Enjoying Sex During Pregnancy

Sugar & Spice wrote a great article on embracing that beautiful belly and your sexy self while you are pregnant, so I wanted to offer you some information on the physical side of enjoying your sex life while pregnant.

I really loved being pregnant and found that I felt sexy during those seasons. It was probably the season I had the highest drive, although it did come and go a bit, before I had my awakening. It helped that my husband adored my pregnant body as well. However, pregnancy is met with a lot of questions about how to incorporate your sex life into your changing body.

Is it safe to have sex while pregnant? Will it hurt the baby? What positions work in each trimester? Normally we enjoy breast play so when will my breasts stop hurting so we can enjoy that again? How do I feel sexy when I feel sick all the time? Why is my libido so low? How can I please my husband sexually and maintain a good attitude about it when I feel so tired?

As with every other issue surrounding marriage and sex, good communication and an attitude of generosity will help both you and your husband to ride the waves that come in and out over the 40 weeks of pregnancy. Talk about your expectations and feelings. If your once C cup breasts are now a DD and your husband wants to enjoy them, but it is painful for you, tell him. Tell him that they are sore now, but they won’t always be. The tenderness will subside, but the fullness will stick around. As long as he knows that he can not touch them, consider doing a little strip show for him to enjoy followed by intercourse that is comfortable for you.

If you are concerned about whether sex would be harmful at all to the safety of the pregnancy, the information I repeatedly received from my obstetrician and all the other research I did on my own was that unless your doctor has given you instructions to refrain from engaging in sexual intercourse because of a high risk pregnancy, there is no reason to abstain while you are pregnant. In fact in those last weeks of pregnancy sex may help to induce a pregnancy that you are eager to be over with, though I never had any success with it, and not for lack of trying believe me. My husband and I said we were getting our last bit of sex in as much as we could before we would have to refrain during the postpartum period.

The reason why sex may induce labor is that semen contains a hormone called prostaglandin and it works to help dilate and thin your cervix. As well, nipple stimulation releases the hormone oxytocin which causes the uterus to contract. Once you have your baby and you are nursing this will aid in causing your uterus to return to its proper, non-pregnant size more quickly. Isn’t God brilliant the way he designed our bodies!!!

Once your belly is getting bigger, you may find that certain positions you have enjoyed in the past become harder to do successfully, but we found that nearly all of them can be altered slightly to allow room for the baby. The bigger issue is that as your baby gets bigger it will affect the usual position of your cervix and the angle of the penetration may change and be uncomfortable. It’s a little bit of trial and error in learning which positions are going to work for you. Woman on top can be used pretty much as you always use it and we found that scissors or spooning could be used with quite a bit of success. We didn’t use the missionary position once I was large enough that the weight of the baby pushed on my lungs when I was lying on my back, making it difficult to breathe and causing me to become light headed. However, thinking about it now, if there was a way to prop me up more and maybe have my husband enter me from standing beside the bed that might have worked well, but I was less creative then.

It can be hard to balance a pregnant woman’s fatigue, discomfort and pregnancy sickness with a husband’s drive that has not changed at all. Again here, communication and a generous attitude is the key. Your husband will still want and need to have sexual release with you and both of you are going to need to talk about your expectations and serve each other as best you can. I urge you not to allow pregnancy to become an excuse not to have sex with your husband as I also urge your husbands to extend grace to you as your body deals with housing the creation of a human being. This season will require a lot of give and take. That is why God put families together as he did.

Often the second trimester is a great time to enjoy sex with your husband. For most people, pregnancy sickness has passed and you are feeling good about yourself. Not to mention the benefit of a really great orgasm to your psyche. This is the time to plan a romantic getaway together if you can and focus on connecting as a couple.

Before you know it your sweet baby will be here and this time will be behind you. Enjoy it as much as you can. Get lots of support from whomever you can. Don’t allow the negative people around you to effect your mood. I pray that all of you pregnant Christian nymphos will have a blessed and meaningful pregnancy.

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  • February 2008
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