“WE NEED SOME PRIVACY!”

When you become a parent, you find yourself trying to find some private time for intimacy when the mood hits, and sometimes the kiddos just don’t understand. Just today, I was in a mood, so while my honey was at the store, I put on the miniskirt he bought for me and decided to go commando, too. When he got back, I nuzzled against him, and he asks, “Now? Or should we save it for later?”

Later would be great, but I am in the mood now, so I say, “Let’s lock the door”

So we head back to our room and lock the door and get ready for some lovin’…until there is a wee voice at the door, “Mom? I have something for you.”

“Not now, baby. Go get some Jell-O from the fridge.”

So we get busy on some oral sex to get him ready, then knock knock knock….”Mom, I can’t get the box open.”

“Ask your brother to help you.”

I don’t know how many times this wee one came to the door with questions, concerns, or just “Your door won’t open!!” It really kills the mood, ya know? But somehow, we managed a quickie that we hope we will finish later tonight.

My word of advice to you….if you have kids or even if you don’t have kids, keep your bedroom sacred. Seriously. It is so easy to let the kids in to use your bathroom, watch TV in your room when the other TV is in use…soon they inhabit your private sanctuary for love making and you cannot make them go away. I have been asked on message boards if I could go back and change one thing about my life, what would it be? I usually say I wouldn’t change anything, but after today, I would not ever let my kids in my room. I think that was always a problem in my refusing years. I would worry that the kids would walk in on us. Well, if they weren’t allowed in here in the first place and had learned that this was our private sanctuary, then that would have been one less worry.

So now, Mr. Nutmeg and I need to work really hard to get the little critters out of our room so we can regain the jungle all for ourselves, the way it should be.

9 Comments

  1. We’ve always had a rule about the kids not coming in our bedroom unless it was absolutely necessary! But that doesn’t mean that they don’t knock at the WRONG times!

  2. Oh, wow! I could relate to this story all too well! (We have a 4 year old and 2 year old.) Sounds like a common Saturday morning problem in our house with one or both of our little girls wanting in the locked bedroom door! I don’t really know how to consistently keep them out of our room, though. I tried for a while about a year ago and finally gave up. Maybe it is time to redouble the efforts. Thanks for the encouragement!

  3. this sounds good… But, I also have fond childhood (and later teenage years) memories of kids snuggling in bed with mom in the mornings (we were homeschooled and dad went to work really early). When I was a child, and had the flu, I slept in my parents room and loved knowing they would protect me.
    And even in college I sometimes suffered from midnight panic attacks and slept on my parents bedroom floor with a pillow and a blanket just so I wouldn’t be completely alone. Also, my parents have always had ‘the baby’ (whichever one is the current infant. 😀 ) in bed with them.

    So I could never imagine not EVER allowing children into mine and hubby’s room.

    And, after baby comes, we plan to have the baby in the room for us for awhile… Not in the bed – in a cosleeper playpen/bassinet – but still, in the room.

    But, I’m open to reconsidering things. Advice from experienced mom/wives is welcome Do you really think it would be worth NEVER having your child in your bedroom with you? I mean, I know husband comes before children, but children need to feel secure and loved, too, and for me, part of that security was knowing that, in extreme cases, I could be safe in mom and dad’s room.

  4. We gave our kids a set of guides for when do we interupt mommy/daddy time.

    Is it an emergency?
    Is it something I need or want?
    We also give them something specific to do when we are in the bedroom.( Watch this movie, read your science, take care of your whatever chore, go out and play with the dogs or ride your bike.)

    We also have found it very helpful to have special daddy/girl time and mommy girl time. We remoind the girls that just like they want to have special times with only one parrent and no sibling, mommy and daddy like special mommy daddy time. please respect that time when our bedroom door is closed.

  5. We embraced the ‘family bed’ concept at the beginning of our marriage and still have a little girlie cuddle up in bed with us now and again. I followed total breastfeeding for my infants which meant that my 7 babies nursed totally without bottles or pacifiers until they weaned onto solids at anywhere between 12 – 15 months….wow….only breastmilk until then. Yes. Every one of our children are totally secure in themselves as people. Even the littlest one is an amazingly confident child and I have been so very busy during her babyhood with the other kids. Having them in bed with us was a huge bonding experience as I was always able to cuddle with the little ones at night.

    Anyone who has read any of my posts has seen that I have really struggled with adjusting to my sexual awakening in the last year. Was it due to our ‘family bed’ philosophy that I took so long to become a sexually onfire wife…not at all. in fact, that commitment bonded my husband and I together strongly because we both agreed upon providing a safe haven for our children for as long as they have needed us.

    A few years back, I was still reading aloud to all 7 of my kids sprawled across our huge bed; a 17 year old included. We have had, and still have, so much fun reading/listening through really hilarious novels and have had many episodes of rolling on the floor at the amazingly funny literature choices we covered.

    We now have a pretty strict, closed bedroom door, stance since we have been having such outrageoously wonderful sex and our younger children have learnt that they are not to knock as “momma bear” surfaces quickly if it was unnecessary! Of course, they are always able to interrupt our lovemaking in emergencies…what are we here for ? BUT they had better define emergency properly or I get really wild-haired…my man is far more temperate since I am the stricter parent. It is a juggling act and ours is working really well. Another two pennies worth for you to think on, Hisgirl 😉

  6. I’ve got 5 kids under 5 so it is impossible to disappear for 15 minutes. We just moved the baby out of our room so I am happy to have the room to ourselves again. The good thing is that the kids don’t go into our room without permission. Unfortunately the tub in our room is big enough for the kiddos so they bathe there. I might have to rethink this as they get older.

  7. thanks, smokeypuss 🙂
    It’s nice to hear that you can have kids in your room and still have a good and private love life with your husband. That’s what I was hoping to hear 🙂

  8. Like smokeypuss, i breastfed and did the family bed thing when my babies were little, until they turned around 18 mos. I would not give up that sweet time for anything. Now that my babies are bigger, (four ranging from ages 2 1/2 to 9), I am seriously considering totally banning them from our bedroom. At night we have no problems, but daytime sex is pretty frequent at our house, and I swear it never fails that at least one will come banging on the door. It is soooo frustrating, then dh gets up to yell at them to get their butts in the playroom or ELSE!!!!! Lol. Just today we had that problem, (I think our oldest, who might be getting smart to what’s going on behind that locked door and subconsciously trying to sabotage it!!), and my husband looked at me and said “You know what I’m gonna build a 6 foot tall gate so they cannot even get into the hallway!” And then he said that if there was an emergency he was just gonna tell them to call 911 so we could have time to finish…..so in my opinion, for MY house, I think it would work well. And a good thing for the kids to realize, that mommy and daddy are having THEIR time together, and are working very hard to protect it! 😉 😉

  9. Hey, were traveling this week long car rides so I’m reading older posts and just had to comment on this one.
    When I read the post I thought sounds great but I also felt a little guilty. That’s just not us. I was releived to read some of the other comments! I’m not a crazy pushover mom. I too nursed all my babies (9)and let them sleep with us. None of them ever had security blankets or toys, we were it. My kids still like to come in our room, lay on our bed and just talk, even my 18yr boy!
    If I could go back I don’t think I would change it, however I should have set up more strict rules. Ours is pretty much an open door-hey we don’t even have a lock.
    Now that they’re getting older (baby is 7) I think we should come up with some bedroom traffic rules. Our day sex has to be during the school year only or grandma visits. I’d love to change that! My goal for the summer 🙂


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