Anal play is a popular thing in many marriages.You don’t have to have full-blown anal sex to enjoy back door play.Some women know from a young age, that they like stimulation in that area.Others may have no clue until they get married and an “accident” happens… and then “Oooooooo, that was kind of nice!” 😆
Anal play includes many things.One of the best things is your husband’s fingers!He can lube up his finger and use it to caress you either around that area or directly on the anus itself.There are many nerve endings located there, so it’s understandable that women can get some wonderful sensations from caressing that area.This can also be used to heighten oral sex and intercourse.If you are curious as to whether or not you would enjoy this, then the next time you are on top of your husband during sex, ask him if he’d reach around and caress you there. If he wants to, he can wear a finger cot. Or, the next time you are masturbating, caress yourself there, and see how it feels to you.If you like it, you could also try inserting a finger and see what kind of sensations that gives you.
Okay, so what are some pointers? Well, first off, if you and your husband have decided to try some anal play, please make sure that he has his fingernails trimmed nice and short. Trust me on that one. If you don’t make enough natural lube, then have some extra lube (or coconut oil) readily available. A lubed finger feels so much better down there. Make sure that you shower beforehand and are clean. That needs no explanation. Remember to never re-insert anything back into the vagina, after it has been in the rectum. And finally, if you aren’t sure about incorporating this into your sex life, or if you are just shy about trying it out the first time with your husband, then try it on yourself first. You can try different things and see what you do and do not like. (Trying some anal stimulation while in the bath is a great idea!) Then when you talk to your husband about it, you will already have an idea of what you want and like.
You may even decide that you’d like to try rimming sometime.(Don’t look so shocked!)Although some people may find it gross, others will tell you “Don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it!”I am well aware that some people are not into anal play. You and your husband will need to talk about it and decide if this is something you are both comfortable trying. In the mean time, I think I’ll write my next article about adding toys to your play!
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Christian Nymphos 
My husband and I began a little anal play of late thanks to your inspiration cumingirl. Recently we tried something that made me more of a moaner then i thought i was… I used a vibe on myself while my husband performed doggie(this is the only way i can O during doggie) he inserted his well lubed finger in my anus right at the moment of my climax and my whole body shook while i gave a bit of a shriek and a looong moan…. he jus left it there during my orgasm and untill he finished… thanks again girls!
Does the word “Sodomy” or Sodomite mean anything to you?
Look up the definition.
You’ve defiled your marriage bed if you are involved in this.
Our understanding of Sodomy can be read at the article here.
Anal sex is something that my husband and I have enjoyed together for quite some time now. This is the first – and only – marriage both of us, but neither of us were virgins when we met. Having anal sex was something that neither of us had considered before in past relationships so being able to share that together was almost like a second virginity. It’s brought us closer together as a married couple and we enjoy a very regular and satisfying sex life that often includes anal play and anal sex. Thank you so much for this website!! I found another website that claims to be based off Christian belief, and while i’m not saying that it’s NOT since I don’t know who the author(s) are, a lot of what they had to say gave me the creeps!! However, this site is so well written and comes off well-informed and unbiased which I appreciate so much!! God bless you!!
i am having some difficulty in my marriage, and sex seems to be the only way my husband and i can connect anymore. we tried anal a few months ago and that is usually the way we end, and i actually really enjoy it. he told me last night that he feels like it is a sin and therefore doesnt want to do it anymore. im really worried that it might be something else, and that our sex life will come to a stop- leading us to have no connection whatsoever. can anybody offer some advice? thank you very much.
my husband mentioned anal sex a long time ago but I said no mostly because I was concerned about the “ouch” factor. I want to spice things up a bit now so I might drop some hints tonight about it. I don’t think he’ll be against it considering the fact that he was the one to ask me about it. 🙂
If two people are in a married and committed relationship with EACH OTHER and are not involved with anyone else then what is the harm in experimenting? I do believe that the reason this site was made was to help Christian women not feel guilty for experimenting with their husbands. We as Christians are made to feel guilty for a great many things, why should we be made to feel guilty for wanting to please our husband? Bieng in the missionary position for 50 more years makes me want to yawn and fall asleep. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to spice up my sex life with my hubby and not feel guilty about it one bit!
my husband mentioned anal sex a long time ago but I said no mostly because I was concerned about the “ouch” factor. I want to spice things up a bit now so I might drop some hints tonight about it. I don’t think he’ll be against it considering the fact that he was the one to ask me about it.
