Monday’s Mission #51

Your mission this week is to look through your closet and dressers for something ultra sexy to wear for your husband. Look at the clothing and lingerie you have and plan a night at home to wear the sexiest thing you can find; a bedroom date if you have a house for of kids. As the teacher of The Peasant Princess series says, “Be visually generous.” Look at every day clothes in a new way. A blouse you normally wear to work, buttoned with only one button and a sexy bra underneath. Maybe a tight white t-shirt with no bra. Or a bustier with jeans. Have fun with it.

Position #61: The Butterfly

I have noticed that we have many positions that work well if you happen to own bed risers so I decided to write on up for those lower surfaces.  Now this lower surface can be a couch, bed, or table.  This position is very similar to Position #11:  The Standing T.

To get into position lay flat on your back and move as close as possible to the edge of whatever surface you are using.  Have your husband kneel at the side of the bed, table or couch, and hopefully everything lines up for penetration.  If you are laying on a very low surface you can use some pillows to prop yourself up.

Pros: ~ you are able to get some great leverage from the floor.

~ Clitoris is easily assessable for stimulation.

Con: ~ a long session could hurt your husband’s knees.

Sex Toy Parties

“I’m a stay at home mom and came across a direct sales job that sounds good. The job has a lot to offer but I’m not sure it’s a godly job. It is a sex toy selling job where you host parties in homes. Is this ok in Gods eyes? Would I be sinning if I tried this out?”

Sex toy parties can be so much fun!  I know because I’ve been to several of them, and I also hosted one myself a couple years ago.  I do not believe that going to a toy party, hosting a toy party, or getting a job for a toy company is sinful in nature.  I do, however think that you should investigate the company thoroughly beforehand though, so that you know what you are getting yourself in to.

The party that I hosted in my home was so much fun.  I had talked to the consultant beforehand and she answered all my questions.  She let me know that it was only for women 18 and up, and moms weren’t even allowed to bring their newborn babies.  It was very strict.  No men either.  I also found out that they did NOT sell porn, and that was a biggie with me.  So my husband took my kids out to grandma’s house then to see a movie that night, so the house would be available for the party.  She told me what specific games would be played and what products she would be bringing.  We discussed snacks and drinks and she told me what types of language would be used (clinical).

I could not have been more pleased with the outcome.  It was done in a very tasteful way and my consultant was absolutely wonderful.  She never used vulgar or even slang terms because she wanted everyone to be comfortable.  It was upbeat and we all laughed a lot.  Ordering was done in private, in a back room, and she had many products in her van with her, so that my friends didn’t have to wait for it to ship out from somewhere.  My friends and family were so impressed by my party, that three of them went on to host their own parties from this same company.

Since then, I have been to another toy party by a different company.  I was not comfortable there at all.  The consultant allowed young teenage girls to attend (15-16 yrs old) and the games that we played were just… not very tastefully done.  I did not like it and did not order anything from it.  I also decided that I wouldn’t ever attend another toy party from that company again.  You know, in hind sight it may have just been that the consultant  wasn’t very good.  The company itself may have had rules (like age rules) that she wasn’t following because she just wanted to sell stuff, no matter who it was to.   I bet if we had had a Christian consultant it would have went differently.

I also know of yet a third toy party company (I won’t say who) that sells pornographic videos.  Of course this bothers me.  So while I don’t think that all toy parties are sinful in nature, I do believe that some have the potential to be less than godly.  If you are thinking of doing this, you should investigate the company yourself. Attend a party that someone else hosts, or agree to host one yourself just to see how it goes.  If you are impressed, and don’t have that gut feeling that is telling you to ‘flee!’ then ask some questions about becoming a consultant.   (It also helps to have an outgoing and fun personality.)   I’ll list a few of the big name companies that I’m familiar with, and I’ll leave it to you to do your own research.  It’s relatively easy to find out information online, and you can also use email and telephone numbers to contact companies that you are more interested in:

I’m sure that many of our readers have probably attended such parties themselves, and may weigh-in on this issue.  Let me just remind everyone that we do remove most links from comments as stated in our Guidelines, so keep that in mind.

Balancing Loving God and Loving Your Husband

My passion for Jesus started at a very young age. I have walked with Him for as long as I can remember without much of a desire to stray from Him. He has been faithful to me in some really difficult things and growing in knowing Him has been my heart’s call for many, many years.

My enjoyment of my husband began the day I met him. We were friends instantly as he has had the same heart’s call and, well, he is just so gosh darn likable. As our friendship grew into love I realized that he was the one I would spend my life with and I can honestly say that God has been faithful to use us in one another’s lives to propel us deeper into God. I wouldn’t change this for anything. It’s one of the things I cherish most about our relationship, that God always seems to be stirring the same things in us when it comes to learning more about how to walk rightly with Him.

