move up and down on him he is going to see peaks of the fire as you thrust. It’s a unique visual you may not always have access to, but you can burn it in his memory. If your husband is aroused by seeing you masturbate you might also try sitting on the other side of the fire from him and giving him a show. It’s very excited to do something that is a normal part of your sex life in a new way, like outside by a fire.

Then there is the whole aspect of having sex in a tent or RV, depending on the kind of camping you do, that is enough to add in that spicy ingredient of variety to your sex life. Be sure you have a large, comfortable, inflatable bed if you are tenting. It is not at all enjoyable to have a rock impale your back while you are in the throws of passion. Also, have enough sleeping bags or blankets so that you are warm enough. As well, having to be quieter for the neighbors can be fuel for the fire for some couples.

I recently found a book that looks quite interesting on this topic. It is called Sex in a Tent: A Wild Couple’s Guide to Getting Naughty in Nature and it is definitely on my book wish list. It covers amusing things like how to create a romantic dinner in a ziploc bag and how to have sex in a tent without destroying it, as well as truly helpful information like which are the most romantic campsites in North America and how to convince a reluctant spouse.

Camping sex is indeed one of the most fun sexual experiences my husband and I have enjoyed consistently. It never fails to disappoint. So may your summer camping trips be filled with as much great sex as great family fun this year and in the years to come.

Pegging

Wow what a topic to write on, huh?! For those of you unfamiliar with the above term, “Pegging” is the term given to the practice of heterosexual anal intercourse, where the female wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate the male. Now that you know the topic of this article, look at this email we received from a couple:

“My wife and I like to use a strap-on dildo in our play where she is penetrating me. I’ve heard this practice is growing in popularity as evidenced in self-help movies for couples and has even coined a new term called ‘pegging’. I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on this practice.”

Again, here we are with something that is not specifically mentioned in scriptures. We are left to try and decide for ourselves if this practice falls within the category of sin. Does it involve bringing another person into your marriage bed? No, unless you are watching one of those ‘self-help’ movies mentioned above (ie: porn). We have already established that pornography of any kind is sinful in nature, as it does bring other people into our bedrooms, and causes us to lust. Does it involve incest or bestiality? No, it does not. Okay, so let’s take a more in depth look at this practice.

On this blog we have talked about anal stimulation and full blown anal sex. We’ve outlined things you need to take into consideration, discussed what the bible does and does not say, and we’ve cautioned you to weigh all the pros and cons and come to a mutual decision together with your spouse. Should pegging be any different just because the man is on the receiving end?

We have an article on the female G-spot and how you can use that to help reach orgasm. Then we have another on the male prostate, and how it can also help to produce some wonderful orgasms for the men, both directly and indirectly. We talk about toys, and how they can be used to help our sex lives, by using them on both the husbands and the wives. All of these things, when done between married consenting couples, are okay. So now, what about pegging?

Some men have found that they really do enjoy direct prostate stimulation. Wives can use their fingers and/or toys to do this for their husbands. They also have the option of attaching a dildo to a harness and strapping it around themselves, to use on their husbands. When a wife uses a strap on, it frees her hands up so that they can be utilized in other ways, like stroking the penis or caressing the testicles. While this practice may seem a bit…unusual, I have to stop and ask myself, at what point (if any) does this become sin?

So a woman inserting a hand held toy into her husband in the hopes of giving him pleasure is okay. But if she straps that toy to her body in the hopes of giving him that same pleasure, suddenly people start questioning her (their) morals, Christianity, beliefs, sexual orientation, and more. Why?

I’ve heard the following arguments:

“Well it’s just not natural!” Well that toupee that your uncle wears isn’t natural either. And neither is your sister’s blonde hair that she got out of a box.

“Women weren’t meant to function like that!” Well, the mouth is meant to function as something we use to eat with. It chews our food up and aids in the digestion process. Yet many of us use that same mouth for oral sex, even though one could argue that the mouth wasn’t “meant” to function as a receptacle for a penis.

“That is like a complete role reversal and I can’t imagine God being pleased with that!” I would caution any of you who assume to know what God is thinking. Just because you aren’t comfortable with a particular act, does not mean that it’s inherently wrong or sinful.

“Any man who would want that would have to have some hidden homosexual tendencies!” This is just pure rubbish, and again just one big false assumption. I happen to love my own smell and taste, so much so that I would probably give myself oral sex if I were limber enough to do so. :lol: However, the thoughts of being with another woman and tasting her are repulsive and nauseating to me. Just because I am comfortable with my own body and within my own sexuality doesn’t mean that I have lesbian tendencies.

