Position #21:Lateral Coital Position

When my husband and I first attempted this position I had a drawing and a detailed article all printed out and decided to prop it up on our headboard.  I first started in a simple ‘Cowgirl/Woman on Top’ position.   I read the step by step instructions for lateral coital, while shouting out directions to my husband.  We had one problem…..he kept popping out.  Then my husband asked to see the picture.  He said “Oh, it’s like a leg sandwich” and BINGO we did it without any hitches.


I will try to give directions in the simplest manner possible from my own experience. 

*Start in the Cowgirl position.

*Take your left leg and straighten in out behind you.

*As you are straightening your leg lean forward and press your upper body against his.  Leaning forward will help him stay penetrated.

*Have your husband put his leg on the outside of your now extended leg.

*Slowly roll to your side that has his leg on the bottom.

*Make sure your right leg stays over the right side of his hip.  This leg is great for leverage when thrusting.

*As you roll make sure he turns his pelvis slightly.

*Put your left arm under your pillow that your head is resting on and explore your man with your right hand.

The three steps that are bold-ed should be done simultaneously. 

**Warning** The following link is a realistic pencil sketch.

The picture we viewed was taken from a book called “Human Reproductive Biology, second edition” and the author is Richard E. Jones.  Click on this link to see an excerpt from the book. A search page will pop up for the book, just put ‘lateral coital’ in the search box.  You will see two options, just click on the link that takes you to page 378 and they describe the “how to’s” for this position.  The step by step instructions we tried following are here.   If you are interested in using this position for ejaculatory control I found this article.  I apologize if my article has you confused.  This position is much easier to do then it sounds.   Let me know if you have any questions.



*Very close position.  You are able to make intense eye contact.

*Gives great clitoral stimulation and if you do need more oomph a bullet vibe fits in between you and your husband nicely allowing you to be able to explore with your hands.

*If you enjoy anal stimulation this position gives easy access for your husband to do some exploring.

*This position is not taxing on either the husband or the wife.

*Hips are free to move slowly or quickly and penetration can be deep or shallow depending on what you need.

*Both individuals are able to thrust at the same time.

*Great position for ejaculatory control.

 *Good for all body types.


*View is limited because you are in such a tight embrace.

*The woman has limited access with her left arm.


Eyes Open Orgasm?

Okay, so I’ve heard about couples experiencing orgasms together with their eyes open, and it got me to thinking. I’ve never really done that. For as long as I remember, I’ve always closed my eyes at the point of orgasm. It’s just an automatic thing that my body does. I wonder why?

I’ve heard a lot about Dr. David Schnarch and his books. I will go ahead and admit here that I have not yet read his book Passionate Marriage, although I want to. This book talks about passion in marriage and different things we can do to strengthen that bond with each other, but for the purposes of this post, I am only focusing on the topic of having an orgasm with your eyes open. (The book is on my Amazon list. I’ll probably get it and write a book review on it later.) But in researching this topic, I came across a couple interviews with him in which he was asked about this topic.

In an interview by SheKnows, an online magazine devoted to women, Dr. Schnarch was asked specifically about this topic. He gave out some statistics and said that most people are like me, in that they close their eyes at the point of orgasm. Here is a quote from the article:

“In informal surveys I’ve conducted around the world, it seems that only about 15-30% of all couples have sex with their eyes open, and only about half that number can orgasm that way. This means that most people have to shut their eyes to “tune out” their partner in order to be able to orgasm.”

To read the full interview, click here.

Wow, that really makes me think. Am I really tuning out my husband when I close my eyes during sex? I certainly don’t mean to, and my initial reaction is that no, I am not tuning him out. But upon further reflection, I think I must admit that there is some truth in that for me. I don’t close my eyes for the whole duration of love making, but I do go back and forth from eyes open for a while to eyes closed for a while. And I find that when my eyes are closed is when I am able to concentrate on my building orgasm better. It’s easier to experience all the wonderful euphoric feelings that are rising within me. Is that such a bad thing?

