Our Melons

Surely you don’t think I’m here to talk about food do you? It doesn’t matter if yours are watermelons or cantaloupes, we all have breasts. There are differing views out there about breasts though. I have met a couple people in my lifetime who believe that breasts are for feeding babies. That’s it, nothing more. I, however, couldn’t disagree more. Look how the author describes his wife in the Song of Solomon:

3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.

7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.

8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,

In the early years of our marriage, my husband loved my jugs. He was and still is, a boob man. He wanted to touch them as often as possible and suck on them during sex. There was only one problem. I got nothing from it. I didn’t see what his fascination was with them. I mean, I’d had them all my life. They weren’t that big a deal, right? He got so much more out of breast play than I did. I enjoyed sex with him immensely, but when he would devote attention to the twins, I’d just let him get his feel, and then we’d move on.

Fast forward to me hitting my thirties. Something strange happened. I went through a kind of sexual awakening. My breasts kind of woke up. I started having feelings and sensations that I had not felt before. It actually sent little shocks through me when he would take one into his mouth! Was this what I had been missing for years? I started thinking more sexual thoughts about my own body around this time. Instead of wearing the same old white cotton bra that I was so accustomed to, I started to branch out. I bought sexier ones. My attitude about my breasts changed, and my husband noticed.

Now when we make love, I get something out of breast play too! My husband is so glad. He mentioned this to me a few months back. He said that he can tell such a difference with me. He will now suck on one of my nipples and look up to see my eyes closed, my head tilted back, and pure ecstasy written on my face. He knows that now he can do one of his favorite things in the world, and that I am right there, in the moment, enjoying it too.


His Kiss

The American Heritage Dictionary defines a kiss as:

v. kissed, kiss·ing, kiss·es

  1. To touch or caress with the lips as an expression of affection, greeting, respect, or amorousness.

Kissing! What a fun topic to discuss! Do your husband’s lips send you into overdrive? Can you become aroused just by closing your eyes and imagining him kissing you? Ya know, I haven’t really given it a lot of thought, until yesterday.

My husband is sick right now. Major head cold. That did not stop him from asking me for some lovin’ yesterday though! He didn’t feel good but he was still kind of “in the mood” and he asked for a quickie. I said yes, but we didn’t do any kissing or any foreplay. Well, I gave him oral sex, but no other foreplay. We ended up making love with him taking me from behind. There was no kissing at all. Even though it was good sex, I really missed feeling his lips on me. He didn’t want to give me any of his germs, so he kept his face away from mine. I felt like something was missing the whole time. Have I been taking his kisses for granted?

His lips. His wonderful lips. Soft and moist on my skin. How wonderful it feels. A touch here, a nibble there, and one by one, my worries seem to melt away. His warm breath on my skin is calming to me. It helps me relax in his arms. It creates a euphoric feeling inside me, where I feel loved and cared for.

I wish every stressful day would end with his kisses. But more times than I care to admit, I get busy. Busy with the kids and homework, and packing lunches for the next day. Busy catching up on laundry and cleaning the kitchen. I’m going to make it a point to kiss him more, to let him know that his kisses are important to me. To let him see how my body reacts to his lips on mine. Whether it’s a quick “Honey I’m home” kiss or a seductive good night kiss, I want my kisses to speak to him the way his do to me.


What can I do to initiate sex?

I have a really hard time initiating sex. I grew up thinking (and this is a misconception, btw) is that it isn’t ladylike to initiate. Where did I get that idea? Who knows? Maybe from all the Harelquin Romance novels I read where you get romanced and swept off your feet? Maybe from all the soap operas I watched for 10 years or so?

It is completely acceptable to initiate sex with your husband. And one thing that I learned from all of this, HE LOVES IT! It is a huge turn on for him! He doesn’t feel like he has to do all the work when it comes to intercourse. It has been a very hard thing for me to learn to do because it makes me step outside my 40 something comfort zone. THAT IS HARD! In all the books I read as an older teen/young 20’s woman, the man romances the pants off the woman, so what in the world could I do to change that in my life?

If you need an idea, I once gave my husband an all over massage. Get some massage oil of your choice, some lotion or even some coconut oil (yes, I said coconut oil!) and get him stripped down on the bed. Get naked yourself. The only rule…..he is not allowed to touch ANYTHING on you until you say so! Start with him on his stomach and slowly massage away all the tension in his shoulders, back, lower back, butt and legs. Use oil liberally. If his legs are spread when you are working on his legs, run your tongue over the boys to drive him wild. When he flips over, start back at his shoulder and chest area and down his abdomen….purposefully saving his manhood for later and massage all around that area and his legs. If he is really enjoying his massage, you will see evidence there by now! Run your tongue up his shaft. If you have some flavored lube, some caramel or chocolate, whipped cream, you might want to add it and take in the delight of his erection. Drive him wild…all the while, he cannot touch you until you are ready for intercourse with him…..or just finish him off in your mouth….whatever you choose.

Yes, I am taking baby steps in my journey to overcome the fear and intimidation of rejection or not pleasing him when I initiate….he is so appreciative when I go out of my way to do something for him to enhance the intimacy in our marriage bed.

aka nutmeg nympho

Dirty Words in the Bedroom

This is a topic that I have found a great variety of preferences on. For the most part, I think that couples prefer not to use the same words in bed that they use with their doctors, but where they draw the line in what sort of language they will use is a very personal choice which can be influenced by a variety of things. For some, hearing an expletive in bed reminds them too much of a culture they are trying to be separate from. For others, using passionate, descriptive language is a key to intense arousal.

Please understand that I am a person who very rarely cusses and many of my friends would be shocked to know the words I like using in bed. In my bed, no word is off limits because my husband and I have built our relationship on trust and respect so when my husband tells me exactly what he thinks and feels sexually, using any words at all to describe it, there is absolutely no hesitation on my part. Because I know my husband loves me and isn’t saying it with any disrespect in his heart, I find dirty talk to be erotic. We don’t use these words out of context so there is no confusion. If we walked around telling people to f-off or calling people derogatory names based on different body parts I probably would feel differently, but since we use these words in their context and only in our bedroom I have found them to be a wonderful spice to incorporate.

If you want to start using dirty words and haven’t yet, start with something slightly more edgy than you usually say and see how it feels. If you are normally quiet during sex, start saying some of the things you are thinking and what you want your husband to do to you. If you normally say “Do you want to make love tonight?” try “I am so hot for you right now, I really want you in me.” Not every word will feel right all the time, but variety is the spice of life. Start small and see what the two of you end up liking. Everyone has different limits on what they are comfortable hearing and saying in bed so just try it out and see how it works for you as a couple.

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