Health issues and sex

We had a comment about possibly blogging about physical limitations impeding sex lives. While none of the Nymphos have any permanent physical limitations, I believe I come the closest, so I decided to tackle this subject.

I never thought that I could possibly have so many problems once my 40th birthday past. In the last year, I have had several new body problems that have caused my DH and I to evaluate and communicate that best ways to remain intimate with each other on a regular basis.

I had foot surgery first and was off my feet for about a week, and after that it was several months for my foot to be completely pain free. It’s been 4.5 months since the surgery and I do still have flair ups on occasion, but my husband still had needs (as did I!). What did I do? DH and I communicated quite a bit and tried to find positions that kept my foot far away from him when we ML. WOT was my favorite position at that time, but we had to give it up for a bit because I couldn’t get comfortable at all. We attempted a lot of variations of the missionary positions and even used doggie with my foot far away from him.

My latest health hurdle has been my sagging insides. On my last visit, I was very worried about what seemed to be a *tumor* inside my vagina. It was huge and it impeded our sex. It really hurt! Come to find out that my insides were starting to sag and my bowels were very weak and they were pressing into my vagina! My vagina is starting to prolapse a bit, too, which isn’t a very nice feeling at all. I am doing my very best to keep my bowels regulated, but we are discussing alternate positions that would help with this new problem as well.

It has been a very interesting ride, all these changes in my body, but I cannot stress the importance of communication. With every new change my body is going through, communication with my husband is the most important goal to overcoming the new challenges in our sex life. Wives, if something is painful, tell him! Try to be open to try new positions that might be more comfortable and that would accommodate physical ailments that you may have. Talk to your doctor and get suggestions for things that could help and let him/her know your concerns regarding sex. My doctor knows that intimacy with my husband is very important and I will do whatever it takes to keep my sexual relationship with my DH strong. With me, I have to deal with suppositories or stool softeners to help my bowels empty before sex. I am willing to do this for the sake of our intimacy. Health issues DO NOT have to impede your sex life. Where there is a will, there is a way, that is my motto. Husbands, be sensitive to your wife’s issues regarding sex and health issues. Mostly, both spouses should reach out in prayer to God our Father, who gave the gift on marital sex and wants you to ask for His help in regards to your health problems and your marital intimacy. Never leave Him out of the loop. He is always there willing to listen and to help.

5 Comments

  1. Another health issue to consider is ML during pregnancy. While it is not a problem for most women, for women with an irritable uterus, short cervix, fibroids, or other high-risk situations, ML is not always safe. It is always best to confirm whether or not it is okay with your OB or midwife beforehand.

  2. I appreciate your comment!

    The person who submitted this question asked if we could cover an article more on other long term health issues that could affect a married couple’s sex life. So I wrote this article to try to answer the question that he and others might have with longer term illnesses or conditions.

    We have a couple articles written on pregnancy issues in our “Pregnancy and Motherhood” section of the blog.

  3. I know this was written awhile ago, but I thought I might add something that helped me. You might want to consider pelvic floor physical therapy. It is conducted by physical therapists who are specially trained to apply physical therapy techniques to the muscles in your pelvis, and your condition sounds like something that might benefit from this. I have the opposite problem- my pelvic floor muscles are too active- but it also makes intercourse painful, and pelvic floor PT has really, really helped. The American Physical Therapy Association has a section on Women’s Health where you can search for PTs in your area who are trained in this specialty.

  4. Hi. My husband and i have been married 26 years and have 3 children. In our marriage sex has always been very important but for the last 2 years i have been living with chronic pain affecting my shoulder and right arm. Sometimes it is just too sore to do anything, even cuddle, my husband is so understanding but i get so annoyed. We do try to find a comfortable position, spooning is good, when it is more bearable and when i have a pain free night we have a fantastic time. Communication has been so important to us.

  5. my husband had prostrate cancer surgery in may 2011 and now he cannot have an erection because of this he donot want to have sex anymore until he can have an erection


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