Q&A: Cunnilingus 101

“I need a step by step manual on how to perform cunnilingus. My husband is enthusiastic but as clueless as I am. I read the article written on it on this site and found it rather vague. He’s very intelligent but he needs “something more detailed than just that? ” Someone at TMB had suggested getting the book “she comes first”, but for reasons of location it’s impossible for me. I only recently am managing to overcome hang-ups I’ve had about it so if we’re going to do it I’d rather he did it right, or not at all. It’s mortifying having to endure having him there and gaining nothing from it. Would really appreciate any further suggestions as to how to get things running smoothly. What I mean is – is it possible to paste the manual up here? That way he can always have access to it easily.”

For some strange reason, I think that people automatically assume (or expect) that men know how to give cunnilingus.  It’s common for women to read up on how to give fellatio, but we don’t really expect to hear about men wanting information too.  We need to realize that men are not born with the exact knowledge of how to please us orally.  They need information too!  I’m going to try and share some tips and techniques with all of you couples out there on giving good cunnilingus.  Let me give just a minor warning that this article will be full of detailed information on giving oral sex to wives.

Cunnilingus is good whenever the wife is wet.  If she isn’t wet enough with her own secretions, then the couple can use coconut oil or another lube of their choosing, or the husband can use his saliva.  Just make sure that the entire area is lubed up.  The husband’s mouth and fingers need to be able to ‘glide’ around her intimate parts.

The wife and husband both need to be in a comfortable position.  It helps to have the wife’s legs spread far apart, to give her husband easy access.

When he is ready to get down to business, then it’s a good idea for him to spread her outer labia apart with one (or both) hands.  That will help him to see and navigate her better.  Her lips will be out of the way so that his tongue can have free range!

From here I’ll give you some examples of specific techniques to try.  Not all women will like every one of these suggestions, so the best way to find out is to just ask her straight up.  Ladies, if you need to print this out and put a check by the paragraphs that you like, then do it!

When starting out, it helps to go slowly and lick and kiss all around the vulva area.  You can even suck one of her outer labia lips into your mouth and run your tongue around on it.  All of these sensations feel good for her!

Lick around the vaginal opening.  If you pull down lightly on the skin/labia, while you still have them spread, you will see the vaginal opening towards the bottom.  Run your tongue around the entrance and caress her gently with your gliding motions.  She may like circular motions or a light licking motion across the entire opening.

Probe her vagina with your tongue.  Stick it in as far as you can, without hurting yourself (yes, you can overextend your tongue).  See if you can replicate the thrusting motions that you normally do with your penis.   After every few thrusts, bring your tongue up to her clitoris for a couple of licks, and then resume your probing.  This can be very erotic for some women.

Run your tongue up and down the entire length of her inner labia on both sides.  Give a little diversity by varying the speed and pressure in which you are licking.  Use the tip of your tongue and then use the full width of your tongue.  Make sure that you are grazing over her clitoris during this process too.  You can also include her perineum area (her ‘taint’) that is between her vagina and anus.  She will delight in the sensations that you bring to her entire garden!

Apply indirect pressure to her clitoris by circling all around it with your tongue.  You may need to stop holding her labia lips open for this part.  Some women, who can’t take direct pressure, respond better to indirect pressure.  When you are holding apart her labia lips, you are making the clitoris more pronounced, and it could possibly be too much.  (Ask her and see.)

Apply direct pressure by continuing to hold her labia lips open, and licking directly on her clitoris.  (It will feel like a little pebble at the top of her vulva, near her pubic mons.  For more info on the clitoris, click here.)  Try making quick, flicking motions on her clitoris with your tongue, up and down or back and forth.  You can also change it up and move your tongue in small circles around her clitoris, first clockwise and then counterclockwise.

Another really nice thing to try is to suck her clitoris into your mouth and then gently suck on it as you would her nipple.  As you are sucking on it you can use your tongue on it at the same time.  You can also try to hum with her clitoris in your mouth, to give her some vibrations to enjoy!

