Until a year or so ago, I had no idea that heterosexual couples enjoyed anal sex with one another. I had never had any desire to explore anal sex and my husband didn’t voice any desire either. People told me that he probably secretly wanted to do it and was just afraid to say anything. We have talked about it many times over the last year and he has been clear that anal sex is not something he is interested in. So while we have enjoyed a little bit of anal stimulation, anal sex is not something we wish to incorporate into our sexual relationship at this time.
Primarily, we feel that God did not intend for the anus to be used for penetration of the penis. Its tissue is so vastly different than that of the vagina. It is thinner and tears so easily. Because it is so thin in comparison the thick wall of the vagina, sperm can easily penetrate the lining which causes the immune system to shut down temporarily. The caution that is needed in order to minimize the risk of tearing the anal wall and damaging the intended function of the rectum is too much for me to consider participating in anal sex. Additionally the pain that I understand is involved seems unnecessary to me. My husband and I have a great sex life and I don’t feel inclined to endure the pain of anal sex in the off chance that it would be enjoyable for me.
With all the caution that is necessary in order for anal sex to be achievable, we just don’t find that it is worth the worry, pain and risk. I am not opposed to exploring prostate stimulation if my husband begins to express interest in that, but for me anal sex crosses the line of what I believe is appropriate.
On the other side of the coin there are couples who like to incorporate anal sex into their sex life for a variety of different reasons, all of them valid for their circumstances. For some women who may have given away more of themselves to other men prior to marriage, it is one thing that they share with their husbands only. Others like the full feeling of having something in their anus and vagina at the same time. Some find anal stimulation to release their erotic feelings like nothing else. Others want to actually experience something to know if they like it or not. And still others do it just because their spouse likes it, as a gift to them.
I want to free you to make your decision of whether or not to participate in anal sex with your husband based on what you as a couple feel is acceptable for you. The Bible is not explicit that anal sex is right or wrong so choose whether or not you will incorporate it based on what God has spoken to your heart about it. And if you do not have clarity, wait. If you are in disagreement with your spouse, communicate about it without pressure or anger. The rule of thumb that my husband and I follow is that whoever doesn’t wish to incorporate whichever act is in question has the deciding vote. However, we continue to talk it through as best we can and try to incorporate things that are uncomfortable for one of us if the other would like to experience it. Having said that, no one should feel pressured to do something that they feel is wrong.
My Spice Sisters and I fill the spectrum of views towards anal sex, but we all treat each other graciously without passing judgment. That is the key. Find out what God says to YOU about anal sex based on who you and your spouse are as people and make your decision with that in mind.
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Christian Nymphos 
I really struggle with the issue of anal sex because my husband really enjoys it, but for me it is really painful. At the same time I feel like I am depriving him of pleasure if I don’t let him do it. I also feel really disrespected when he does after me telling him that it is painful and just the fact that I don’t like the act in general as it feels dirty. After having multiple discussions I have basically given up on the topic and will occasionally let my husband enter anally without moving. I just can’t make my husband understand that the fact that he is always pushing me in that direction really turns me off to him sexually.
It sounds like your husband isn’t acting very considerately on this issue. If in other areas he seems to be considerate of what you do and don’t like (in and out of the bedroom), try approaching it more directly from another angle. If him being inconsiderate to you in general is an issue, I would work on communicating about that with him.
I am a firm believer that after trying something your spouse desires in the bedroom and giving it an honest effort if you have a strong dislike for it, you should have the freedom to enjoy your sex life without it. There are some things we might do that are perhaps more for the enjoyment of one spouse than the other, but if something is a significant turn off while the rest of your sex life is enjoyable, I don’t think you should feel obliged to participate in it.
That’s my opinion. I will say a prayer for you 2cor13
I just wanted to say that I had never considered any of these things till the past year or so. Me and my husband were sure that neither of us wanted to. Somehow to us it was just gross. However a year ago we both became curious on the topic and decided to try it, we didn’t research enough to know that slow meant real slow and that when they say use lube they mean half the bottle, hehehehe. Anyhow I ended up having a horrible experience as the next day I had the runs and was sore for a few days after. But i figured we would try it again but following these recommendations and it was not as bad although not great either I must say. We have tried maybe 4 times or so and he did very much like it but somehow even though it felt good for him he is just not into it and I have no iissue with that as it is not comfortable for me either. I would do it for him to feel something different and feel good but now after reading about the immune system shutting down and the tearing and the you should use a condom thing (which I assumed when I read online was for preventing STD’s so wasn’t required in a marriage) I am MORE than freaked out! WOW!!!!! Yep…I’m not sure freaked out is even the word! I already am very ill and I don’t need a weakened immune system or tearing thanks. I’d like to know what the statistal probabilities are etc…I think I will research this a little more. Thanks for the info though. I have enjoyed this site very much. Thanks for having a site on sex from the christian perspective !!!!
