Q&A: Positions To Boost Confidence

“I would love to try something like this . . . but every time we try a new position that doesn’t work right away my husband blames it on the fact that his “Mr. Glad” is too short.  He wants to try new positions but his self image and confidence get lower all because he thinks the reason it won’t work *right away* is because his penis isn’t long enough. Which then leads to other issues-he comes too early or not at all-because he is too nervous or down on himself.

First, is there really that much difference in erect penises sizes that would keep a couple from doing most of the various positions?

And, second, if not, then any suggestions in how I can convince him it’s not him and to keep trying with me? My word alone isn’t working. And, if so, then do you have any creative positions to build confidence in a man who believes he’s on the short end of the stick?”

This was taken from the comment section of Position #54: The Wounded Knee. In trying to reply, I quickly realized that it was just going to be too long, so I decided to write up an article in response.

Yes, there are many different sizes and shapes of penises.  Some are shorter and fatter while others are longer and thinner.  Some have a slight curve while others are straight arrows.  There is an average size, however, of around 5 inches erect, with many men falling slightly under or slightly over that.  The length of the average vagina is somewhere around 4 inches deep, although it does have the ability to stretch and elongate some, during arousal.  With all of this in mind, doesn’t it sound like God designed our bodies to fit together comfortably?

There is such a wide variety of sexual positions to choose from.  A position that works well for you and your husband may give another couple problems.  Every couple has their favorite positions or those positions that work better for them.  Likewise, every couple will also have those positions that just don’t work for them.  This could be due to various reasons that aren’t related to penis size/length at all.

Some positions are harder for heavier couples to achieve, due to excess weight distributed in certain areas.  An example of this is a couple that is unable to do the Spoons position.  Some couples may think that this is one of the easiest positions to do, however, if the wife has a little more ‘junk in her trunk’ then penetration may be difficult to maintain.  In this example, the problem wouldn’t have anything to do with penis length, but rather, the extra flesh that prevents the genitals from reaching each other well.

There are also positions that are difficult to do if there is a big height difference between the husband and wife.  Standing and rear entry positions are the ones that come to mind here.  When there is a height discrepancy of 6-10 inches (and sometimes more), it’s hard to get the genitals to line up correctly in those positions.  Again, that has nothing to do whatsoever with penis length.

Another thing to keep in mind is that some positions require a good sense of balance and/or flexibility.  This is seen in many of our CN Positions that are labeled “acrobatic.”  If the wife (and sometimes husband) isn’t limber enough, then sometimes that position will just be out for them.  Just last night my husband and I tried a new one that I just didn’t have enough balance for (it required me to stand on one leg), and he kept slipping out.  It was totally my fault and we ended up giggling about it and just trying something else that we knew would work.

There are some positions, though, that can help to boost confidence in our husbands.  There are some that give a ‘tighter’ feel, thus making him seem larger, and there are also some positions that allow for very deep penetration, so it makes him seem longer.  Let me close with a few examples of each, and I wish you both well!

Positions that give a tighter feel:

Positions that allow for deep penetration, making him seem longer:


  1. In addtion, some erect penises don’t seem to have the “give”. Lots of positions don’t work for DH and I because he just “doesn’t bend that way.” Nothing to do with size, but he will keep slipping out or he is just experiencing pain. (Hope that’s not TMI.) There are surely other positions that you can enjoy together. Keep looking unitl you find one! Good luck!

  2. My husband and I are still relatively newlyweds, and sometimes we’ve had to try a position like, 7 times or more before we can have it actually, um, work right. 🙂 Like, he slips out or I can’t balance right or whatever.
    I used to stress when this happened (I thought maybe I was inadequate), but I don’t so much because I realized, you know what, it’s okay! We’re both learning together, and even though it’s been ten months now, we’re still learning a lot. I like it that way, it reminds us that we’ve never been intimate with any others, and so we learn a lot with just each other.
    So sometimes we try something new, and usually it doesn’t work the first time, and we laugh, then sometimes we go back to the familiar and very enjoyable missionary position, and we try other things again later. Most of the time we figure it out later 🙂
    It’s still a mental struggle not to blame myself when something ‘goes wrong’ at first, but in the end we’re usually both happy (my husband is easy to please ) and at any rate, we’ve got the rest of our lifetimes to figure things out. It’s a matter of perspective, I guess.

  3. Hisgirl,
    Who’s to say what is actually the right way. We have found some pretty great positions by changing one or two things we’ve seen, hey whatever works for you! You also forgot to mention how much fun it is to try over and over. 🙂

  4. sorry, by ‘get it to work right’ I don’t mean that one thing is right and one is wrong, not at all. What I meant by ‘right’ was having intercourse in the position we’d wanted to try. Most positions we try are something we made up anyways, if that’s not tmi.
    And yeah, it is fun to try over and over 🙂

  5. Don’t be sorry, I was just saying in my opinion all sex is right and good (in marriage of course).

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