Where the Semen Goes

Genesis 38

8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so he put him to death also.

I have heard people use the above scripture to say that the semen going any place other than the vagina is a sin. These people are wrong. The sin was not that Onan spilled his seed on the ground. Onan sinned because he intentionally did not impregnate his dead brother’s wife. Times back then were different, and this woman needed children to grow up and take care of her. Onan had an obligation to produce a child for his late brother. He chose to disobey God, so he was punished.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about exactly where that semen does go. The truth is, your husband can ejaculate wherever you and he see fit. Of course there is something special and meaningful to having your husband come inside you. It’s a loving moment. But there are several reasons why a couple may decide to handle things other ways.

Some couples may be using NFP as their method of birth control, instead of birth control pills or condoms. During the time of ovulation, the husband may choose to pull out and come on his wife or on himself, to prevent pregnancy. Of course he can always come into a towel too.

Another reason may deal with leakage. If you read my article on public sex, then you know about my dressing room evening. We made love until I had my orgasm and then I finished him off orally and swallowed. We did this because I did not want his semen leaking back out of me as I was walking around the mall. At home, if I’m going out to the store or out with friends, again, I don’t want the mess following me around. So he will come on me during those times as well.

You may simply want your husband to come on you so that you can see it! It really is an erotic thing to see it squirting out! And many men love that visual of seeing it on their wives. There is nothing sinful about enjoying this. As long as you and your husband both agree to it, and it isn’t making anyone feel used or degraded, then go for it! I love it when I get to see my husband ejaculate on my breasts or tummy. He likes to pull out sometimes in the rear entry position and come on my backside. And yes, he has even finished on my face 🙂

This is a subject that you and your husband need to talk about together. Discuss what you feel comfortable with. If there is something that you think would make you feel cheap or degraded, then tell him. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful and fun thing for us married folk! So if something is not feeling comfortable to you, then you need to vocalize it to your husband so that he will know. Listen to your husband as well. Find out what he likes and what he isn’t comfortable with. It’s okay to try something new and then decide later if you’d like to do it again, or not.

Spicy Nutmeg wrote a great article about coming out of your comfort zones. Sometimes trying something new is scary. I will tell you from experience, that the times I’ve tried something new are the times that I’ve grown in my sexuality and my relationship with my husband. I pray God’s blessings on your marriage!


  1. You are so right, Cumingirl, about the misinterpretation of that scripture. Onan’s sin was not providing an heir for his brother, not the fact that he spilled his semen on the ground.

    On another note, I find it highly erotic to watch my husband ejaculate! I love it when we do breast sex to be able to see him cum on me…it’s the only string of pearls that he has ever given me! We also have him cuming on video after rear entry sex on my birthday. I love for him to ejaculate in me, but on those times of the month that are not good for PIV, I love to watch him.

  2. As someone who uses NFP, I wanted to clarify one thing: that if one is really following the method there wouldn’t be any withdrawal. The whole idea behind NFP is that if as a couple you’ve discerned that conceiving a child now wouldn’t be wise, you abstain from all sexual contact that could lead to one. But, of course, you don’t abstain from any affectionate contact!

    One other thing, I wasn’t too surprised that the author was quick to reject the interpretation that Genesis 38 was condemning the spilling of seed outside of a woman’s body (even if this has been a constant interpretation of theologians in the Church since the beginning of Christianity), but I would recommend reconsidering the alternate interpretation given as well. It doesn’t follow either. God wouldn’t have killed Onan simply because he wouldn’t impregnate his brother’s wife. As mentioned above, it was a cultural expectation that a man would do so, but no where in the prior 37 chapters does God ever outline it as the law to be followed by Jacob and his sons. God is a god of Justice and mercy, he would kill someone over something unless they knew what they were doing was wrong and they chose to do it anyways.

    Eventually it does become part of the Law as outlined in the rest of the Pentateuch. But even when it is outlined, a man isn’t required to do so. If we read the book of Ruth, we find that there was a man closer in relation to Ruth’s dead husband than Boaz, but he wasn’t interested in marrying her so he let Boaz do so. Therefore, if Onan hadn’t wanted to have a child for his brother’s wife all he would have had to do say is, “sorry, I”m not interested. My younger brother can take care of it.” Instead, he wanted the pleasure of sex with his brother’s wife, but not the responsibilty of raising a child. and it was for this that God condemned him. From the beginning of creation, God had been pretty clear that he had created sex to be very good within the confines of marriage for the purposes of bonding husband and wife and for the procreation of babies. Since Onan was selfishly using Tamar for sex he fulfilled neither one of these purposes and so God struck him dead.

  3. Few things are more erotic than pumping my DH as he [finishes] on my face! It’s so intimate to feel the physical manifestation of the pleasure I give him. I cherish every drop.

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