My husband has always been interested in having anal sex. I, however, was NOT. Until a couple of years ago when we were having a tough time in our marriage. I decided to give in and give it a try.
It took a LOT of psychological preparation on my part. We had it a few times and it wasn’t all that bad until I got pregnant with our third child and have experienced hemorrhoids from the pregnancy and birth ever since. He’s 13 months old now and still having them. So, I’ve been very reluctant to give it another try, even though he’s been a bit pushy on the subject.
I recently had a talk with him and told him I really just need to wait until I’m psychologically and physically ready to try it again and to let me tell him when I’m ready instead of trying to persuade me into it.
Sometimes I feel as though I’m sinning when I’m denying him his request, but I also feel that sex should be enjoyable for both spouses and that they should be willing to compromise not only to please each other but to make each other comfortable. Otherwise, one will resent the other for trying to make them do things that they’re not comfortable with. Thoughts?
I have to tell you, he is not patient and is doing it wrong without deferring to you by “being patient” and getting you prepared for it by slowly easing and stretching with fingers, toys and lots of lube..he is pushing it to hard and not being “user friendly”
When there are so many ways for couples to please each other, you shouldn’t worry that putting anal off limits is sinful or that you are depriving your husband. It was generous of you to try it on other occasions, but if it makes sex uncomfortable for you it really would be unfair for you keep sacrificing your pleasure–and even enduring pain–in that way.
I hope he shows more consideration of your physical problems after baby (and I hope they clear up–that does not sound fun) and I wish you the best in enjoying sex together! 🙂
From reading the comments I find that woman the loving unselfish creatures they are give themselves to their man in this way even when they might not really want to. I don’t like and I speak for myself only .my husband has mentioned it a few times meaning he would love to try it but will not push. It feels treally bad to think you might not be good enough for your man as U are without the anus. It’s all about the man what he wants his needs . GOD help me and others on this issue. I struggle with it. Does that mean GOD does not care about a woman’s needs? Are we man’s sex objects. GOD help me.
No one is anyone else’s sex object. You say your husband has mentioned anal sex a few times but hasn’t pushed. It sounds like you are putting pressure on yourself though and making yourself feel bad. It sounds like you both need to drop this issue altogether. You need to be focusing on the things that edify your marriage, and obviously this isn’t very edifying at all for you.
My husband would love to try… and has.. it was too painful for me and we didn’t get very far. We’ve talked… and while I have NO desire, his is still there. I have trouble w/ hemorhoids and just really feel like that is a dirty part of the body. He does pretty good, but likes to mess around down there… it’s a big turn off to me. He just doesn’t understand. I feel guilty about the whole thing and have read and re-read lots of info. I worry that someday he will hold it against me. I wish I knew what to do. I respect his desire…. I just don’t think I can do it for him, especially when the rest of our sexual life is so good.
Have you told him everything that you just wrote out? If not, you need to have a heart to heart with him and lay it all out. It sounds like he is still holding out hope that someday you’ll change your mind, so if you know you probably won’t be changing your mind, then you need to let him know that. Let him know that between the pain and the hemorrhoids you consider that a turn off and you have no plans of attempting anal sex again. Tell him that you need him to understand and respect your boundaries so that you don’t continue to feel guilt over this area. Then the two of you need to let it go and focus on all the other things that DO bring you both pleasure!
So, my husband and I re-tried this again (after almost ten years), and it was surprisingly pretty amazing! He is not big on period sex, (which I think is funny, considering he doesn’t mind anal play/sex, lol), so I suggested that maybe we could try it again and see if it worked out. I think it went much better this time for a lot of reasons, some being that I am more informed now about how to make it more comfortable, we are just more comfortable with eachother after being married longer, and the fact that we have already incorporated and enjoyed anal play at this point.
I do have a few questions. I think one of the reasons we have held out this long before trying again is my concern that we will damage something. Obviously that’s so not worth any kind of pleasure. We were very careful, used lots of lube, took it slow, etc, and there was actually no pain involved at all. What I’m wondering, since it went so well this time, could we expect that as long as we take the same precautions in the future, that we should continue to have no problems? Those of you who practice anal sex, if you don’t mind sharing, I’d like to know how long have you and your husband been doing it? Have you had any problems? Do you know anyone who has? Has anyone ever asked their doctor about it? Thanks guys!