The most basic fact is that men do indeed have a prostate that, when stimulated, can give wonderful sexual feelings and even orgasm. Many couples describe pegging as something that builds onto their intimacy. I’ve heard one man talk about his wife’s willingness and eagerness to do this for him and how it had really brought them closer together and made him feel unconditionally loved. He valued the fact that his wife did not think he was odd for wanting this. They had prayed about it and did not feel the Holy Spirit convicting them against it, so they were at peace with their decision.

We all do need to keep a couple of things in mind though:

1 Corinthians 6:12 (NIV)

12 “Everything is permissible for me”-but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”-but I will not be mastered by anything.

Romans 14:19 (NASB)

19 So then we pursue the things, which make for peace and the building up of one another.

We need to remember that just because something is not technically a sin, that doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily good for us. God calls us to pursue the things that bring us closer to our spouse and to Him. We should be building up each other and concentrating on those things that are edifying for our marriages. There are those of us who have no desire what so ever to try pegging. It would not benefit our marriage. There are also other Christian couples who embrace pegging in their marriage bed. Whether you do or don’t engage in this practice, we all need to remember to be respectful to each other and to refrain from judgment, because we each have our own personal convictions and walk with our Heavenly Father.

I have voiced to my husband that I am open to the possibility if he ever wanted to try this. He has told me absolutely not. He is not into prostate massage and is uncomfortable with the idea of pegging. I dropped the subject and haven’t brought it back up. He made it known how he feels and does not deserve to be pushed into doing something that he is uncomfortable with. Besides, we don’t need pegging to have a hot and spicy marriage bed!

I realize that this can be a controversial or taboo topic, but I have tried to write out my thoughts and feelings on this subject in a balanced way that is in accordance to God’s word. If you and your spouse are considering trying this, then please pray, asking Him to give you clarity.

Taking Care of Yourself

How well do you take care of yourself from a social or emotional standpoint? I know that our husbands are our best friends but they do not need to be our only source for social interaction. I talked briefly about the positive effects friendship can provide in “Orgasm, Chocolate and Friends…Oh My!!!” I am now referring to having friends as a support system.

I was thinking about how important friendships are to children. Young children will even pal around with a pet, stuffed animal or have imaginary friends. In our teen years our friends have a big influence over the type of personality we develop. As we get married many women lose their identity. Sometimes we get ultra focused on pleasing our husband that we lose sight of the things we enjoyed before we were married. I am not saying that you should be hanging out in clubs with your girlfriends if that’s what you did with them prior to being married. You can easily connect with a friend on a short walk or over a cup of coffee. All you really need is one good friend. Quality is much more important than quantity. It is great to know that I have friends with whom I can laugh, cry, pray with, vent to or get advice from. My friends are some of my biggest fans as well as my toughest critics and I know it is because they love me unconditionally.

It is a known fact that friendships can lower blood pressure, heart rates, cholesterol and stress. Have you ever become so consumed in an activity with a friend that issues that had been hanging over your head suddenly took a back burner for a bit? It is a great feeling to be able to pray or laugh with a friend when times are tough.

In the past I have become so consumed with trying to be a good wife and a good mother that I lose my sense of self. While it’s true that I am a wife as well as a mother, I am also my own person. It is so important to have interests outside marriage. In the long run they enrich the quality of my marriage. Plus, my husband fell in love with that person so why would I ever want to get rid of her?

Monday’s Mission #10

Spice up your sex life a bit by trying something new! Your Monday’s mission is have sex somewhere new at home. Whether you choose to make love in the backyard, on the back porch, in a room that you have never made love before…it’s all your choice! Have fun!


Position # 18: Road House Style

Okay, do any of you remember the movie Road House with Patrick Swayze? It was a 1989 flick that included a scene where they had sex up against the wall. Well, when we got married, we named that position “Road House” because that is where we got the idea to do it. The above picture is from sexpositionspics.com

To do “Road House” the wife simply jumps up in her husband’s arms and holds on to him around his neck. She helps to hold her weight up while the husband cups her bottom with his hands and helps to guide her over his penis. Insertion can happen at this point, or the husband can walk over to a wall, and use the wall to push against while inserting. The wife’s back will be against the wall at this point, and her legs should be wrapped around the husband’s waist. Cosmo has a picture of it here.

We absolutely love doing Road House sex. In the past, we have actually arranged our furniture so that the wall spot that we like to use has a table on one or both sides (think sofa table or end table). That table beside me actually helps so that if we need to, I can put one of my feet on that table to help hold my weight up some more.

Pros: This is a very erotic position. It is face-to-face so it does allow for kissing. Using the wall as leverage, the husband can give some powerful thrusts and also grind into the wife’s clitoris to help with her orgasm.

Cons: The husband needs to be strong enough to hold and carry his wife’s weight. It may become tiring for him after a few minutes.

Question: Does Size Matter?