I think there are several keys to balancing our love for God and our love for our husbands. One is that it helps tremendously if we embrace a teachable spirit within us. I would far rather have my children marry a believer in Jesus who has a heart that is soft towards the work of God and that is teachable, than someone who just grew up in the church and was a good person without letting God touch them deeply. Of course, we don’t like being corrected, but while it may initially be uncomfortable, generally if we can be open to it and enter into the process realizing that God is doing a good thing in us, it is amazingly valuable. If a husband and wife can do this it allows God to have access to our hearts and for us to learn how to love well.

It also helps if we fully realize that loving God and loving our husbands is not mutually exclusive. They are completely connected. You may have heard people give lists of their priorities in life. For example, God, husband, children, work, extended family, friends and so on. In some ways I can see how it is helpful for people to reflect on what is most important in their lives, but in other ways it can train us to think that these are all separate things when really they all touch one another and should center around our identity as children of God. I am a child of God when I pray, but also when I mother my kids and care for those in need and go grocery shopping AND make love to my husband.

It is far too common for us to hear stories of men in particular who are married to passionate women of God in the world, but apathetic lovers in bed. Whether from wrong teaching or being sinned against or intentionally turning off our sexuality because it feels like it’s a bother, it can be costly to break out of that mindset of apathy towards marital intimacy. We can’t force it on our spouse so when a wife or husband feels cold towards sex, their helpmate often finds themself frustrated. This is why the teachable spirit I mentioned earlier is so important. An aspect of my own sexual awakening was that God knew He had access to my heart. If you are married to an impassionate lover and would like it to change, pray first that God would make you both teachable and that you would embrace whatever He wants to do in your lives. And remember, that may not look how you want it to look.

Embracing that women of God make really great lovers to their husbands can seem quite paradoxical, but it really is true. In fact, it is my firm belief that women of God have the potential to be the best lovers out there. It all depends on how you define “best lover,” but if it looks like a woman who can give her spiritually redeemed self fully to the pleasure and passion, service and sensuality that is available with her husband, THAT is a  good lover in my opinion. Bring it on, God!

Is There Power in Prayer?

I was really humbled recently by a message my pastor gave at church on prayer. It also reminded me of emails I have seen by people writing in to us saying, “please don’t tell me to pray about it” or “I have prayed and nothing has changed” … well, has it? I grew up being taught that God answers prayer three ways…. yes, no or wait. Wonderful. So how do you know what he said when he doesn’t audibly answer you?

God is our Abba Father. Just like any daddy, he wants to give to us. But do we really know how to ask him for what we want? But I hear you saying, “Doesn’t God already KNOW what I want? Why should I ask him for it if he already knows?” Great question. Are you ready for the answer?

God wants us to ask because it REMINDS US where every good gift comes from. I am reminded of my kids with this thought. My son will sit around complaining to us about how all his friends get a bigger allowance a week than he does, when he sits around the house and does nothing to earn more than he does. What he forgets is when he needs new clothes, we buy them for him. He doesn’t have to provide his own. When he does us a huge favor, we usually reward him by getting him something he really wants…like a new ZEN MP3 player he has been asking for. He didn’t have to buy it. He doesn’t appreciate what we do give him and take that into consideration. We are like that, too. We get things from God on a daily basis that we don’t even thank him for. In this economy, do you have a job? Thank God for it. Do you have clothes on your back? A roof over your head? Food on your table? Thank God for it. When the Israelites were wandering in the desert, God provided manna for them every day. What did they do? Complain that they didn’t have water. He gave them water….there was always something new to complain about, but never once do we thank God for what he provides us already without asking. So when we have a real prayer need, God wants you to ask, so that when you receive, you will thank him and praise him for answering your prayer.

When you pray, do you really believe that God will give it to you? If you pray half heartedly, what does that tell God? “Well, God, I really need this, but I am not sure that you’ll give it to me.” If you need to know where your next meal is coming from, pray to God about it and believe that he will provide it. Have you ever heard of George Muller? He opened up orphanages for children in the mid 1800’s, never requesting financial support, but teaching the children about having faith in God for what they needed. Many times, he received unsolicited food donations only hours before they were needed to feed the children, further strengthening his faith in God (Wikipedia) George would pray for the needs and believed that the needs would be met. And they usually were. In the 1870’s, 2,000 orphans were being cared for in 5 homes by him and his wife. Doesn’t this show you how God answers prayer?