The anal sphincter contracts when it comes into contact, it is not designed to be entered just exited. God made it a one way system and people have decided to make it a two way street. It is always a recipe for disaster when people take something that God created for a specific reason and use it to satisfy their own pleasures. I don’t care how careful you are or how much lube you use the chance is still there for some SERIOUS damage. Forget the bacteria that can enter (even from a clean penis) which can cause sickness, anal cancer etc. A bigger issue is anal prolapse, hemrroids (OK, I am not spelling that right!!) that never fully heal and worst of all a colon perforation. On top of that over time the anal sphincter can actually weaken until you just lose feces against your will. There are people in diapers and with bags after surgery that were “careful” having anal sex.
A wife already has a perfect opening for a penis – a place God created with that purpose, that is what we should be using. The risks are there, don’t say it won’t happen to you and men think about whether it is worth having your wife wear a bag to collect her feces in because of anal sex – it can happen.
Wynterr, I appreciate your pointing out the possible worst case medical outcomes of anal sex. I can’t tell from your comments wether your male or female. I will assume you are female so we may talk sister to sister. If your arguement is don’t do it because it might be physically dangerous, I must assume you will never have unprotected sex with you DH again because many of the things you mention above can occure from pregnancy and childbirth, and the risk of death during childbirth is many times greater than with anal sex. Fortunately we live in a time when should adverse things happen we have doctors to correct then. Your second arguement seems to be using body parts for thier intended purpose. Our legs and tush are made for walking,not sitting in a car, I must assume you don’t drive a car either because we all know the risk of death or dismemberment associated with driving. If you think its wrong just say so, site scripture, and stop trying to scare everybody to death. Anal sex is not for everybody, thats why were all here looking for answers. One last thing, if my hubby invites me for a mustache ride would that be wrong?
I am sharing what I have read from proctologists. There is a real danger to anal sex. If it hasn’t happened to you then that is great! You want to take the risk that is up to you. I just want to let people know that there are risks. They don’t have to believe me but I hope before anyone wants to start having anal sex they will speak to a specialist about the dangers.
I still stand behind what I said about God making it a one way exit, again proctologists say they same thing except many of them use evolution.
carpentersdream – I am a woman. My husband has a vasectomy, chance of pregnancy not there. Besides there is no comparison between the two. God specifically told people to have children, he never specifically told anyone to have anal sex. As for the car, I do drive – I also walk. I do not think that the link can be made there but if you want to so be it. I was told before I drove the risks associated with driving. I chose to accept them. I want people to know the risks associated with anal sex. If it scares people to not want to do it well, they probably will be able to be perfectly sexually satisfied without it anyway. People need to know the risks to make their choices.
Wynterr, Please excuse my combative style, it comes from growing up in a large family of males. Please forgive me. I’m glad I guessed correctly that you’re a woman, because I feel responding to the male posters only encourages more male involvement on this site.
I guess my comparison to pregnancy boils down to this, if you were as passionate about warning other people about the side effects of vaginal sex, destruction of the hymen, risk of infection, risk of death from childbirth, risk of suicidal or homicidal post partum depression, perrinial and anal tearing from childbirth, risk of ostioporosis from to much breast feeding,and the list goes on, very few women would ever have vaginal sex. Without associating a risk value to each of these things as with anal sex it only becomes a scare tactic to promote a point of view. Only in the modern era with advanced medicine has vaginal sex become relatively safe!! Yet statistically speaking you are much more likely to die or suffer adverse conditions from vaginal sex.
The connection to driving is this,you state the anus is a one-way street and should be used for its intended design as God made us in the beginning. In the beginning we were created with legs designed for walking (transportation), yet we us them for piloting a car(unintended use), a very dangerous thing to do. My point is this, if you speed and drive recklessely you will get hurt or you can go slowly and drive carefully you can have a safe and enjoyable experience. The same can be said for anal sex. Neither activity is forbidden by God.
You revealed something in your last post that I’m curios about. If we are to use body parts for thier intended use, and we are to be fruitfull and multiply, please explain the vasectomy? Please don’t take this as an attack, I’m truelly curious!
carpentersdream- I am combative by nature too so no worries.