When you are devoting your mouth and tongue to her clitoris, you can also incorporate your fingers during this time by fingering her vagina.  You can use one or two fingers, lightly thrusting.  You will help to stimulate the g-spot if you bend your fingers gently into a “come here” motion while inside her.  You can also use the “corkscrew” method, by crossing your index and middle finger and inserting them that way.

You can easily add rimming or anal attentions to oral sex if you two are into that sort of thing.  Finger cots and lube make it easy to graze or rub lightly over the anus while your tongue is busy up top.  There are many nerve endings at the entrance to the anus and many women are surprised to find out how stimulating that area can be.

Ladies, it is your responsibility to give him feedback and let him know if what he is doing is working!  If he tries something that doesn’t work for you, then tell him that!  If he tries something that feels wonderful, then communicate that to him as well and ask him to keep on doing it!  If you are too shy to speak up, then make up some non-verbal cues that you can use together, like… If you tap him on the arm or shoulder then it means you need something different because what he is doing isn’t working.  If you touch him on the top of his head or play with his hair, then you want him to continue doing exactly what he’s doing because it feels great!  If you grab his head and pull him into you, then you are telling him that you want more pressure.

I hope this article was helpful, and as always I’m sure our readers will also chime in with other tips and tricks that work for them.   The woman who wrote in asked for a step-by-step manual for her husband.  I hope that I’ve helped, by giving  some tips and techniques, however I feel the need to remind our men readers that we are moderating men’s comments even harder now.  We will not publish any comment that is too detailed or descriptive or that simply isn’t helpful to our women readers.

52 Comments

  1. I enjoy performing oral sex on my wife, but she is hesitant to enjoy it because she feels it can lead to yeast infections. Do you have any suggestions? Are dental dams effective and enjoyable?

  2. I have heard other women complain that oral sex has led to yeast infections for them as well. This is unfortunate. I do not have any personal experience with dental dams but maybe someone else reading this has some advice regarding them. If I had this specific problem, I would talk to my gynecologist about it and see what she recommended.

  3. Coming from someone who was pretty wary about oral sex in the beginning of our marriage, my advice is to keep at it. It might take time, but with persistent practice your guy will get better, and you will become more comfortable with oral sex and telling him what works and what doesn’t. The rewards for both of you will be worth it.

    Thanks so much for the detailed guide. It’s nice to have some new things to try.

  4. Never underestimate the importance of your local library. There are many books in there concerning women’s health issues, and I find that as I continue to read up, this has the potential to increase the quality of your intimate time.

  5. I don’t know anything about yeast infections and oral sex, but I used to have frequent infections before I got married and was quite ill. So I did a 6 week long fast from almost any carbohydrates at all. I think I was eating about 8 net carbs a day. 4 weeks into it, I had my last bad infection ever. I think it was like my body purging the last of the overpopukated yeast. Then after about 6 weeks of no-carb, I added in carbs very very slowly over the next few months. I started this in september, and by Thanksgiving, I ate a few potatoes and bread and some dessert.
    then I was worried that all those carbs would make the yeast flare up again, but it never did.
    The diet was not fun and my energy levels were pretty low when I did it, but I haven’t had any problems with yeast since then…. (Oh, and we do cunninglus. But I always wash really well, and wear cotton underwear, and that probably helps, too)

    So, if your wife has a severe problem with yeast infections, then she should look into some sort of diet. You might could take care of yeast without as severe a diet as I did…

  6. God bless you Cumin girl.

  7. Thnks for this one! My DH and I have always enjoyed oral, but I usually cut it short when he is giving just because I get turned on and want to have PIV sex. Well last night I decided to let him go as long as he wanted. OMG!!! My orgasms were so intense and long that afer 15 min I finally had to stop to catch my breath, literally. It really got him going too, because he didn’t last long after switching from oral.
    Thanks for the reminder of just how good it can be. :)

  8. I was never able to orgasm with oral sex until my husband read “She Comes First.” I need to have penetration and clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, so he uses his tongue on my clitoris and his fingers in my vagina and it works every time! So long to the hours of licking with no result.