When you pray, are you in a right relationship with God? It always amazes me that when we have a crisis in our country, what is the first thing people always do? They start praying. They pray to  God, who they may never talk to on a regular basis, but expect him to answer when they need him most. “Why didn’t God save our home in this disaster?”  “Why didn’t God stop this from happening?”   Our leaders who try so hard to keep God out of our schools, want us to pray to God when we are devastated by tragedy. God bless America comes out more often than not during these times. Dear readers, God can answer everyone’s prayers. God can bless us all, but when we sin against him and when we are the biggest hypocrites about him until we really need him, he is more likely to answer someone who obeys him and has a personal relationship with him. Get to know God on a regular basis, not just when you need something. When you know him, you will believe that he will meet your needs and answer your prayers.

There are several verses in the bible that tell us that we need to be right with others before God will answer us. Mark 11:25, Matthew 5:23-24, and 1 Peter 3:7 all document the need to be sure that we are right with family, friends, neighbors and spouses so that it doesn’t hinder our prayer.

Be sure that your prayer leaves room in case what you want isn’t what’s best for you. God’s will is ALWAYS better than your own will. I know that I would LOVE to pray that God would give us the money to be able to afford better things…newer cars instead of used ones, a house of our own instead of a rental, but I do realize that if God felt that I needed it now, we’d have it. It isn’t His will that we have all this stuff right now. So when I pray, I always pray that God’s will be done, not mine. I had a dear friend that died of breast cancer. All the while everyone was praying for a miracle for her to be completely healed, I continued to pray that God’s will be done. My friend’s story reached A LOT of people on Caring Bridge. She wasn’t healed in this life, but God healed her when she stepped into Heaven. God has a plan for our lives. It doesn’t hurt to ask, believe that he can give it, but be sure to remember that God’s way is always the best way. If it isn’t in our best interest, then it won’t be answered the way we want it.

Lastly, be sure to pray in Jesus’ name. Think about it. God sacrificed a lot for us. Jesus paid the ultimate price for us. He has all the wounds to prove it in his hands, his feet and his side. His ultimate sacrifice makes it possible to have the most awesome relationship forever with his father, but he did tell us one thing in John 14:13 “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.” Jesus is our intercessor with the Father. His name is precious and holy and it reminds me daily of his sacrifice for me.

Let me tell you of a recent prayer that was answered faster than any I have asked for in the past. I had a big problem at work that looked so completely impossible to fix. So one morning before work, I got down on my knees…something I rarely ever do I am ashamed to admit….and I prayed to God. Sincerely, earnestly, and broken, I asked Him for help in this situation and for him to show me His will in all of this. No sooner had I said amen, my phone rang. And on the other end of the line was the answer to my prayer. I found out later that I was the answer to this other person’s prayer as well. God knows what we need. He is waiting for us to ask him. For those of you who write us and say, “Please don’t ask me to pray about it”, we will continue to tell you to pray. We have all seen and felt the power that is in our prayers to God the Father. We have seen and witnessed all the blessings He can bestow on us. We have seen His miracles! I think at one time or another, each one of the Spice girls here at CN have seen miracles in our own marriages and our marriage beds, so yes, we will continue to tell you to pray. We have seen it’s power and want you to witness it, too.

Mondays Mission #50

Your mission this week is to sneak a sexy note or erotic story into your husband’s wallet or car for him to find. You can make it as tame or wild as you like. Make up a sexy scenario that the two of you could end up in or write out all the things you’d love to do with him. If you know he likes a certain sex act, then you might want to write about that. Feel free to stretch your comfort zone a little bit, but also be yourself. The idea is to let him know that you desire him, and in a way that will be a nice surprise for him.

Position #60: Twin Peaks

This week’s position is another breast sex one!  My husband helped me figure out this one recently, and he was pleased!  If your husband likes booby-time, then listen up gals…

First of all, the wife will lie down on her back on the bed, and then scoot to the edge so that her head hangs off the bed.  Her body will be facing up, while her head hangs down the side.  Next, the husband stands and straddles his wife.  She can push and hold her breasts together for him while he leans over and holds onto her body (or the bed) and thrusts.

This position also works if the husband wants to hold her breasts together.  She is then able to hold on to his thighs, or even spread her legs and rub herself.

Pros: This is a great one for husbands who like to orgasm standing.  If the wife looks up, she will get a very close up view of her husband’s rear and testicles.

Cons: This may not work if your bed isn’t the right height.  (We have risers.)  If the wife looks up, she will get a very close up view of her husband’s rear and testicles.  (I put this as both a pro and a con because it depends on the wife’s attitude! 😆 )

Tips: Don’t forget to lube up those breasts with plenty of Coconut Oil first!

