Birth Control Options

A reader recently asked us to address the issue of birth control because it is an important part of a couples sex life. It is my hope to present a non-biased approach to sharing what I have found in my research of different birth control methods. Please discuss these options with your OBGYN to determine which method will be best for you.

My husband and I found that it was very difficult to decide on birth control methods over the years. Nothing seemed to really be perfect and we just made due with the best possible option at the time.

There are a variety of different forms of birth control and so many variables to consider when deciding on the one that is right for you. I wish to overview a variety of popular methods with a description of each one. For more detailed information on these methods you may find these websites helpful:

Please keep the following in mind:

I do not promote or encourage any form of “emergency contraception” as I believe that the moment an egg is fertilized that a life has started. Apart from my moral conviction, I also believe it is very unhealthy to interrupt a pregnancy. Therefore I will not make mention of them in this article. However, keep in mind that most hormonal methods would pose some risk to an embryo if an unexpected pregnancy were to occur.

I am not promoting one of these methods over another. The best idea is to pray about which option is right for you and keep in mind that God may lead you and your husband the change methods over time. God surprised me with some of the things He told me when I prayed about the options so I’m really glad I took the time to ask Him.

Educate yourself extensively on the methods you are considering so that you can make a well informed decision. You can not always go by what other women have experience as our bodies can respond differently to the hormonal methods and we all have different preferences, but do take the time to talk to other women as well, if you can.

Hormonal Methods

Birth Control Pills ~ a pill is taken orally each day (sometimes with the option of skipping the week of your period) which you can get that either contains both estrogen and progesterone or progesterone only and primarily functions to keep a woman from ovulating.

Birth Control Patch ~ works similarly to birth control pills, but a patch is worn on the abdomen, buttocks or upper body rather than taking a pill daily. The patch is changed once a week and kept off the week of menstruation.

Depo-Provera ~ an injection of progestin that prevents ovulation in a similar way to the way progesterone would.

Mirena Intrauterine Device (IUD) ~ The Mirena IUD is different from other IUDs because it actually contains a hormone that is highly effective in preventing pregnancy as it blocks sperm from reaching your egg and makes the lining of your uterus thin (this may also result in benefits like less menstrual bleeding over time). Unlike other IUDs, this device is not primarily intended to keep a fertilized egg from implanting. For more details about Mirena, you can visit their website.

NuvaRing ~ it is inserted once a month for a three week duration. It contains estrogen and progestin which will result in preventing the ovaries from developing mature eggs. For more details about NuvaRing, you can visit their website.

Implants ~ no longer available. If you are currently using this method, you will need to consider your other options once it expires.

Barrier Methods

Male or Female Condom (option of adding spermicide for increased effectiveness) ~ a sheath is placed over the penis or in the vagina to contain the ejaculate and prevent sperm from remaining in the vagina.

Cervical Cap, Shield or Diaphragm (option of adding spermicide for increased effectiveness) ~ a dome-shaped device is used to cover the entrance to the cervix. Most of these methods require that the device be inserted hours before intercourse and remain in place for hours afterwards.

Contraceptive Sponge ~ the Today Sponge is primarily a barrier method, but also contains a spermicide.

Natural Methods

Fertility Awareness Method ~ charting your basal body temperature, cervical fluid and position of cervix, and typical menstrual cycling in order to prevent or encourage pregnancy. Abstinence or a barrier method is used on fertile days. A great reference for this method can be found in the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

Withdrawal ~ the man withdraws his penis just before ejaculating. Be aware that the pre-ejaculate liquid can contain semen and there can be a higher risk of failure in using this method, especially if the man is not fully committed to the method or if he is not well aware of his sexual function. i.e. he doesn’t know when he is about to ejaculate.

Breastfeeding ~ exclusive breastfeeding can help to prevent pregnancy if the baby is not receiving any formula and feeds every few hours, but does pose a higher risk of failure as some women will begin ovulating after only a few months even with exclusive breastfeeding. Thoroughly research and understand this method if you wish to incorporate it. You can also combine breastfeeding with the mini pill which contains progestin only.

