I am looking for incite on the “empty nest” issue. I know it is not necessarily sex oriented, but I am sure you have some ideas, as so many of us are moms.
I am 38 and have one child who is now an ‘adult’
I have had some issues with just feeling out of sorts. All is perfect as can be in the marriage, but my frustration, which I think is because my job as a mom has gone away has me a little off track.
You all seem younger, or at least have children at still at home. I was just looking for some insight on this particular feeling. What do you do when the kids are gone?
This is a difficult time for many women because once our children leave our home we suddenly lose one of our roles that define us. Relationships suddenly change….our relationship with our husband, children, as well as friends. Some of your friendships probably were based on other mothers who had children going through the same life experiences as yours. You may go through some questioning of ‘who’ you are, how will this affect your marriage and what is my purpose?
Pray about that purpose. No one knows you better then God and He is the one who is in control anyway. Talk to your husband about your feelings. Chances are he is going through similar feeling himself. Maybe his roles are still in place for the most part (such as breadwinner) but he may be going through regrets such as, “I should have spent more time with the kids”. Make some lists. List the long term and short term plans for how the two of you want to spend your money. Construct a fun list of things you have never done but always wanted to do. If you are feeling distant or strained from your spouse for an extended amount fo time be sure to seek counciling.
Transitions can take awhile to get used to and this is no exception. It may be a matter of months before you feel comfortable in this new season. Don’t be surprised if you feel elated on second and sad the next. Sometimes change is difficult to embrace but just because something is different does not mean it will not be better. You have spent all these years preparing your child to be independent. Now it is your turn to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor and see how well adjusted your child has become. God knows you have earned a front row seat.
It is true that the phrase ’empty nest’ is a term that describes a child/mother relationship but really a phrase should be made for this time in our lives that signifies the new relationship that we are going to experience with our husband. My personal feeling is that your relationship with your husband should be a priority and if it is then this transition will be viewed with a positive mindset. This subject fits perfectly with Christian Nymphos.org because our purpose is to help strengthen the bond between husband and wife. I’m thinking that instead of referring to this phase as ’empty nest’ I may use the word ‘encore’. An empty nest looks like it’s been abandoned. Signs of life are left like an empty shell. I’m using encore because more acts are to come. They may not last as long as the initial show but that doesn’t mean they are less important.
Christian Nymphos 