Oh, The Embarrassment

Although I am getting better at laughing at myself and the longer I am married, the more comfortable I am with the bizarre things that can happen with my husband in bed, the thing I experience that still causes me embarrassment is the quif.

A quif is the noise your vagina makes that sounds like you are passing gas. I hate it. It really spoils the mood for me. My husband tells me every time that it’s no big deal, but it bugs me none-the-less. The cause for a quif is that air is being pushed into the vagina. Although sex is a common culprit for causing it, it can also happen with other daily activities from yoga and pilates to simply shifting your weight.

I don’t know if I will ever be able to experience a quif during sex and not have it bother me. I can’t imagine ever being comfortable with it. If you’ve got tips for me, I gladly welcome them, but it ruins the mood for me to be getting into it and then have that happen. And it would appear that the more aroused I am, the more it happens. In addition to this, some of my favorite positions for when I want hotter sex affect it more readily than others, such as doggy and reverse cowgirl.

I remember the first time it ever happened to me. I was an adolescent and it happened in the morning when my mom was waking me up. I didn’t understand what was happening and she didn’t explain it. That was very awkward and left me wondering what strange thing was happening to my body. I have come to understand how normal it is, but I still wish it didn’t happen.

I find that when I start to experience quiffing during sex, my options are to forget about it and continue on with the position because it is feeling great, or to change to a position that influences it less. I hope that in fifty years it can happen and neither I nor my husband takes much note of it at that point anymore.

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  • February 2008
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