Position #43: The Tie-Me-Up Tango

This position is for all of you who have that daring side. That drive to try new things, even though it may sound odd. In this position, you are not literally tied up, but you are kind of immobile to a certain extent, because your legs are pinned.

For this position, the wife gets into position just like the above picture, except her hands/arms can just relax. You start by just kneeling on the bed, with your feet behind and under you. Then just lay back. You may decide to leave your feet directly underneath your thighs, or you may prefer to move them out slightly.

Then the husband can enter just like most man-on-top positions, however he is comfortable. The wife’s pelvis will be elevated in this position, and her back will also be arched somewhat, putting her breasts in a different position than usual.

Pros: This position is really erotic for the wife who likes to feel slightly out of control during sex. It raises the wife’s pelvis so that clitoral stimulation is easy to achieve.

Cons: You need to be pretty limber for this one ladies. Your thighs may burn during sex and will probably be sore afterwards if you aren’t used to bending your body like this.

Keeping Those Glorious Breast Healthy

This is not going to be one of our hotter articles but it is just as important.  October is ‘Breast Cancer Awareness Month’ and one of the more important things you can do for yourself is to regularly do a self examination on your breast.  Get to know them and make note on what feels normal and what does not.  If you do happen to find a lump in one breast, then check the other one.  If that breast is lumpy as well then it may just be the way your breasts are normally but I would still mention it to a doctor to be safe.  Some symptoms are lumps that enlarge over time, inverted nipple, nipple discharge, nipple rash, cyst, or breast pain.  These self exams are more efficient if they are done when you are not experiencing premenstrual symptoms.  Here is a site that explains how a self examination is done, click here.  Please be diligent about mammograms as well.  If you are 40 years old or older or have a family history of breast cancer then you should be having them done.

 I have a couple of women who I am very close with, one is a survivor and the other is presently getting treated for breast cancer.  Both of them thought that this would ever happen to them and it made me realize how much I took being healthy for granted.  Please, take four minutes out of your day and get to know your breasts.  Catching these signs early is so very important!!

Q&A: Sex During Menstruation

We received a question from a reader asking about our position on God’s laws regarding having sex during menstruation. The reference for this law can be found in Leviticus 15.

As a bit of a disclaimer I want to say that the points I make here are not meant to persuade anyone from a conviction you have about this issue. If God has convicted you to abstain during menstruation, then you should.

Here are some of the things to consider as you discern how much, if any, physical intimacy you will have during your period.

First, the main issue to me is that there is a separation between laws that the Lord gave us for health reasons and laws he gave us for morality. Restrictions He gave for the purposes of health ought to be followed if you feel convicted about them, but we are not under the law anymore. God said that we should not call anything unclean that he has said is clean and when Christ died for us, all our uncleanliness was removed from us. By way of an example, my husband follows a lot of the food laws because after researching it we learned a lot about why God established those laws, but his conviction to avoid pork and shellfish is not connected to a moral conviction. It is because he learned more about how to live a healthier way. In our research about these health laws we also learned that when a woman is menstruating, sex increases the chance for infections. This would logically be the reason why God told the people to abstain during a woman’s period. As the CN Spice Girls were discussing this question, Sugar and Spice was telling us that she was also taught in her Human Sexuality course in college that it is best to abstain during menstruation. So if you are striving for ultimate health there are legitimate reasons to avoid intercourse during your period.

Having said that, if you were to authentically follow this law as it is written, along with other things, you would need to sleep in a separate bed as your husband, not touch in any way, and if your husband were to come in contact with any belongs that you also touched during your period he would need to be cleansed and would be “unclean” until the end of the day. Remember that they didn’t have the sanitary products that we have now. When they were bleeding there weren’t a lot of options for containing the blood. When God says that she will be “unclean” at this time, he really meant it. No toilets, no tampons, no pantie liners, no diva cups. She really was unclean. Physically, not spiritually. Which is the difference between a health law and a moral law.

