Q&A: “Submit-Date”

“If anyone here watches a certain daytime talk show host who is mega wealthy.  She had a two-part show with a so-called sexpert on who had a neat idea.  A “submit date” for a lack of better terms.  She was counseling a dominant female and a submissive male, not in an S&M sense but more in an extrovert introvert sense.  The couple had to go on a date where the man chose everything down to what the lady wore out for the evening and she had to let him.  I was just wondering if any of you saw it and what your thoughts were on this.  My wife is a real planner and I do that kind of thing for a living so when I get home I often do not feel like making a lot of decisions.  She and I have been talking about going on one of these dates ever since.  We think it may be interesting if only for the fact that it would get both of us out of our comfort zone and change up the routine. What are your thoughts?  Any ideas on how to make this fun?”

First of all I do not watch that mega wealthy daytime talk show host.  However, a ‘submit date’ sounds very intriguing!  Surely we can think of some ideas to go along with this!  Let’s look at a ‘submit date’ and come up with a list of things that the dominant spouse could get to decide on:

  • Day and time of date
  • Childcare arrangements
  • Attire for both of you
  • Whether or not you will wear undies or lingerie under clothes
  • Vehicle to use
  • Music to listen to in vehicle
  • Dinner reservations or arrangements
  • What you both will eat
  • Where you go after dinner
  • What movie you see
  • Who will drive
  • Whether cell phones are allowed on date
  • When sex will happen on date
  • Where sex will happen on date
  • What positions will be used
  • Who gets to orgasm first
  • How many times sex will happen
  • Sexual techniques
  • If you shower together beforehand or afterward

Oh the ideas could be endless!  I am a planner.  I like things to be organized and planned well in advance, so for me to hand over the ‘power’ so to speak, to my husband, would be… a huge step for me.  That would definitely be out of my comfort zone.  In fact, he probably wouldn’t believe me if I told him I’d be willing to do this! 😆

If any of you get the courage to try out a date such as this, please write in and let us know how it goes!  I’d love to hear from people who have gone through with it.  Maybe you could share some tips with the rest of us!


  1. I recently accompanied my husband on his work overnight trip. While he was servicing his last store, I wrote him a note saying that the rest of the evening was up to him. The main thing I emphasised, was that whatever he wanted, he was to get. He was in total control. Sexually, as well as other ways.
    We had one of the best nights ever.
    It was confirmed to me what I have already learned being married to him for almost 29 years- he is happiest when he is pleasing me. He did things he knows I love, and allowed me to do some of the things he knows I love to do to him. It was really a night to remember,

  2. I’m delighted to hear that this worked out well for you! We had plans to do it ourselves but then those plans got messed up. My husband wants us to re-schedule it and we’re looking at later in June. I’m eagerly anticipating it!

  3. My husband received “this” as his valentines day gift from me this year. I explained how it works and it was game 🙂 So I’ll report back how it went! He’s planning the entire thing and that is very exciting to me!

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