Wow what a topic to write on, huh?! For those of you unfamiliar with the above term, “Pegging” is the term given to the practice of heterosexual anal intercourse, where the female wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate the male. Now that you know the topic of this article, look at this email we received from a couple:
“My wife and I like to use a strap-on dildo in our play where she is penetrating me. I’ve heard this practice is growing in popularity as evidenced in self-help movies for couples and has even coined a new term called ‘pegging’. I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on this practice.”
Again, here we are with something that is not specifically mentioned in scriptures. We are left to try and decide for ourselves if this practice falls within the category of sin. Does it involve bringing another person into your marriage bed? No, unless you are watching one of those ‘self-help’ movies mentioned above (ie: porn). We have already established that pornography of any kind is sinful in nature, as it does bring other people into our bedrooms, and causes us to lust. Does it involve incest or bestiality? No, it does not. Okay, so let’s take a more in depth look at this practice.
On this blog we have talked about anal stimulation and full blown anal sex. We’ve outlined things you need to take into consideration, discussed what the bible does and does not say, and we’ve cautioned you to weigh all the pros and cons and come to a mutual decision together with your spouse. Should pegging be any different just because the man is on the receiving end?
We have an article on the female G-spot and how you can use that to help reach orgasm. Then we have another on the male prostate, and how it can also help to produce some wonderful orgasms for the men, both directly and indirectly. We talk about toys, and how they can be used to help our sex lives, by using them on both the husbands and the wives. All of these things, when done between married consenting couples, are okay. So now, what about pegging?
Some men have found that they really do enjoy direct prostate stimulation. Wives can use their fingers and/or toys to do this for their husbands. They also have the option of attaching a dildo to a harness and strapping it around themselves, to use on their husbands. When a wife uses a strap on, it frees her hands up so that they can be utilized in other ways, like stroking the penis or caressing the testicles. While this practice may seem a bit…unusual, I have to stop and ask myself, at what point (if any) does this become sin?
So a woman inserting a hand held toy into her husband in the hopes of giving him pleasure is okay. But if she straps that toy to her body in the hopes of giving him that same pleasure, suddenly people start questioning her (their) morals, Christianity, beliefs, sexual orientation, and more. Why?
I’ve heard the following arguments:
“Well it’s just not natural!” Well that toupee that your uncle wears isn’t natural either. And neither is your sister’s blonde hair that she got out of a box.
“Women weren’t meant to function like that!” Well, the mouth is meant to function as something we use to eat with. It chews our food up and aids in the digestion process. Yet many of us use that same mouth for oral sex, even though one could argue that the mouth wasn’t “meant” to function as a receptacle for a penis.
“That is like a complete role reversal and I can’t imagine God being pleased with that!” I would caution any of you who assume to know what God is thinking. Just because you aren’t comfortable with a particular act, does not mean that it’s inherently wrong or sinful.
“Any man who would want that would have to have some hidden homosexual tendencies!” This is just pure rubbish, and again just one big false assumption. I happen to love my own smell and taste, so much so that I would probably give myself oral sex if I were limber enough to do so. 😆 However, the thoughts of being with another woman and tasting her are repulsive and nauseating to me. Just because I am comfortable with my own body and within my own sexuality doesn’t mean that I have lesbian tendencies.
The most basic fact is that men do indeed have a prostate that, when stimulated, can give wonderful sexual feelings and even orgasm. Many couples describe pegging as something that builds onto their intimacy. I’ve heard one man talk about his wife’s willingness and eagerness to do this for him and how it had really brought them closer together and made him feel unconditionally loved. He valued the fact that his wife did not think he was odd for wanting this. They had prayed about it and did not feel the Holy Spirit convicting them against it, so they were at peace with their decision.
We all do need to keep a couple of things in mind though:
1 Corinthians 6:12 (NIV)
12 “Everything is permissible for me”-but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”-but I will not be mastered by anything.
Romans 14:19 (NASB)
19 So then we pursue the things, which make for peace and the building up of one another.
We need to remember that just because something is not technically a sin, that doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily good for us. God calls us to pursue the things that bring us closer to our spouse and to Him. We should be building up each other and concentrating on those things that are edifying for our marriages. There are those of us who have no desire what so ever to try pegging. It would not benefit our marriage. There are also other Christian couples who embrace pegging in their marriage bed. Whether you do or don’t engage in this practice, we all need to remember to be respectful to each other and to refrain from judgment, because we each have our own personal convictions and walk with our Heavenly Father.
