Pregnancy: To Be or Not To Be

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I loved being pregnant. Nothing compares to feeling the baby’s first kick, watching your belly swell, hearing the heartbeat on the monitor, or seeing him/her on the ultrasound. Some people don’t care to have their belly rubbed but I was all for it. “You want to rub my belly? Here you go.” My brother’s wife had a very difficult pregnancy. She lost a bunch of weight, couldn’t keep any food or liquid down and she ended up being hospitalized. She didn’t see how it would be possible to have another baby even though my brother always wanted a slew of kids. It wasn’t guaranteed that she would become sick like that again but what if she did? Her son needed her. She couldn’t care for him if she were to have a similar pregnancy. This is when I had my brainstorm. I loved being pregnant, I’ll be her surrogate!!!!

My husband was not 100% for this plan. He would have to deal with my hormone fall out after the birth of the baby. When people would see his wife pregnant he would need to explain that I was carrying my brother’s baby. Would I be able to let go of the baby after giving birth to it? I tried to ease his mind by addressing his concerns. “But we won’t have a crying baby in our house in the middle of the night so I would be getting my sleep. It wasn’t hormones it was just lack of sleep.” “It’s not like I had sex with my brother! I would just be a house for the baby.” “ Of course I can give it up. It’s not like it’s really ‘my’ baby and I’m not a huge baby person anyway.” As my sister in law and brother were discussing the possibilities I started having irregular bleeding. I went for a bunch of tests and they all came back fine. Obviously this threw a wrench into our possible plans. I couldn’t possible be a surrogate with a wacky cycle happening.

Last week I attended a funeral service for a family member. As everyone paid their respects I looked behind me a spotted and 4 week old baby girl. The baby’s aunt was holding her and the baby started squirming. The aunt, who is just a teen and looking a bit unsure as to what to do, asked my mother if she wanted to hold the baby. My Mom said that she had to talk to some people first but would after that. Then it happened. This aunt made eye contact with me. “Hey Peppermint Girl, want to hold the baby?” I said OK and said a little prayer that the baby would not start screaming while in my arms. This place was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. I took the little bundle in my arms; she looked at me with her gorgeous eyes, grabbed my coat with her tiny figures snuggled into my neck and fell asleep. Now that the baby wasn’t fussing anymore the aunt asked to take her back. Reluctantly I handed her over. That night while laying in bed my husband asked me what I was thinking about. I told him that I was thinking about the baby. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I held her for 15 minutes tops and I still felt empty handing her back. Maybe I was more of a baby person then I thought.

Back when my cycles were irregular we made a decision that me being a surrogate was out of the question. The cycle following that conversation and every one after were fine. No irregular bleeding. I honestly think that God was giving me a message during my irregular time and I didn’t realize it until last week. I don’t think I could have given birth and given the baby away without feeling a tiny bit empty. God has a plan and I guess this wasn’t part of it. Hmmmm, Maybe His plan is for us to have one more of our own!!! Now I need to convince hubby to get a vasectiomy reversal. Do they even make cars that seat 6 kids?

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Rimming, Anilingus, and Anal-Oral Sex

Anilingus is defined as oral stimulation of the anus. Some people call it rimming or anal-oral sex. Most people are either for it or against it. Very few people are neutral. If you are really not into this then you may not want to read this article. I will be writing about this slightly taboo subject here, so don’t say you weren’t warned! 😆

First, let’s discuss rimming for the husbands.  If your husband really likes having his perineum massaged or caressed or rubbed during oral sex or intercourse, then he may very well like having oral attentions there.   Some men would never dream of asking for it though, so it may be up to you to take the first step.  If you want to suggest trying it, then you could both take a shower together and make sure that you are all clean first.

You can start out with oral sex.  Suck and lick on his testicles as well, and then dip down to his perineum area. Stay there for a while if you want, and make him anticipate what you are going to do! While you are giving this oral attention to him, it’s beneficial that you are giving him a hand job at the same time. Or, to make it easier on you, you could ask him to stimulate himself while you are doing this.  When you are ready, dip your tongue down to his anus, and gently graze over the area as if you were licking an ice cream cone. See if it makes your man spasm or shudder! (If it does, that’s a good thing!) Then, just continue to move your tongue all around his anus area. You can go in circles or just flicking back and forth. Don’t be afraid to apply some pressure!

You have different options in how you and your husband want to finish. Your husband could masturbate while you are rimming him.  Men who respond well to rimming say that it really increases the intensity of their orgasms. Your husband may want you to bring your mouth back to his penis to finish him. If so, you can still use your lubed finger to rub him there while he is reaching his climax.

Rimming for us wives can easily be added to the oral sex repertoire.  Again, just make very sure that you are super clean down there.  A shower just beforehand would be optimal.  When your husband is giving you oral delights, he can just move his tongue a little lower than usual.  He can graze over your anus delicately or apply more pressure if you like that.  For maximum pleasure I suggest that you figure out some way to keep the stimulation going on your clitoris.  You can do this by using a small vibe, using your own fingers, or if your husband is coordinated enough, he can keep his fingers on you himself!

There are health issues that need to be taken into consideration when thinking about rimming. You should make sure that you take extra lengths to be clean down there when you are going to incorporate any kind of anal play into sex. But something even more effective is using a dental dam. Amazon even has them for sale! A dental dam is a good way to prevent disease, especially if you want to actually insert your tongue a little (which some men love and some men hate, by the way). Here is a link that shows you how to make one out of a condom yourself.

I wanted to include this in my articles about anal play and anal sex, because some people think Christians don’t practice this.  Some Christians are curious about it, but afraid to ask someone (I mean, who are you going to ask about this subject? 😳 ).  Just make sure that you are practicing good hygiene and taking precautions to protect both you and your spouse against disease.

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