Position #32: X Marks the Spot

In this position the two of you will form an x shape. You may have done something similar with your husband on top, but in this one the wife is on top.

To get into position, have your husband lie down on his back and get on him as you normally would for woman on top. Then straighten out your legs so they are parallel to his. At this point rotate your body to the right or left of him and set yourself up so that you are in form to do a push up. You may prefer to keep one of your legs in between your husbands or to put both your legs on the outside of his. The latter will cause the two of you to make an X shape.

This position allows your husband to fondle your breasts, rear and other body parts easily. With you doing most of the work, he can lie back and just enjoy you.

Dealing with the Mess


I am a Christian wife who loves sex. I am willing to be adventurous and am happy to have sex many places and many ways… My husband (20 yrs) has always been rather “uptight” about sex – he didn’t like it when I was pregnant or nursing or menstruating, and the “mess” has always been a problem for him. He is however dissatisfied with our sex life and wishes we would have more sex. I can’t figure out what/how to work through this with him – he doesn’t seem inclined to talk about it… Can you offer suggestions?



It sounds like your husband has some aversions to bodily fluids.  While reading this I was wondering if he was having issues with only your fluids or if it carried over to his own as well?  Does he not like to please you orally because of the mess?  The vagina is very clean.  Much cleaner then the human mouth.   Natural lubrication is needed in order to have intercourse and as long as you do not have an infection it should not be an unpleasant smell.  As for having sex while menstruating, I can go over some options.


The easiest, quickest way to cut back on the “mess” would be for him to wear a condom.  The condom would contain his ejaculate.  If a condom is out of the question then you could always put a stack of towels under you to avoid creating a wet spot. I have heard wonderful things about the liberator throw.  It is comfortable and cleans easily.  Try having some baby wipes nearby.  After the two of you have sex you could clean him up and make it a positive sexual experience instead of a “get this gunk off me” scenario.  If you want to engage in intercourse while menstruating you may want to look at the article spicy Nutmeg wrote on “Instead Softcups” and/or the one Cinnamonsticks wrote on “The Diva Cup”.  Both are menstrual cups. They stop the blood from flowing down.  The diva cup can be used while he manually stimulates your clitoris without the worry of blood. A woman who is nursing can look into purchasing some nursing pads like these.  They can slip into her bra and the absorb milk from the breast.


Those are just a few suggestions.  I have not had to deal with this issue personally so hopefully some of our helpful readers can chime in and share what worked for them.  I really hope that your husband comes to a place where he can talk to you about this issue.  You are certainly a blessing to him for seeking a solution with limited communication.  I’ll be praying for you.



The Humor In Sex

When is the last time you laughed during sex? For me, it was two days ago. My husband followed me into my walk-in closet and closed the door behind us. I laughed as he told me that we had not ever done the deed in my closet before. I then giggled some more as we went about trying to find positions that would accommodate us in my cramped closet! 😆

I personally think that a healthy sex life should have some degree of humor in it. I’m not saying that you should laugh every time you do it. I do realize that there are times for serious emotional lovemaking. However, there is something to be said about the couple that is able to occasionally let loose, and not take themselves so seriously all the time.

I treasure those times when my husband is playful with me. And he loves it when I’m in an adventurous mood! Trying new positions is one thing that will usually get us laughing. Sometimes the positions just don’t quite work out the way we think they should, and we end up rolling with laughter!

Other things that have gotten us to laugh have been costumes and role-playing stuff. I remember once, when my husband even wrote me a short script. Every time I got to this one particular line, I started laughing so hard, and couldn’t stop. It took several “takes” for me to say it halfway right. We have it on video, and now when we watch it, we giggle and remember how much fun that was.

I could go on and on and on here, listing tons of examples of when we have laughed in our bedroom. Those are special times between us that we’ll never experience with anyone else. That is the beauty of marriage. But I would love to hear from any of you out there. What role does humor play in your marriage bed? How often do you laugh with your spouse behind closed doors?

A Tale of Two Wives: Leah and Rachel

Genesis 2:8 gives us the groundwork for what God intended Man to be like. He placed the man he created in the garden to care for it. The animals were there and Adam named them all, but no suitable helper was found for him. So God placed the man into a deep sleep, took a rib from his body, closed the area up with flesh and used the rib to create woman. He brought the woman to Adam. Genesis 2:24 is infamous in weddings… “ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Remember this verse as we go through today’s bible story.

Today’s story starts with a deception. In Genesis 27 , Jacob deceived his father and received his older brother’s blessing. Esau held a grudge, so Jacob fleed his home for his mother’s family in Haran. When he got there, he saw some shepherds watering their flock. He inquired if they knew his uncle, Laban, and they did and directed him that Laban’s daughter, Rachel was approaching to water her father’s flock. He helped to water his uncle’s flock and told Rachel that he was a relative, so she ran to tell her father. Laban was thrilled to see Jacob and let him stay there in his home.

