Q&A: Oral Sex = Teenage Fantasy?

“I am afraid for her to perform oral sex on me.  In my mind I feel like I am a perverted middle age man trying to live out some teenage fantasy.  I don’t like it.  I love to give her oral pleasure, that is first and foremost.    I wonder if I am now lusting my wife and not loving her. I don’t ever want to do anything that may hurt her but I am at a point where I am torn.”

Let me start out by saying that oral sex is NOT just for young people. Sure, you may have had some fantasies when you were younger, but everyone knows that oral sex is better when you are older! 😉 My husband told me just the other day that I was pretty good at giving oral when we first got married, but that I’m so much better at it now. He’s right! I have years of experience under my belt and I know what he likes and dislikes. I firmly believe that the older we get, the better we get at sex. Just think of how awesome we wives will be when we are 75! 😎

You say that you love giving her oral pleasure and it’s important to you. That doesn’t feel perverted to you does it? Somehow I doubt it. My guess would be that you feel good knowing that you are pleasing her, and that you like expressing your love to her in that way. So what makes receiving oral sex different? Your wife likes what you do for her, so why can’t you sit back and accept the gift she is giving to you? It makes me wonder if she has said something negative about it herself. If that is the case, then maybe you two need to sit down and talk specifically about oral sex and your expectations and desires.

You bring up lust, and in most cases it is a bad thing. But in marriage lust is permissible! I most definitely lust after my husband, and there are times that I swear I can see the lust in his eyes for me. Your desire for your wife is natural. You are supposed to crave her and want her. God joined you two together and with marriage comes the wonderful gift of sex. It sounds like you truly love your wife and just really want to be assured that your desires in your marriage bed are okay. I will stand up right now to say to you that oral sex between a husband and wife is perfectly okay! You are most definitely not perverted for wanting it.

If you are feeling torn then my advice to you is to pray specifically about your sex life and to have a heart to heart with your wife. How about reading the Song of Solomon together? It’s such a beautiful book of the bible that is a testament to how loving and incredible sex is supposed to be between a husband and his wife. You can also post a prayer request on our prayer request page if you feel led to do so.


  1. I don’t know about your wife, but I’d be hurt if my DH didn’t want me to do this with him. I enjoy giving him this pleasure.

  2. Don’t allow yourself to keep your wife from satisfying you. It sounds like you are very attentave to her needs and I am sure she reaps the rewards. She just wants you to have a little of the variety that you give her. As wives, we enjoy it. We don’t give you the same supper every night, so why have the same sex every night?

  3. Interesting comment the gentleman poses…regarding the issue of him pleasing his wife orally as acceptable but not vice versa.

    I asked my husband about this and it seems to be that the general thought among men is that women dont necessarily enjoy sex as much as men and especially not giving oral sex. Therefore most guys think their wives are just doing the deed for them and not enjoying it at all…and most loving husbands dont want their wives doing anything that isn’t enjoyable. I love that about good husbands – their focus is always in keeping their wives pleased sexually at all times.
    But heres the kicker – not all women are sexually repressed and dead!!! Praise God for that and praise God for sites like this that help those women who are, to come out of that burdened lifestyle and enjoy the gift God has given them in their husbands.
    So as a wife if you do enjoy sex, most likely you enjoy giving your hubby some oral loving….husbands, dont deprive your wife of giving you that love – and if you’re not sure if she enjoys it, just ask her….you might be surprised by the answer!

    My husband was very happily surprised to find that I enjoy giving as much as receiving…and actually get turned on by the act itself. I find it terribly erotic to give and moreso just love his “member.” We laugh about it cuz he says women usually think men look hideous but I just love when he teases me with “peep shows.” I lov eto touch “him” and kiss “him” and well, you get the idea. But I must say that my husband is extremely attentive with me both in and out of the bedroom….that just ensures that I’m always in the mood! Lol…
    He does find it quite the ego boost when I enjoy him orally….men too need to feel desired sexually. They need to know their wives find them attractive and irrisistable, and that includes their man package, lol…for lack of a better word! I feel there’s a connection to how a man is treated sexually by his wife to how he portrays himself in other areas o fhis life – I think it’s a huge confidence booster knowing he is loved deeply in several ways, not just emotionally and spiritually, but even sexually.

    Bottom line – let your wife enjoy you orally….let her lust after you and continue lusting after her! It’s what keeps your home fires burning…just read Song of Solomon and tell me they weren’t lusting after each other?!?!? And tell me they didn’t enjoy each other orally?!?!?

  4. I love giving head to my hubby and it probably is something he fantasised about as a teenager. But I bet he never thought it would be as good as I give! So go for it. Let your wife gift herself to you in this way. She will love how much pleasure it brings you.

  5. We girls fantasize about our weddings, cooking for “him”, making “his” home lovely, taking care of “his” babies, and being attractive to “him” way before “he” has a definite face. And that doesn’t make any of those things, when fulfilled wrong because they were dreamed of before marriage, so don’t let that keep you from letting your precious bride fulfill your fantasies. :-). I met a lady recently that is extremely happily married to a man old enough to be her father. She said her mother used to say, ” Better to be an old man’s darling, than a young man’s slave.”. She took it to heart and is the envy of many with how dolled up she and her children always are. She is SO happy! I’m very happy for you! Let her show you how much she appreciates your provision and care!!!

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