I have voiced to my husband that I am open to the possibility if he ever wanted to try this. He has told me absolutely not. He is not into prostate massage and is uncomfortable with the idea of pegging. I dropped the subject and haven’t brought it back up. He made it known how he feels and does not deserve to be pushed into doing something that he is uncomfortable with. Besides, we don’t need pegging to have a hot and spicy marriage bed!
I realize that this can be a controversial or taboo topic, but I have tried to write out my thoughts and feelings on this subject in a balanced way that is in accordance to God’s word. If you and your spouse are considering trying this, then please pray, asking Him to give you clarity.
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Christian Nymphos 
Well written article, cumingirl! This isn’t an interest for myself or my husband, but I thought the article was great.
I was more aggressive with my husband and he was pretty conservative. I initiated anal play in our marriage with just touch in the shower at first. It really excited him and I willingly and lovingly give him my rear end whenever he wants me there. I told him I was pretty excited to turn things around on him and he, at first, felt obligated to oblige since I let him have me. After having him back there through “pegging” I now take his backdoor about once every other month while he takes me maybe twice a year. We both love the role-reversal aspect and he loves how it feels. It’s a spice we don’t use with great frequency, considering we make love about five times a week. Once out of 20-40 times not that often for us to indulge with our naughtier spices.
Setter I Know
I am glad to read about this topic. It has had me in a quandry in my life for years. I was raised with so much guilt and shame in even discussing sex that when my husband mentioned this type of activity (pegging{) I was dumbfounded. So many questions and emotions took over. I enjoyed pleasing my husband this way and felt that I was being immoral as a Christian and would be punished. After reading your comments and answers to this topic I finally feel set free to love and please my husband the way he and I enjoy. He describes this topic very similar to the way you have done. Thank you for helping me understand that I do not need to be ashamed of pleasing my husband the way we both desire. I feel like I am able to be more confident in my love making to him.
Okay this is definately a wierd subject and to most taboo. But my wife and I have pegged before and to tell you the truth it was a wonderful experience. I ‘m not sure as to suggest this for all, it is a moral issue. But being a firm believer, that you should try it once and see if you like it, I did. My wife is not a dominating person, “bossy” but not dominating. She has control when “pegging” and it gives dominance that she normally does not have. So with that said it opens our minds to sharing with each other the joys of experimenting. If you feel like its a moral issue, than again use your judgement, but try not to judge others for whta they do behind closed doors.
Thank you for your input on this topic. I have been curious but don’t know how to approach it with my wife so she will not get the wrong idea. (homosexual) I also would like to know if you have found certain products to be way better than others or if there are certain details that are a must for wife pleasure as well. Thanks again for helping.
Well I am the one who introduced anal sex to my husband. Now he can’t get enough. He has such incredible massive orgasms from anal stimulation, whether fingers or toys. The orgasms are so intense that he doesn’t need sex for much longer period of time than a simple penal orgasm. It has been a life saver for us since we have so little time together sexually with all the double working we are having to do.
Hey
I appreciate your site. Thanks for trying to look at things in a biblical way. Pleasing ourselves is second to pleasing others, and third to pleasing God. I though it might be good to suggest a couple of verses. First: Romans 1:24-27. I know that “pegging” is not two people of the same sex being together, but it is in the pretense of that, and the scriptures also say (1st thes. 5:22) “abstain from the appearance of all evil”. Even if we are not actually doing something, it portrays an image to anyone we speak to about it, or even the people who may get on this site.
David and Beth
David & Bethany: I have studied and written about sexuality from a biblical perspective for about six years. The Scriptural passage you mention from 1 Thessalonians. 5:22, if translated correctly, literally means “avoid looking at anything evil,” NOT “avoid all appearances of evil,” as most of us understand this passage.
am a curious husband, but can’t find strap-ons in any of the christian-friendly online toy stores. any tips on where to find one (without compromising my eyes?)
I’m actually not sure. Perhaps one of the the other CN girls can chime in on this.
I haven’t been able to locate them either on any of the more “friendly” websites. Probably because they tend to have racy packaging, etc.
I agree, that is probably a factor.
