Help!!! High Sex Drive!!!!

Many women email us asking for advice for having a high sex drive.  When this issue is brought up is it usually looked at through a warped magnifying glass because of the way society has viewed women.  According to what is acceptable to most of our society, it is supposed to be the man who has the higher drive, not the woman. Women have been given this ‘role’ for centuries and we are here to encourage other women to embrace and enjoy their sexuality.  When females do not fit all nice and neat inside a simple box then suddenly a woman may feel ostracized and they start wondering if they are “normal”.  It is time that we put our foot down and accept that we too are made to be sexual.  We were not put on this earth to merely give pleasure; we should receive it as well!!!   I can remember discussing desired frequency one day with a very close girlfriend.  I had told her that if I go more than three days without being intimate that  I tend to feel disconnected from my husband and out of sorts (some of you may call it ‘being cranky’).  After she was able to pick her mouth up from the floor she looked at me like I had five heads and told me that I was sex crazed.   Sadly, I was expecting that type of reaction from her so I didn’t take it too personally.  Why do I say ‘sadly’?  I used the word sadly because many women do not see sex as their God given right.  They have every right to enjoy the pleasure, release and freedom that comes with it.

Those of us that have a high sex desire may face another issue which is the husband is not keeping up with the desired frequency of his wife.   Having a higher sex drive can help merge a couple together but it can also cause major resentment within the marriage.  If the spouse of the person with the higher drive embraces the situation then it can help solidify the marriage.  The wife feels attractive, loved, accepted and cherished for who she is and for what she brings to the relationship.  It not only strengthens their bond, it also helps the wife’s self confidence soar in every aspect of her life.  God made both woman and man as sexual beings but even though we may both be sexual, this doesn’t mean everything will flow smoothly.  I wrote about my husband’s reaction to my awakening in an article titled “What’s a man to do?” It was not an extremely smooth transition for us but with open communication and respect we have worked through some major issues with both of us meeting in the middle.  If your husband has a lower drive then you the only advice I can think of is to approach him the same way you would want to be approached if the tables were turned.  His lower drive could be due to low testosterone, negative teachings or even stress.  If it is something that is hindering your relationship then I urge you to help him seek professional help.

I think that this is when I felt most vulnerable ever in my life, when I first discussed this with my husband.  It does take some courage to come forward while feeling emotionally naked but it is so worth it.  You are worth it.  Do not be afraid to encourage other women to enjoy their sexual side.  Christian Nymphos is one vehicle that we can use to spread the word and the another way we can spread the word is through you, our readers.  This is such an important topic for our future generations; sex is good and nothing to be ashamed about.  If more women come forward with their true feelings than others will avoid the shame that some have felt with these sexual urges.   We should all hold our heads up high and be proud because we are living our lives as God intended.  You view sexuality as an important part of your marriage and that’s not normal, it’s extraordinary.

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  • March 2009
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