Are you one of those women who think that she isn’t capable of having multiple orgasms? Every woman is capable of having them. I’m going to try to explain how they can be achieved and what the different types are. Grab yourself a snack, a drink and a positive attitude and we will be on our way!!!.
Sequential O’s: Having multiple orgasms is a learned response. If you are going to teach yourself first, a bullet or vibe may work better then your fingers. Get nice and comfortable. Think of how you can bring yourself to orgasm without over stimulating your clitoris. In the past an ultra sensitive clitoris has been what has held me back from going for more but with time and retraining of my brain I have learned to get past it. If your husband is a willing participant then having him performing oral or using a toy on you first would be ideal. I wrote some oral tips in my “Pleasing Your Wife” article. Once you do have that first orgasm bask in the afterglow for a minute and slowly begin exploring again. You want to keep that clitoris engorged so don’t bask too long!!!
This second orgasm will take longer to achieve because your body is not use to going for more. You may be sensitive when you first start again but keep working through it just be gentle. After that ultra sensitive time period has passed you can begin using more pressure to bring that second O on. If I am doing this solo I like using a dual stimulator at this point. This allows penetration, possible G spot stimulation and stimulation of my clitoris as well. Here are some examples of dual vibrators. My husband is always willing and eager to help bring the second one along particularly if I brought the first one on solo. We like either oral or the woman on top position that I discussed in my “Cowgirl” article. Obviously you should get into what ever position sends you to ecstasy the easiest. After your second orgasm make note of how long it took you. We are trying to get them as close together as possible. The more you try to achieve multiple o’s the easier it will become. Just like so many other things, practice makes perfect! After sequential orgasms are obtained you are ready for what I like to refer to as “Bunches of O’s” which I will discuss in part two of this segment.
We all know that you need to learn how to crawl before you can walk. If you haven’t been able to have an orgasm then let me first encourage you explore your body and learn how to bring yourself to orgasm. Cumingirl’s article “Touching Yourself” has some great tips. Once you are comfortable enough to have one with your husband or by yourself in a short amount of time then you are ready to try for multiples. Try bringing yourself to orgasm throughout your cycle. Where you are in your cycle does effect how easily you can orgasm. Remember that a positive attitude is everything!
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Christian Nymphos 
A woman’s orgasm is 98% mental, for men it’s physical. If she goes into bed thinking that she can’t have an O then I can assure you that she won’t. Every woman’s body IS capable of having multiple O’s but does not guarantee that she’ll have them. No generalizations were being made. It’s amazing what a little positive thinking will do. 😉
as one who enjoys multiple o’s often, I think there is more physicality there for women that you think. on my own, I top out with 2-4, but with hubby 7,8-10 is very achievable. it seems like it is purely physical to me, although these situations are heightened mentally and physically, my mind pretty much in the same place for all our encounters, the key is the physical stimulation, style, technique, etc.
When we are engaging in a sexual activity with our spouse there is also much more visual stimulation going on. I’m an extremely visual woman, so I know that would factor into the equation for me having more O’s with hubby. Depending on where you are in your cycle could make a difference as well…hormones are a big factor. So many things come into play but if you are thinking that it won’t happen, then it probably won’t.
Yes, I agree completely. I think women can “mental” themselves right out of achieving an O. I guess I mean if you do not mentally block it, you dont necessarily have to mentally allow it.
ooooo man. i’m thinking i need to read “touching yourself” because i have an issue with obtaining an o a lot of the time and at times i get really frustrated. my husband is more than willing to keep it going for us but it seems sometimes we try and try and… nothing. much less more than once. sometimes after i go, i hardly stay wet and we have to use extra lubes and what not. i’m not sure if im trying to hard or what but i get really emotional when i keep feeling so close and i just cant get over that ledge! and, i have a really hard time cumming unless im on top… it’s upsetting because my husband doesn’t have a problem waiting on me to O but usually knowing he’s waiting on me just furthers my frustration and i get so upset i dont even want to have sex any more. AND I LOVE DOING MY MAN!!! i couldn’t have asked for a better husband and lover but i dont know what to do…maybe i just need practice….
anybody have any suggestions? or any advice??? things to try?
I understand you as well. I have the same problem sometimes too. When I know my dh is waiting for me “to go” I get frustrated and I can’t reach climax. It really is a mental thing. One thing thats helped me is to realize that I am giving my dh pleasure- to think about that, instead of my own pleasure. Its strange, but when the focus shifts off of me for a little, it all of a sudden heightens what I am feeling.
Also, if I masturbate before we make love, not to the point of orgasm or anything, but till I am ‘wet’ it gets me in the mood. I do this sometimes when I know for sure we are going to make love. Otherwise, it can be like getting an icecream cone and not being able to eat it, lol.
One thing I want to learn is to reach climax without having to be on top (‘cowgirl’). I’ve only ever been able to do this one time.
Does anyone have ideas of how to do this? Positions, toys, etc… ?
I agree that a lot of it is mental. If I’m stressed out or otherwise have something on my mind, it will either take longer for me to reach O or ot won’t happen at all. Last time hubby and I ML, I consciously pushed all thoughts out of my mind except for one: that it was about his needs first. The results were AMAZING! 😉
I used to feel guilty about using lube. I felt like if I wasn’t wet enough then I mustn’t have been very aroused or he would feel me lacking or something. But I’ve had kids now and learned that sometimes the dryness can be hormonal (ie. not your fault) In order to give him a good hand job I pull out the lube to start wtih and then just put some on me while I’m at it. Don’t be shy about that. Relax, know that he loves you and wants to see you happy. I also used to have trouble with my husband “waiting” for me. But that just takes some trusting that he thinks you are worth it. And you are!
I heard it said once that half the battle is learning to be aroused by HIS arousal. I like that. Then when He gets all excited it really gets me excited. Personally I love him on top, I am visual so watching his strong shoulders holding himself up over me and feeling him get all excited (after he has gotten me excited first, of course) are often what really push me over the edge. I often O just because he does. Sorry if this is too much info, but I lay on my back and put my legs up in the air and he enters me on his knees and it is very deep and hits spots that do good things for me. I try not to worry the times when I don’t O at all. There are ebbs and flows to your body and your life and there will be times when you can and times when you can’t, but as long as it still feels good and you don’t feel grumpy…. then it is making love that really matters. I hope that is helpful!! My goodness, that is too much info!! 🙂
I agree very much!
I like you use to really struggle with having just 1 O much less more than that! It would take like 45 min just crazy and it would totally frustrate me! So I’m with ya girl! I will tell you I have gotten so much better but it did take practice on my own to get there! I know that may sound crazy but it really did help I can now in bout 10 min even faster on good days he he! So maybe if you could get some alone time and toys if necessary and try to train yourself kinda find out what feels the best for you on your own first them introduce it to your hubby. Maybe order some new toys ok this is probably TMI but when its just me I gotta have the works nipple clamps, vibrators ect!!!! But I would have never known had I not tried! Anyways I bet your husband like mine will totally think its awesome! My husband still wants a video which I will totally not do but I guess for him its the thought of me doing that that drives him wild. Anyways sorry if I was to bold but that is just what helped me! Good Luck!