It is hard to find these types of items without having to sort through the racy packaging, however, Amazon actually has some that are displayed on mannequins. Here is one for beginners. And, they also have a basic harness that fits most toys with a flared base. Live models aren’t used for that one either.
thanks! i am hoping to approach my wife about this, but wanted to do it in a non-crass and God-honoring way.
This helps me a lot to not be ashamed of my wanting this for myself. For most of my life I have know anal stimulation was my preference. I was tormented by the thoughts that I must me homosexual in some way. Even though I know being with a man repulses me.
My wife didn’t understand why I kept having trouble with what she saw as a normal sensitivity to touch. But, like I said, I seemed to torment myself with thoughts “if it walks like a duck….”
After 25 yrs. together I seemed to reach a point of comfort in my self and I put the “I wonder if it means I’m homosexual” thing to rest. And my wife has used pegging and other anal stimulation’s to bring me so much pleasure.
I was talking God about it AGAIN, and I really felt the Lord say to me “I love what you and __________(wife) have together.
I agree with all your article said, including the cautions. In our relationship it has brought us closer than ever.
I appreciate your kind tone. But why woiuld you say it is a “pretense of” homosexuality? Why assume a straight man having sex with his straight wife is doing or thinking something gay? Last time I checked, my husband and I both have butts. I like him putting htings in mine sometimes…does that mean I am pretending to be a gay man? Of course not. (I used to stick htings up there when I was a kid, even before I cared about men or even knew there was such a thing as a gay one!)
It could mean either in Greek, just as it could in English. Context won out in the translation. It would be a true statement either way, and consistent with bibluical truth.
Some have phone numbers you caould call and order by phone. Mybe against the rules to mention, but Xandria used to have a tollfree order line.
LOL!!! I’m trying to picture a non-crass way to say “Here, honey, strap this on and…”
Manners may not be the top priority when “pegging” is involved!
This article is why I absolutely love your site. So open and no judgment. Anymore when it comes to sexual things that come up when I talk to some of the ladies at my church I am no longer judgmental of the things that they are asking about because things that we are not sure about are valid questions and NEED to be asked when it comes to their own relationship. Thank you for having a website that is so open.
Christina
Well I have got to say that I never even knew what “pegging” was until I found this site. You were running a poll on who pegs and doesn’t , would try or not, etc. When I cast my vote it was for “probably not for me or my spouse” choice. Then I decided to get educated for knowledge casts out fear and found out more about my husband’s wonderful prostate. Listen ladies, I am online right now about to purchase some toys for my man that I can use on him to stimulate his prostate. He is so excited that I would want to do that for him. He ordered a few books on how to prepare for anal sex, pegging, so that we will be informed and we will be safe and clean. I think nearly 100 percent of the husbands or wives that responded to this post said that they really enjoyed pegging. I can hardly wait to give it a try!
Hello Everyone:
I am new to this site. I just so happened upon it over the weekend. I have a strong desire to peg with my DH, but do not want to do something that God forbids and this I believe falls into the forbidden category. As we all know, there are various rules in the bible about various things and there’s one that I think particularly speaks against the act of a woman adding objects to her body that would allow her to reverse sexual roles with a man.
Please read Deuteronomy 22:5 for your own interpretation. Here’s what it states:
The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God. When I read the life application verse for Deuteronomy 22:5, it breaks it down as such:
” This verse commands men and women not to reverse sexual roles. It is not a statement about clothing styles. Today role rejections are common–there are men who to become women and women who want to become men. It’s not the clothing style that offends God, but using the style to act out a different sex role. God had a purpose in making us uniquely male and female. When you lookup sexuality in the back of the bible, it directs you to Deuteronomy 22:5.
Is this speaking of wearing strap-ons and attaching other male-like parts to a woman’s body to perform a sexual act on the male?
Please let me know your feedback. I am very interested in knowing what others think. Thank you
Honestly, the very first thing that came to my mind as I read this verse was cross-dressing…surely this went on back then (“nothing new under the sun”). God surely is not opposed to women wearing jeans and T-shirts, but would be opposed to women (or men) disguising themselves to look like the opposite sex… mocking God publicly…Disgustingly so!
When a wife pegs her husband or massages his prostate, (which gives him incredible pleasure and improves prostate health) in the privacy of their bedroom, I hardly think that the motive is to mock God and his intended creation. I don’t interpret this scripture the way you described.
This site is very clear regarding praying about sex acts that seem new or out of the “norm” and of course openly communicating with one’s spouse about them.
