Cuddle vs Get Up and Go

We have received multiple inquires about post coital cleanup.  Some husbands are wondering why their wives jump up to clean immediately after instead of cuddling and the women want to know if they are normal for wanting to scrub down.  Many women prefer to clean up immediately after to prevent infections.  Bacteria can be pushed up during intercourse and the best and easiest way to flush it out is to urinate.  Another reason we may feel like cleaning is to prevent our juices from soiling the sheets.  If we just cuddle up then the fluids just slowly seep out and it is not a very comfortable feeling.  (Some women are exceptions to this rule though and they don’t mind their love juices seeping out.  In fact, they may see it as a nice reminder of what has occured.)


Some other options to running to the bathroom are to have some baby wipes or towels ready next to the bed for a quick clean up.  This way it only takes a second and you can continue to bask in the afterglow while cuddling instead of leaving your man all alone in bed.  If you are feeling like a shower, then why not invite your man to join you?  Who knows, this could even lead to a second roll in the hay.  If you are prone to UTI’s then I suggest you continue to urinate post coital.  If someone is leaving the bed to clean up it should not be looked at as them not accepting their spouse they are probably just trying to feel more comfortable or avoid and infection.  If you feel like your spouse is jumping ship to avoid intimacy and put up a barrier then the best thing to do is to have a heart to heart. 


  1. There is another option. . . . my man is the one who cleans me up after.

    We use baby wipes (that are stored right next to the lubricant). He is so gentle and caring which actually makes the clean up one of my very favorite parts of making love.

    I’m not sure how exactly we started this habit . . . but I am SO thankful that we did.

  2. LOL….My DH and I have a big box of tissues by the bed, then when we are done he dives for the tissues to grab me a handful so I can wipe myself or just leave them stuffed between my legs! Then we have a nice long cuddle til we are both ready to get up or go to sleep:) We also love to have a joke about how you “never see this part in the movies” as I run out the room to the bathroom with my hand between my legs so I don’t drip anything on the floor!!;)

  3. I guess some real life things are hard to duplicate…like drainage and air exiting the vagina. It’s hard to be graceful in those moments. 😉

  4. Peppermint that made me LOL! its so true. I was mortified when that happened to me the first time (air exiting the vagina) but it made my husband laugh so hard. Totally spoiled the moment but I was ready for it the next time. Its a relief to know its not just me!. We have my DH exiting from behind to an art so as not to drop any “products of making Love” on the sheets! Try put that in the movies.

  5. My husband is so easy going he doesn’t mind that I jump up to pee. I had one UTI and NEVER want another one. Besides it isn’t he who sleeps in the “wet spot!” It is pretty hilarious that the movies never show any of the funny or logistical things about sex. How many times has his elbow landed in my eye or he’s pulled my hair or other funny things. We like to laugh anyway. We don’t take it too seriously and just have fun! Thanks for this blog by the way, I was starting to think that I was a freak for having such a healthy level of desire.

  6. After getting two UTIs in the first three months of our marriage, I urinate and clean up after everytime we have sex. I’m not taking any chances! My husband is understanding and chooses to cleans up when I do. After, we can go back to cuddling, without worries.

    Also, we keep a towel/t-shirt/pair of underwear handy. As he’s going to pull out, he pushes it underneath me. It’s much easier to wash than the sheets.

  7. Great point, charkie. We keep a bunch of bar towels on the side of our bed for that reason. I always tell my husband that it can be like a champagne cork when he pulls out.

  8. Since my sexual awakening, I have found myself being less concerned about clean up and have been more aware of the beauty of my husband’s, and of my, fluids. In a way, I cannot believe I can write like this as his semen smell used to make me gag but now I have had a total reversal and love his smell !!

    Quickly cleaning up or going to the bathroom straight away always seemed to break our mood so abruptly so I have been calming myself much more and not caring whether there is ‘stuff’ left on the bed or dribbling everywhere.

    I keep facecloths beside our bed and have made it a special thing to clean him and myself off after we have been loving each other. Keeps us close and touching each other. Anything to maintain the beauty of our moments together.

  9. Thank God for other “abnormal” people!

  10. I keep a wet face towel besides our bed, and I am the one who cleans him and myself after enjoying our loving making. He likes me doing it, and I have taken it to be my duty. I love it.

  11. Before we make love we always throw a towel on the floor beside the bed (for after)
    One time I put it there when he wasn’t expecting it. He got all turned on. it was cute.
    “Are we going to snuggle tonight honey” all the while with a grin, grin, wink, wink.

  12. My amazing wife (who’s with me as I type this–she says ‘Hey there, Spicy Girls’) jumps up immediately afterward, but just long enough to urinate and to dampen a couple washcloths with warm water. Then she returns and cleans me off, while I return the favor for her. Usuallly followed by a nice, long cuddle and drifting off into sleep, or maybe even a repeat performance (depending on how ‘vigorous’ the cleaning gets!). It’s truly a beautiful moment of lovingly serving one another, and now I can’t imagine spending our afterglow any other way.


  13. I hope this isn’t TMI 🙂 , but one time afterwards my DH supprised me by saying “How about you clean me up with your mouth.” My first thought at the time was “ew, cold juices.” haha, but then I thought, “why not? I swallow anyway, and it can open the doors for another session because your mouth is doing the “cleaning”! -fun and sexy!

  14. I am still laughing about the air exiting vagina comments. 😀 Cleanup for us usually consists of his boxers, which are then uncerimoniously dumped in the laundry. Replacements are optional, depending on how much we exhausted each other.
    I feel you on the UTI thing though. Horrible, but easily prevented by urination post-coitus.
    Thank you for this great blog! I will be recommending my friends!

  15. That’s what I do too. I get a towel for H’s face if he has given me oral and one for his penis. I love taking care of him like this. He gets his face I get the rest then I am back in bed for a cuddle. He drifts off to sleep with me gently scratching his back. It’s perfect 🙂

  16. We have been married nearly 11 years and have done this all along! Baby wipes and he cleans us up. It’s quite wonderful, and he always gets satisfaction when I squeal a bit while he’s cleaning me up. 🙂 Fun!!

  17. We always put a towel down in the bed first. That way we can just cuddle and fall asleep together. It keeps the sheets clean and we have a stack of towels in a plastic container under the bed. It also helps to communicate desire for those busy nights, along with a lit scented candle. We have several small children who all love to talk to us, but smelling the candle and seeing the towel sure will get us both up there quickly so we still have couple time while we are both alert.

  18. For those trying to conceive, immediately insert a DivaCup or something like! It will keep the semen pooled against your cervix, increasing the possibility that “something will happen.”
    Leave it in overnight at the longest. Just a thought. 😉

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