Question: Is it wrong to masturbate while spouses are apart?

We received this question and I thought I would take a stab at it. There are always going to be times when spouses are apart. My DH and I are sometimes apart when he goes out of town to work (granted that is only 2 days, but it seems like an eternity!) or when he leaves town for a convention to better himself and his ministries at our church. Other folks are separated with spouses in the military, or spouses whose work takes them away from the home front for periods of time.

But the question we received was about masturbation to relieve sexual tension when spouses are apart for a period of time. Is it okay? The answer is yes. I know that from growing up, my religion (or what my parents called religion, we never really went to church) frowned on masturbation and I even thought it was dirty myself since I always did it in secret. But once you have married, you create a new bond with your spouse and sex is a big part of it. It is okay to miss that intimacy with your spouse.

Keep in mind one thing though…it is really easy to let temptation slip into your thoughts as well. Make sure that you’re keeping your thoughts pure about your spouse as you masturbate. Do not allow other sinful thoughts to enter into your mind. Your focus should be on keeping your drive and your libido up for the times when your spouse comes home. Even if your spouse is with you 24/7, it is still allowable to masturbate on occasion to keep your libido and your sexual desire up.


  1. I think it’s great that the two of you have figured out what works for your relationship, tractor.

    When my husband travels we sometimes incorporate the web cam. That way we aren’t really “alone” and it helps keep our visual rolodex full.

  2. I like to think up a fantasy about my husband while MB and he’s not home. Then, the next time we’re together, I share it with him. He thinks that’s a total turn-on!

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