I imagine that many couples have lived less “spicy” lives in the bedroom (as I once did) and been happy while others want to try new things…but neither is wrong…just different. Every couple must decide what is acceptable in their own marriage bed. What is right for one couple isn’t necessarily right for another, but not necessarily “sinful” either.
I for one am very glad to have found this site. It opened my mind to think about and try new things to please my husband. My heart and motives are pure…God knows that. Some things work out better than others…some have just left us laughing ourselves silly attempting some very acrobatic position suggested here. But it was fun, healthy, good clean sex. The way God intended!
i agree! just because a man enjoys a massage back there doesn’t mean that he wants to be a woman! it’s just a way of stimulating certain nerve endings, it doesn’t mean that my dh is wishing he was with another man!
Sounds like a very legalistic approach to the interpretation. If we applied all of Dueteronomy in a legalistic manner, sex during Phase One is out, Cleansing the sheets and clothes on a daily basis during Phase One would still be a requirement.
Your husband would not be able to touch you during Phase One. Were the Pharisees considered righteous for being legalistic toward the law?
The very nature of the question goes to the heart of the matter… is the behavior out of love and nurturing to your marital relationship? If the behavior destroys your relationship with your spouse… then it would be against God’s Will. If the behavior increases intimacy and openness, a deeper loving relationship, a relationship built on faith rather than fear, then it is within God’s Will as is supports and nurtures a marriage between one man and one woman.
Here is one that uses a live model, but is actually modest. http://www.amazon.com/Grrl-Short-Harness-Large-Extra-Large/dp/B00163EQJG I use this one and my DH and I both enjoy it because it is not too outrageous. I even used my sewing machine to make it crotchless! It has been a fun give-and-take experience for us.
I was so thrilled to find this article! For years I’ve known that my husband would love anal stimulation. Only once have I ventured into that area with him and he really enjoyed it. However, I was young and newly married and scared to death that he must be secretly homosexual. This prevented me from ever trying it again. After 15 years of wedded “bliss” I know without a doubt that he is heterosexual!! He has no desire to be with a man sexually but, that area (his anus) is so sensitive! For the past few months I have had a desire to please him in this way. I know he would love it and I honestly believe it would bring us closer together. Due to childhood sexual abuse I tend to have some shame when dealing with sex. This site (and alot of prayer) has really helped me to have some healing and see that sex with my husband and our desires for one another are so natural! It has really helped me to “discover” him in a whole new way. I finally feel as if I can truly share my body with him.
Thank you so much for your honesty and straightforward approach to the Christian Marriage bed! I will be praying about it and let the Lord lead me….thank you for the info in this article!
You are such a brave woman! Me and my husband have been involved in pegging since long before I knew there was a name for it!
It seems strange that people think this is a “gay” practice. If I can receive pleasure that way why in the world would I deprive my DH of the same experience if that is what he desires from me?
I’m going to speak up on this article bc this idea is something my husband and I have flirted with. I’m not sure if this is the right place for my question but I will try: currently i do a little manual stimulation just on the very outside. He has told me he is fine with me going deeper but I declare his spincture feels so tight i’m afraid of hurting him. For any wives who have stimulated their husband’s anus with their fingers, is this resistance normal? Do I just “push” past it? (we use lube…and so far i’m only trying with my index finger) I’m very cautious bc I know it only takes one bad experience to ‘ruin’ something. I could see us getting to the point of pegging and really enjoying it. I want to make sure that I approach this the right way and not scare him away from what could be an incredible experience for both of us!
Truthfully when my DH brought this up I was shocked and revulsed by the idea. It seemed to me to be an act outside of what was moral and it was just weird. But, when I began looking into Pegging I soon came to understand that women for hundreds of years have discovered the magic you can give your DH through Pegging. It was a little odd the first time and I had difficulty with it for several days after. My DH, God love him, encouraged me to try again and I was reluctant but then decided “what the heck”. That evening I wore jeans and underneath I had the harness on. After a while I hardly knew it was there and about an hour before bed I attached the dildo to the harness and wore it under my jeans to get the feel for it. When I came out of the bedroom with my new friend in place I stood in the kitchen and asked my husband if he noticed anything different. Did he ever!! By the time we got to bed I was so comfortable with the strapon and harness that I could hardly wait to get out of my jeans and pleasure my DH. This was the best thing I ever did and now completely at ease and in control. My DH has NEVER been happier. Our sex life is now so much more fun that we have this option and he never knows what might be lurking under my skirt or jeans. Go for it ladies! It’s empowering, does not violate the guidance of the Almighty and will become so fulfilling for you because you will finally know you have something with your DH that is so intimate that it cannot be replicated.