Well, when I have my eyes open I am usually watching us. I’m watching us in a nearby mirror, or watching his body, or watching my own body, or sometimes looking in his eyes. When I connect with his eyes, I see love. It makes me want to kiss him and tell him I love him too. But those thoughts do not help me achieve orgasm. They are nice and make me feel good, but in order to achieve orgasm, usually, my mind needs other, more…raw thoughts. Not all the time though. If I know orgasm is just a few seconds away, I can open my eyes and look at him, and say or think, “I love you,” and let it happen. But, right as orgasm hits, my eyes will automatically shut again as the waves of pleasure hit.

So of course I’m now wondering about trying to keep my eyes open the next time I orgasm with my husband. For some reason this seems…a bit scary to me. How ridiculous is that? I have no problem masturbating or using a toy in front of my husband, but the thoughts of looking into his eyes while I orgasm, makes me a bit uncomfortable. 😦 I think I’ll be giving this some more thought in the future, and I know that I want to order that book. In the mean time, I really would love to hear from any of you ladies out there. Are you able to orgasm while looking into your husband’s eyes, or are you like me?

10 Ways To Embrace the Sexy Wife God Made You To Be

1. Pray for God to give you His attitude towards sex.

(This is the most important thing.

Without it, the rest won’t matter)

2. Wake up each day, look in the mirror and ask Jesus to tell you what is beautiful about you.

3. Make an effort to “think sex” throughout the day.

4. Take the initiative to plan a really romantic date.

5. Prayerfully make a list of all the things you love about your husband and give it to him.

6. Be responsive to your husband’s affection through out the day.

7. Ask the Father to give you the heart of the Shulamite Woman (for Him and for your husband) as you study the Song of Solomon.

8. Write your man a sexy note for him to find somewhere during the day; in his vehicle, in his wallet or in a bag he takes to work.

9. Initiate a hug and kiss at least once a day.

10. Wear sexy panties.

Does Reading the Christian Nympho Blog Turn You On?

We felt compelled to address this issue because we have tried to be clear from the beginning that we are here to provide useful information to married, Christian women and yet it has never been our desire to titillate our readers with our own experiences. We always research incoming links that are showing up on our stat page and in doing so we came across a woman who said she had become aroused by reading our blog and for that reason she did not feel good about reading here. We certainly applaud her awareness of what boundaries she needs to establish for her own purity, and yet it caused us to re-evaluate if we have stepped over the line.

While each of us “spice sisters” agrees that the information we are offering is an important message for the church, we do not want to set up a stumbling block for anyone. After considering our writing style we are even more convinced that for those who want and need it, our desire to provide pertinent information for women regarding godly sexuality in a respectful manner does offer something of value to the church. However, as encouraging as it is to see how many people read our blog daily, if what you are reading here arouses you in a way that takes your eyes off your spouse, it is better for you to guard your heart and chose other information to read.

Having said that, if what you read here focuses your eyes more intently on your spouse and you are drawn more closely to them because of it, then we encourage that sort of arousal. Godly information about sex spoken to a woman who is fully aware of who God made her to be in bed with her husband ought to be arousing. If she considers the idea of applying what she reads here to her own marriage and is aroused, we think that is appropriate. The line is that you are not aroused generally by something external or something that is not yours to lust after, but by your own passion for your husband (or wife, for the husbands who read here).

We know we are not going to please everyone and we make no apologies for our overt dialogue about sex, but we want to simply encourage you to be aware of your own necessary boundaries.

Monday’s Mission #12

This week’s mission is for you to talk dirty to your husband.  Even a sweet sentence like “You are so big and hard” can turn the heat up if said in the right context.  If you are both comfortable with riskier language then, by all means, feel free to go that route.  If he’s at work tell him your thoughts over the phone.  The important thing to remember is to be as descriptive as possible while also respecting his boundaries.  Paint a picture with those words…..a picture he will not soon forget.

Position #20: Doggy Variation

This variation of doggy is a nice position for deep penetration at a different angle and makes it nice and tight for the husband.

It is nice to begin by having your husband give you an erotic back massage. Use some coconut oil, light the room with candles and have some sexy or romantic music playing. After the massage you are probably both going to be ready for intercourse.

