Touching Yourself

Orgasm… It’s a wonderful euphoric feeling. It’s a high. It’s a stress reducer. It’s also something that can be learned. Masturbation for women can serve several purposes:

  1. It can give a good quick orgasm when one is needed.
  2. It can rev up your sex drive.
  3. It can help you learn how to orgasm more easily with your husband.

So, how should you do it? Women masturbate in different ways. Some like humping or grinding themselves up against something such as a pillow or edge of a mattress. This can be beneficial to making love. If you can bring yourself to orgasm by this method (hands free), then the woman on top position may be for you! Women who like to be on top while making love say that they like to move around and grind their clitoris against their husband’s pubic bone or flexed abdominal muscles. They can bring themselves to orgasm better this way instead of just pumping up and down on his penis.

Then there is the hands on method. If you can bring yourself to orgasm using your own hand and fingers, then you will be more likely to orgasm by your husband’s touch. You will be able to teach him how to touch you the way your body likes it. Set aside some alone time and practice. Explore yourself and see what feels good. Not sure how to get started? I have some tips.

Make sure that you have plenty of alone time where there will be no interruptions and distractions. Get naked and get comfortable! You may prefer a hot bath or the bed. If you do not self lubricate well, then have a bottle of lube on hand. Sitting in front of a mirror can also be erotic and help put you in the mood. Pick a comfortable position and start touching yourself in all your erogenous zones. You know what feels good to you. If it helps, stick your fingers in your mouth and get them wet. Then trace them over your body, your neck, your nipples, your thighs, all the while imagining that it is your husband’s tongue. When you make it to your vulva, open your legs wide. Lick your fingers again or apply lube if needed. You want your fingers to be able to glide smoothly. Rub all around your vulva, from top to bottom, grazing over your clitoris from time to time. Tease yourself. Let it build. If you want to, then use your other hand to insert a couple of fingers into your vagina at the same time. (A toy can also be used.) This will help to provide g-spot stimulation at the same time. If you like anal play, then lube up your back side and allow your fingers to caress that as well. Some women like gentle caressing while others like penetration of the anus.

When you can’t wait any longer, focus your attentions on your clitoris. Do what feels good for you. If you like direct stimulation, then go for it! You can use the palm of your hand or the tips of your fingers. Back and forth or around in circles. Gentle touches or firmer pressure. Increase your pace while you imagine your husband watching, or helping, or making love to you. If it helps talk dirty to yourself out loud or in your mind. Say those things that you love to hear. Say the things that help to send you over the top. Sometimes really deep breathing or even holding your breath can help to put you over the top. When you orgasm, do what feels natural. If you need to move around, then do so! If you need to scream or moan or say something, then let go and say it! Ride the waves as they spasm throughout your body. Keep going until you can’t take it anymore. Some women can have multiples by continuing to apply pressure to the clitoris after the first orgasm. (Peppermint Girl wrote a nice two-part article on Multiple Orgasms.) Just do what feels good for you. Afterwards, enjoy your come down time.

There are many different variables to consider when touching yourself. Each woman is different. Masturbating is a very safe and totally natural way to learn how your body responds to touch. It can help a woman learn how to reach orgasm more easily with her husband. Doing it regularly can also really increase your sex drive. It will make you feel more sexual and your body will become accustomed to having frequent orgasms. In turn you will want sex with your husband more…and he will be a happy man! I’d love to hear from you ladies out there. Is there a great position that you have found that you like to masturbate in? Do you incorporate toys into your playtime? Do you include your husband in your masturbating sessions or give him a show?  Timid and inexperienced women need to hear from those of us who have suggestions and advise to lend. Please feel free to leave comments!

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