True Orgasm


I have a question about climaxing. Considering I was not a Christian and I watched WAY too many movies growing up that did have sex in them (nothing porno, but definitely R rated), you see a lot of “YES YES YES” and then this calming down smile.

For me, I get immense pleasure, “yes yes yes” and then…. I am not sure. It feels REALLY good, but the after effects are nothing like what I have seen (of course, what IS like anything you see on TV?). What DOES an in real life orgasm look/feel like? I have always heard if you don’t know if you had one, you haven’t had one. Well, that just isn’t true if you don’t have a godly picture of what ONE IS. Does that make sense? I could totally be having one and not know that is what it is because my mind has a different image of what a true orgasm is (based on movies).


This question had my mind going in circles because really, what is a “Godly picture of an orgasm”?  I think whatever you do when climaxing with your husband is considered (in my book) a ‘Godly orgasm’.  Everyone has their own thing they may do when climaxing but our bodies are experiencing the same things and I think that is how you know if you have had an orgasm.  Unlike a man it is not so obvious on the outside when we climax but a woman should be able to tell if she has by her rapid breathing, increased heart rate, maybe some flushing, muscles throughout her body become rigid, secretions outside the vagina all followed by muscle contractions within the vagina that vary in length of time.   Those muscle contractions feel incredible and they are pretty difficult to overlook or mistake for something else.  😉


Now, we all react differently on the outside with our facial expressions/body language.  Some of us may be extremely vocal.  The ‘When Harry Met Sally” scene where ‘Sally’ shows ‘Harry’ what she sounds like when she experiences an orgasm is an example of how loud we can get. Some are quiet as a mouse while they even hold their breath.  One woman may flare around in bed while another barely moves.  There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to have an orgasm.  I know that I, for one, may be extremely verbal and flare around one time and be quiet the next.  Is one way better than the other?  No, what I do may just depend on my mood or whether we have the potential of being heard.  I have heard some ask “Why do people say that they are coming when they are climaxing?  Isn’t that strange?”  It is not strange.  It is a way of expressing and enjoying yourself.  My husband can tell if I am climaxing without me being verbal about it but that doesn’t stop me from expressing myself.  Now that I think about it one of my favorite memories is when my child first rode his bike without his training wheels.  He was so excited to be riding without any assistance that he yelled “Mommy, I’m doing it!!!!”  Suddenly I began yelling “You’re doing it!!!” just as enthusiastically.  So why do we state the obvious?  Well, I guess we do it because it is fun.  It is a way to share joy with my loved one and isn’t that part of being ‘Godly’?

So, just as I stated at the beginning, I think that whatever you do is a ‘real orgasm’ and sometimes it will resemble what is depicted in the movies and sometimes it won’t.  Just enjoy yourself and do what comes naturally.  If your husband likes to hear sounds or see you so excited that you can’t contain yourself then let it all hang out.  Some women are not comfortable losing control but this is the one place where you can feel safe to do so.  It could make for some great memories for your husband and it may increase your arousal to.  If you would rather stay quiet and concentrate on the sensations that are going through your body then that’s great too.  It’s all good and all very real.

What Messages Are You Hearing?

I got to thinking about all the beliefs that we can come to possess about our sexuality as we grow up. So many messages were sent to me as I grew up from both the world and the church community which had a tremendous impact on my perception of what God intended for me, and they were often reactions caused by fear or ignorance rather than reasonable explanations. Here are just a few.

Messages from the world:

  • If you like having sex, your a slut.
  • Sexy girls are bad girls.
  • If you value your sexual purity, you are naive.

Messages from the church community:

  • Your sexuality is bad until you are married.
  • Your genitals are dirty.
  • Good girls don’t.

The interesting thing is that as we embrace ourselves entirely as God created us, we are set free from so much of the baggage associated with those statements, but it doesn’t change that others still see it that way. Many people who are talking about our blog understand where we are coming from and are encouraged by the message. Others, though, seem to fall into one of two groups of people. A lot of religious folks think we are entirely too worldly and that sex should not be discussed. Then on the other hand we see many non-believers who think it is either a joke or pass us off as religious skanks. Both are victims of hearing these negative messages and walking in these lies, and I will not bow to either.

Sexual purity is an incredibly valuable quality to possess. It takes a whole lot more personal integrity and self worth to commit yourself to keeping your sexual passion and expression focused on the person you are married to than to have sex at whim with anyone you wish. This isn’t naivety, it’s wisdom. To be free in your marriage bed to enjoy it for all the purposes God intended doesn’t detract from being a woman of God, it allows you to walk more fully in that role.