Thank goodness my husband has never brought this up. I’d hate to be repulsed by anything that might please him but this creeps me out a bit. I love to please my man and I do please him anally, I am the one who introduced this to him. I use finger, fingers, toys of all sorts, and have even gotten him comfortable enough to do it to himself that not only rocks his world but mine. I find it amazing to watch as he grows more aroused slowly abandoning all inhibitions. The progression is thrilling and I can barely get enough watching his uninhibited pleasuring. And oh my goodness the pressure it (along with loads if oral) has taken off of me to have sex more often (intercourse), I get so darn raw when we have intercourse to often. So I have NO Problem with providing and being a part of anal sex with my amazing husband, it is the wearing of a “penal looking” device that creeps me out.
We have strap ons that we use on me to increase my pleasure so I have tried them on just for the heck of it. Creeeeeeeepppps me out! That thing dangling out there away from my body. And some of you ladies added that you wear it under your clothing like a guy?? I never ever ever want to feel like a guy I am all female and cannot imagine why you’d want to do that. I am not knocking it, I am more curious as to what’s up??? Maybe I get the strapping it on pleasing your man but making more like you are a guy? I don’t get it? I am fairly opened minded but that has to be a bit odd? I also get being pleasured anally and especially seems to do wonders for men but would he not feel creepy as well if it was to male oriented (the female acting butch)? I do hope someone will address my questions, I am extremely curious about this.
I’m not sure the whole wearing the strapon thing was meant to be male. Just to get comfortable and “get a feel for it”. My DH is 100% man throughout, but he loves when I peg him and he seems to get a very intense release from it. The strapon frees your hands and his to increase stimulation in other areas. My DH that after we do this his desire for IC is even stronger. I think because the prostate orgasm releases so much tension that he bottles up. God willing all you who are interested or have a DH who is will try as I know our intimacy has gone way up since.
My DH brought this up to me a few months ago and my first thought was no way. I am fairly open minded but this just seemed to stretch my ability to accept. After several discussions and lots of praying I concluded that my DH deserved me to pleasure him and if it meant using a strapon then I should at least try it. I told him I wanted to and asked him to buy what we needed. When everything arrived by UPS I was a bit reluctant. But I opened the box and found the harness and strapon and went upstairs and put it all together and tried it on. It was a bit odd but I soon found myself standing at the mirror showing off to myself. That night was wonderful. After dinner and a movie we went upstairs and lit candles and snuggled foe a while getting each other pretty worked up. I knew this would become a wonderful part of our marriage bed. We now do this maybe once a month and our intimacy has gone through the roof since.
wow, now my fear of going to hell for being into this is reduced haha
thanks a lot 😀
I am just curious about if this is actually physically stimulating for a woman to also come from. I mean, I can appreciate that simply giving your husband pleasure and the new appreciation for being the dominant giver but can a woman actually orgasm from this? Are there strap ons that allow for a lot of stimulation for the woman or can the husband somehow please the wife when she is giving this to him?
Zing, double sided ones do the job! Need to pick up one that can hit the Gspot as it will remain stationary inside you.
My husband brought this idea up to me about a month ago, and I didn’t take it very well. We had a good conversation, but I have continued to think about it and why the idea of it bothers me, as I tend to be pretty free in our marriage bed. Doing my daily Bible reading a few days ago I came upon the following verse and wondered if you could comment on it. While the verse itself seems pretty unrelated, the note seemed spot on.
“A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this.” Deuteronomy 22:5
The notes from my NIV bible explain it this way, “This verse commands men and women not to reverse their sexual roles. It is not a statement about clothing styles. Today role rejections are common- there are men who want to become women and women who want to become men. It’s not the clothing style that offends God, but using the style to act out a different sex role. God had a purpose in making us uniquely male and female.”
I realize that in Christ we are free from the law, but generally speaking things that are detestable to the God of the OT are still detestible to Him today and it seems that pegging would definitely fall into the category of sexual role reversal. Any insights?