For this position, stay laying on your belly and spread your legs to allow your husband to enter you. Your husband comes in from behind as he would for doggy, but then lays pretty much directly over top of you or with his knees pressing against the mattress to give him leverage for thrusting. The wooden figures above show the man more vertical, but you can also opt to have your husband lay more horizontally and embrace you which is the way my husband and I have most often enjoyed this position.

Pros ~ deep penetration, physical closeness, simple to acheive

Cons ~ no kissing on the lips, no direct clitoral stimulation

Double Penetration

We had someone recently write in and ask about Double Penetration.  “Is it okay to do?”  “Can Christians do this too?”  “Am I wrong for wanting to try this?” DP is simply being penetrated in two places at the same time. It is usually the anus and vagina, but it could also be the vagina and mouth or anus and mouth. Some people only think of this as a “porn” activity, but I’m here to tell you that good Christian women can indeed enjoy this with their husbands, without other people involved at all.

DP is usually more appealing to women who like anal penetration. Many women have found that the nerve endings in the anus are extremely sensitive and can intensify orgasms when stimulated. The most popular way that couples can enjoy DP is through the use of a toy inserted anally, while having intercourse. The orgasms from this can be very intense for the wife. This can be achieved in missionary position if the husband has long enough arms to reach down and around with the toy. Woman on top, doggie, and sex sitting up positions give him even easier access. You can purchase a special anal plug or toy for this activity. They are usually made with smaller girth than regular dildos are.

Sometimes it’s hard for the husband to hold the toy in place though. To help with this issue, you could try a  triple stimulator. It’s a jelly ring that fits over the husband’s penis. There is also an attached 6″ dildo for anal penetration. (It’s actually pretty slender girls, so girth isn’t an issue.) Finally, it has a vibrating bullet held in place directly over the clitoris. So every time the husband thrusts, the wife is penetrated in both places, and her clitoris is tingled by the bullet vibe!

Some women may not be in to anal penetration, but still enjoy DP. It’s fun to give your husband oral sex, while he is pleasuring you with a toy down below! It’s a unique feeling to have your husband in your mouth while he is using a toy in you at the same time. This can be done while both partners are lying on their sides, or using position #19 that Spicy Nutmeg recently wrote about! We like to see who loses concentration first!

I do think, however, that this activity has the potential to become sinful for some couples. Problems could arise if either spouse struggles with lust and/or pornography issues. Your marriage bed is for you and your husband only. So if you are engaging in this activity, and your husband is giving you the most wonderful orgasm you’ve ever experienced, but your mind is imagining another man in bed with you both, that is sin. If your husband is double penetrating you, while his mind is flashing back to pornographic images that he has seen involving this activity, or past experiences where he was involved in sexual sin himself, again it becomes sinful.

James 1:14-15 (Contemporary English Version)

14 We are tempted by our own desires that drag us off and trap us. 15 Our desires make us sin, and when sin is finished with us, it leaves us dead.

The way these verses are worded in this particular version really struck me. There are many activities that can tempt you and trap you into sin. So for those of you who have a history of engaging in sexually sinful behavior involving multiple people, or a history of struggling with these types of thoughts, it may not be a good idea to pursue DP, as it could potentially trap you. I would urge you to pray about it together first.

As long as the two of you are concentrating only on each other, then your marriage bed is undefiled. This is definitely one of those things that some people really like and other people have no intention of trying at all!   There are a few threads on  The Marriage Bed that also discuss this topic, so if you are in need of more information you may want to try over there.

Question about clitoris pain and orgasm

We had a question from a woman regarding orgasm difficulties and clitoral pain as well.It is my hope in this article to be able to tackle some areas and give some ideas if you, too, suffer from this type of difficulty.

Before you go any further in my article, I suggest you read Cumingirl’s article ”The clitoris” It gives a lot of good information about the clitoris that I will use as reference in this article as well.

The clitoris is one of the most sensitive parts of the female genetalia.When I found the pleasure that could be derived from touching it as a young lady, I also found that there were times when it could become over stimulated and start to feel really odd and even hurt.This is long before I ever knew about lubrication, so much of what I did to stimulate myself was done bone dry.The Discovery Health website says this about the clitoris….” There is a high concentration of nerve endings in the clitoris and in the area immediately surrounding it.The abundance of nerve endings in the clitoris makes it very sensitive to direct or indirect touch or pressure. Stimulation of the clitoral area can be very pleasurable.”BUT what it doesn’t say is it can sometimes be painful, too.