I have recently brought up the idea of Anal Play with my wife, but she doesn’t seem very open to the idea because of the “Gross” factor. Any suggestions about getting her to open up a little bit? I have always been the one in the marriage that is open to new things, but she only seems to want to stick to the “Vanilla” sex.
There are a lot of options in between “vanilla sex” and anal play. A lot of women feel uncomfortable with anal sex/play for a variety of reasons and all of them legitimate. My suggestion would be to make her feel safe about trying new things by mentioning new ideas without pressuring her (which it sounds like you are doing). Also, try to accept that you are usually the one to come up with ideas without feeling bad about that, but feel free to also invite her to build on your ideas.
So, let’s say you come up with an idea to incorporate music into your bedroom romance. Ask her for song ideas and genres. If you want to plan a romantic getaway, ask her for location and dinner ideas. If you want to give her a body massage, ask her which areas of her body feel more sensual. And if an idea you suggest is met with resistance, ask her what her fears are about it and accept them. Then let her know that if she finds herself becoming curious about those things, that you would enjoy exploring it with her. Like example14 said, her husband mentioned it, she said no, but now she is becoming curious. If her husband had put a lot of pressure on her or made the act more important than his relationship to her, she would probably feel differently.
Hope that makes sense. Speaking for myself, I am far more likely to try a new idea if I feel like the act is not more important than me or pressured to respond a certain way.
maybe if she had a glove to do it with? (a disposable cleaning or medical glove?)
Thank you for you input, I appreciate it. Hopefully I am not being pushy with my wife when I try to suggest new things; I will ask her if she feels as though I am pressuring her. I am merely trying to explore new areas to spice things up a little.
This is something I prefer more as anal play or in addition. Anal sex does feel good to me but I like it more as an addition to intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, toy play, etc. For me to just bend over and take it – I’d rather his penis go in me vaginally. Do not get me wrong anal sex feels great but feels even better when included with other forms. Ex. There is little better orally then for your husband to be pleasuring you and slip a finger in back there. Or while in the heat of the moment making love have him doe likewise. Perhaps in the middle of masturbating letting a finger or two slip back there. I know for certain that when I am doing oral on him if I slip a finger there he goes ballistic! Speaking of my husband I have also discovered that anal on him brings about enormous orgasms from him so much so that I now regularly request this of him. It is amazing to be able to bring so much pleasure to my husband. Prior to this his ejaculations were good and not to far between but with the addition of anal sex he is as multiorgasmic as I am and his refractory period is shortened so we are able to make love very soon after his first or second ejaculation.
After a few weeks of reading this site I decided to offer my backside to my hubby to spice things up for Valentine’s Day. We had tried light anal play and I think it got my hubby all hot and bothered just to talk about it. Neverr did much for me. He would never insist on going all the way but would playfully ask for a little bit. I always thought I’d never do it, or maybe I would when I was older and desperate for some spice. Anyway, after reading this site my attitude changed from holding myself back from him to wanting to give myself in every way he wanted. So at my initiation we experimented and found that neither one just loved it. He said he could take it or leave it. I am glad that we tried it, and it is something we can do again if we want. I felt closer to him by giving myself to him that way.
Initially when the idea of anal sex was approached, I had the “ewww” response. However, one night it just kinda happened and let me tell you it was the most intense orgasm I have ever have. Several years later, I find I really enjoy this form of pleasure with my husband. To those considering, a couple of pointers…take it slow and use lots of lube (astroglide works great). This is unlike any other sex you have had. It requires a great deal of communication and patience with your spouse. Painful experiences come from hurrying and not enough lube. Also, being extraordinarily hot doesn’t hurt matters either. Like I said, I have had the most powerful orgasms ever this way….in combination with clittoral stimulation. Last thing, make sure that whatever you use for anal play or sex isn’t used in the vagina (unless it has been throughly cleaned).
