Sex Survey

We originally saw this survey on The Marriage Bed Forum (see link to TMB in blogroll) and while we do have it on our blog in the comment section of one of our articles it didn’t have it’s own article until now.

The questionnaire below can be filled out and shared with your spouse on an evening away. You can also fill out the answers trade sheets and spend the next few weeks surprising each other. The key is to get talking often simple things are hard to reveal. Some questions use the code at the top of each section, some questions are fill in the blank ,some leave you a place to check your choice and some give you a place to write. Remember the more open and secure we can be with each other the stronger our relationship and the better the sex. Why are you waiting get going!!!

Passion
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ share my fantasies with my partner
I ____ to have sex ___ daily, ___ 2x week, ___ 3x week, ___ 1x week, ___ never stop
I ____ being ravished
I ____ sex in the ___morning, ___afternoon, ___evening best
I ____ to find my partner naked ready for sex
I need to have more sex ___yes, ___ no
I need less sex than my spouse ___often, ___sometimes, ___ never
When my spouse rubs, massages my ______ I want sex instantly
My partner’s satisfaction is just as important as mine __always , __sometimes, __never
I am turned on when my spouse tells me they love me by ___________
I have a lot of fantasies __yes __no
I feel comfortable sharing my fantasies with my spouse ___ yes, ___no

Foreplay
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ it really slow and erotic with lots of touching
I ____ to give my spouse massages
I ____ to shower with my spouse
I ____ to see my spouse partially clothed
I ____ my nipples pinched massaged squeezed
I ____ to watch my spouse masturbate
I ____ to masturbate
I ____ to mutually masturbate with my spouse
I ____ when my spouse offers themselves to me

Clothes
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ it when my partner tells me they are not wearing underwear
I ____ my partner to wear something I can tear off them
I ____ my partner to dress scantly
I ____ to see my spouse in a thong
I ____ exposing parts of my body to attract attention
I ____ my spouse to wear a skirt with crotch less panties / hose

Positions
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ the missionary position
I ____ to be on the bottom
I ____ to 69
I ____ the woman on top facing away
I ____ to be on top
I ____ anal sex
I ____ it Doggy style
I ____ side by side

Places
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ sex in the shower
I ____ sex on the dining room table
I ____ sex on the kitchen counter
I ____ sex in an office
I ____ sex in the living room
I ____ sex in cars or vans
I ____ sex outdoors
I ____ sex in the pool
I ____ sex in the hot tub

Talk
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ my spouse to make noise during sex
I ____ talking dirty to my spouse
I ____ to make my spouse yell out with passion during sex
I ____ it when my spouse uses short phrases like YES, Faster, Harder, repeatedly
I ____ it when my spouse tells me to _____ them now

I climax stronger and faster when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned off when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned on when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned off when my spouse use clinical terms ___ yes, ___ no

Acts
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ to finger my spouse to orgasm
I ____ to be fingered to orgasm
I ____ giving oral sex
I ____ receiving oral sex
I ____ my spouse to perform oral sex without my asking

Misc
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ to skinny dip
I ____ to use a vibrator
I ____ to use lube
I ____ to eat ____ fruit off your naked body
I can’t stand it when the dog or cat is watching us have sex ___ yes, ___ no
My favorite thing you wear to tell me you want sex is _______
My favorite food to play with during sex is __________
I like sex best when we ___________
The best time we had sex was __________

9 Comments

  1. Okay, now what?

    This survey is awesome and just filling out my answers, giving them, and handing over the blank form transformed my heart and my attitude. At that moment I took all my insecurities and fear and resentment and deliberately shattered them into smithereens, only to watch the peices gather themselves together in the next moment into a beautifully powerful dose of rightness (not rightiousness – but the sweetness and depth of that breath you take after a really perfect rainstorm). Ah.

    So we both have the survey filled out and I’m excited to see how we agree on so many things. And that we both desire to hear more from the other. And that we both have more that we want to say. We can’t keep passing notes, can we!!? I’ve sort of knocked his socks off this past week and I don’t want to push too hard for more face to face conversation or for more information. I am aware that I have an all-or-nothing personality and so now that the lid is off, I want to pull all the monkeys out of the barrel and explore all of them – NOW! (okay so maybe that’s not the right metaphor – please help me if you know the right one). How do I make myself take this slow?

  2. I know where you are coming from. For many of us, when that sexual awakening hits, it happens over night. Read this article. It will give you some direction and help you see that you really are not alone.

  3. Big sigh.
    Thank you.
    One. Step. At. A. Time.

  4. Hey onehotmama,
    I agree with Cinnamonsticks.

    Been at this particular game in my life for a little over a year now and have learnt a ton about myself…strangely enough, my husband is still pretty much the same although a whole lot more connected to me than he was.
    Advice…read, read, read. I have spent the past year educating myself out of my asexual mindset into my, 180 degree turn around, sexual mindset. Simply embracing your sexual side, now, is not enough for you to truly change your old habits and form new ones. It takes patience and a whole lot of soul searching to truly delve into your new-found maturity as a woman.
    My greatest impact upon myself has been to fall in love with myself for who I am and not who I tried to be. Sounds a bit complicated but the more I opened myself to feel, the more I realized I had never really felt what I wanted to because I was so conformed to the will of my past influences; from my childhood through my rebirth as a Christ follower and up.
    Whatever you do, try hard not to load your husband with the task of developing you. Impossible and unfair. Give him, and yourself, outrageous sex but respect yourself enough to grow yourself and not burden him with having to be your ALL.
    Welcome to our nympho club, lady ;-)

  5. “Whatever you do, try hard not to load your husband with the task of developing you. Impossible and unfair. Give him, and yourself, outrageous sex but respect yourself enough to grow yourself and not burden him with having to be your ALL.”

    Great advice. I think I’ll write this down and frame it and hang it around my neck like a 3rd grader with a house key!

  6. I copied and pasted this survey into a new document, labeled it “One-ness Questionnaire”, and put pretty font headings on it. I also added a suggestion I saw on a Monday’s Mission that we add “ML and MNL” for “Might Like” and “Might Not Like” to the options, and printed this on pretty pre-printed romantic paper. Took three pages, as I had it set up.

    We had fun filling this out. We have just over nine years of sexual experience now, and have learned lots–I am sure some of our answers would have been different even five years ago. :-)

    I think another question should be added: after “I ____ it long, slow, romantic,” which, of course, most of us women will be like, YEAH, there should also be a “I ____ it hot, heavy, and fast” There IS a place for quickies, and they are fun. Just not every time! The questionnaire should reflect that too!

  7. Cool survey and thank you for posting! Working up the nerve to copy/paste/print and share with my hubby. Not to be a downer, but you may want to change that to hot “tub,” rather than “tube.” Other than that, love it! =)

  8. Thanks coco! I fixed the typo… we had just copied and pasted from TMB (with permission) and didn’t catch that!

  9. I need to fill this out! Need to work up the courage to print it and give it to Hubby. Thanks for posting this!


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