Here’s where it gets interesting (Genesis 29:14) ….Jacob started working for his uncle. Uncle Laban wanted to pay him for his work and asked what he wanted for wages. Well, Laban had two daughters, Leah and Rachel. Leah was said have “weak eyes” and Rachel was beautiful. Now whether or not Leah had poor vision or maybe her eyes didn’t sparkle as much as her sister’s, Jacob’s choice was the younger sister, Rachel, to be his wife. Jacob agreed to work for his uncle for 7 years in order to get the hand in marriage of Rachel. Laban agreed, and Jacob worked there for Laban for 7 years. Jacob was really smitten with Rachel, so it was like days to him before those 7 years were up.

But Uncle Laban had a problem. How could he possibly marry off his younger daughter when the older daughter was still not married? So after preparing a marriage feast for everyone, he sent Leah into Jacob’s tent. When Jacob awoke the next day, there in his tent was Leah!

When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?” Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.” (Gen. 29:25-17)

I can imagine there was one very unhappy Jacob to have been deceived by his family. But he agreed to work for his uncle seven more years for Rachel. But unfortunately for Leah, Jacob loved Rachel more than him.

Let’s stop for a moment here and look at this scene. Here are two sisters. The Bible doesn’t really tell us what kind of relationship they had prior to this. I know that I have a IRL sister, and we are the best of friends, but what would it take though to change that relationship….maybe to have her given to the man I love? Maybe to be married to the same man? I mean, you’ve gotta admit, women are wired for relationships. I crave the attention that my husband gives me. I am his helpmate, but I do have needs, relational needs (not just sex, but yeah that kind of relational need as well) that only he can fulfill. So here are two sisters. One is loved and adored by her husband and the other one, well, she isn’t her sister.

We are told in Genesis 29:31-35 that the Lord had pity on Leah because she was unloved and opened her womb 4 times. Listen to the names of her sons and what she said after they were born…

1. Reuben: It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.
2. Simeon: Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.
3. Levi: Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons
4. Judah: This time I will praise the LORD

Can you feel her pain after her first 3 sons were born? She was so craving the love that her husband wasn’t giving her…thinking that bearing him sons would make him love her. How sad!! I think after #4, she decided it was time enough and she needed to praise the Lord for the children she had been given. At that point, the Lord became her husband. He was giving her the love that she needed.

What about Rachel during all this time? She was barren. Yup, the one Jacob loved with all his heart and soul, could bear him no children. How ironic. At first she blames her husband for not giving her children. It isn’t his fault. They are having sex! Jacob warns her not to compare him to God. It is God that will give her the children. So history is about to repeat itself. Do you remember Sarah? How she decided that God’s time wasn’t good enough and she gave her servant to her husband. Well, Rachel did the same! She gave her servant Bilhah to her husband and Bilhah gave him two sons. Look at what Rachel said after the birth of her maid servants two sons.

Dan: God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.
Naphtali: I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won

Right there….the last one. The exact reason why God intended one man and one woman to be married. It’s in plain black and white. The race is on to see who can create the most children to make Jacob happy.

So do you think Leah took this well? Nope. She gave her servant, Zilpah, to Jacob. Zilpah bore 2 sons.

Gad: What good fortune!
Asher: How happy I am! The women will call me happy.

It didn’t stop there either. Reuben brought his mom some mandrakes from the field. Rachel wanted some and Leah accused her of taking her husband and now she wanted to take the mandrakes, too? Rachel sold her right to bed Jacob that night to her sister in exchange for some mandrakes…..Issachar was born from that union. Leah also bore another son, Zebulun. She also bore a daughter, Dinah. Are you keeping score?? Leah 9 Rachel 2. God did finally give Rachel her own son, Joseph. Genesis 35 tells us that Rachel bore one more son with great difficulty and she died after Benjamin was born.

What’s the moral of this story? I don’t think that it matters that the two wives in this story were sisters, honestly. Think about how women are wired. We want the sole, undivided attention of our husbands. I don’t want to share my husband with another woman and I definitely don’t want to share my marriage bed either. Marriage is meant to provide the following… partnership, spiritual intimacy, and the ability to pursue God together. (Carol Heffernan: “God’s Design for Marriage” FOTF) Remember that Genesis 2:20 tells us that no suitable helper was found for Adam. So God created woman out of man, and He created the first marriage…one man to one woman. Genesis 2:24, once again identifies a complete marriage as one man and one woman, heterosexual, monogamous, and a complete union of those two people. Jacob learned the hard way with two women fighting over his love and attentions. It just wasn’t God’s design for marriage. One more thing that you may or may not realize…do you remember the genealogy for Jesus in the last lesson? Judah, the son of Leah, was in the Messianic line. Not Rachel’s sons. So in the end, God honored the marriage of Jacob and Leah in the line to our Savior.

