How To Seduce Your Husband

I got to thinking the other day of ways that wives can seduce their husbands. Of course, every man is different so what works for one man may not do so much for another, but I thought it would be good for us to share our ideas of how we draw our husbands into sexual chemistry. For many men timing is very important. You may do something that normally would really excite them, but if you pick the wrong time it doesn’t get you the results you were looking for. The other factor is that some men are living as sexual refusers so drawing them into a physical encounter with you is extremely difficult, but under normal circumstances where a husband and wife are sacrificially loving one another there are lots of fun and exciting ways to seduce your husband.

The first thing that comes to mind for me is how we dress. Again, different men like different things, but as you go through your life with your husband he is going to give you cues as to what he likes. For example, my husband has mentioned how much he like to see me wearing black. Specifically, black lingerie. So, when we are getting ready for a date night guess what color I always consider. It doesn’t mean I am limited to only wearing black, but since I know he likes it, that is what I often pick. Listen for if your husband comments on how you wear your hair or a scent you wear or a certain outfit. Does he like you in jeans? Skirts, long or short? A certain neckline? What body parts does he like and what outfits do you have that will accentuate those parts for him? In short, use the physical attributes that God gave you which your husband likes to seduce him.

Another aspect to seduction is the words we say. What parts of his body turn you on? Tell him about it. If it feels more natural and relational to use words other than “penis” or “vagina” then by all means, go ahead and use that spicy language. Just make sure that you both feel comfortable with whatever words you use or slang words can ruin the mood for your spouse. Use phone calls and text messages to tell him what you want to do to him or what you want him to do to you. Whisper it in his ear at an opportune moment, but pick a moment when he can’t do anything about it right away.

The other part of seduction that I will mention is what we do. We have discussed so many of the options on our blog, but here is a list of options. Some of them are going to be exciting for you, some of them won’t be. You don’t have to do them all. Just pick the ones you like.

  • Mention that you are not wearing panties when you are headed out for a date.
  • Pick a saucy song and do a little strip tease.
  • Wear something like this when you meet him somewhere, with nothing underneath. Of course, you can make it look more modest while you are out.
  • Get something started while you are out if you can find a private spot. Even if you can’t go all the way, you can do other things, like manual sex at the movies.
  • Take some sexy pictures of yourself.
  • Have fun making some “messy love.”
  • Try seeing if you can fulfill one of his fantasies.

There are so many options for acting seductively. Please add your own in the comment section.

Our attempts to seduce our husbands are going make them feel desired, loved and affirmed as men. That is why it is important to be intentional about pursuing them, especially if your husband tends to be the one who always initiates. So start studying him and see what his preferences are. Use what he likes to invite him to enjoy your sexuality.

30 Comments

  1. Those are great ideas!! :D

  2. fun ideas :)

    i don’t ever go commando right now (sorry, too icky being pregnant :D ) but sometimes I’ll wear something perfectly normal and beneath there’s something really sexy (I don’t have many thongs, so those are always ‘special’). When hubby gets home from work and hugs me – always first thing – I’ll guide his hand to where he can discover my little secret – and that drives him crazy :)

    I also like to touch him suggestively and then walk away very nonchalantly – preferably I’ll do it several times while he’s busy working on homework or such. heehee :)

  3. As much as I like the fact of seducing my husband, I would like to mention this: What about our husbands seducing us?? Much emphasis is put on us doing this or that to please him, which I am not opposed to. However, the advice is flawed if you don’t look at the bigger picture. Your blog is geared toward “marriage,” which includes BOTH individuals in the relationship. What about him dressing up for me for a change? Not saying that you are wrong in no way; we are all entitled to our opinion. Still, with reference to the name of the blog, a nympho can be a male or female, and married sex involves BOTH parties.

    I like your blog, but find it a bit one-sided in its content: I noticed that you have something for Women’s Issues but I see nothing for Men’s Issues, which are just as important.

    We women spend lots of time adjusting ourselves for our mates, however, God intends for BOTH involved to adjust for each other in order to have a perfected (not perfect) marriage. I love it when my husband does things for me to seduce me such as taking out the trash (yes, that’s sexy to me. A man handling his home properly), when he makes dinner when I’m unable to, when he writes me poetry (and not copying what someone else wrote) just because there was a pen and paper in the house, when he ministers to the needs of someone out on the street… these things and more seduce me because they all show the nature and character of my man and how much he loves the Lord and the people God created.

    No offense, just my opinion.

