Romantic lighting

My husband loves sex with the light on. He is a very visual person, and he loves to watch us making love. He loves taking in the visual sights of my body. He loves it with oral sex when he can see what I am doing to him or what he is doing for me.

I, on the other hand, would rather it be dark. I enjoy losing the sense of sight because it enhances my 4 other senses. I pick up sounds and touch so much more than if I can see. It leaves me to visualize in my head his thrusting and I can concentrate on the internal feeling of his penis inside me.

So what is our compromise? Candles.

Candles can be many small votive candles, or a few larger ones. They can be scented or unscented. The mood is so much more romantic than direct light. The flickering of the candles cast cool, sensual shadows on the walls. The light from the candles is so different, making the room feel warmer, more romantic. It can help the visual spouse to see what they want to, while allowing the spouse who likes the dark to have still have a darkened room to make love in.

One of my most romantic memories with candles was on my birthday. He tossed my satin robe out the bedroom door, locked the door and told me I couldn’t come in until he called me. When I finally entered the room, I didn’t recognize my bedroom. It looked as though there were a hundred sparkling lights in the room. The room looked so warm and inviting. It was a very awesome birthday present.

Another thing we have tried to meet each other half way was by using black lights. My husband went out and bought a few replacement light bulbs for our bedside lamps. The result was a darker room with a purplish glow. It was pretty cool. The whole room wasn’t neon, but it was a nice darker compromise and when he would slather me with coconut oil, the sight of my glisteny body did wonders for his visual nature.

If you are interested in more ways to romanticize your bedroom, be sure to check out this article by my good friend Cinnamonsticks.

Middle of the Night Lovin’

One of the fondest memories my husband and I have of our honeymoon is waking up in the middle of the night to have sex and then falling back asleep. We do it rarely now, but it’s fun when we do.

The other night I woke up in the early morning and got to feeling especially amorous towards my husband. Oh, I was so close to getting something going. What stopped me? This thought: “He might be annoyed at me waking him up for sex.” Now, in all honesty, you do need to understand from your husband if he would in fact be annoyed at being woken up. Some people really do not like it. It wrecks their ability to function properly the next day. My husband confirmed for me that it is, indeed, OK for me to interrupt his sleep for some middle of the night lovin’ and yet I expect that it wouldn’t be welcomed every night, which is fine by me. After all, I’m not a machine. 🙂

These are good positions to consider using for middle of the night sex:

When you have sex during the night, it’s almost dream like because you are so sleepy, but it’s not without passion. The whole reason we are doing it is because we don’t want to wait another moment. The passion is just different. It is slow and rhythmic.

My husband says the best part about it is that there is no guilt about going to sleep right afterwards. 😀 Of course, he is mostly teasing because we are both always quick to fall asleep after we have sex.

So once you have talked to your husband about what he thinks about this, the next time you wake up at night reach over and start a little hand job. See how he responds and if it is favorable, go for it!

  • Click here
  • January 2008
    S M T W T F S
  • Archives