One of the goals of our blog is to help set women free from the negative messages so many of us have heard. We can’t change how everyone thinks about their sexuality and their faith, and how they are connected, but we are so thankful to have this platform and to see that women are being set free from many of these lies. And that is the turning point. Once the truth is revealed, we can walk in increasing freedom. We may hit walls and need to push through, but knowing that we had been living under a lie is a huge key. After that, it becomes easier to get rid of those lies, especially if we have supportive husbands and godly girlfriends who will help walk with us in our freedom.

So don’t be afraid to challenge yourself to look at the messages that were sent to you and consider which of them are valid and which are not. For the ones that aren’t valid, pray and ask God to replace them with His truth. In every area, I pray that you would walk in all that God has for you; spiritually, emotionally and sexually.

The Mother’s of Moses: Jochebed and Pharoah’s daughter

Does it seem weird to you to see these two women’s name in the same study? They were as totally different as night and day…one was a Hebrew slave, one was an Egyptian princess. Both women play a vital role in God’s plan for young Moses, who would redeem his people and lead them out of Egypt. But it wouldn’t have ever been except for the faith and bravery of one woman, and the courage and determination of another.

This study takes place in the book of Exodus. Jochebed lived in a time when the Hebrews were growing and growing in numbers and they were out numbering the Egyptians. This worried Pharoah. What if their enemies would strike and the Hebrews would decide to fight against them with their enemies? At first he decided to work them harder, but the harder they were worked, the more they multiplied. He spoke to Hebrew midwives and told them to kill the Hebrew babies that were male when they were born, but the females could live. Since the midwives feared God, they came up with an excuse. The Hebrew women had their babies so fast that the midwives did not make it there in time to execute Pharoah’s plan. Finally Pharoah decreed that all Hebrew male babies were to be thrown into the Nile.

During this time, Jochebed became pregnant, and gave birth to a son. He was a beautiful baby and she decided to hide him. She was able to do this for 3 months. But when she could hide him no longer, she got a basket, covered it with tar and pitch, put her son in it, and set the basket in the Nile river. His sister, Miriam, watched the basket from a distance.

I want to stop the first part of the story here for a second. I work with children all day. I know how difficult it can be to keep a newborn infant quiet. Babies are so fiercely dependent on their caregivers. When they are hungry, they cry. When they are wet, they cry. When they are cold, they cry. We all pretty much know the pattern. As they get older, they sleep less, so that means the chances of them crying are greater than when they were newlyborn. It must have been very hard work to keep a secret that there was a new baby in the house. My son was colicky when he was a baby. We could NEVER figure out why he was crying sometimes….no matter what we did, it never seemed to help. I don’t know if they had a remedy for gassiness, but I know they didn’t have Mylicon drops back then. How did she do it? How did she manage to keep this child a secret for three months? To me, that is so incredible. Walk into a church nursery or a daycare nursery. Babies are crying all the time. This woman was an incredible mom with a very strong sense of faith that God would help protect her son.

Back to the story. Now the Pharoah’s daughter came down to bathe in the Nile with her maidens, and she saw the basket amongst the reeds. After sending a maid to retrieve it, she opened the basket, and there was a baby inside it. She recognized it as a Hebrew baby. He was crying, and she felt pity for him. Miriam ran up to her and asked her if she wanted her to go get a Hebrew woman to nurse him. Miriam went and got her mother, brought her back and Pharoah’s daughter paid her to nurse the baby until he was weaned! What a wonderful story!

When we are at our lowest, not knowing what we need to do next, we need to look up to the Lord for our answer. Jochebed did just this. We don’t see these kind of problems in the western world today like she did. We do have our own unique problems though that somehow we just don’t know how to solve at times. Jochebed could never have possibly imagined that the Pharoah’s daughter of all people would find her son and have mercy on him and want to raise him as her own. But God already had that one figured out and taken care of. Hebrews 11:1 tells us

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Jochebed didn’t know what would happen to her son, but she had the faith to know that God was in control of it. Moses was rescued from the river. Did Pharoah’s daughter have faith? I don’t know that for certain. She was definitely used as part of God’s plan. She decided to raise a Hebrew child as her own, despite her father’s insistence that all Hebrew males be killed.

I would like to think that if I were in the same boat, that I would have done the same thing, but I cannot say I would. I have a Savior though that is alive and my faith, hope and trust are in him to help me through any situation I would find myself in. Do you have that faith? Do you believe that God can get you through anything? No matter what life throws at you, faith will lead you through.

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