Q&A: Praying Before Sex?

“I am getting married in February – we are both virgins – I am making as much preparations for our first time together physically as I possibly can using books, this website and your links – but I wondered how we should prepare spiritually.  Should we pray before we ‘do it’ for the first time? Prob seems silly but I am a bit nervous!”

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!  What an exciting time for you and your fiance.  It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job of thinking ahead, and NO, you aren’t silly for asking about this!

Making love for the first time is a very special moment.  You and your husband will be joining yourselves together physically as you never have before.  I believe that God smiles whenever two of His children marry and make love.  He gave us this wonderful gift to share with our spouse, so of course you can pray beforehand. Marriage is a triumvirate, with God as the Head.  You two will rely on both each other and Him.

Many couples who have been married for years still pray before sex, asking God to bless their union or to help them please one another or to ask for fertility help, etc.  No prayer is unheard, as our Heavenly Father cares about all that is on our hearts.  There are some couples who even will pray during the act, although I have to admit that praying is the last thing on my mind during sex 😳

Cinnamon Sticks also has a series of articles dedicated to engaged couples such as yourselves, that you might also find helpful.  I encourage you to read them together if you haven’t already:


  1. The Book of Tobit is one of the books of the Bible that Protestants stopped reading after the Reformation. In chapter 8, we actually see a wedding night prayer scene! Check it out:

    “He began with these words: ‘Blessed are you, O God of our fathers; praised be your name forever and ever. Let the heavens and all your creation praise you forever.

    You made Adam and you gave him his wife Eve to be his help and support; and from these two the human race descended. You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; let us make him a partner like himself.’

    Now, Lord, you know that I take this wife of mine not because of lust, but for a noble purpose. Call down your mercy on me and on her, and allow us to live together to a happy old age.’

    They said together, ‘Amen, amen,’ and went to bed for the night.”

    You might want to try the same prayer on your own wedding night!

  2. I think it’s absolutely acceptable for you to pray before sex. Have you talked to your fiance about it? My husband has stopped in the middle of sex to pray for me before. (back when I used to have trouble with orgasms…) We have only prayed like that once or twice in our almost ten year marriage, but it was very sweet, and really opened my eyes to what a spiritual, “bigger than us” experience sex is, whether we realize it or not. It makes me very happy to read about the happy, satisfying sex lives and marriages all the women who post on this site, and I know that God feels the same way. Now that I am looking at the date you posted, you are already married! Well, then you don’t need any advice about wedding night sex. 🙂 Congratulations!

  3. I’ve often found myself praying for my wife during sex, though rarely out loud. It is a natural extension of my passion for her, I think. Most of my prayers in this vein are prayers of thanksgiving for the wonderful wife God has given me. Kind of like saying one long passionate able blessing between bites at the finest restaurant in your town.

    I wish I had prayed over her on our wedding night. We were both young and had not fully learned how to love another person. The young lady writing the email is on the right track in my opinion. If her husband takes his time to “lay his hands on her” in a prayerful way before he lays his hands on her for the first time, I’d venture that it would be the most amazing first time for both of them.

  4. Oh how I wish my wife and I had prayed over our sex life, but the first time I ever prayed for or about it was only a couple of years ago even though we are working on 16 years. To top it off the first time I prayed about it was because she was struggling with memories of childhood sexual abuse that came flooding in during her climax. She walked away and told me how uncomfortable that made her the next day. Even though we are both Christians she felt that prayer over sex wasn’t right and though she didn’t call sex dirty she didn’t seem to feel that God belonged. Some help from the marriage bed website and some others turned that around and we have since prayed together over our time spent enjoying what God created, but I can’t help but think how much better things might have been if we had done that from the beginning. God bless this young couple for doing it right and putting him first.

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