Eyes Open Orgasm?

Okay, so I’ve heard about couples experiencing orgasms together with their eyes open, and it got me to thinking. I’ve never really done that. For as long as I remember, I’ve always closed my eyes at the point of orgasm. It’s just an automatic thing that my body does. I wonder why?

I’ve heard a lot about Dr. David Schnarch and his books. I will go ahead and admit here that I have not yet read his book Passionate Marriage, although I want to. This book talks about passion in marriage and different things we can do to strengthen that bond with each other, but for the purposes of this post, I am only focusing on the topic of having an orgasm with your eyes open. (The book is on my Amazon list. I’ll probably get it and write a book review on it later.) But in researching this topic, I came across a couple interviews with him in which he was asked about this topic.

In an interview by SheKnows, an online magazine devoted to women, Dr. Schnarch was asked specifically about this topic. He gave out some statistics and said that most people are like me, in that they close their eyes at the point of orgasm. Here is a quote from the article:

“In informal surveys I’ve conducted around the world, it seems that only about 15-30% of all couples have sex with their eyes open, and only about half that number can orgasm that way. This means that most people have to shut their eyes to “tune out” their partner in order to be able to orgasm.”

To read the full interview, click here.

Wow, that really makes me think. Am I really tuning out my husband when I close my eyes during sex? I certainly don’t mean to, and my initial reaction is that no, I am not tuning him out. But upon further reflection, I think I must admit that there is some truth in that for me. I don’t close my eyes for the whole duration of love making, but I do go back and forth from eyes open for a while to eyes closed for a while. And I find that when my eyes are closed is when I am able to concentrate on my building orgasm better. It’s easier to experience all the wonderful euphoric feelings that are rising within me. Is that such a bad thing?

Well, when I have my eyes open I am usually watching us. I’m watching us in a nearby mirror, or watching his body, or watching my own body, or sometimes looking in his eyes. When I connect with his eyes, I see love. It makes me want to kiss him and tell him I love him too. But those thoughts do not help me achieve orgasm. They are nice and make me feel good, but in order to achieve orgasm, usually, my mind needs other, more…raw thoughts. Not all the time though. If I know orgasm is just a few seconds away, I can open my eyes and look at him, and say or think, “I love you,” and let it happen. But, right as orgasm hits, my eyes will automatically shut again as the waves of pleasure hit.

So of course I’m now wondering about trying to keep my eyes open the next time I orgasm with my husband. For some reason this seems…a bit scary to me. How ridiculous is that? I have no problem masturbating or using a toy in front of my husband, but the thoughts of looking into his eyes while I orgasm, makes me a bit uncomfortable. 😦 I think I’ll be giving this some more thought in the future, and I know that I want to order that book. In the mean time, I really would love to hear from any of you ladies out there. Are you able to orgasm while looking into your husband’s eyes, or are you like me?

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  • May 2008
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