  4. The target audience of our blog is actually not men and that is why it appears one sided to you. While we recognize that men often can use the information here in their own marriages, our primary focus is not on speaking to men. Our blog primarily exists to minister to and fellowship with women, which you will notice is mentioned on our homepage. We are not at all opposed to men discovering ways to seduce their wives. It’s a very important part of the marriage relationship. What you would find on our website if we had an article about men seducing their wives would be an article entitled something to the effect of “How to get your husband to bring more sexual chemistry.” We want to empower women to be good lovers to their husbands and if that involves being seduced by them we want to teach women how to ask for what they want and need.

    Hopefully this brings some clarity to you.

  5. I like to “flash” my husband from time to time. I make sure that the kids are not around (I have 2 daughters ages 6 and 8) . We like to take a bath or shower together and soap each other up. That always helps.:-) also we like to get naked and cuddle and watch a favorite tv show or a movie. My kids like to spend the night at their grandparent’s house now and then. Believe me, my hubby and I take FULL advantage of that! :-)

    It’s all about noticing opportunities and taking them. Even if it’s just a quickie, it’s better than no sex at all, imo.

    somehow a smiley face was put where I didn’t intend on putting it, lol. the “we” I am referring to is my husband and I. Sometimes on a message board if things aren’t phrased just right it can end up looking like something it’s not if you catch my drift. :-)

  6. Thank you so much for all your encouragement! My husband and I have been married almost 11 months now and are still actively pursuing one another… and its great! One of our favorite ways of seducing and loving each other is writing each other notes. I leave for work after he does so I leave him a note, sometimes just letting him know why I love him so much, sharing a verse, a cheesy pick up line or something a little more spicy to get his mind going. Then he will reply over his lunch hour so that I get it when I come home. There are many different ways to do this to. Occasionally we text or call and leave a message for each other just to let them know we are thinking about them. Or sometimes sneaking a note or picture into each others wallets or onto the grocery list. It is so much fun to be reminded of our love for each other in many ways every day!

  7. abtisme, HA! That was funny. ;)

  8. cinnamonsticks, It’s a real shame some of these people are missing what you are trying to say. I surprised my husband the other day with some Astrea vibrating panties. He couldn’t wait to try it out on me. For those of you unaware of these, it comes with a sexy lace panty with a little pocket in your girlie goodie area (I found out that several pairs of my panties have this pocket. The thing the turned him on was the fact that it has a wireless remote which HE gets to hang on to. I haven’t used it yet but we are going out of town this weekend without kids for the 1st time in many years and he is so excited about using this new toy. A fantasy of his is to watch me play with myself until I have an orgasm. So I plan on tying him to the arm chair in the hotel room and teasing him by playing with myself with and without toys. He is SUPER excited about this. This will be the first time I have masturbated in front of him. I’ve been practicing and going through it in my head so it should be super sexy!

    Sorry, I forgot to say that there is a vibrating bullet that slips into the pocket on the panties. That’s what the remote control is for.

  9. I am finding our Wii to be one of the easiest ways to seduce my husband. Play boxing in something really tiny or go topless….

  10. Great idea!! Thank you!

  11. i love to tease … i love black lingerie, and white actually. stockings are very good too :)

    one trick i love is flirting with hubby but then pretending like he is coming onto me …

    soooooo you flip your hair or accidentally let him catch you dressing or topless or whatever … but then if he looks at you you pretend total innocence and act like he is chasing you …

    the old … “he chased me and chased me until i caught him” trick …

  12. awesome ideas! :) i yhink I will try some of these :P

  13. My husband and I played strip Wii bowling one night. If someone got a strike the other person had to take an item of clothing off. He kicked my butt (that was the first time he had beat me!) and he loved every minute! Let me just tell you about the sex we had after… Oh man! ;)

  14. I agree.

  15. What we need to talk about is all the failed attempts of seduction because thats what I’m experiencing! LOL One night he was sick, then he was too tired. The kids didn’t get to bed on time. He decided to play with the kids immediately instead of coming in the house to see me. Random things like that! Luckily he hasn’t caught me in my feeble attempts. My ideas haven’t been ruined by him knowing about them and I haven’t felt like a goof.

  16. SashaBear, don’t give up! I have def had those awkward, dissapointing, failed seduction attempts! Lot’s of kids and a very busy life will do that! But I also have had very successful attempts. ;-) Keep trying, it’ll be totally worth it when It actually works!

  17. I hear you on that. I get self-conscious too, and part of that stems from the fact that my husband was a refuser for about the first half of our marriage! But I bet that if your husband did know about your failed attempts he wouldn’t think bad (or goofy) of you! And erin4him is right, the successful attempts will give you confidence to not feel so self-conscious when you “fail” ! Plus, I think it does a relationship good to be able to laugh at yourself, and laugh with eachother (sometimes) during lovemaking-or attempted lovemaking, lol. :) :)

  18. Sounds mildly like you let him win that time. Easy to understand why if thats true.

  19. K, so I know this is sooo corny, but It can really take DH by surprise if it’s out of the blue. :-D Try putting on a skirt with nothing underneath, then catch DH when he’s sitting down at the computer, or sofa, whatever. Ask him if he minds you sitting on his lap for a minute and suggest that maybe the two of you can just talk about “the first thing that comes up.” ;-) Then casually allow him to notice that there are no undies under your skirt.
    I know it’s soooo cheesy, but lots of giggly fun can come of it!

