Dealing with the Mess


I am a Christian wife who loves sex. I am willing to be adventurous and am happy to have sex many places and many ways… My husband (20 yrs) has always been rather “uptight” about sex – he didn’t like it when I was pregnant or nursing or menstruating, and the “mess” has always been a problem for him. He is however dissatisfied with our sex life and wishes we would have more sex. I can’t figure out what/how to work through this with him – he doesn’t seem inclined to talk about it… Can you offer suggestions?



It sounds like your husband has some aversions to bodily fluids.  While reading this I was wondering if he was having issues with only your fluids or if it carried over to his own as well?  Does he not like to please you orally because of the mess?  The vagina is very clean.  Much cleaner then the human mouth.   Natural lubrication is needed in order to have intercourse and as long as you do not have an infection it should not be an unpleasant smell.  As for having sex while menstruating, I can go over some options.


The easiest, quickest way to cut back on the “mess” would be for him to wear a condom.  The condom would contain his ejaculate.  If a condom is out of the question then you could always put a stack of towels under you to avoid creating a wet spot. I have heard wonderful things about the liberator throw.  It is comfortable and cleans easily.  Try having some baby wipes nearby.  After the two of you have sex you could clean him up and make it a positive sexual experience instead of a “get this gunk off me” scenario.  If you want to engage in intercourse while menstruating you may want to look at the article spicy Nutmeg wrote on “Instead Softcups” and/or the one Cinnamonsticks wrote on “The Diva Cup”.  Both are menstrual cups. They stop the blood from flowing down.  The diva cup can be used while he manually stimulates your clitoris without the worry of blood. A woman who is nursing can look into purchasing some nursing pads like these.  They can slip into her bra and the absorb milk from the breast.


Those are just a few suggestions.  I have not had to deal with this issue personally so hopefully some of our helpful readers can chime in and share what worked for them.  I really hope that your husband comes to a place where he can talk to you about this issue.  You are certainly a blessing to him for seeking a solution with limited communication.  I’ll be praying for you.



  • Click here
  • August 2008
    S M T W T F S
  • Archives