Okay ladies, this one is on hand jobs. It’s fun to try and think of things we know our husbands will enjoy. Some of you may think Why would I need to learn how to do that? Well, to me the answer is simple: Variety!
Of course I love making love to my husband. But there are occasionally those times where it’s just not convenient. Some couples do not like making love during that time of the month. Some couples may be practicing NFP and would rather not have direct intercourse during ovulation days. Sometimes one of you may be feeling a little under the weather. There are several scenarios where intercourse just isn’t the best option for you at that time. So what happens if, during one of these scenarios, your husband is still in need? Maybe it’s been a while since he last came. Maybe he needs a release to help reduce stress. Don’t laugh girls 🙂 Sex and/or orgasm is a stress reducer for me as well!
The key to giving a good hand job is attitude. It’s all in how you think of it. If you go into it begrudgingly, then it will show. If you go into it with anticipation and an eagerness to serve him, he will notice that too. He will love you and appreciate you for your giving nature. So smile, and tell him that you can’t wait to see him coming! Nibble on him here or there if you want, to add to the sensations he’s experiencing. Talking dirty to him may also be a turn on.
So now lets get to the fun part! Make sure you are both in a comfortable position. Don’t feel like you have to start out hard and fast. Do what you know your husband likes. He may enjoy a little teasing in the beginning, or light touches. Then again, he may be already hard as a rock and just aching for you to take control and go!
A couple of things to consider. First off, many women are afraid to have a firm grip on their husband’s penis. They think they are going to hurt him. The truth is that many times, we aren’t holding him tight enough. In order for him to get enough sensation and feeling, we need to be sure that we are NOT holding him loosely. A good firm, lubed grasp is key. Secondly, remember that the most sensitive part on a man’s penis is on the underside of his head, or glans. It’s called his frenulum. It’s the part where his shaft meets his head. So when you are moving your hands up and down along his shaft, make sure that you are coming all the way up and including that area! Watch next time to see if your husband moans or twitches when your hand moves over his frenulum.
I found a really good website that not only tells you different techniques that you can use on your husband, but it SHOWS YOU! This is the only site that I know of that is “safe.” There is a woman who uses a suction cup dildo (attached to a table) to show you different things you can do for your husband. So we women can be educated visually, without pornography! You will want to make sure there aren’t any kids around though. Click here to view the hand job advice link. You can even get out your own toy and lube and practice while watching if you feel so inclined! I tried a couple of those ideas out on my husband, and he was very happy with me. I showed him the site, and he thought it was good that there was something like that out there for us married gals to learn from!
Just remember that your husband loves you. Don’t be afraid to try some new techniques. If one doesn’t work then you could always try another. I watched those videos, memorized three techniques, and then proceeded to use what I had learned on my hubby. One of the techniques didn’t do anything for him. In fact, we both started laughing in the process! But you know what? He was so touched that I had tried to research and learn about new and/or different ways of doing that for him. And it made me feel good knowing that I made him happy.
Special thanks to nutmegnympho for the pic of her hands and banana 🙂
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Christian Nymphos 
I tried many of those techniques on my husband as well and he was literally puddy in my hands. All I needed to bring was my coconut oil and a smile and he was good to go!!! Great article!!!
I can hardly wait to try these techniques on my husband. Only a few more months until he returns.
My wife and I learned all these techniques and more just through communicating and her willingness to serve. We started this when before BJs were for more than just birthdays (ha) and there were times she couldn’t have sex or what ever reason.
This is life changing pleasure. Marriage changing. And so simple. My wife is awesome and always looking for ways to make it better. Thank you thank you thank you
Thank you skator for offering your insight. I don’t believe in coincidences but “a God thing”. My husband sent me a link to this site a few months back and I totally disregarded it, not even taking the time to read any of it…I was so judgemental. But God’s timing in perfect! God brought me to a place that I could never have dreamed of. My husband was completely honest about what he needed, but my heart was judging his motives and I was being selfish. Well, something happened in me…the Lord working on me no doubt, about a month ago or so. I had a sexual awakening. A month or so later, my husband again fwd. something from this site and I WAS ALL OVER IT! Everything became so clear to me. We have always been sexually active…I love making love with my husband, but I had a whole new attitude toward sex, love, marriage and best of all my husband….the blinders had fallen off. A consequence of having a bad sexual relationship from a previous relationship in H.S. had affected me more than I even knew. My DH had told me a time or two in the last few years, one day, you really will trust me. I thought, what the heck is he talking about? He knew better than I that I had old baggage that I was dragging around and it was affecting my mind and holding me back…not able to enjoy all that the Lord had intended for me to enjoy with my husband.