One of the biggest things to realize is that everyone’s clitoris is unique.When aroused, the clitoris swells sometimes to twice its size.Blood flow to that area (like the blood flow to the male penis) causes this swelling.Direct contact to this area can be either pleasurable or painful depending on the type of contact.Too much rubbing directly on the clit can cause it to become desensitized and painful.One of the best things I can recommend to someone who is trying to find the most pleasurable way to stimulate your clit is to experiment with your own finger or a bullet vibe in your own spare time.Find out if your clit is sensitive to direct stimulation or does it feel better when you stimulate around the clitoris (the hood and labia areas).There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing this kind of experimentation.It will help you to later communicate to your husband when something is happening during intercourse that is not working or causing you pain.You need to know your body well down there…what feels good and what doesn’t.Be prepared to talk about what starts to cause pain.During intercourse, you may need to change to another position or maybe add some more external lube to the area.Friction is a big source of pain to that area of your body during intercourse if there is not enough lube.If you use lube during intercourse, it is a good idea to put some on the clitoris as well to keep from rubbing it raw.If you use your own natural fluids, then use a finger to gather some from your vagina and put it on your clit.

But part of the Sister in Christ’s question also included about her inability to orgasm.If you read Cumingirl’s article, women, too can get a “blue balls” kind of feeling with their clitoris when an orgasm isn’t reached.The blood can remain in an engorged clit for several hours as compared to relief in 10 minutes or so with an orgasm!Ouch!If you find that you cannot reach an orgasm or if your husband has already had his release, don’t be afraid to ask him for oral sex or for him to use a vibe on you to release the tension that you still have built up.Your husband may find it extremely erotic to watch youmasturbate in front of him to orgasm with your fingers or a vibe.This would be a great time to SHOW HIM what you have learned through your own practice!Show him what area of the clitoris that produces the most pleasure for you.After some study time, your husband will remember how to rock your world, and hopefully be open to volunteering to do this for you in the future.

Our sister, Sugar and Spice documented in her blog “I think I can” ways that helped her to achieve orgasm as well.

I have also read on several websites that clitoral pain can also be caused by vaginal secretions getting under the hood of the clitoris.I know myself that I do at times pull the hood back and use a Q-tip to gently clean away anything that has been trapped under the hood.I use a gentle feminine wash like Summers Eve or Massengil to clean when I shower.

I hope that I have somehow helped you with some suggestions to make intercourse more enjoyable and fun for you!

Monday’s Mission #11

Your mission this week is to use the same tray and blind fold as the last mission I gave you, only this time fill the tray with a selection of items to enhance oral sex for your husband. Warm hot chocolate, iced tea, Altoid mints, use your imagination. Try a sip of hot chocolate and see how he likes the warmth of your mouth on his penis. Then try some thing cold. Then try the mints and let him enjoy the tingling sensation. Provide him with a plethora of oral delights.

Position #19: Reverse 69

For this week’s POTW, I decided to choose an oral sex position that dh and I have both enjoyed together. I call it the Reverse 69. In the true oral sex position “69”, the woman is on top and the husband is on bottom.

In reverse 69, the wife lays on her back on the bed. Her husband lays on top of her, but kneels with his genitals in an area easily accessible to her mouth, while her genitals are easily accessible to his mouth. In this position, the woman can have not only easy access to his penis, but also to his testicles, his perineum, and even his prostrate! If used as foreplay, you could transition to just about any of the former 18 positions mentioned in previous weeks. Or if you are just in for a night of pleasure without vaginal or anal penetration, this is a great way to get an O for both spouses. Even maybe a simultaneous one!

Pros: This is a really great position for foreplay. Both spouses can receive ultimate pleasure simultaneously.

Cons: If the husband is very well endowed, there is the possibility of choking/gagging for the wife. Men are usually the heavier spouse, so I wouldn’t recommend laying on her, but perching yourself up on your knees.

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