This is the reason I do not personally feel comfortable with pegging. I do not feel strongly enough that I would say it is definitely sin, but it may be. I believe that pegging is embracing opposite sexual roles and I know for me personally, God has put a red flag on it.
See, in looking at the original article written by Cumingirl, you can see that even between the three of us sometimes we need to lovingly agree to disagree. 🙂
I do believe that what is a “sin” for one may not be a “sin” for all according to New Testament, as sin is anything that interferes or takes precedent over our relationship with Christ. If one already struggles with gender identity or past homosexual experience, I could see how this practice could cause a separation in one’s relationship with Christ.
However, I do not see pegging as wanting to appear as the opposite sex at all. My personal conviction of that scripture is it being in regards to those who view themselves as transgendered or transsexual, those who will say ” I’m really a woman and I was born in the wrong body.” or women that tape down or have their breasts removed and take hormone therapy to “pass as a man.” Men who have their penis and testicles removed and breast implants to pass in society as a woman. Attempting to alter your gender is in essence saying “God got it wrong, He put me in the wrong body. I know better than Him and I will correct His mistake.”
Pegging is between my husband and I in our marriage bed. As I lay with my husband in fishnets, high heels and a bustier… no one would confuse me for a man b/c of a tiny little strap on!!! The “strap on” is merely a tool that allows my hand not to cramp and to be able to see and touch my husband everywhere and anywhere he wants me to while also stimulating his prostate.
As long as I’m not putting on tighty-whities with a fake moustache and asking my hubbie to call me Bob, then me and God… we are tight!
Great article. Good comments, Lilah; I only disagree with the very last thing you said.
I clearly disagree, Im sorry but if god wanted women to have a penis he would have given us one
Good for you! I know my husband asked for a butt plug that also stimulates his prostate. I love him too much to turn down something like that. He knows what he needs. I’m more than happy to help him get there :).
Wow what great insight. I had never seen it this way. I’m actually uncomfortable with oral sex because it is the way lesbians have sex. When I was pregnant I would occasionally have those weird sex dreams and inevitably end up with lesbian ones at the end of the second trimester and during the third. They made me so upset at first but I learned they are somewhat normal. Still I don’t like DH doing this because it reminds me of those dreams. I find myself going back to them when he’s performing oral sex and feeling horrible after-wards. In some ways I feel so sexually free, and I’m learning how afraid I am in other ways.
DH has mentioned wanting me to touch his anus during sex and I’ve always thought it was some kind of gay fantasy. After reading this site I think we have things to talk about.
So we talked about “pegging” last night after the kids were off to bed. I told him I wanted to make love in the shower and that it would include trying out his anus. He smiled so big I could hardly see his ears:) I decided the best thing to do would be to give him an all over scrub paying special attention to his chest, penis and butt. When he was all clean I was so turned on. While performing oral sex on him I wrapped around and started playing with his anus and his penis got even harder. It was amazing. That’s enough detail, maybe TMI.
Thanks everyone for their posts. I’m not sure about the whole strap on dildo thing but we’ve certainly made progress. And I love that I’m fulfilling my DH’s desires.
I have so much I want to reply to here. So many great comments. But, I just wanted to quickly chime in and say that what you wrote and what you guys experienced is so beautiful, Jane. I’m so very happy for you both. It’s perfectly OK to enjoy our bodies in ways that feel good (so good!) and are acceptable to both partners. God made the prostate and made it such that you can stimulate it through putting a finger inside a guy’s anus. That wasn’t an accident. He wants us to enjoy each other and find pleasure in each other. There is no shame in any of that. You gave your guy a wonderful gift. Again, so happy for you. Enjoy!
I had been considering pegging for about a year after my DH brought it up and receiving new posts on the subject from CN since. After reading Kate’s post I realized that was me. The revolution in our bedroom was all for me – new positions, toys, etc. My DH: left out in the cold.
Well that changed Friday night. I bought a double-sided strapon (Feeldoe) and some other things. When he got home from work he went up to shower for our dinner date. When he went to his dresser for clothes he found a note from me along with a disposable enema and a butt plug with instructions to clean and insert the plug.
Dinner was much fun and there were a lot of “those looks” between us. Ww rushed upstairs and made love, but I told him not to orgasm (I did). I got up and went and put on my strapon and returned. His eyes got as big as golf balls and he had a huge grin. Well, we did it! Boy did he have a powerful orgasm. It took me a bit to get the rhythm down, but once I did we were golden.
