God gave us women a wonderful little body part. It has no other known function than to give us sexual pleasure. This little nub is a source for great excitement and arousal, and it’s important that we know where it is!
The clitoris is actually larger than most people think. The entire clitoris is around four inches in length. Check out this 3-D image scan of the complete clitoris. (Video is viewed in Windows Movie Player or Quicktime) The part that we are used to seeing and touching is the glans, or head. It is that small pea sized ball at the top of our inner labia. A hood protects it. If you press back on the covering (hood) then you will see the glans. This is what most people consider to be the clit. The clitoris also has a shaft that extends downward for a few inches. This part is hidden behind the tissue of your inner labia. To see an illustration of what the complete clitoris looks like, click here.
As a woman becomes aroused, her clitoris becomes engorged with blood. That can lead to the glans increasing in size. I have indeed noticed that the more aroused I am, the easier it is to see and feel the head of my clitoris. It feels like a firm pebble. This glans has just as many nerve endings as the glans of a penis does. No wonder it’s so super sensitive! As orgasm approaches, the glans retracts a little behind the swollen hood and other engorged vaginal tissues. Then, during climax, the vaginal contractions that occur will disperse the blood that has been accumulating during arousal. It is our “come down” phase, where we bask in the afterglow. When we don’t experience an orgasm, that blood filled clitoris can start to throb or ache with the need for release. I tell my husband that it is a female version of “blue balls.” 😆
The size of the head varies. Some women (and their husbands) have a hard time finding theirs. It’s small and seems hidden away. Other women may have a glans that is visible even when they are not aroused at all. It really doesn’t matter what size the head of your clitoris is. What matters is that you know where it is, and how your body likes stimulation there. You may like direct stimulation, where your husband pushes the hood back and then uses his fingers or tongue to arouse you. For some women though, that is too much. Their glans is just too sensitive for direct stimulation. They may like indirect stimulation, where the husband rubs and/or licks all around the glans, without pushing the hood back and exposing it directly.
Have you ever looked at your own glans? You should sit in front of a mirror and check it out! Even holding a hand mirror will work. Spread your labia lips open and look towards the top, where the inner labia lips meet. You may find that you can feel it easier than see it. It may be that if you stimulate yourself for a few minutes, you will be able to see it easier. Pushing back on the hood also helps. Some women have described it as looking like a pea, a pebble, or a smooth little button or knob.
It’s a good idea for both you and your husband to be knowledgeable about your clitoris. Know where it is and how it helps you to orgasm. Have fun trying different touches to see what your body likes best!
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Christian Nymphos 
I have found your information remarkably helpful. My wife suffers from vaginismus and we have accommodated ourselves to non vaginal penetrative sexual play. Since I read your article on the clitoris, I have taken what I’ve learned into our bed. My new gentleness with her Clitoris (again because of what I’ve read here) changed our experience by creating in her a new confidence that she would not experience pain. My exploration of her, being so gentle she, after a couple of experiences, began to relax so much that she actually self lubricated. That is to us a sign of break through; since she has not lubricated naturally in many years (because of the vaginismus). She is getting treatment that will be effective, but what I learned here has fast tracked the process some. Thank you
I like that the drawing of the anatomy looks something like a HEART being embraced (if you flip it upside down).
I don’t have trouble finding my clitoris but my problem is that during foreplay I will use a viberator on it and my DH will use a viberator on himself at the same time which we both enjoy…I ask him to tell me what it feels like and it is a fun time but often I will do this for less than 10 minutes and my clit becomes numb and my lips become very swollen and it really dampens the mood for intercourse at that point. I do use gel also but does anybody have a suggestion?