The belief that this law is saying that women become spiritually unclean during their period has causes us to think that having a period is something to be ashamed of. Our period is a normal and necessary function that God designed our bodies to go through in order for His creation to continue to advance. It doesn’t make us spiritually unclean. If we believe that having our period requires by law that we not have genital contact, we need to follow the whole law which involves a lot more. I don’t want to put that burden on anyone. I do not see any reason to stop pursuing intimacy during the weeks that the Old Testiment says a woman is “unclean.”

For some women, having an orgasm can really help with menstrual cramps and discomfort. If you do not wish to have intercourse there are some outercourse alternatives which will allow you to have an orgasm and these are also ways for you to bless your husband with an orgasm when you can’t accommodate intercourse because it is simply to uncomfortable.

The bottom line is that if you are comfortable and especially if an orgasm helps relieve pain, I am not opposed to women having some form of sex during their period. I do not see it as a moral sin, but please feel free to discuss this further in the comment section.

God created the first Nympho: Eve

Lately, my mind has been on legacies. What kind of legacies will I leave behind for the future generations, not only in my family, but also in life. I’ve been a Sunday school teacher for children for many years which I truly love. I hope I have had a small part in molding a child’s life and belief in God and the Savior in Jesus Christ. I’ve taught in public schools and in preschools. I hope that in some way, though religion is being tossed out of schools faster than trash on the last day of school at your local high school, I am through my own walk, planting the love of God in someone else’s mind. I know I look back and wish there was a way to say thank you for people who were just in my life as examples, that even though they may not know it, they really showed me through just being who they are that God loves me and I am really grateful that He put them in my life.

This topic has brought my mind back to the First Lady of the Universe…Eve. When you think about Eve what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Yeah, I bet in two seconds flat, that incident with the serpent popped right up, didn’t it? Can you imagine if somewhere down the road, someone thought about you, and all they remembered about you was your sin? I would hate that! I have to ask Eve about that someday when I meet her in heaven. There is so much more to this past First Lady, so let’s see if we can learn something from her today.

Genesis 2 introduces us to Eve. Adam had a problem. All the animals in the garden had a mate. There were male and female of every living thing in the Garden of Eden, but a suitable helper could not be found for Adam. (Gen. 2:20b) It must have been a pretty lonely job, and a pretty hard one at that. But God realized that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so He caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (Gen. 2:21-22) That’s pretty incredible if you ask me. Man is always missing something that only woman can fill. So when he awoke, he called her woman, since she was taken from man.

So there they were, in the garden, naming animals together, naked and not having a care in the world. Why would they? God provided every good thing that they needed, but he did provide one rule. That should be pretty easy, right? Only one rule? Gosh, I feel like I am trying to follow so many rules daily, one rule would be easy, right? Okay, can’t talk on my cellphone in the school zone….check. I can make a right turn on red, but I have to stop first….check. Can’t say the Lord’s name in vain….I am at about 98% on that one (sorry, even I am not perfect) I definitely don’t steal….wait, oh yeah, I did steal a tootsie roll from my daughter’s candy bag….oops. But they are SO GOOD, right? It should be okay, right?