I’m not sure exactly what my hangup was for the last year, but I’m definitely over that now. Giving my guy that level of pleasure was such a turn on we did it again Saturday night 🙂
All I can say is think of the huge pleasure you’ll give him and go for it. Did I mention that we made love Saturday morning and again this morning which he initiated? We never do that anymore. He kept saying he felt so connected. We won’t do this all the time but maybe two or three times a month as a treat 🙂
Well done! This kind of creative thinking helps us know our desires and can help us move forward in a positive way.
A couple of weeks ago I was helping a girlfriend move. While upstairs packing I opened her nightstand and there was a strapon staring back at me. She walked by at just the same time and smiled and said “isn’t that a beautiful bling harness”. Later that afternoon she explained that her husband had been on the receiving end for several years and it was very fulfilling for of them.
That night I told my husband about it in bed and was shocked when he said “they have all the fun”. Wow that wasn’t what I expected. We talked more and he told me he had wanted us to do it but didnt know how to bring it up. Well there it was so I began to research it over several days and decided to buy a strapon.
His reaction to being pegged was really hot! He truly enjoyed the pleasure it gave him I was really turned on by his response. We now enjoy this regularly and both feel our intimacy has gone way up. I encourage you to talk to your husband about this because he has probably already gone there.
A few questions:
1. How long does it usually take a man to come pegging?
2. Just like for women and anal sex, is it necessary to take a while to get to pegging with a gradual increase in size of girth with the strap-on/toy/Fingers?
3. What are the best positions for
pegging?
My husband and I enjoy butt play on a regular basis. I was turned on to the idea by a small group leader one Thursday evening when we ladies meet for our weekly devotional. Since then he has been gradually requesting that we find wider toys to use in this practice. My concern is that I have noticed his initial curiosity has intensified, and now it seems that this type of foreplay is the only way for him to reach a full erection. Not only that, but his anus is visibly wider, to the point that I can actually see up there! 0.o
After he asked me last week to use my entire hand (what he called “fisting”) I became alarmed that this might pose physical/moral threats, as I am worried this kinky play has graduated to something darker for him. Where did we go wrong? Is enjoying pain something which might run contrary to scripture? Is it possible that he has chosen to start down the path of homosexuality? I have been praying about it all week as he continually pressures me to do this act.
Any advice would be appreciated and of course I will continue to pray on this.
I just recently got married 2 months ago. I was a virgin. My husband is much (much, much) more experienced than me, he has told me he slept around alot before getting saved (many years ago).
We have a good sex life.
He has talked about wanting to do pegging and anal sex and other things that make me feel uncomfortable and turn me off. I’m careful not to say anything condemning, I tell him I’ll need more time to try new things and adjust, since I never even had sex at all before our wedding night.
I’m afraid that if we do pegging, he won’t want to have normal sex with me anymore, since guys apparrently like it so much…
If you’re not ready for it, don’t do it. Sex isn’t supposed to be uncomfortable, but enjoyable and pleasurable. Try other things out before that, just to see what you are comfortable with.
You never know, it could be something quite enjoyable for you as well. Give it a try if ever you’re ready, and if you feel comfortable with it, then great! If you don’t, try other things. Your husband will understand.
I can’t answer all of your questions, but I can certainly help ease your mind about your husband being gay. It is perfectly normal and natural for a man, gay or straight, to enjoy anal play. There are many nerve endings in the anus and it is a gateway to the prostate. No matter what a man’s sexual orientation it feels good. Homosexuality is not caused by having your anus stimulated any more than eating at a Chinese buffet causes you to be Asian. (And, as any doctor and/or Psychologist will tell you, as well as any gay person, it is not a choice to be attracted to members of the same sex any more than it is a choice that you are attracted to your husband.)
And one final thought, there are many, many gay men who don’t enjoy being on the receiving end of anal sex. It’s not a gay/straight thing, it really is just a matter of what feels good to each individual.
I can’t tell you if your husband is a masochist, or if this is turning in to an all-consuming fetish. No one on this site can tell you that, you need to talk to him. I can assure you though that your husband is not “turning gay”, and if on the off chance he actually is a closeted gay man it has nothing to do with anal play. (I was engaged to a gay man once, and it broke my heart, so I fully understand how scary the thought can be, but you really don’t have to worry about something like that.)