  9. I’m going to send this article to my hubby. He doesn’t do much of this for me (not as much as I do it for him, that’s for sure!) and I would like him to. What better way than to give him a mini-guide to give him a little nudge….. :) Once again, thanks for a great source for the married woman! I can’t wait to see what the next posting is about!

  10. Hi I am a newlywed and my husband recently asked me if I wanted him to give me oral sex. I feel too self conscious that he might not like how it looks or tastes or smells “down there”. I think I would probably really love it but it makes me nervous! Do you girls shave or wax down there for your husband? Any thoughts from more “experienced” wives out there? thank you so much!

  11. There are lots of benefits to shaving. It’s cleaner during menstruation and there are benefits in bed with not only oral sex, but with vaginal too.
    We have an article on it here:
    http://christiannymphos.org/2007/12/26/pubic-shaving-for-women/

    You could try starting out by making sure you are fresh from the shower or even let him give you oral in the shower. Then you know you will be clean.

    It’s normal to be a bit nervous as you embark on this journey of growing in sexual intimacy and exploration together.

  12. I am new to shaving regularely (Have shaved in the past almost 8 years of marriage just for something special or different until 2 months ago I decided to keep it shaved) and from very early on in the marriage DH would give me oral sex. He was happy to be there even if I wasn’t bare. I know I was a little self concsience, but he always Loved it! In fact I have to say I didn’t even enjoy it till about 6 months ago when I finally “let go” and now wow =) I totally would just “endure” it for him cause I knew he liked doing it. I would say showering probably helps you relax and not worry so much. Stressing out during oral can REALLY take away so I think do whatever makes you feel good about it and comfortable.

  13. I started shaving after reading about it on here, and was REALLY nervous wondering what my man would think. But hubby loved it so I kept it up. I hinted that now he could ‘kiss me down there more’ (and he took the hint).
    But for awhile it was just a little kissing. It was a couple months before we did full O.S. though – we just kinda eased into it slowly – I don’t think I’d have been comfortable having an orgasm with oral at first, but that’s changed :D
    Even now though, sometimes I can’t stand how it feels (i get in ticklish moods :D ). Then again, sometimes I love it. I just try to let him know what feels good at the moment :D

  14. MrsM,
    2 cents from an “older expierenced wife”.
    I used to feel the same way about OS when we were first married. It took awhile to actually be comfortable with it,but it was well worth overcoming any fears :) I do prefer to shave and my DH likes that too. Just do whatever you need to to feel comfortable, relax and enjoy!

  15. I don’t shave or wax, but I do like to stay “well groomed” down there. :) I take care of the bikini line only every three or four days, because it tends to get irritated if I try more often, and I keep hair trimmed really short. I like it that way, because it looks nicer, stays cleaner (IMO), and allows me to feel more because everything is closer to the skin!

  16. Thank you everyone! I think I might give shaving a try…and let my husband find out and see what happens from there :)

  17. I use Nair, I tried waxing once and i broke out in what looked like 60 zits all over my bikini area thank goodness i didnt get a brazilian, but it was painful and not worth it. Try Nair, I used the in shower kind just try no to get it in your vagina or on your clitoris. but get down your labiaeven where you cant see. You may be really impressed with how much sensation all the hair covers up!

  18. A yeast infection is usually caused by fluctuations in pH which allow yeast to grow. Sometimes this comes from foods a woman eats, clothing that is too tight (like pantyhose), not changing underwear often enough, or a natural change in the body that gives the yeast opportunity. This can also come from bacteria in the husband’s mouth, or if he has just eaten, the sugars from his food (gross, I know).

    Simple, effective ways to prevent/combat this are to wear loose clothing/no underwear to bed, cotton underwear during the day, and maintain hygiene. Another very effective way to help prevent infections is by eating yogurt daily. The active cultures in yogurt help keep more ‘good bacteria’ in the vagina, and it is an easy way to keep your body healthier in general. Finally, in order to prevent urinary tract infections and yeast infections, it is important for the wife to urinate after any sexual contact.