Monday’s Mission #23

Your mission this week, should you choose to accept it, is to surprise your husband by pulling out a family board game you have like Monopoly, Twister or even something like Candy Land and playing it in a sexy way. Set up new erotic rules that will require articles of clothing to be removed or certain acts to be performed based on how the game plays out. Have fun making your foreplay last a little longer in this way and enjoy lots of flirting with each other. If you have kids and end up picking one of their games, I guarantee that playing that game as a whole family will from now on have an extra point of delight as you remember the fun you had playing it with your husband.

Our Search Box



We have received several emails and comments lately, from people asking if we have information on certain topics. For your convenience, we have moved our SEARCH BOX to where it is easier to see and use. It is now in the upper left hand corner of the blog.  You may type in any topic or keyword that you are interested in, and then hit the word under the box that says SEARCH.Any articles we have that deal with that subject or that contain that keyword in it, will be listed for you.

This is a useful tool for our blog, because we have so many articles written on several different topics now.Some of our articles may date back several months, and so they are harder to dig for and find using the archives or calendar.  

So, if you can’t find what you are looking for using our categories on the right, then make use of the search box in the upper left corner.If you still cannot find the information you are looking for, then feel free to write in to us using our Got Questions box.Thanks!

Position #31: The Lap Dance

This is a unique combination of rear entry and woman on top that I really like to do! It’s pretty easy to remember the name, because it is as if the wife is sitting in her husband’s lap, as seen above. The above picture was taken from sexpositionspics.com

To get into position, the husband will need to sit on the side of the bed or on the sofa with his legs together. The wife faces away from him, and stands over his lap, with one leg on each side of him. She then lowers herself onto him, as seen in this picture. The wife is in control here because she is the one who is going to be pumping herself up and down on her husband’s lap. He can just sit back and watch her move. He can place his hands gently on her hips or on the bed/sofa beside him.

To change things up a little, switch leg positions. The husband can open his legs while the wife brings her legs closer together. This can make things somewhat tighter.

Pros: The husband gets to see his wife take control! He also gets to see her backside as she rides him.

Cons: The wife’s thighs may get sore and she may tire after a few minutes. This position doesn’t allow for kissing or cuddling.

Learning to Orgasm through Finger Stimulation

I am wondering if it is possible to learn to orgasm in new ways?  I know it’s possible, but any ideas on how?  I’d love to be able to just with his hands/fingers so that way if we are somewhere not so secluded I still could.  I’ve read from others how they have, but except for a couple positions I tend to not get aroused. It is exciting and almost euphoric but why wasn’t there more?  I know this is wrong that I even know this, but as a teen it would have drove me crazy!  I am only 34…….it surely can’t be my age, can it?



I think that many of us have our “safe positions” that allow  us to achieve orgasm.  When we try to stretch our boundaries we almost need to rewire our brain.  When you are home try to reach orgasm without using a toy so that you can try to ‘train’ your body to respond to touch.  Frustration can be a real mood killer so if you start to feel frustrated then use that safe position or a toy to bring you to orgasm. If you are trying to be intimate in a new setting, such as outdoors, it really takes some focusing on relaxation and shutting out other stimuli.  If you are comfortable touching yourself then I recommend you taking the reigns those first few times.  Either use your own fingers so your husband can see what feels good or put your hand over his and guide them.  Try having your husband whisper exactly what he plans to do to you to keep things simmering.   

Just like everything else, practice makes perfect.  The article called ‘Clitoral Stimulation’ lists some ideas for you or your husband to use for arousal.  Much of what we do in regards to sex is trial and error.  The more you do it the better you be at sensing what arouses you. Keep in mind that the types of orgasms you have may vary depending on where you are in your cycle. I do not think it is an age related issue.  From what I hear things will get better with age because you know what makes you tick.  Just think how much better you will know your body 5 years from now!!


It’s So Hot!!!!

It’s really hot, and I’m not talking about the sexual energy you’ve got going on. I’m talking about the actual temperature. Summertime is a great time to enjoy things like camping sex, spicy getaways, and even having sex somewhere semi-public, but it also can be hard to get in the mood when the temperatures start to reach their peak. The heat can make us feel lethargic and uncomfortable which can often cause us to wish no one would touch us. So how do you keep things spicy in the bedroom when you’ve had enough of the heat?

One option is to find a private place to go skinny dipping and cool off together. You could also hop in the shower together and have the water on the cooler side. Also, making the effort to initiate intimacy at a cooler part of the day like first thing in the morning or late at night can help. If you live in a part of the country that is excessively warm, you are probably fortunate in that you likely live in a home with air conditioning. Then you can just choose another time to get busy than when you have first come in from outdoors.

