Spanking, For Pleasure?

We have heard from several of you, asking about spanking. “Is it okay that I like this?” “Is it wrong for Christians to do?” “How do you feel about spanking?” Well, that kind of depends. If spanking is being used as a form of discipline or punishment, (as sometimes seen in the “Domestic Discipline” lifestyle) then I do not agree with it. That is a separate article in itself and will be addressed at a later time. If the spanking has become a fetish, then again I start to have red flags going up in my head. We will also have an article devoted to fetishes at a later date. But for the sake of this article, let’s just talk about the occasional, consensual swat to the backside during foreplay or sex between a husband and a wife.

Many couples have discovered that the occasional “spank” can be a turn on, and why not? There are many things that we do during foreplay, such as kissing, caressing, rubbing, nibbling, licking, stroking, massaging, etc. All of those things feel good to us, and arouse us. Some women are also very aroused to feel a half-hearted smack to the rear, or a smack and massage to the buttocks. It can add to the excitement and get the adrenaline pumping!

There are sexual positions that allow for it as well. Woman on top is a good one, where the husband’s hands can easily wrap around to the wife’s bum. Reverse cowgirl may be another one. And, of course, there is rear entry, where the wife’s hinny is right there for the taking! Don’t forget that we women can dish it out too! Missionary or CAT position are both nice positions where our hands can wrap around and reach our husband’s posterior.

Giving a “love tap” from time to time does need to be mutually agreed upon by both spouses. It is not a positive experience when a husband does this to a wife that isn’t expecting it, or vice versa. So make sure that you are communicating your desires and expectations to each other. If one of you is uncomfortable with this, then don’t pursue it.  There are several reasons why a person may not like this kind of play.

I’ll end this article with one word of caution. Make sure that you both are able to fully enjoy sex without feeling a need to spank. If you have to use the spanking in order to become aroused or enjoy sex, then you are crossing over to the fetish arena, and that isn’t healthy. So as long as you both feel the freedom to experience this or not experience this, when you make love, then have fun!


  1. My husband and I have been married for 7 months, an it wasn’t until recently that he asked me if he could spank me occasionally. He loves my behind, and had this secret desire to spank me, which I never knew about until he asked me if he could give me a good swat. He was so excited when I said yes, and now a day rarely passes that he doesn’t give my bare butt a good swat or two. He feels kind of naught and always has a huge grin plastered on his face after I ask him to do it again. I don’t think that spanking is something he and I do to turn us on, but more to be playful and keep things fun AFTER sex.

  2. I think spanking is pretty fun! I definitely stay out of fetish or S&M territory, but sometimes a little rough housing (a spank or 2, maybe even a little light hair pulling) can be really arousing. Probably because I like to get really physical, but I’m ticklish beyond words, so light caresses sometimes really distract me and I usually prefer more aggressive and firm touch. My husband doesn’t mind if I do the same back to him, but he doesn’t seem to get quite the same excitement from it that I do.

  3. I think spanking is fine provided there is no punishment, domination or things like that. With us it leaves a really close feeling like they know everything about me and what I like and still love me. I do find it very arousing and it always leas to great sex in other normal ways. To add I don’t really understand this fetish thing. If one doesn’t get into punishment or domination scenarios (even in your head) there shouldn’t be a problem. I find it just jells in with the rest of the sex one is enjoying. A glorified massage really.

    If you want to make sure always end with IC, or a least 95% of the time.

  4. yeah. he gives me the “love tap” : )

  5. I am so glad that I found this site. I have beena Christian since I was 7; and I’m married to my wonderful Christian husband for 4 1/2 years now.

    I love to be spanked (it’s a relief to actually be able to openly admit to that) – though I don’t need a lot to do the job. For me, it is such a great stress reliver (no stress= relaxed enough to give pleasure back to him).

    Though I wish my husband would offer to do it when he notices that I’m getting overly stressed out at work; he never turns me down either. He doesn’t necessarily get into like I do, but he accomodates b/c he knows that I need him in this way… he does, however, get very excited about how much it makes me very excited – and the rest is obvious. 🙂

    Again, I’m very grateful for this site… I would not be able to open up like this without you.

  6. Spanking was always something I viewed as a means to stop bad behavior. I’ve since learned that spanking can be a motivator for positive behavior. My dearest DH is the best example. He is a fine, loving and very successful man that has difficulty “tracking” during the week. We have taken to working through his week by starting out with a series of tasks he must accomplish. At the end of each week we review his performance on the tasks and then I deliver a spanking to reinforce his positive performance of the tasks. This is highly stimulating for him because it seems to release all the stress that builds up during the week and allows him to ready himself for the next week. We have found this to be very positive because I am not disciplining him for negative actions but praising him for his positive performance. Our life in the hom is so much calmer that it had been in previous years and our sex life is in the stars. We are 14 year married Christian couple and believe strongly that it is the responsibility of Christian couples to assist their spouse in whatever way possible to improve their daily walk. Just think, Mom or Dad gave you a good spanking when you needed correction, so why not do the same for your DH when he does well? In Christ, Wendy.

  7. I think it’s kinda weird for a wife to spank her husband. Husbands should be the leaders of the home, in my opinion.

  8. Methinks there is some fantasy going on here

  9. The way I view this kind of spanking, it definitely falls under fantasy and kink. Hubby and I don’t employ it, but he does get a kick out of giving me the athletic butt slap when I hug him then walk away. He can’t get enough of it ;).

  10. OK – I love getting spanked! It’s fun, feels good and I wish he would do it more! And I wish he would do it a bit harder! But I dont want to completely freak him out!!

  11. I think spankings are perfectly fine as long as it’s all about fun.Personally,I love to be spanked and I’m not ashamed to admit it! No panties for me,I want them off! I love it when my husband pulls my panties down to my ankles and puts me over his knee and gives my bare bottom a light spanking.Not too hard,but enough where I can feel it and it feels good.It gets me excited which I really enjoy.We don’t do this all the time,but we do it more often than we used to because it adds an extra level of fun and excitement.

  12. Yeah I am also ticklish and prefer a firm touch, deep tissue massages, tugging on the hair, love taps

  13. I can’t believe I’m admitting this but i Spank my husband. Not alot but three or four times a month. He loves when I take control and so we have “in charge” days where he wakes up to a list if things to do and will often have a pair of my sexy underwear laid out that he must wear all day (this keeps super stimulated all day). That night we review his performance if the list and then it’s over my knee for a ten or fifteen minute spanking. Then he must service me which i can drag out as long as i wish. A little kinky? Yes. But I say why not. He gets a real thrill out of it
    as does ordering him around kinda turns
    me on.

    We have a great sex life four or five times a week after ten years of marriage. Neither of us must have this to get excited but it’s a really fun diversion. I say bottoms up and good luck sitting the next day :-))

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