    Hope this helps!

  19. Often times, the day after sex I feel itchy but only on one lip side *blush* tmi… Is that a yeast infection or just itchiness? Washing with baking soda usually gets rid of it immediately.

  20. Well, whatever it is, it sounds like you have found a good, natural solution. Could be yeast?

  21. I absolutely LOVE it when my husband goes does on me! He can do ANYthing down there as far as I am concerned and the More the Better! Along those lines I have wanted him to make love to me, orgasm in me, and then go down on me. To me this is VERY Hot! This happened recently though it was not a full orgasm on his part, I know he leaked a lot inside me and all over me I could see it. It was the hardest I had ever orgasmed without anal. So has anyone found themselves into this? Do others want it? Do you just blurt it out to your mate? I have so many Qs…

  22. For my husband’s bday one year, I got a brazilian- ALL hair gone! The pain was pretty crazy, but I will say DEFINITELY worth it! After our first time together, I realized I actually got it for ME, not him! The sensations on bare skin are AMAZING! He loves it, too. I shave on my own now and get a brazilian about once a year to “start from scratch” again. Oh, go do it, girls! It is worth it!

  23. Funny you wrote this today; I got my first (maybe last, LOL) Brazilian today. Hubby is OOT so I thought I’d surprise him, plus, he’d have to stay away from me for a couple days any way (ouch!) so the timing was good. I can imagine that it’s gonna be worth it even tho’ it hurt like crazy!

  24. During the first month of marriage my husband did oral on me twice, and though I enjoyed it thoroughly I told him that I didn’t due to embarassment. I was naive and didn’t know that people did that. Now after 4 years I want him to do oral on me again really badly- he has a couple times, but he doesn’t like it and says that he’s very uncomfortable with it. I’ve given him oral several times as well, but he says that it tickles and he’d rather me not go there. I’ve expressed that I actually enjoy it and hunger for it both ways, but he always trys to change the subject. Any ideas?

  25. Loren,
    Have you told your husband that you actually did enjoy receiving oral earlier in your marriage and that you lied to him b/c you felt embarrassed? Have you asked him to forgive you for lying to him? This may not be what you want to hear, but when you told him you did not like his giving you oral, he may have felt rejected by you, and that’s sometimes hard for a man to get over. He may be afraid to “stick his neck out” again (forgive the pun) for fear that you may change your mind and reject him again.
    As a newlywed, I too was naive, and I had misconstrued ideas of what “good girls” did in bed and what “bad girls” did in bed. For this reason, I also rejected several of my husband’s attempts to try new things. I didn’t want my husband to think I was a “bad girl”. Thankfully, God did a work in me, and after 16 years of marriage, I now know that it’s perfectly OK to be my husband’s “bad girl” in bed. Convincing my husband that this change in me is genuine has taken a considerable amount of time and effort. He’s had to see for himself that I’m not going to get his hopes up and then crush them again. He’s had to do things at his own pace. Meanwhile, God has given me patience while He healed my husband’s wounded ego.
    Don’t give up. Don’t try to pressure your man into anything he’s not ready for. If he’s not ready for you to give him oral, ask him what he wants from you. Let him know that you’re ready to give freely to him b/c you love him and you love making love to him. If you don’t shave everything down there, consider it. Don’t be afraid to touch yourself to see what brings you pleasure, then, in the heat of the moment, offer to show him. In every area of life, not just the bedroom, show your man that you are completely committed to him. And you want to make this life you share with him the most pleasurable experience ever for both you and him.
    In addition to this site, there are some great ideas at the following site as well:
    http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/problem/desire/turn-him-on.shtml
    Good luck, and God bless!!!

  26. We tried coconut oil today for the first time. I used it for a hand job / oral on my man. We loved it! What cracked me up though was that when I brought it into the bedroom he looked at me and said, “did you get this idea from your naughty website.” He was referring to Christian Nymphos. He loves that I read all the articles to get new ideas!