On the other hand, maybe you are the type of person who enjoys having sex when you are hot and sweaty. Perhaps it adds to the experience for you. Go for it!

One thing I love about the hot weather is all the great clothing for summer. They are the clothes that make me feel sexy. Skirts, cute shes, flirty tops. And when I make an effort to look good, I feel better about myself which makes me want to be close to my husband. And the visual impact is not lost on him either. 8)

You might even choose to wear that cute skirt without panties sometime while you are out with your husband and let him know at a private moment during your date or the classic, slip them off and into his pocket when its appropriate.

Summertime is good for lovin’ in many regards, but the hot temperatures are a challenge sometimes. If you have other tips for beating the heat feel free to comment, as always.

Rahab: How faith saved her

This story has always been one that has kind of confused me, but I understand it a whole lot better now. It is a wonderful story of faith from someone deep in sin.

This story begins in Joshua 2:1 ” Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. “Go, look over the land,” he said, “especially Jericho.” So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there.”

Wait….back up a minute. The stayed where?? These men came into Jericho to spy on the city and stayed at the home of a prostitute?? The second half of this verse always makes me think of James Bond…I mean, spy work is hard work and he always got the girl, right? Well, when I was a baby Christian and I read this chapter in the Bible, I was like, whoa…surely she wasn’t a real prostitute. I wonder if she was just a single mom who owned a small little inn or cottage. Nope, she was a prostitute. See, Rahab’s house was built into the outside wall. This means, she and her family owned no land or property. The only way she might have been able to earn money for the well being of her family may have been to prostitute herself. Think about girls and women these days that prostitute themselves. Why do they get into prostitution? Well, I looked through several different translations of this verse on Biblegateway, and she is either referred to as a prostitute or a harlot, so we must take the Bible at it’s word. She was living a life of sin. Why did those men hide out in the home of a prostitute? We don’t know that either, but somehow, they were found out and the King of Jericho sent his men out to look for them, and they came looking at Rahab’s house.

What does Rahab do though? I mean, she is a Gentile. The Israelites had plans to take her city. She just handed them over, right? The Bible tell us “But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them.” (Joshua 2:4-7) She hid the spies on her roof and she lied to the authorities who were searching for them. Why? She was a believer. At the end of v. 11, she tells the spies “for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below”. When Rahab had heard of the Red Sea being parted, and what happened to the two kings of the Amorites, and the other things the Lord had done, she became a believer in God. She knew that God had a plan to take this land. She and the spies made a pact that if she told no one of them, they would spare her life when they returned to take the city. She let them down a rope from her house to the outside of the wall and told them to hide in the hills for 3 days. She was told to keep the scarlet cord of the rope they came down on out her window there and to have all her family in the house when they came and they would all be saved. They could not save anyone outside of the house.

When Joshua and his people came to Jericho to over take the city, after the walls fell, Joshua told these two spies to go find Rahab and bring her and her family outside of the city. ” (Joshua 6:23-24)

Now why in the world would these spies save a prostitute and her family? That was always my question. Surely they weren’t in need of her services, but one day the Lord showed me something … take a look in Matthew 1
Abraham was the father of Isaac,
Isaac the father of Jacob,
Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,
Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,
Perez the father of Hezron,
Hezron the father of Ram,
Ram the father of Amminadab,
Amminadab the father of Nahshon,
Nahshon the father of Salmon,
Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab,
Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth,
Obed the father of Jesse,
and Jesse the father of King David.”

The prositiute Rahab is in the genealogy of Christ!! Can you see that no matter what your past is, no matter what your sin is, God can still use you? Do you see Tamar’s name in that genealogy? She tricked her father in law into getting her pregnant when he did not give her his youngest son to fulfill his familial duties to provide his brother (her deceased husband) an offspring? God’s precious only son had very sinful ancestors in his lineage. God uses whom he chooses.

Okay, how does this fit in now with this blog. It’s quite obvious that Rahab did live a life of sin. But her faith is commended in Hebrews 11:31 “By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.” Sure she lied, but she is commended for her faith, and it is her faith that saved her not only from the fall of Jericho, but also from the pit of hell. Salmon must have forgiven her as well, since she was the mother of Boaz, and we all know and love the faithfulness of Rahab’s daughter in law, Ruth. God uses whom He chooses. He had a bigger plan for her, just like he has bigger plans for us. The bible does not give us any insight into her life with Salmon after the fall of Jericho. Rahab shows us though that our sin shouldn’t cloud our future. You have a future with your husband and God has a plan for your life. How has God used you? Who knows what plans He has for you, but God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Don’t let your past cloud your faith or your outlook for the future. Did you read Cinnamonstick’s blog on Shelley Lubben? There is someone who truly has been set free of her past and is totally a tool in God’s hand. Will you let God use you as a tool, too?

I think our next story will be about Leah and Rachel…and why God only intends marriage to be of one man and one woman…..

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