God told us to reproduce – yes it causes problems, some big like death, but it is still something God asked us to do. As for driving, there are risks even if you drive carefully. I know people who do not drive or use certain roads because the risk is there. I want people (especially women) to know the risks of anal sex. I have looked into it in length and for all the stories like Barry’s and New Contributor there are others that did not fare as well. People need to know risks of all behaviours. Hey, I haven’t died from driving and I have driven for over 20 years, does that mean that not one dies from driving? Of course not! Neither does the fact that there are people who have anal sex without getting damaged mean that no one gets damaged. I live in the country, I have no bus that goes by my house. It is drive or ride a horse to get groceries. I have no good option so I drive. I have a vagina, to me that is a good option for not taking the risk of anal sex.
Vasectomy – My husband and I were not following Christ when we were dating. He had the vasectomy then. I have wished many times we hadn’t done that…
Wynterr,
Thank you for understanding, it’s something I’ve been praying about. Some would take it personal and I’m glad you haven’t.
I whole heartedly agree with you that we should consider the risk factor in what ever we do. I re-read your original post to see what set me off in the first place. The way you presented the possible risks without presenting the probability of the risk occuring is why I labeled your arguement a scare tactic, and precisely why I presented the risks of pregnancy in the same manner as you presented the risks of anal sex. I was hoping you would see your arguement was not about information and risk assesement, but about convincing others of your personal belief that its wrong and goes against God. The bible is silent on this issue and we must consider the risk possibility and probability to our physical as well as our spiritual health. SISTERS GET THE FACTS, CONSIDER THE RISKS AND PROBABILITIES, AND PRAY ABOUT WETHER OR NOT THIS IS RIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE BED.
On a personal note. For some reason my heart aches for you on the subject of children. I pray you would know Gods grace and have peace and healing in your life.
carpenter’sdream – There are many that would disagree that the Bible is silent on this subject. CARM.org has got a good explanation. I am not going to argue this anymore, for two reasons, I have said what I wanted to say and you are my sister in Christ. I don’t want this to escalate, as much as I enjoy a good debate!
Thank you for your prayers about children. I really appreciate it. There have been so many times I have wished I had children but we are different people before we come to know Jesus. God knows our hearts and he does give us mercy and grace.
God Bless.:)
Wynterr and Carpentersdream,
I enjoyed reading your dialogue. Thank you.
Wynterr, I also hurt for you regarding not having any children but you sound like an extremely resourceful woman who lives a full and productive life.
As a M.O.M. (mother of many) I have been crusading for mothers to not forget who they are in the midst of the hugely busy years of childbearing.
I forgot to nurture myself and have had a huge awakening, both sexually and personally,since last year. As women, we can encourage each other to adore ourselves and our husbands and if we have them, our children.
Enjoy your life and love big on your man 😉 .
Thanks smokeypuss. God keeps me very busy indeed! Not having children I have gone to ladies groups and been met with women with children that do not seem to have any identity outside of their children. Everything they talk about, everything they do revolves around their kids. I think it is absolutely fabulous that you are on crusade for mothers to be more than mothers – to love themselves and to love their husbands. The greatest gift a woman can give her child is to love her husband fully. The greatest gift a woman can give her husband is to love herself fully. The greatest gift a woman can give to herself is to love God fully.
I do love my husband. I thank God all the time for him. I also very much enjoy loving my husband.;)
I like your response. It is easier to dismiss or discount things that we don’t WANT to do, citing the dangers and adverse possibilities of what COULD happen. More often when it is something we want to do we dismiss the possible reprecussions.
One of my favorite things about this site is that you have the opportunity to hear both perspectives on topics. It is great to be a part of a Christian group of women who are so intelligent, open, and well spoken.
Thank you my Christian Sisters 🙂
Wynterr,
“The greatest gift a woman can give her child is to love her husband fully. The greatest gift a woman can give her husband is to love herself fully. The greatest gift a woman can give to herself is to love God fully.”
I love this so much that I journaled it amongst the pharases that I want to define me. Thank you for your insightful perspective. I really enjoyed the dialoge and hearing both perspectives.
May God bless you.
First of all, I must say that I appreciate this site. As a newlywed with a fairly new social network, I have often found it difficult to grapple with these issues with loose acquaintances and my husband alone. It is helpful to have a forum filled with godly women striving to do the best in their marriages.