I think it was that “thinking sex” article that just grabbed me more than anything else and caught my attention. For me it was more than just thinking about sex but a letting go and forgetting about some horrible past memories. I felt so convicted and told the Lord that I was willing to do anything to bring our marriage bed where it needed to be.
Well, when I read the above comment, I had to jump in with both feet so that maybe I could encourage someone out there that your heart and mind can be changed by the Lord and allow you to be set free from past experiences or memories that hold you back from being ALL that God intends you to be for your mate.
My husband is very pleased with my change in attitude re: blow jobs and hand jobs and I’m grateful that he could communicate those needs to me and that my heart and mind have been renewed so that I can fully please my “Adam”…for I am his “Eve”.
Not too long ago I was VERY shy with my body and have to say self conscious this was only maybe 4-6 months ago that I was like this. Hmmm about the timing I was invited to this site…. Anyways I started feeling more confident in myself. Much of the time I was praying that God show me what is right for our marriage because I don’t want to do anything that would dishonor God in our marriage. So many of the things that my DH liked or would like I didn’t feel comfortable doing. And as an answer to my prayers Christian Nymphos found my business which is the link through my handle and at first I was like read a little about them and was like that cool and blew it off (meaning REALLY reading their site) for about a month and one day I felt something just pushing me to read more into the site and there were so many questions that were getting answered! And since then my hubby and I’s sex life has been literally mind blowing for both of us… All my hubby can say now when we talk about it is wow the difference in me and the sex is AWESOME!!! The last time I felt this much for DH was about 14 years ago. We literally went back in time and we feel like “kids” again! So I also am for Gods timing and especially when we don’t fight it 😉 I pray that this is the new “mid-life crisis’s” that GOD invades marriages! heehee HE can do anything
Born Free was one of my favorite movies when I was a child. It is about a lion cub that was raised in captivity and then trained to re-enter the wild where she belonged.
I feel as if this movie epitomizes my sex life with my husband. We have been married for six months and are only now beginning to come into a healthy rhythm, thanks to this blog. As I grew up, I heard whisperings that sex was blessed within marriage. I could sometimes even say this out loud when prompted in a single-sex setting. But the fact is that I was raised in a “domesticated” environment built to yield tame lions that are predictable and safe for petting zoos. The result–6 months ago I entered into a sexual relationship with my husband where I was a willing but passive participant.
Reading you writing has given me concrete ways to begin a journey to becoming a more active participant in love-making with my husband. And in just two days, I’m finally feeling the freedom in which I was born to live–a freedom to love AND lust after my husband.
Thank you for allowing God to use you in this way.
So glad to hear that you are experiencing this with your DH! Isn’t our God AMAZING!!!
His blessings are new EVERY day!
I have not always been very talented at sex, probably because of the reasons you girls have mentioned (inhibition, etc.) Sometimes I went about it as work, like milking a cow or winding a clock. “I need to stroke this about 100 times, then I’m finished.” One day Mr Flavius gently told me, “Honey, I can do THAT for myself. I don’t need you to rub my [penis], I need you to LOVE my [penis]. You need to be into ME, or this just isn’t even enjoyable.”
Of course my feelings were hurt! (Hurt feelings are a great way to avoid responsibility. (ladies, be sure and try it!) But the truth is he was honest, and he was right.
A handjob is not just some household chore. It is a way to unite souls in sexual pleasure joy. If you give a handjob (versus intercourse) as a way to avoid sexual intimacy, he will sense it, and he will feel alone. He may as well be masturbating alone, wheere at least he could PRETEND some woman is “into him.”
Remember, never let an act of sex be like a household chore. That destroys intimacy. He does not need help removing semen from his balls. He needs love and affirmation and excitement, just the same as you.
Take this tip from an old lady who’s still a pretty good jerk-off girl!!
🙂
Hey Mrs Flavius,
You made me LOL at your ‘old lady who’s still a pretty good jerk-off girl’ 😉 In our text code that would make for an awesome row….OLWSAPGJOFFGRL.
Great attitude and I laughed at your man’s comments about his ‘rub’. Too funny. I find myself very task oriented and have to disconnect when I walk into my bedroom door otherwise my chores extend from my household tasks.
Thx for the reminder to make love not rubs!!!
This is the best thing I’ve read all day!
Amen, sista! My hubby loves a good hand job. Even during foreplay, he’ll take my hand and put it there. Giving each other manual to get aroused. Love it! 8)