Q&A: Sexual Significance and Low Sex Drive

1. My husband and I have been married ten years this June. So I am planning to make this tenth year anniversary a little “sexually significant”. I would really appreciate your advice. We have two elementary school age kids.


2. We had a little dent in our marriage and finances in the last couple of years and by God’s grace we are recovering from it. By God’s grace, I recovered quicker than my husband. Under the circumstances, my husband is depressed and lost interest in sex, or rather low in sex drive at the moment. Are there any ideas to make him mad after me? He loves and values me more now, I guess that’s more than enough for me…. but due to his decreased sex drive, I am kind of going out of sorts.

Happy Anniversary!!!!! A great way to make this anniversary more “sexually significant” is to go outside your comfort zone.  It doesn’t need to be anything dramatic.  Try putting a note in his car before he leaves for work and you could title it “The Top 10 Reasons I Love You”.   If you don’t usually touch, then you could try putting on a show for your husband by touching yourself while giving him a nice relaxing massage.  Want to be a bit bolder?   Why not have a seductive dinner in your bedroom and then choreograph a strip dance routine designed just for him?   I hope this short list helps.  I tried to think of activities that would be a nice addition to your husband’s memory bank without the financial burden.

As for the second part of your question, have you two talked about his low sex drive?  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what’s going on around us that we lose site of the important stuff.  Maybe that is the case with him?  It sounds like your husband knows he is blessed to have you in his life.  Do you let him know how blessed you feel to have him in your life?  Men often feel a tremendous amount of responsibility for providing for the family.  Keep raising him up in prayer.  Let him know how much you value him.    I’ve seen many situations where the husband is a  work-a-holic.  Looking back, I think they became one because that’s where they received the most validation.  Their marriage wasn’t great but they were good at their occupation so that’s where they spent their time.  I know that you didn’t say that your husband is the same but I just want to show you how important it is for them to feel validated.  I wrote a little on this in the article called ‘Sex Object’. I don’t know if all this will make your husband ‘mad after you’ but it can’t hurt.  I think we all have a fire somewhere inside us and it’s just a matter of finding out how to get from smoke to flame.  Do not underestimate the power of prayer.

Thanks for your question.

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