With that said, I have had a huge issue with the whole anal sex thing. I have talked to a few of my friends, all of whom have never tried it and do not wish to. Though I do not judge those who choose to pursue anal sex, I have tried it once and personally found it very painful and degrading. Even so, my husband insists on trying again saying that if everyone only tried sex once, no one would ever find it satisfying. My problem, culturally stigmatized or not, is that I found the issues to be degrading and psychologically damaging to an extent. I know that he will not feel completely fulfilled unless this is a part of our “occasional” sexual routine but I can’t help but dread the prospect of ever doing that again. Any advice?
Longingly,
Did you give this information to your husband? In those words? Gently, of course. If he thinks your only issue with anal sex is that it is painful, then he’s more likely to encourage you to try it again. But does he know that you find it degrading & psychologically damaging as well? Be honest with him. I doubt his intent is to make you feel degraded & damaged.
I don’t like hearing when a certain sex act becomes so important to a person that their desire for it overcomes their desire to love and protect their spouse. If you are sexually generous in a variety of other ways and this is a boundary you need to set in order for your sex life to be a safe place for you, it is important to try to communicate that very clearly to your husband as lovingly as you can. Let him know that if you ever feel like it is something you want to try again, that you will tell him. Tell him also that you need for him to not try to argue you out of your feelings on the matter. If he tries to explain away your reasons for not wanting to do anal sex again (“If everyone only tried sex once, no one would find it satisfying”), it will only serve to push you further away. That you tried it once is shows that you are trying to be engaged in your sex life, but you do not have to do it again. There are so many other spicy ways to make sex fun and interesting.
I think we have to be very careful here because there are two sides to every coin. Sometimes it is all too easy to make absolute statements about what we like and don’t like or will or won’t do without ever examining where these views come from and how rational they are.
There are many people who think sex in and of itself is dirty, sex for reasons other than procreation is a sin. Oral sex is wrong or that any position other than the missionary position is an affront to God. You get the idea. We can get these notions from our parents, our society and unfortunately all too often from our church. Because of this stigma we often need to take what our friends tell us regarding their sexual behavior with a grain of salt so I wouldn’t rely on that as my guiding light. I know I’ve said many things on CN anonymously that I would never say without the cloak of anonymity this site provides.
I also know for me personally if you had told me ten years ago half the things me and my husband now do and enjoy I would have told you that you were crazy. The important thing is to be open and to communicate. If you have fears or doubts say them and attempt to work through them. Better yet let your DH husband help you work through them. Then, even if things don’t work out and you put the act “on the shelf” at least the process will help him understand you better and hopefully bring you closer.
Whatever you do, and I’ve learned this the hard way on more than one occasion, don’t slam the door on him and let this become a wedge between you. Developing a sexual life in marriage is one of life’s great joys and it takes work and most important communication. One tool I’ve learned to help with this is to always try to bring these subjects up in a nonsexual situation. Over breakfast, in the car. Then you can both feel free to talk without there being any pressure to perform.
God Bless and good luck.
Wow great comments Susan I so agree with you on many points! I too would have never thought or done half the things I do with my husband today after 18 years! I only bought my first vibrator 2 years ago and I have to say before that I think I would have be offended if someone asked me if I had one! I do feel you have to be totally comfortal though because you wont feel right if you are not but maybe over time it will happen and your just not ready or maybe like Susan said you will never be but I totally agree with giving it time girl! You are newly married and maybe just need more time getting to know each other and hopefully you can communicate that to him. I know when your first married or it was for me hard to learn to communicate things so your husband hears what you are saying with out taking offense. Just dont say no to soon you might come to enjoy it or you might not but God wants you both to be mentally and sexual satisfied so take your time!!! Good luck!!
I am one of those moms you talk about who have a hard time talking about anything besides my kids and, although I used to be a very widely read, intelligent woman, I just don’t have too much else going on in my life besides my kids. My husband and I have a great sex life. We are friends and partners, but with three small kids and me at home with no car… there isn’t much else that I think about or am exposed to in a day. If you talked to an accountant, they would likely talk about nothing but their job near tax season when it becomes almost the same hours as parenting!!! Go easy on us!! That being said, I do think it is totally true that loving your husband is the best thing I can do for my kids. I subscribe to the generous wife blog. I enjoy getting it. But if you talk to me… it probably sounds alll about my kdis.
Its difficult to say something. But first I should say as much as a woman must be submissive to her husband, the husband shouldn’t force himself into her woman; it really spoils the whole fun you could have had if both of you were in agreement. I advise that first you should humbly help your hubby comprehend your point of view after making it clear to him that you want to please him in any possible way. Both of you should have a serious talk about and research about better ways of making it very easy to get started if you agree to it.