Okay, so rules aren’t as easy to keep as we think. But Adam and Eve had only one rule…do not eat from the tree in the center of the garden. That should be easy. There are so many other trees with fruit in it that is good to eat, that shouldn’t be too hard, right? But strolling near that tree one day, maybe looking at the fruit, maybe it is pretty to the sight, maybe it had some morning dew dripping off it that made it look really juicy and appealing….we just don’t know what triggered it, but Satan took that opportunity to entice Eve. The serpent was a very sly animal. He would say to Eve, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”….(Psst. Serpent….he said only ONE tree…but the serpent knew what God said.) But Eve answered him back, saying “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ “ Wait, wait, wait…I don’t remember God saying that…let me thumb my way back to see what God really told them….God said, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.” Do you see the difference in God’s rule and what Eve said God said? He didn’t say that you couldn’t TOUCH it, you would die….He said if you EAT it, you would die. There is a difference. It’s kind of like when I was in my late teens, early 20’s….being unmarried then, but sexually active, I always thought, “If I got pregnant, my parents would KILL ME.” Of course, they wouldn’t really kill me. They might be disappointed in me, but I’m not losing my life over it, but isn’t that what we girls think? I can’t tell you how many teens I have heard say “Don’t tell….my parents will kill me.” Where does that come from? Well, Eve was no different. God was her creator, and she knew that if she just thought about that fruit, she was dead meat. But the serpent goes on suggesting to her, “You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Ooooooooh. Now there is appeal….. (hehe)….I will be like God. When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Wait, wait, wait, wait….They’ve been naked all along and there was nothing wrong with it. Why is there a modesty problem now? What all of the sudden has made them think that nudity is bad? This is where I got my problem from. I, too, admit to modesty problems. I have never liked to see my body nude from, well, I couldn’t tell you how long ago it was. I don’t know when it became an issue. I kind of envy my daughter. She thinks nothing of being naked. She’ll get naked when the doorbell rings, actually running around the house in panties when there are guests in the house. But her Mama, I just can’t sleep naked with the man of my dreams. Why? Eve’s legacy…that’s it. It must be Eve’s legacy.

The next part is why we are called children of God. Cause when you make a bad choice, and Papa comes around, you run and hide. That’s exactly what they did. God knew what they did. He knows everything. So he calls out to them, “Where are you?” (He knew where they were) and Adam says, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” God replies back, like the gentle parent that he is, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

And here it comes. I know I used it as a kid…my kids use it. The blame game! “But Mom, everyone else is doing it!” “Brother made me do it!” Only God’s children start blaming each other…. Adam says, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Yeah, it’s her fault and it’s your fault, too, God since you put her here. Eve squirms and comes up with an excuse, too…. “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Ah, free will. God gave us choices. There are good choices and bad choices. But of course, we can’t make a bad choice…we need to blame it on someone else….or something else. You know, I did it cause it was a full moon. Yeah, right. So God, being the good parent, must give out consequences to his children. There’s a consequence for the serpent, there’s a consequence for Eve (which is passed down to ALL of us women…yikes!) and Adam was punished as well. It was at this point that Eve got her name….being the mother of all humanity. And they were expelled from the Garden forever.

So, Eve’s legacy. She’s the one who gave me those awful labor pains!! Is she responsible for the horrible menstrual cramps I get, too? You know, for the longest time, I really did put that on her, but ya know what. I have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, just like everyone else has. I can’t blame her for the bad choices I made and that I still make today. If she didn’t make the first mistake, someone else would have. We may be made in God’s image, but we are not perfect like God is. And I thank Him daily for sending His Son, Jesus Christ, for saving me from my sins. I love listening to my daughter memorize her verses from Awanas. I see all these verses again with fresh new eyes as she learns them and the light bulb goes off in her head…..Romans 3:23 was her verse tonight…”for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” and it reminded me, that yeah, Eve’s legacy is always at the forefront of our minds, but someday, mine will be, too. There is nothing I can do to earn favor with God. No amount of goodness will allow me to enter heaven after my death because of all my poor choices. The one and only way is to be forgiven through the blood of Jesus Christ. Ephesians 2:4-9 tells us, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” The only way past our own sin is through Jesus Christ. Believe in him, and you will be saved.

When you think of Eve’s legacy or if you think of your own legacy, think of Christ’s legacy. It is our own, if we only believe. I want my legacy to be like Christ’s. Do you?

Monday’s Mission #34

Your mission this week is a bold one.  I want you to wait until your hubby is on the phone talking to someone, and then proceed to give him oral sex!  Give him the “Shhhh!” sign by placing your finger up to your lips, and then proceed to undo his pants and go to work!  As he is talking to whomever, look up at him and grin.  Watch to see how difficult it is for him to continue his conversation.  He’ll wonder what in the world has gotten into you!  So keep your eyes open this week to see when the opportunity will present itself…

Position #42: The Short Stack

This position is another type of “Reverse Cowgirl”.  

