Domination Play

When someone mentions a “dominatrix,” what does your mind conjure up?  For most people, it’s a woman donned in black leather or vinyl lingerie, black stiletto thigh high boots, and she’s carrying a whip.  Was this similar to what you were thinking?  Some people do live a life that revolves around hard-core domination and a BDSM type of lifestyle.  They may or may not dress that way.  For the purposes of this article we will not be talking about using domination as a fetish, as people in BDSM do.  So let me go ahead and say that I do not agree with any lifestyle or sexual inclination involving pain or humiliation.

Now that we have that out of the way… Domination play can be fun!  How would it feel ladies, to turn the tables on your darling husband?  Take a minute to think about it, especially you women out there who are usually very quiet and mild mannered.  Think about this scenario:  Your husband comes home from work one day to find you cooking dinner like usual, except that there is something slightly different, and at first he can’t put his finger on it.  You greet him with a kiss and as you hug him you say into his ear:  Tonight you’re mine… and then you gently bite his earlobe.  You go finish cooking and for the rest of the evening, whenever you pass him you grope him or give him a very sly look.  Once the kids are in bed, you tell him that you expect him in the bedroom in five minutes, and then you disappear into the bedroom yourself.  When he comes looking for you, you shut the door and lock it, push him up against the wall, and kiss him passionately.  You start undressing him.  He attempts to help but you swipe his hands away and tell him “No” pretty firmly.  You look him in the eyes and tell him that this night will go exactly as you want it to go, and you ask if he understands.  You undress him (and have fun doing it) and then you tell him to undress you…slowly.  He obeys and when he is finished you push him to the bed and straddle his face so that he can pleasure you.  (Of course you pleasure him too.)  Throughout the rest of the night you give orders and assert yourself, all the while making sure that your husband is enjoying what is happening.  You call the shots.  You decide on the positions.  You say when it ends.

Think you could do something like that?  Of course that is just a basic outline, and it can be changed to suit you and your husband, but the whole point is to get you to think about taking charge for once.  How do you think your husband would react to a situation like above?  Do you think it would be a turn on?  Would he wonder what had possessed his normally demure wife?

To many men, a woman who isn’t afraid to take control every once in a while is a good thing.  Having a wife who knows how to assert herself sometimes is a big turn on!  I mean, think about it.  If you are always the quiet natured ‘good girl’ and you are always letting him initiate and having him dictate how things go, then don’t you think he may grow tired of having to fill that role?  Constantly having to be the predator can just plain get old.  Take this recent email for example:

“My wife and I found your website and just love it!  It has really helped us break out of a rut and enjoy our love life more, and we have been encouraged to try new things that have drawn us closer.  One question we had is about light domination, or role-reversal play.  My wife is not exactly a dominatrix by nature, but she’s curious about it and I would just love for her to take a little control and assert herself, in the bedroom and out.  My gorgeous wife being dominant is just very appealing and sexy to me, but we don’t know if this crosses any lines.  Does this go against biblical teaching on the roles of husband and wife?”

Here is a husband who wants his wife to step up and take the reins sometimes!  And no, I don’t believe this goes against any biblical teachings.  God did say that the husband’s body is not his alone, but also belongs to his wife!  So as long as the husband and wife mutually consent to a little domination play, then have some fun!  You could even purchase an outfit as described in the opening paragraph if you want to!  Stilettos can be useful in many situations 😉

So ladies out there, I just wanted to leave you with something new to ponder this week.  Think about a little domination play, and if you think your husband would like it.  You don’t have to do the scenario I laid out.  You can come at it from any angle you think of.  Have fun!

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  • January 2009
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