We received a question on whether penis size really matters.  To tell you the honest truth it seems to be more important to men then it is for women.  It’s not the size of the stick that matters.  What matters is the magic within. A man with a small penis can be as great in the bed as a man who is well endowed.   On the flip side, lousy lovers come in all different shapes and sizes too.  I think many people have a misconception of what average actually is.  The average penis is 5.5 inches long when erect.  That being said, any sized penis can be satisfying.  All you need to do is find out which position works the best with your size.  Do woman think or talk about their man’s penis?  Maybe, but I guarantee it’s more about the hardness factor or how it was used rather then how many inches it is; how it smells and tastes rather then if it’s the size of a tree stump or twig.  The great thing about a woman’s vagina is that it stretches and shrinks according to the size of your husband’s penis.  The vagina is very accommodating. ;)

Book Review: Red-Hot Monogamy

It’s always an adventure to look for something new to bring a couple even closer together. So, I was thinking… why not get another book about intimacy, so we can learn even more about one another?  After searching through Amazon to find something that I thought that we might enjoy, we took a quick trip to our local Border’s book store to get a hands on look.  I quickly looked at the chapter titles, read the forward, skimmed a few chapters, shared some tidbits with my husband and then decided this would be a great investment for our relationship.  Soon after, I ordered it from Amazon and we dove right into our latest journey together. The second couple’s book we obtained and the one that has had the most impact on our marriage has been Red-Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrell.

Red-Hot Monogamy is a book that covers all the bases so that it will be helpful to young newly-weds, those middle-aged with children and those who are enjoying their twilight years. One of the things that I love about this read is that it’s meant to do jointly.  These Christian authors even ask for the readers to make an eight week commitment to stay the course of the book.  But, it’s also great because they do acknowledge that not all couples may be willing or able to go through something like this and the one who can participate is encouraged to do so.

Each chapter is geared toward a specific topic on how to make your marriage and sex life sizzle.  At the end of each chapter is “home work”.  Now, don’t get all anxiety ridden thinking back to your days of school!  Most of the homework is very fun and all of it is thought provoking, promoting the art of conversation and discussion between you and your spouse.  Red-Hot Monogamy is full of practical ideas for romance as well as sensible advice for dealing with very serious issues that occasionally happen in your marriage.  And it’s an added bonus to get both the male and female perspectives on different subjects.  Not only do the Farrell’s give their viewpoints, but the book is sprinkled with stories from other contributors and is enveloped with ideas that are scripturally grounded.

Not only is Red-Hot Monogamy good for an eight week period, the lessons learned by reading this book will last a lifetime.  I also foresee us revisiting this book in the future… reminiscing about old discussions as well as initiating new dialogue.  With all the worldly information out on the shelves about how to keep those home fires burning, it’s so awesome that there are people willing to write helpful, God-centered books that encourage Christians to enjoy sex as the Lord anticipated.

Q&A: I have bumps all over my skin after I shave………

Question: I have bumps all over my skin after I shave and I don’t know how to get rid of them. Any ideas? Please keep in mind that I am of African descent.

First of all kudos to you for going out of your way to please your husband this way.  I don’t think it’s unusual for some women to have very sensitive skin in that area.  I think it might be even more common among people of African descent.  I’ve known men who had to wear a beard because of a very pronounced razor stubble that resulted from shaving.

I find it helpful to keep the area well moisturized.  Use a moisturizing shaving cream or gel, or even hair conditioner when you shave.  Also, be sure to moisturize well after shaving.  I like to use coconut oil after I shave any part of my body.  I find that this helps to keep the skin nice and soft, and I don’t have any bumps as a result.

If you do these things and still have bumps or rashes, I’d say it’s time to stop.  Even if you can’t shave comfortably, you could give yourself a very close trim with a pair of small scissors.

I hope this helps!

Monday’s Mission #9

Your mission this week is to flash your husband. Try to do it some time when he will not be expecting it. You can flash him your breasts when he walks into the kitchen for dinner, or you could wear a skirt with no panties and flash him when you pass each other on the stairs! Use your imagination and come up with the perfect flash that will surprise your man!

Position #17: The Sidewinder

This is a simple position for giving oral sex.

1.  Your husband kneels on a surface of your choosing or he may stand if the surface is elevated.  (Your bed will probably be the most comfortable for the both of you.)

2.  You lie on your side, propping your head on your hand or on pillows.

3.  You then proceed to give OS to your hubby.  (Head on over to our Oral Sex category if you need some tips!)

Pros:  By using The Sidewinder position, your husband has his hands free to access any part of your body as well as full visual stimulus of your body and what you’re doing to his penis.  You may also use your free hand to caress your spouse’s body or touch yourself.  Also, this is an easy position for your hubby to gently thrust while receiving oral sex.

Cons:  Your husband may get weak in the knees after you’re done with him!

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