It’s always an adventure to look for something new to bring a couple even closer together. So, I was thinking… why not get another book about intimacy, so we can learn even more about one another? After searching through Amazon to find something that I thought that we might enjoy, we took a quick trip to our local Border’s book store to get a hands on look. I quickly looked at the chapter titles, read the forward, skimmed a few chapters, shared some tidbits with my husband and then decided this would be a great investment for our relationship. Soon after, I ordered it from Amazon and we dove right into our latest journey together. The second couple’s book we obtained and the one that has had the most impact on our marriage has been Red-Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrell.
Red-Hot Monogamy is a book that covers all the bases so that it will be helpful to young newly-weds, those middle-aged with children and those who are enjoying their twilight years. One of the things that I love about this read is that it’s meant to do jointly. These Christian authors even ask for the readers to make an eight week commitment to stay the course of the book. But, it’s also great because they do acknowledge that not all couples may be willing or able to go through something like this and the one who can participate is encouraged to do so.
Each chapter is geared toward a specific topic on how to make your marriage and sex life sizzle. At the end of each chapter is “home work”. Now, don’t get all anxiety ridden thinking back to your days of school! Most of the homework is very fun and all of it is thought provoking, promoting the art of conversation and discussion between you and your spouse. Red-Hot Monogamy is full of practical ideas for romance as well as sensible advice for dealing with very serious issues that occasionally happen in your marriage. And it’s an added bonus to get both the male and female perspectives on different subjects. Not only do the Farrell’s give their viewpoints, but the book is sprinkled with stories from other contributors and is enveloped with ideas that are scripturally grounded.
Not only is Red-Hot Monogamy good for an eight week period, the lessons learned by reading this book will last a lifetime. I also foresee us revisiting this book in the future… reminiscing about old discussions as well as initiating new dialogue. With all the worldly information out on the shelves about how to keep those home fires burning, it’s so awesome that there are people willing to write helpful, God-centered books that encourage Christians to enjoy sex as the Lord anticipated.
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Christian Nymphos 
I agree that it is a very good book. Especially the homework ideas – very practical and doable. Another book I just read recently is “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard Harley, Jr. He brings years of marriage counseling to the table and the book is very forthright about what it takes to keep a marriage working and to stay in love.
Red Hot Monogamy sounds like a great book! Thanks for the review!
I have this book and it’s an awesome read. It’s great to find something that pertains to christian couples and not have to search within the secular world for ideas.
My DH and I have both read Red-Hot Monogamy and His Needs, Her Needs, and both are very good books. However neither really helped us get to where we needed to be.
One day my DH was listening to Dr. James Dobson’s radio show on the way home from work. Dr. Juli Slattery was the guest that day. My DH mentioned that a lot of what Slattery said made sense and he was going to order the book, and if it was as good as he thought it was going to be, he wanted me to read it after he finished reading it. I agreed to read the book.
Slattery really gets down in the weeds and lets wives know that a lot of the things that wives give husbands a difficult time about are things that husbands really can’t control, at least not by themselves. By accepting husbands as they are and by being supportive instead of being critical — husbands are better able to resist temptations.
Nothing else had worked in 20+ years of marriage including marriage counseling, so I decided to give it a try. Applying the principles in the book saved our marriage and really heated up our sex life.
The book may not have the same effect in every relationship, but it certainly helped us. The name of the book is No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex & Intimacy in Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery
I really like red-hot monogamy! I read it about a year ago when H and were just a few months into our new relationship…we had been married over 20 years but had gotten off target along the way and had just recently begun to turn things around. Anyway, I learned a lot but I felt a little awkward reading it as a couple at the time. Now I am anxious to go grab it up again and see what we can find in it together.
It’s a great resource. I especially like how they wrote it together and can give insight on how men and women look at the same situation differently. They reference a previous book called Men are Like Waffles Women are like Spaghetti and the metaphor is woven throughout the book. it is really helpful!