  1. The husband lies down on his back in bed (or wherever).
  2. The wife then gets in the Reverse Cowgirl position, where she is on top of him, but not facing him.
  3. From there, the wife then reclines so her back is on her husband’s chest/shoulder area. This may be     done easiest if her legs are extended parallel to his legs.

 Things to consider:

  • If you’re looking for hot and heavy, then this position may not be for you since actual hard thrusting will not be achieved while lying down.
  • If you’re looking for slow and sensual, then this position will be for you since it will be all about being in the moment.
  • This position allows the hands to roam freely over each others bodies.
  • Also, The Short Stack allows for up close, intimate conversation even though you are not face to face.

Sleeping Nude

Satin. Cotton. Flannel. Whatever kind of sheets you have, most of them feel best when you sleep in them naked. Whether you like the sleek feeling of satin or the coziness of cotton, there is nothing like slipping into your bed with nothing between you and the sheets.

Of course it is conducive to a higher frequency of sexual encounters with your husband, but even if you don’t end up having sex, cuddling before falling asleep is nice too. If you do not make a nightly habit of sleeping nude, it can be a clear signal to your husband that you are hoping for some action when you do make that move. Sleeping nude also allows for middle of the night sex to happen more readily. You may not prefer to be awakened for sex which is fine, but it allows for sex to happen first thing in the morning more easily as well.

For women who are concerned about sleeping nude and having children calling for you at night, keeping a robe draped over the foot of your bed is a simple solution to that issue. You can just grab it on your way out of the room if you are called.

Some men have found that sleeping completely nude doesn’t give them the support they need for their testicles. Many of these men choose to wear their boxers to sleep in. You might also find that wearing your undies or some shorts is a good solution during your period.

If you haven’t tried sleeping nude, you might give it a try for a week and see how you like it. However, in fairness to your husband, if you decide to try it be mindful of being available to him sexually because the likelihood that it will be arousing to him is very high.

How do the CN girls do it?

“I was just curious. I love my husband, and we have a great relationship.
I do not have the same sex drive as he does. I work full time, have teenagers, house, church, and all the other things that take my energy and time.  I am curious how the Christian nymphos have the time and energy they are investing.  It sounds like they are having sex 6 and 7 times a week, Wow, where do you all get the energy and the time?”

Well, we all get up at 5:30am and shower thoroughly, shave all crevices, brush our teeth, and apply perfume and/or sweet smelling lotions. We then sneak back into bed smelling all fresh, where we proceed to wake up our husbands up with oral sex.  After morning sex, we go make a three-course breakfast for our families and send everyone off to school/work. We attend aerobics/pilates/kickboxing classes weekly to keep up the cardio, and we eat protein bars to help sustain us. We masturbate five times daily to keep our drives up, and then we have a gourmet dinner ready when our husbands come home from a long day’s work. We then give our husbands a foot rub while they watch the game on TV. During half time we have sex again and then we wash up and retire for the night. Isn’t that how it works at your house? 😆

I hope you at least smiled just now. We certainly don’t keep up schedules like that, and I don’t know anyone who could. We come from all walks of life. A couple of us work full time or part time, and a couple of us are stay-at-home-moms. We all have at least two children and we all attend church. We know all too well about time restraints and feeling low on energy. We don’t always have the time or the energy to do all that we want to do, but we know that should not be used as an excuse to refrain from nurturing our marriages.

As a woman, I can say that one of the best things I have that helps keep me motivated is Christian girlfriends. When I hit a rough patch and my libido drops, and my attitude turns sour… you had better believe that my Spice Sisters are there to encourage me to help lift me out of my own pity party. They remind me to count my blessings and to keep looking up. When I get too busy and start venting and complaining about life’s daily struggles, they help me to regain my focus.

No, we are not all having sex every single day, nor did we mean to give the impression that we are. We six women are using this blog as a place where we can all write about important sexual issues and topics, and at the same time reach out to other women and bring them into the fold. And in doing this, we are actually helping to encourage ourselves in the process. I may not be in a very sexual mood today, but if I’m in charge of writing up the “Position of the Week” you had better believe that my mood will probably change after thinking about doing that position with my man! Writing on this blog kind of forces us to “think sex” and therefore helps us to keep those creative thoughts at the front of our minds.