I don’t believe that a wife has to agree to sexual activity that is painful and makes her feel disrespected. Honestly, I think it’s a bad idea to agree to it, because it builds resentment that is damaging to your marriage. Your husband should not be pushing you into sexual activity that hurts you and makes you feel uncomfortable. This is a tough situation – if I were you I would not agree to anal sex, would pray fervently for God to intervene in the situation, and would try again to talk to my husband about it. You may need some help from a Christian counselor (NOT someone who says that a wife should do whatever her husband wants her to do). Would your husband read a book about sex? Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman talks to husbands about protecting and caring for their wives sexually and not doing things that make their wives uncomfortable. Praying for you.
ok, ladies, question. my husband and I have discussd the possibility of trying anal sex, but, and i’m sorry if this sounds crude, i’m afrid we’ll be trying this, and itll just make me feel like i have to poop. for those of you that have tried ana does it make you feel like that ? thoughts? advice?
Well we tried it our first time a couple of years ago! I totally love everything anal however I have found that unless I’m really turned on and relaxed anal sex doesn’t feel real good! We usually always incorporate some kind of anal either finger play, vibrator or plugs but not always sex! Sorry if this is to much info but I’m guessing you want to know since your question was so specific! Anyways what we have found is when I feel ready to try anal sex he has to really prep me with fingers or plugs just so I’m relaxed. We don’t always go all the way to anal sex sometimes it just doesn’t work. I really have to be turned on and prepared but when we do man is it great! I have really strong O’s with it! That is also why we incorporate anal into a lot of our sex life because my O’s are so much stronger. I know a lot of people don’t like it but I guess I’m one that does!!! Anyways as far as feeling like you have to poop well not really while you are having sex at least not for me! Make sure he goes real slow entering that always makes a huge difference to how good it can feel and LOTS of lube!!!!! Sometimes after sex it can feel like you have to go to the bathroom maybe all the stimulation not sure. Hope that helps good luck and remember go real slow at first!!!!
I hope this isn’t too weird a question but can I let him try penetrating just a bit? will that do anything for him? Or will it just frustrate our whole attempt at this. I haven’t even approached him about this yet. Should I prepare ‘in advance” to see if this is even possible anatomically? I hate to be so ‘graphic”
I., too, until recently felt like this is something I would never, ever in a million years want to try but after reading some articles (and I caution anyone on sites they go to) and trying to read from a Christian and normal perspective, I am actually the one that wants to have my husband try it.
This is the place to ask those questions, so don’t be shy.
You can let him try penetrating a bit, but personally I feel that once the penetration happens then the rest is the easy part. I think the trying it yourself is a good idea. Of course having your anus ready before he penetrates is very important. It might help you to feel more comfortable to try yourself beforehand. I sometimes get ready for my dh… I find getting ready is more fun with his fingers and not as fun without him. (just so you know) I am sure you have read all the info about there being two sphincters that both need to be relaxed. Have fun!
getting ready to go for it…have used a small dildo and a larger plug and really like both. Have you all had your H try two fingers before he tried to penetrate and if so did that happen during the same round of sex or did you do this one night following another? Am excited but nervous at the same time.
I ordered a plug (due to arrive tomorrow ) and have tried a bit on my own manually with my fingers. Since hubby is gone for a couple of weeks. I felt I could try.
My husband has orange underwear and I told him one time that it is is a total turnoff when he wears them. Now, whenever he wants to be “subtle” about not wanting to have sex, he wears his orange underwear. It usually just makes me laugh. 😀 Well, last night he wore his orange underwear, and it was cold out, and he was tired, meaning, the chances of sex were low. Ended up, I asked him if he ever would consider having anal sex and he said, “Of course!” Ended up, we had anal sex, and it was awesome. He used a condom, we took it very slowly and used lube. I am toward the end of my pregnancy so I really wanted to know if anal play would be something to incorporate after the baby comes (in those weeks after).
I’ve been thinking about trying anal sex because I’ve had this problem have suffered for years, whereby after intercourse (vaginal entry) I experience burning, stinging, irritation, or raw sensation and inflammation of the skin in the area around the opening of the vagina. Even when we use lots of lubrication. I have seen a number of physicians, and have tried many unsuccessful treatments in search of relief. The thought of vaginal penetration puts me off sex because of the discomfort I’ll surely experience afterwards.
My husband has been very understanding and considerate about my condition. We have been engaging in non-penetrative sex (oral, mutual masturbation). I haven’t discussed my thoughts on trying anal sex with my husband and I don’t know if it’s something he’d be willing to attempt.