Dirty & Messy!

Okay, here we go.  Talking about dirty and messy sex!  You may be sitting there wondering what exactly it is that I’m hinting at here.  After all the other topics that we’ve covered on this blog, what could possibly be dirty?

Do you remember that book where the husband and wife were painting a room, and then they kissed and accidentally got paint on each other.  Then the next thing you know they are rolling around on the tarp making out and not caring where the paint goes?  Maybe you didn’t read that book.  Okay, well how about the movie Ghost?  You remember the scene with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore where they are making pottery together on the spinning wheel, and their hands connect on the clay, and then their hands end up all over each other?  They didn’t stop to go shower first.  They just let it happen.  Ahhh, they were in love…

I think the closest to “dirty sex” that we’ve ever came, was on the beach.  Boy, when we were finished, we had sand in places that did not need sand!  When it comes to getting down and dirty, I tend to think that maybe the movies (and books) tend to make it sound so much more glorious than it would really be in real life.  I know that if my husband and I tried doing the paint thing, I would be wondering the entire time how I was going to get that Dutch Boy Cat’s Eye Green out of my hair!  (Maybe I’m just too practical?)

Oh I know there are edible body paints just for this purpose, but I can’t seem to get motivated to even try those!  I think that part of the passion and allure and romance of these silly movies is that the couple wasn’t planning on making love.  It just happened, and instead of freaking out over it, they just let it happen and decided to deal with the consequences (like paint or mud in their hair) afterwards.  And then we women sit here thinking how romantical it is on the screen.  (Yes, I realize I just made that word up.)

We did recently get an email related to this subject:

“My husband and I are wanting to try oil wrestling together. What types of oils would you recommend? I’m having trouble finding ones that are ok to use while having sex that would feel good all over and create a shiny slick skin.”

Well, I know that we here at CN tend to talk about Coconut Oil a lot.  There is a reason for that.  It is amazing!  I’m sold on coconut oil.  We have used it before to give each other an all over body massage, and it was divine!  Afterward we did make love while we were both coated in it and it was such a unique experience!  The coconut oil does give you both very slick skin.  If you have candle light, or a fireplace,  then your bodies will shine or glisten.    I mentioned this in my article:  Sexual Play Using Coconut Oil.


I’ve heard other people talk of spreading a waterproof mattress cover over their bed, and then going to town with different foods and sauces.  While that may seem like a fun idea to many, it really doesn’t appeal to me very much.  I mean goodness, think of all the clean up afterwards!  And I can’t tell you what I’d do if chocolate sauce dripped on my beige carpet ❗   We’ve tried the whole “whipped cream” angle before, and it didn’t do much for us either.  I guess we are just one of those couples where food and sex don’t mix.

So… dirty sex.  Do you like it, or are you like me?  Have you ever had an experience where you and your husband were covered in, say… chocolate pudding perhaps, and you think that was the most passionate time you’ve ever had?  If so, maybe I could learn a few things from you!  For now I guess I’ll just stay in my own little safe world, where things like paint and pudding do not go anywhere near penises  😆

Oh, and if you have any other suggestions for our couple who wrote in wanting to try oil wrestling, then leave your advice in the comment box!

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