No effort made to prevent pregnancy ~ continuing with usual sexual involvement without any attempt to avert conception.

Total Abstinence ~ refraining from intercourse completely (not a method I recommend in marriage under normal circumstances).

Permanent Methods

Vasectomy (Male sterilization) ~ Cutting, tying or sealing the vas in a male’s testicles so that sperm can not transfer through the penis with the ejaculate.

Tubal Ligation (Female sterilization) ~ Severing and sealing a woman’s fallopian tube so that the egg and sperm can not meet, thereby preventing conception.

Essure System (Female sterilization) ~ a metallic implant is inserted in the woman’s fallopian tube resulting in scarring that blocks the tube, again, preventing conception.

43 Comments

  1. Does anyone know if coconut oil is a safe lubricant for lifestyles skyn condoms? They are made of polyisoprene, not latex…I’ve done several google searches and haven’t turned up anything that tells me if coconut oil is ok or not.

  2. Sorry, I’m posting all over the place, but from what I can tell, it’s looks like coconut oil is a no-go with the polyisoprene condoms too. I’m pretty bummed about that, because we just started using coconut oil and love it! SO…does anyone know of another natural lube that’s ok? Or if you have experience with the polyisoprene condoms, what lube do you suggest?

  3. I believe you can use coconut oil with non latex condoms (such a durex avanti) as the oil only damages latex.

  4. illiciumverum, have you had any experience with this? Thanks!

    • Have not myself used these in combination but I used to teach classroom sex & relationships education & my background is in nursing which is how I know. I said “I believe” though becuase its always important to check exactly what the condom is made of before combining with anything oil based.

  5. Not to sound like a dummy, but I thought I’d add that breast feeding isn’t a very good “birth control” method… I Breast feed my 8 mouth old daughter exclusively; my husband and I had a little condom accident and BOOM! I’m pregnant again. Due in July…
    It seems God wants me to have another baby!

    • For some women it works really well for a long time with exclusive breastfeeding, but there really is no way to know for sure if you have started ovulating or not until you have your first postpartum period. It really can’t be relied on too heavily for this reason, but it does help to a certain extent.
      Given that you are pregnant after exclusive breastfeeding and using condoms, I would agree that this baby is indeed a blessing from the Lord :D Congrats Lemon Zest!

      • The breastfeeding plan shouldn’t be thought of as birth control. I always breastfed and lucky me I got my period back between 2-3 months postpartum all nine times. Our first two girls are 2 weeks short of a year apart. I never got my period between the 2 pregnancies. They’re all blessings from God :)

    • everyone’s body is different! i exclusively breastfed my daughter, she was nursing every 2 hours, and still got my period 4 weeks after she was born! i was really looking forward to not having a period for a while…

  6. Funny you should mention God’s sovereignty over birth control. My DH and I have been blessed to conceive our four daughters, ALL while on birth control! Our first was a condom baby, the second was the mini-pill (I was breastfeeding), the third was the nuvaring, and the fourth again was a condom….
    Apparently God wanted us to have our four little angels and we wouldn’t change a thing! :-) We are trying birth control again, but God’s plans for us are bigger than we can see. So we’ll see what He has in store for us this time, trusting Him for what He know is best!

  7. Happy New Year Everyone!! Just discovered this morning another Natural Family Planning site called “Christian Family Planning”(.com I think) They have just recently launched. 26 yrs. ago my wife and I went thru the Couple To Couple League’s course on NFP. Being linked to the Catholic Church which we had left earlier, it was our only link to NFP. We didn’t agree w/ the abstenience part in phase 2, but most of the time used condoms or withdrawl. Plus phase 2 was always the horneyest part of her cycle.
    I think this form has many advantages for those who especially want to be in tune with their bodies. It also helps the husband become “one” with his wife and makes him responsible too for her fertility. It does require some homework to learn, but the intimacy is well worth it. We were 100% successful w/ this system(for what it is worth). Blessings To All in 2010!!!

