Sex and Intimacy Questions to Consider With Your Future Spouse

Intimacy questions
What does intimacy mean to you?
Read and discuss The Five Love Languages. Determine what love languages you and your future spouse speak.
Do you think it is important to continue dating after you are married? If so, how often?
Do you find it hard to ask for and extend forgiveness to others? To yourself? Do you find it hard to receive God’s forgiveness?
Do you know how to discuss differences of opinion in a respectful manner?
Do you and your future spouse view issues such as sex, finances and family planning in a similar way?
Sexual questions
Read and discuss a book such as Sheet Music by Kevin Lehman or Red Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrel.
What is your plan for your first night together? Do you want to try to have full intercourse the first night?
Do you know where the hymen is located? Do you wish to have it broken prior to your first night by a gynecologist or to break it together on your first night?
Is lingerie exciting to you?
Are you comfortable with your body? How do you feel about being naked?
What kinds of birth control options do you have and which one would you like to use to begin with?
How often do you think it is reasonable for a married couple to have sex?
What type of lubrication do you wish to use if there isn’t enough produced naturally?
Which sexual practices do you see as sinful?
Which sexual practices are you uncomfortable with performing even though they may not be sinful?
What are your views on giving oral sex? What are your views on receiving oral sex? Swallowing semen?
What are your views on anal sex?
What are your views on the use of sexual toys, such as vibrators?
What are your views on masturbation while you are together?
What are your views on masturbation while you are apart?
What are your views on manually stimulating each others genitals?
Have you participated in any masturbation until this point in your life? How do you feel about it?
What are your views regarding sexual activity during menstruation? Is it to be avoided completely? Should only intercourse be avoided?
Do you have any sexual sin in your past? Have you received God’s forgiveness for it? Have you prayed and broken the soul ties with those partners if intercourse was involved?
Do you have any sexual abuse in your past? Have you processed the pain (through counseling if necessary) and become free from its power over you?
Do you have any fears regarding sex?
Are you aware of the process of how a female becomes aroused and responds sexually? Do you know where the clitoris is? Do you know what it does?
Are you aware of the process of how a male becomes aroused and responds sexually?
Are you aware that there is often a time difference between how long a female needs stimulation and how long a male needs stimulation in order to orgasm?
Why is foreplay important?

Others of you may be able to add to this and I would welcome you to leave your suggestions of further questions to explore in the comment section. Thank you.

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  • July 2008
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