  27. I have found that using Tucks to clean up before oral sex makes me feel cleaner and after keeps me from getting itchy. Although he’s always been willing to try anything on me it took research for me to get comfortable with all of it. Thanks Cumingirl and all of the CN staff for this site. It has changed my life in wonderful ways.

  28. As soon as I read the first part of this forum to my husband, “I need a step by step manual on how to perform cunnilingus”, his response was, “Lick the alphabet in capital letters.” Apparently he heard this as a kid from the comedian Sam Kineston and has done this to me several times. I of course had no idea he was drawing letters with his tongue on me as I was too preoccupied with the sensation! Anyway, there’s an idea for your hubbies to try!

  29. I can identify with those women who are afraid of how they will look, smell, taste to their DH during oral. For us, it was really my DH who was afraid it was dirty or would taste weird…so we eased into it. We covered my body with a silky robe, like you would a blanket, and he pleasured me through it. Then, as we both felt more comfortable, we eased the robe out of the way until we one day we got rid of it (except for sometimes, because the different sensation is really nice). I recommend it to anyone who is interested in oral but afraid.

  30. When my husband goes down on me it’s terrible. I lie there awkwardly and silent while he gets embarrassed and frustrated. He doesn’t seem to understand where my clitoris is, but at the same time he doesn’t want me to give him directions like, “up higher,” “to the left a little,” “ow,” “that’s my pee-hole.” he says that if i am talking that way that means i am not “in the moment” so how can i possibly enjoy it? it’s on the tip of my tongue to say “well, how can i possibly enjoy it if you don’t know where my clitoris is,” but his pride is already so hurt by the fact that i do not have orgasms with him and refuse to fake it.

    the only talking he thinks is okay during sex is dirty talk, but i feel like we don’t even have the basics down of getting me turned on… i am not relaxed, comfortable, or lubricated at all… and talking dirty is not something i want to do when i am not actually enjoying myself.

    i’m so frustrated and so is he. all the conversations i have tried to have with him about it have only divided us – made him contentious and defensive, no matter how sensitive and delicate i am.

    he would rather hold onto the idea of himself as a naturally good lover than open his mind to learning new techniques and receiving feedback from me. he talks all the time about how i “hate sex” but i don’t… i’m just nerve-wracked, tense and dry because this has become such an issue between us. and i do not want to use lube. i’m in my 20s and i know i can get plenty wet when turned on. if we start using lube, that will just be license for him to have sex with me for as long as he wants whether or not i enjoy it.

    any advice? should i just go ahead and get a divorce? i’m pregnant so it’s not really an option… but i can’t believe we signed ourselves up for a lifetime together of miserable fighting instead of delightful orgasms.

  31. Have you approached with him the aspect of him wanting to just be a naturally good lover and how that robs you of being able to enjoy your love making? Have you been specific with him about how important it is to you that he become humble and teachable in the bedroom. It’s really an issue of pride. If you have exhausted your conversations where you try to be sensitive, maybe it’s time to me a little more open and honest about it without worrying about his pride since that seems to be where the problem lies. I don’t normally recommend that, but you might want to pray about that option. So, no I don’t think this is grounds for divorce, but he really does need to get to a place where you can correct him and he will receive it.

  32. I am so sorry that you are having this difficulty in your marriage. I know it is very frustrating and discouraging for you and your husband. Your first course of action should be regular and fervent prayer, asking God to bring open communication and sexual joy to your marriage. God can really work miracles in marriages, but I know it’s hard to see that when you are in the midst of a problem. Do you have one or two Christian friends who could also be praying with you about this? I am praying regularly for my sister’s marriage, and will pray for you when I pray for her. Would it be possible for you and your husband to talk with a Christian counselor? Sometimes just a few sessions with a counselor can really open up the lines of communication. A Christian counselor is ideal, but if that isn’t an option, a regular marriage counselor can help too. And one more thought – could you and your husband take turns being the one who “gets” what he/she wants sexually, just for a few times? That way he could have a turn to tell you exactly what he likes and wants to do, and then the next time would be your turn to tell him and the two of you would do what you want to do. That way both of you would be learning about and serving the other person. Just a thought.

