Romantic lighting

My husband loves sex with the light on. He is a very visual person, and he loves to watch us making love. He loves taking in the visual sights of my body. He loves it with oral sex when he can see what I am doing to him or what he is doing for me.

I, on the other hand, would rather it be dark. I enjoy losing the sense of sight because it enhances my 4 other senses. I pick up sounds and touch so much more than if I can see. It leaves me to visualize in my head his thrusting and I can concentrate on the internal feeling of his penis inside me.

So what is our compromise? Candles.

Candles can be many small votive candles, or a few larger ones. They can be scented or unscented. The mood is so much more romantic than direct light. The flickering of the candles cast cool, sensual shadows on the walls. The light from the candles is so different, making the room feel warmer, more romantic. It can help the visual spouse to see what they want to, while allowing the spouse who likes the dark to have still have a darkened room to make love in.

One of my most romantic memories with candles was on my birthday. He tossed my satin robe out the bedroom door, locked the door and told me I couldn’t come in until he called me. When I finally entered the room, I didn’t recognize my bedroom. It looked as though there were a hundred sparkling lights in the room. The room looked so warm and inviting. It was a very awesome birthday present.

Another thing we have tried to meet each other half way was by using black lights. My husband went out and bought a few replacement light bulbs for our bedside lamps. The result was a darker room with a purplish glow. It was pretty cool. The whole room wasn’t neon, but it was a nice darker compromise and when he would slather me with coconut oil, the sight of my glisteny body did wonders for his visual nature.

If you are interested in more ways to romanticize your bedroom, be sure to check out this article by my good friend Cinnamonsticks.


  1. I am a very visual person also and Love to have the lights on during LM. This is great during the day (natural light) and when we are alone in the house. When we ML at night (about 50% of the time) I don’t want to keep the light on-the kids that are awake might wonder what we’re up to. So most of the time we leave on our bathroom light. It creates kind of a soft glow. I should probably try candles, (I only have a few million) I think that might be a little more romantic.
    FYI we’re traveling today, our last summer vacation before school starts. I’ve been riding in the car the last 6 hours-thus all the posts!!

  2. DH is self consious of his body so he prefers the dark, I like the dark as it heightens my senses as well but I do love to have a little natural light from the moon or streetlight through the blinds happening because I know he LOVES to see the outline of my body. It also helps me to see my own body in a sensual way without the little floors like my appendex scar etc.

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