  8. Update to this post — the implant device came back to market this past year – it’s called Implanon. It’s hormonal, placed under the skin in the arm, lasts about 3 years, I think.

  9. i’m wondering if anyone has any experience with the today sponge? my husband and i have no health insurance so birth control through a doctor is not an option, but we both HATE condoms. i’m a little apprehensive about inserting the sponge. do they ever get lost or lodged in place? can you feel it and does it interfere with love making?

    • I am sorry about the no insurance bit. That is hard. I want to echo hisbabe on the diaphragm bit though. It is VERY nice, and so much better than a condom. We do use spermicide with my diaphragm right now, b/c we are trying very hard to NOT conceive right now. (Therefore we have the expense of the spermicide every sexual encounter, but it is not much–usually just under a dollar each time.) I have never gotten pregnant while using the diaphragm without spermicide, mind you, but with three kids age three and under, we don’t feel ready to add to the quiver quite yet, so we are taking the full precautions. :-)

      I would also encourage you to learn FAM, because it would give you about half to two thirds of your cycle per month that you could skip using a diaphragm, condom, sponge, etc… REALLY nice. And there is quite a freedom to bareback sex that you are reasonably sure will not lead to pregnancy.

    • I have not actually used a sponge, but it is larger than both a diaphragm and an Instead menstrual cup (see the resources section of this site), so, no, it should not get lost in your body. Like learning how to use a tampon, there will be a learning curve. :-) If you decide to go this route, you may want to do a “dry run” so that you figure out how to insert/remove the sponge without dealing with the emotions of sex on top of it!

      As far as I know, the primary function of a Sponge is spermicidal, not barrier. So you might consider the pregnancy rates of just using a spermicide, really. I have not done a bunch of research on sponges v. just spermicide, but if this is the route you are considering, it would be more comfortable to use a spermicidal “Vaginal Contraceptive Film” (looks like a dissolving breath mint strip) or an applicator filled with spermicide (inserted with an applicator like a tampon, then you push the plunger in, so the spermicide goes in your vagina, then you remove the applicator). While I have rarely just used spermicide, my mom did for a good ten years, and never had an surprise pregnancies.

    • Yep. They’re not hard to use. It goes up against your cervix, and there’s a little string/tab thingy on it to help you pull it out. It doesn’t interfere with LM, but you do have to leave it in for some hours afterward to make sure that the spermicide in it kills off all of his swimmers. So it can be an issue of forgetting to take it out, which could be potentially dangerous(infections, TSS). Also, my doc. told me that it is most effective when used along with some other form of birth control, (condom or diaphragm) lol, therefore defeating your original purpose. It kinda takes a lot of the spontaneity out of LM.
      I thought that the extra BC wasn’t necessary, which resulted in sweet baby number three! :-) Haha. So my advise; listen to the doc., he/she knows what they’re talking about!
      Also make sure that your lady parts don’t react negatively to spermicides, as it must stay inside of you for a while and this is the main component of the sponge.
      I hope with whatever you decide, everything works out well for you!

      • not to scare you with the BC thing, but we actually switched back between the nuvaring and the sponge.. so there’s a teeny bit of question to this day as to which one failed us! :)

    • thanks everyone – the info is really helpful! the main thing that made me nervous was the website said it could come apart and leave pieces behind. it doesn’t really sound like it’s for me. one day i’ll probably try to get the diaphram. i’ve used the film strips before and forgotten about them – i’ll have to try to find them again. i track my ovulation so that we only actually use a condom for a week and a half each month, but that time that we do have to use a condom hubby usually likes for me to finish first and then use my hand on him. we’re not very furtile anyway (it took us 4 years to get pregnant the first time and 2 years the second) but all it takes is one time right?

  10. I use a Diaphragm. A Dr. has to prescribe it, but you only have a one time fee! It will not cost you money through out the year! It will last several years if you take good care of it! I use spermicide with it and it last a long time! My DH and I have no problems with feeling it during intercourse! Best of luck!

  11. i wish my husband were brave enough to go get a vasectomy. that would take care of it all


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