  20. Take your tiniest thongs and put them in a SMALL non-see-through container (or small non see-through plastic bag) and slip it into his briefcase. And then, just as he leaves home for work, wink at him and tell him there is somehting in his laptop-bag / briefcase that belongs to you and {darn} – now you will have to go commando all day, but you dont mind, because when he gets home, he can return them.
    Just the fact that my hubby knew my sexy underwear was in his office made him text me the whole day… telling me what he wants to do with me that evening!
    Try it!

  21. My husband is an introvert. After working with people all day, helping with supper and getting the kids to bed, he likes a little time to decompress. I, on the other hand, crave his attention. Although he appreciates when I wear lingerie, or let him know I’m wearing a skirt with no panties underneath, he feels like I’m asking something from him, asking for more attention. So the other night I just gave him some time, and let him play a game on the computer. Every few minutes or so I walked by and softly spoke in his ear, telling him that I appreciated what a good father he was, or that I love how he pitches in around the house, or how wonderful he smells. Something short and sweet and then I’d walk away. This filled a few of his needs. One, it let him know that I was thinking of him even though I was doing other things. Two, it let him know how much I love and appreciate him. Three, because I was so casual and undemanding it gave him the space he needed. He soon impatiently closed his computer game and came after me! It wasn’t sexually explicit seduction, but it was exactly the kind he needed.

  22. Licorice you bring up an excellent point about a man’s individual needs. Our guys love making love but in addition to Affection they also need the other two As, Appreciation and Admiration. Giving your guy space and whisperinsg such sweet things to him in a non-demanding way meets those needs.

    I like to make sure the house is tidy when H gets home because part of his transition from work to home includes relaxing in a clean home and having no pressure put on him to do anything other than put up his feet, have some dinner and relax. Recognizing and honoring that is a part of seduction. I have teased him that where for some guys a perfume gets them going, for him it’s the smell of Pine Sol ;-)

  23. Thank you for the great reminders! I find it works well to start with a suggestive text message just as he’s on his way home. It seems to get his head going in the right direction (ahem, both of them ;-).

  24. I really like what you said here! my husband is an introvert and I am an extreme extrovert. We have been married for almost two months (two months tomorrow!!) and we have discovered that we need to work on communicating our desires clearly because otherwise feelings get hurt (usually mine lol) or frustration happens. Understanding what my husband needs (alone time or its ok to be a lil more demanding of his time) has seemed to really make things a lot smoother.

  25. Thank you so much for posting these suggestions! I’ve been married now for two years. Sex has NEVER been a comfortable subject for me. I didn’t know what was appropriate for married couples. I ask my mom about a lot of things but there are just some areas I don’t want to know about her and my step dad lol! The last couple of days I’ve tried out a couple of your ideas and I was suprised and please with how my husband reacted to me stepping out but mostly how I didn’t feel “dirty” during or after the fact. I felt sexy and beautiful and good about it. As a matter of fact, he was disappointed when I told him I had to work tonight;) I AM NOT ASHAMED!!!! WOOHOO!

  26. Thanks so much for all these ideas.I had really got a problem telling him any thing because i thout he would think its me who loves him most instead of it being a balanced relationship but all the same one of us has to pull it and keep going.

  27. My husband has crohns disease so he is rarely in the mood for sex, and it seems like when he is in the mood I’m having my period, which is a time that is uncomfortable for him to have sex with me. We’ve only been 10 months, and haven’t experienced much sex during our marriage because of his disease. He’s been feeling better lately so I think I am going to try a few of these tips. I’ve been rejected a lot in this relationship with him being so sick all the time, so I’m hoping these ideas will come out more naturally in me. Thanks for your comments. :)

  28. I love it when he comes home sore and tired. I make him lie in bed while I give him a massage. After a while I stop and just lie next to him, holding his hand. The love-making after that is so slow and gentle…beautiful and sweet. Definitely works like a charm for me!

  29. My husband likes short skirts and heels. I actully like to wear them alot so its fun to dress for him. It took several years to figure this out. I wear tight jeans and heels on the weekends. Sex is great again.

  30. It’s all about what you can’t see for him. If I flash a bit of lace from my bra or panties it gets him going wondering about what he gets to fully uncover later. My hubby is turned on my black as well. But also reds and purples. Thongs are a must.


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