My husband has been asking for anal play/anal intercourse for a long time. He has not been pushy about it, but I know that he would really like it. I have always considered it gross because my peers always threw out the “Ewwww Gross” response whenever this subject ever comes up. Neither one of us have ever had/done anal. He has ventured into that area on me while ML and to be honest, there have been times that I really enjoyed him massaging me with his finger while we were ML. The problem is that I cannot get past the mental road block of actually enjoying it and admitting to it (to my DH). I also know that he would like me to massage his anus while giving him a hand job, but again, I can’t bring myself to get past what other peoples opinions are of this. I know that his desire to have me touch him in that manner doesn’t make him gay, he is a very masculine guys’ guy. How do I get past these thoughts and just have an “awakening” as I hear of many of you talk about? Can any of you share your stories about the way that you felt about this type of subject before, compared to how you now feel about it? Thanks for your help…….YellowBird
My awakening occurred in response to one night when I was really, really hot. My hub started massaging my whole body with some massage oil and he happened to brush against my anus and my whole body throbbed. When that happened, I stated to realized that maybe there is a very pleasureable part of sex that I have discounted. So I started doing research and then one night things got slippery and he slipped in just a little and it felt so good. We tried a while later and went in a little futher, and so on and so on. The further he went in, the stronger the sensations got for me. I honestly don’t know that I had really orgasmed up to that point, but when he got all the way in and I massaged my clitoris, I think I orgasmed in like 2 minutes. The key with all this is communication. Many sites suggest that you try rubbing yourself in private to see if you like the sensation or not because every person is different. I understand where you are coming from with having a hard time confessing what you want, when you are feeling a littly kinky. It has taken me many years in my marriage to be comfortable saying exactly what I want. Some things I still feel dirty saying, so we have code words to allow me to say what I want. I hope this helps. Good luck!
One more thing, as with any anal play…even on the outside….use lube. You can get really sore if you don’t. Also, when I have played with my husband in that way during oral sex….he has the most powerful orgasms ever. Not always are we in the mood for it, but that is where communication comes in. Also, if your husband is massage your anus and you like it…you could just say, “mmm, that feels good.” I am sure that he will get the point without a whole lot of additional information. Good luck, again.
The last part that you mentioned is where I have a hard time. He has massaged my anus while he is touching my clitoris and yes, it does feel good, but I have a problem admitting to it and generally end up telling him to stop because of the “feeling dirty” aspect. My DH is pretty much open to anything, but I seem to have a hard time discussing what we both would like to do sexually. I’m hoping that at some point I can get beyond the embarassment portion so that we could be more sexually expressive and experiment. We have been married a little over 18 years and I am still having a hard time opening up. For instance, DH has asked me to masturbate for him, but I won’t do it because of feeling embarassed. I won’t even admit to him that I do have solo sessions from time to time. He has asked me and if I do and said that it would be a turn on for him to at least know that I do it, but I always so “No, I don’t do that.”
Hopefully by reading more of the posts and experiences on here, I will learn to let go of the inhibitions and not be ashamed to be more open. Thanks.
I have been with my husband for 13 years and married for 11 yrs. It has taken me until recently to start telling him what I want. My motivation to do so came from sexual frustration and I was hoping he would just know what I want without me telling him so. I guess you can see how absurd this sounds. Also, I felt dirty about those things too. Like you, I still don’t feel comfortable masterbating in front of him or even talking about it. I must say, when I did talk with him about my other desires though…I felt extremely liberated. Good luck!
Try Proverbs 5:18-19 and Song of Songs 7:6. It along with Genesis 2:24 kinda hits on the note that sex is meant to be enjoyable within the confines of marriage. Anything that is enjoyable…goes. Happy enjoying!
Sometimes it’s not as embarrassing to write things down for your DH to read in private as it is to actually say them face to face. Try writing your DH a note, nothing long, just telling him about your “solo sessions” and about how pleasurable you found his touching you “in two places at once.” I am still working up the nerve to masturbate for my DH, so I haven’t conquered all of my inhibitions yet, but I have learned that the more physical intimacy I share with my DH, the more emotional and spiritual intimacy we share as well. It is frightening to make yourself vulnerable to your spouse, but it sounds like your DH adores you, and would be so blessed by your “generosity” towards him. This may sound strange, but pray about it, and ask the Lord to bless you with boldness in this area. While you are praying, pray for me too!
I am so with you on being shy about discussing things! I too have been married 19 years and I am much better! I will say the last couple of years we have tried many new things and I have learned to enjoy much more. I finally have told him when I do masturbate on my own and he totally loves the idea. I bet your husband would too you ought to just tell him one time see what he does I bet you would be surprised. I am with you on masturbating for him I will touch myself sometimes with we are together having sex mostly for him because I know what a turn on it is but I have not done it solo with him watching man not sure I will ever get that brave. Maybe in another 10 years!!!!