I am wondering if it is possible to learn to orgasm in new ways? I know it’s possible, but any ideas on how? I’d love to be able to just with his hands/fingers so that way if we are somewhere not so secluded I still could. I’ve read from others how they have, but except for a couple positions I tend to not get aroused. It is exciting and almost euphoric but why wasn’t there more? I know this is wrong that I even know this, but as a teen it would have drove me crazy! I am only 34…….it surely can’t be my age, can it?
I think that many of us have our “safe positions” that allow us to achieve orgasm. When we try to stretch our boundaries we almost need to rewire our brain. When you are home try to reach orgasm without using a toy so that you can try to ‘train’ your body to respond to touch. Frustration can be a real mood killer so if you start to feel frustrated then use that safe position or a toy to bring you to orgasm. If you are trying to be intimate in a new setting, such as outdoors, it really takes some focusing on relaxation and shutting out other stimuli. If you are comfortable touching yourself then I recommend you taking the reigns those first few times. Either use your own fingers so your husband can see what feels good or put your hand over his and guide them. Try having your husband whisper exactly what he plans to do to you to keep things simmering.
Just like everything else, practice makes perfect. The article called ‘Clitoral Stimulation’ lists some ideas for you or your husband to use for arousal. Much of what we do in regards to sex is trial and error. The more you do it the better you be at sensing what arouses you. Keep in mind that the types of orgasms you have may vary depending on where you are in your cycle. I do not think it is an age related issue. From what I hear things will get better with age because you know what makes you tick. Just think how much better you will know your body 5 years from now!!