  33. I appreciate your feedback – both of you. I am actually not a Christian although I used to be. I still find this website helpful, however, and the feedback you both gave made me feel less alone. I will try your ideas out… I really wish we could see a sex counselor to help us open up the lines of communication, but that’s a financial impossibility for us.

    Last night I found a message board topic on cunnilingus where women were weighing in on what they liked and disliked. I emailed him the link with the point that – see? There are so many women who like opposite things. Every woman is unique sexually. And I also entreated him to stop implying that I am a lesbian because I visibly don’t enjoy sex with him. There is a problem in the bedroom of trust – I don’t feel that he truly wants to please me more than he wants to feel like a born Casanova – and if I know I am going to be criticized if it doesn’t go well – accused of hating sex and of being a lesbian – then how can I open up and relax and communicate? He sent me an email back that was nice but very vague – he did not respond specifically to any of the points I made. I know I have hurt his feelings by not faking pleasure but faking pleasure goes against everything I believe in as a feminist, as someone with self-esteem, as someone who would like to genuinely connect with her partner.

    Ugh. I am not going to give up. At this point I am ready to say No more sex until I feel comfortable with it. Maybe we should start over again at making out and work our way back toward sex. Neither of us is enjoying it at this point – me because he does not know how to touch me, him because of the grimace on my face when we do it.

    This is terrible. I just got depressed all over again. Ugh, sorry. Thank you for your response and support.

  34. For yeast infections, taking probiotics and grapefruit seed (not grapeseed) extract will get rid of the extra yeast in the body. It really works wonders. I did not even have to use yeast creams.

  35. I agree with you that it is hot. I love when my husband goes down on me after has an orgasm in me. I approached him with the snowball idea, but he is willing to try a little. Soon as I heard about it, it turned me on. He is not as turned on about it as I am, but maybe he will be.

  36. Oh ladies.. I put off getting a Brazilian for years because I decided it was too porno and degrading. After almost 20 years of marriage I now am enjoying a much higher level of sexual pleasure and my DH LOVES it! If you are concerned about the cost of having it done in a salon you can do it yourself at home. I discovered a process called “sugaring” for hair removal by veiwing various videos on the web about it. I only went to a salon twice and now maintain it by “sugaring” at home. It takes some practice but the results are worth it. Blessings to you all and be FREE..I LOVE THIS SITE!

  37. I’ll be praying. I’m sorry to hear there is confusion and frustration regarding how you and your DH view sex. While you may not be a Christian, a pastor or church staff member may be able to help you get a clearer perspective on sex and intimacy within marriage. Plus it’s free :).

    If you must hold off on sex, I do advise you to keep the time period as brief as possible. He needs sexual release just as much as you need emotional release. I hope this can be resolved soon. Again, praying. *Hugs*

  38. I mix a little Witch Hazel with warm water in a squirt bottle and cleanse my area after any type of sex. I haven’t had a yeast infection in years.

  39. This is an old post, so I don’t know how many people will see this. I need some advice though. We have played around with OS for a little over a year now. I haven’t been real keen on either receiving or giving, but I’m in the midst of my awaking! My hubby likes both. I am working on giving because I know he wants me to and I want to as well. And I don’t hate that he goes down on me. Sorry if this is TMI: he likes the taste up until the time I come. He doesn’t like that taste, and I can’t stand the smell on him if it’s gotten on his mouth. Is there anything that we can do to improve my smell/taste? I’m all clean when we start and that part doesn’t bother either of us. It is only the ejaculation that neither of us can stand. Thanks for any and all help!