You asked how we have the time and energy to invest in this. The answer to that is fairly simple. We make it a priority. I wake up in the morning and go over my to-do list in my head…pack lunches, check the blog, go to the grocery store, do the laundry, thaw the meatloaf for dinner, oh, and try to remember to send my husband a sexy text or put on something sexy under my clothes for later tonight! For me, making a mental list is essential to getting everything done in my day. Many times I even have to write it down. I know that I need to pick up milk for my family because it’s a need. I know that I have to wash our laundry as well. Adding one simple thing each day (or trying to) that pertains to my marriage or my husband really helps to keep the fire alive. Sure there are days that I forget or days where I run out of time and don’t get everything done, but the point is for me to try and make a conscious effort to THINK about my husband and/or our sex life. When things don’t work out one day, I just try again the next.

Believe me when I say that we do understand. None of us claim to be super-wives or sex goddesses 24/7. We are simply striving to do our best to be the wives that we know Jesus wants us to be for our husbands. I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about us, and I’m so glad that you wrote in asking us about this! I wrote this article on behalf of us all, but I’m sure that the other Spice Girls may choose to leave their own replies in the comment section below.

Q&A: Past Sex Partners

Hi I just got engaged and will be getting married shortly. Prior to us getting engaged we talked about our past. I am a virgin and she is not. I have a few questions. I am afraid that I will not live up to her prior experiences so I am very nervous and afraid I won’t know what to do. Also I have forgiven her and understand that we all make mistakes but lately I have wanted to know the details of what she has done. Positions how many times and other information. Am I wrong for wanting to know? I love her more than anything in this world and want to go about this right. Thank you.

     I think you will get many differing opinions on this subject.  If you are not in some form of premarital counseling I strongly encourage the two of you to do so before you walk down the aisle.  My husband and I went through a similar situation so I’m going to share my personal experience.  Unfortunately, my husband and I were both sexually active with other people before we married. When we were engaged we thought it would be a good idea to get everything out in the open. We discussed who, what, where, why and the occasional, how many times. My husband thought this was going to be a one time discussion but it took me a few years to finally stop questioning him about his past. He had told me that he could not even remember everyone he had been with and I should have just left it at that. Instead I kept asking him for specifics and he finally turned to me and said “I haven’t thought of these people for years, I was happy to forget them and now the only reason I am remembering them is because of your questioning.” My husband did not ask me for specifics and looking back that was the smarter thing to do.

     I am sure that it hurts your fiancé more then it hurts you that you will not be her first. Just because a person has had a sexual past does not mean that they will be a better lover. We are all unique in our likes and dislikes. You are the only people on this planet who will be able to satisfy each other in a sexual manner. Just keep the lines of communication open. There is a reason she chose to marry you and not someone else. Our past is our past and there is nothing that will change it. What good would it do to know specific positions? I honestly do not see any good that could come of it. Forgive her as God has and allow her to start anew. Think of all positions as being her first because they will be.  The two of you have a lifetime of memories ahead of you. They will be her first experiences with you and those are the only ones that matter. Keep praying and if these questions continue to weigh on your mind then approach your fiancé and let her know how you are feeling but remember that you may face some consequences as a result.  As long as she is not bringing something into the marriage that could harm it, such as an STD or some sort of sexual addiction, then I would let it go. 

Monday’s Mission #33

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to try out a new sex position.  All of us can get stuck in particular patterns in our life.  Some are great habits, but some create complacency and boredom.  Who wants to have monotony within their monogamy?  This week’s challenge is geared to get you thinking outside of your normal box by trying something a little different.  There is an extensive list of different positions right here on our blog or you can tweak a known favorite just to make it fresh.  If the new position doesn’t quite meet expectations, then just laugh your way through it or try it again another time.  You never know, you just may come up with a new favorite!

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