Can our sex lives send us to hell?

It has come to my attention that there is a site out there that claims that you will go to hell if you think about sex and don’t pray. The first thing I saw on this site was their “Christian Sex Test”. So I decided to take it to see if I was going to heaven or hell.

The first time I took it, I put down that I didn’t think about sex and I prayed 10 minutes every day. It told me the following:

“Heaven awaits you Spicynutmeg! Let all the hypocrites know your verdict. No one really knows when judgement day is coming but when it does we hope to see you there.

10 years from now, you will have had sex 0 times. Tell Mr. Nutmeg that you’re going to heaven…so relax

You spend 0 hours a week having sex.
You burn 0 calories a week by having sex.

WARNING:If you continue to hurt your partner’s feelings during sex, you’ll wind up in Hell.”

So I decided to take it again and change some of the values in the test….this time, I thought about sex 11 times a day and prayed for 5 minutes a day. This time, I got the following gruesome message…

“Welcome to Hell Spicynutmeg! You really earned it this time, how selfishly pathetic you are.

You are joined in hell by: George Bush, Ted Haggard, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Robert Tilton

10 years from now you will have shamelessly had sex 5720 times. That’s a lot don’t you think? You will have already had more relations with (ex BF name here) again by then. That’s fornication. It’s pitiful that you have time to have sex but not much time to pray.

We’ve already sent an email to Mr. Nutmeg so you should expect that call any minute.

You spend 4.4 hours a week having sex.
You burn 330 calories a week by having sex.

Why are you so homophobic? Why are you afraid to talk about sex as a Christian?”

So I began to wonder….why did the person who created this survey decide that I am going to hell for having sex with my husband? Mr. Nutmeg would LOVE to have this much sex! And I know that he would love it if I thought about sex 11 times a day!!! We’re married after all. This quiz goes out of its way to condemn all Christians as hypocrites. Did you see that last question? We here at Christian Nymphos are NOT afraid to talk about sex as a Christian.

I read a little further and found what I thought could be the answer to the meaning of this quiz. The person who created it doesn’t understand about sin. He doesn’t understand that even though a person gets saved and calls themselves a Christian, it doesn’t mean that we are without sin. He couldn’t be further away from the truth. Now as a Christian, the Holy Spirit indwells within us and is our guide, our moral compass, but it doesn’t mean we still don’t make bad choices. I am a Christian, and I still sin.

God’s perfect plan was for a man to leave his father and mother and become united with his wife, and the two would become one flesh. (Gen. 2:24, Matt 19:5, Mark 10:7, Eph 5:31) In the bible, The Song of Solomon is a celebration of sexual love between a man and wife. (see this blog written by Cinnamonsticks) God created sex for the husband and wife, so why then would He send them to hell for wanting to have sex with each other? That makes no sense to me at all. After all, when God created the universe, He called all He created GOOD. God is glorified when a husband and wife come together in their marriage bed. It is his plan all along.

The quiz has some clear deficiencies to it. First of all, it asked me how many times I thought about sex. Then in it’s answer it condemned me to hell for how often I had sex. The quiz never asked how much sex I have, so it’s answer is completely misguided. The quiz also asks for the name of an ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend and then in it’s answer when you go to hell, it assumes that since you think about sex, then you must have also thought about cheating (or have actually cheated) on your spouse. Just because society has no qualms about destroying a marriage in this way, does not mean that my Christian marriage would be infiltrated with this sin as well. Finally, the survey either congratulates you or condemns you at the beginning of the results, but at the end, throws in a condemnation that doesn’t have anything to do with the questions they asked. Notice that when I went to heaven, it ended with ” WARNING: If you continue to hurt your partner’s feelings during sex, you’ll wind up in Hell.” Well, I guess since it assumes I am having 0 hours of sex, that I must be hurting my partner’s feelings, thus I guess I am going to hell. And when it claims I am going to hell, it ends with “Why are you so homophobic? Why are you afraid to talk about sex as a Christian?” Well, I am here on this blog talking about sex, so I am definitely not afraid to talk about it.

So, to my married brothers and sisters, your married sex life is not a sin. It gives God the greatest joy in knowing that you give and receive the greatest pleasure from the wedding gift He has given you. There is no sin in the frequency of married sex, whether once a week or 3 times a day and beloved, if you believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins once and for all, and He is your Savior, you are not going to hell no matter what sin is in your life and no matter how much sex you have with your spouse. Please don’t ever let Satan’s lies lead you astray. Follow the Voice of Truth, follow the word of God, follow the Holy Spirit who indwelled your heart on the day you were saved, but most of all, follow Jesus Christ. He will never lead you astray.

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