  40. I have a major concern, I have hear a lot about oral sex and cancer — throat cancer to be specific. My husband loves oral sex, it’s okay but my main concern is the cancer that it can cause, does this not concern anyone of you? To me that’s a major concern and very much a deterrent for me to the point I have no desire at all to do it for my husband, and it’s not that I don’t want to please my husband its just that we have had a lot of different types of cancers in our family and frankly I don’t want it because they have all died from cancer and it’s a horrible death.

  41. It is my understanding that this only happens in the presence of the HPV virus. This is on the rise in teens because many teens are having oral sex with multiple partners (because OS isn’t really sex, right? :roll: ) and are spreading the HPV virus around. The more sexual partners you have had the higher your risk for this virus, and if you have this virus then it raises your risk for developing throat cancer. From what I have read, if you are in a committed marriage and neither of you have HPV then oral sex is okay.

  42. That’s my understanding also. If you do a Google or Yahoo search on oral sex and cancer, all of the articles talk about HPV. I have not heard of any risk for partners in a committed marriage who do not have HPV.

  43. Doesn’t hurt to be squeaky clean down there before going down either ;).

  44. I’ve heard that eating pineapple and other fruits, as opposed to protein and grease saturated food help the taste of both male and female ejaculation. The healthier the diet, the better taste. Or at least healthier in the few hours before sex. I’ve also heard that vegetarian dieters have the “best.”

  45. LOL! Funny!

  46. you may just want to have her sleep in the nude or go commando sometimes… i’ve never had a yeast infection and have tended to attribute it to keeping myself aired out. Prolonged moisture can breed nasty bacteria, and of course she should always PEE and WASH after sexual encounters. Preventive measures are typically the best treatment. I have gotten bladder infections the first months of my marriage until i learned the pee thing.

  47. I realize you’re in a sticky situation having married a man that seems to be a bit insecure and extremely stubborn. Perhaps these methods will help you get around that wall he is trying to build.

    well, i know the best way my husband has learned to please me has been by watching me masturbate, or me spontaneously guiding his hands during make-out sessions. Make your ‘lesson’ sexy and enjoyable… try putting on a show for him where you masturbate. (this of course may take some bravery, i’m still nervous about these kinds of play) As you get more into it, use verbal cues like ‘i want you to touch me here’. it ends up sounding more like a plea than a lecture that way, and then becomes a double turn-on.

    And while i realize you don’t want a blank check for sex handed to your husband… don’t be afraid to use lube. Hear me out. Past negative emotions on sexual encounters with him will leave you turned off keeping you from getting wet. Many types of stimuli will feel terrible when done dry, and everything is much better when wet. You may accidentally discover that by some miracle he was doing at least one thing right. And of course using lube by no means gives him unlimited sex, you can decline at any time. If you decide to give that a try i would recommend Wet brand lube. Not too expensive, feels completely natural, and can be picked up anywhere from Wal-Mart to Walgreens.

    And of course, if he ever comes across something he is doing right, sexy it up with a verbal yes or moan.

  48. How to do cunnilingus is a special science to learn. I agree with all the comments above, but there are some more details that might be considered when doing cunnilingus. One of the best things that you can do for a start is to pace her tempo and be very gentle with your tongue… Try, and watch miracle happen ;)

  49. Something to think about too is that men are very visual. Shaving allows for more to be felt and seen.

  50. I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I found myself more and more turned on by the idea that DH was not only tasting me but also himself. At first I was a bit manipulative. Instead of just telling him what I wanted I would initiate a transition from PIV to OS. Then declare it was my turn to receive. The whole time i was just waiting for what I wanted. Finally I felt horrible and just told him what I found highly arousing. I was shocked when he didn’t freak out. We have got to learn to communicate and trust! Now it’s a treat for me when he will finish first and then “clean me up”. I firmly believe no wife should hide what turns her on from her spouse.

  51. Sinclair Institute has some sex ed videos that are helpful & seem to fit Christian morals as well, but they also sell some objectional material so beware.

  52. I would also like to say that the instructions by CuminGirl are very well done & appreciated.


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