Q: How do I make myself feel sexy again with a growing belly?

(This article was inspired by a question left on an article previously written by Spicy Nutmeg.)

Pregnancy is full of bumps. I remember morning sickness… except for me it was 24/7 sickness for the first four months. I remember the excitement of feeling the first tiny movement which soon escalates into feeling like my child was going to be the next professional soccer star. I remember feeling like I could never get enough sleep and then when 9:00 pm hit, I wanted to deep clean the house, fold four loads of laundry and make a gourmet dessert… all at once! No matter what your story may be, one prominent bump that all of us women have in common during pregnancy is that baby bump! We have to buy new clothes to accommodate it. Things that we took for granted like seat-belts, booths in restaurants and picking things up off the floor all of a sudden feel somewhat foreign. There are so many situations for us and our husbands to adapt to and sex and feeling sexy is not excluded from the list.

The first thing that I would suggest is to embrace that changing body of yours. I loved my pregnant belly. The bigger it got, the more I liked it! It more than likely had to do with the bundle inside, but it was also a time when my tummy was hard without having to do aerobics five times a week, run a couple miles, lift weights and diet to get it that way! Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean that you can’t be fashionable. Maternity clothes have grown strides in the recent past. In any price range that you can afford, there are cute things for you to wear. One of the best things that I purchased during my last pregnancy was a mix-n-match 5 piece outfit for $100. It had pants, two shirts and two skirts all in neutral colors for the basic wardrobe. It was a life saver!

And now that I’m done having kids, I’ve discovered that manufacturers are making maternity lingerie! And I’m not just talking panties and nursing bras, but the sexy stuff. Buy some! And if you don’t want to fork out the cash on maternity lingerie, then I’d suggest buying the fly-away baby doll type of lingerie which would leave ample room for a growing belly. Also, make sure you keep up with your beauty routines or pamper yourself from time to time. Some spas give special maternity massages, and even if you can’t find one that does so, you can still relax by getting your nails done, a pedicure or getting a long scalp massage the next time you’re getting a shampoo during a hair cut.

Along with hormone fluctuations and different degrees of fatigue, take advantage of the times when you do feel as if you have a lot of energy. As I mentioned before, my big bouts of energy always came in the late evening, so whenever yours arrive, do your best to take some alone time with your husband. You may need to experiment with different positions during pregnancy to find something that’s more comfortable. The “woman on top” position was always great for us. Sit up and allow your husband to familiarize himself with your growing belly and breasts during sex.

It also helped immensely that my husband was not shy about telling me how much he adored my pregnant form. So… guys who read this blog… pay attention! Your wife may need some extra encouragement during this time in her life and you can play a key role in helping her feel beautiful and sexy while she is pregnant. Encourage her through touch and verbal affirmations. Or, give her a special “Mommy to be” gift by setting aside a time where she can focus on herself rather than the upcoming changes that you’ll both be facing.

In the grand scheme of things, gestation really doesn’t last that long, but it can be life altering, even if some of the situations we encounter are temporary. God honored us by giving us charge over our unborn children, so remember to treat yourself like the privileged vessel that you are.

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  • February 2008
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