Q&A: Boudoir Photos

“I have been thinking about taking some sexy pictures and putting them in an album for my husband for some time now.  I would really like them to have a professional look and am looking into have a shoot done with a (female) photographer.  Can you think of any reason this would not be OK as long as the photographer was a woman?  If so, I will figure out some way to take them myself or have a friend help me.  Also, I’m having a hard time coming up with poses and was wondering if you could help me out with any ideas, outfits, props, ect.”

This is a great thing to do!  Let me just say that I’ve done this before several years ago and I had so much fun doing it.  I actually had several girlfriends (and even my mother! Ha!) to go with me and we all did it together for our husbands.  Here are some things to think about beforehand:

If you are going to do this, then you might as well do it right, so think about having a manicure done.  In a few of the pics that I had done, my hand was placed on or around my face on purpose, and afterward I wished that I had had my nails done.

I did have my make-up professionally done for the shoot.  It was GREAT, because the woman knew to apply a little more make up than I normally would wear in public.  That was because the camera doesn’t really pick up on make-up unless it’s dark.  Even though I felt like the make-up was a bit much while I was wearing it… after the pictures came out, I loved them!  So seriously think about having someone else do your make-up!

I also had my hair done for the shoot.  It was rolled in a style that I don’t normally wear, but it looked very…sensual.  Especially with the lingerie and clothing that I picked out.  If you see a certain “style” in a magazine then take that pic with you to the salon and tell the stylist what you are doing for your husband.  A good stylist will be able to help you come up with a very nice look for your pictures!

I would recommend a female photographer.  (I could NOT have done this with a male photographer, and my session was relatively tame.)  My photographer was wonderful.  She took one look at me and already had several poses, props, and outfits in mind.  A good photographer will have many suggestions for you, so you shouldn’t have to worry about making a list of poses that you want, unless you just want to.  The lady that I used did a lot of these types of shoots, so she already had tons of “outfits”  and props that I was welcome to use.  (No, she didn’t have panties and other intimates like that, yuck!)  She mainly had sexy tops, corsets, beads, accessories, hats, and silk/sheer fabrics for me to lay across or cover up with or whatever.  I was also able to bring my own lingerie if I wanted something specific or more… racy.

Nude pics were out for me.  I just wasn’t comfortable posing nude in front of a stranger, even if it was a woman.  But if I were to do it again (and I just may!) I think I would do a couple of nude shots while draped with a sheer material, or half way covered up with some silk fabric, showing just enough skin that I knew my husband would love it!  The thought of a simple nude shot wearing only a strand of pearls is nice.  I can totally see that in black & white!  I didn’t think of stuff like that years ago, so I must be getting bolder in my older years!  😆

Oh, and before I forget it, there is one pose that is extremely sensual.  Lay on a bed face up and have some kind of sexy material draped over you or some lingerie on.  Have the photographer stand up on the bed and straddle you and point the camera down to you so that the picture comes out as if your husband is looking down at you lying on the bed waiting for him!  HOT!  HOT! HOT!

Having a photo shoot like this is so much fun and it is so rewarding when you give those pictures to your husband.  I am so glad that you wrote in asking about this and I hope that you leave us a comment when you go through with it!

Now… to find the number of that photographer and see if she is still in business… 😉

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    As a Christian Photog who offers this service I find the biggest hurdle for some women is the idea that Images like these are instantly pornographic and that is so not the case. thanks for addressing this I would love to link to this article if thats okay!

  2. Yes, feel free to link to this article.

  3. Hi, please allow me to chime in on this. As a husband I would be tickled to have such a gift given to me. I think some women may have a poor self image of their body or think this is porno. (At least my believes this) I love her dearly, inspite of any communication issues we may have regarding sex. Chances are some ladies may not like their photo taken; they claim they are not photogenic, model material or a centerfold. You dont have take your clothes off completely to take boudair photos. Seductive poses leave the mans mind to ‘fill in the blanks” with his imagination. My wife gets frustrated when I take candid shots of her while on vacation or family get togethers. She is beautiful and very photogenic. We have a photo that was taken on our 30th anniversary while on a cruise taken by the ships’ photographer. She is in a little black dress and I am wearing a gray suit. She is absolutely gorgeous and I feel like a million bucks in that photo. Even though we are middle age, she is still very hot ( I hope I can say that here)

  4. i did this for my husband and he loved it. only we couldn’t afford a professional photographer so i just did them myself with our digital camera. they weren’t as nice as professional photos, but he cherishes them anyway. one plus is that he and i are the only people who have ever seen them.

  5. I would love to do this for my husband but am wondering how I would go about choosing a good photographer. Someone I would feel safe with and assured they wouldn’t share my pictures even in advertising. Any ideas?

  6. Thoroughly researching the artist first is a really good start. Remember that they are working for you, not the other way around, so it’s their job to prove to you that they are worthy of receiving your hard earned cash. Ask for references. Just like you would if you were highering someone to do any other work for you.

    If you are really nervous about the photos being shown publicly, you could always just start with having a friend take them. Remember, they don’t have to be nudes. You could just be wearing something sassy.

  7. I have a friend who does boudoir photography. He’s a male (obviously) and he does a VERY good job of being professional. I wouldn’t necessarily automatically discard a male photographer. Get good references from any photographer and ask to see their portfolios.

  8. The idea is intriguing, and I wouldn’t mind hubby having sexy pics of me (I mean, we bought me a cute pink bikini (for wearing privately) on our honeymoon that won’t fit forever…) but I don’t know if either of us our comfortable with having actual pictures – what if guests or our children (first is on the way….) see them?!
    I mean, my body, when dressed sexily (or rather, undressed) is for his eyes only.
    I guess it would feel a bit like pornography, even to have it documented, even if only he saw it (not saying it’s wrong for everyone, just that’s how *I* would feel if I did it.)
    Plus, I don’t think I will want my forty year old body to be compared to my 20 year old body in that much detail…

    But maybe a compromise where I look really ‘gorgeous’ (his expression) but still not too risque (or naked)? So I wouldn’t feel like I had porn in the house, but still had a pic or two of me for his eyes only? (and I would be embarrassed but not completely mortified if one of my many brothers or in-laws happened to see one on accident?)

  9. I recently did this by myself (not nude) with a digital camera for our 16th wedding anniversary. DH loved it! Although aprouching 40 and have had 3 children I was shocked at how well some of the shots came out. It realy helped with my self esteem in realizing what my husband sees. And would much rather have my husband look at pictures of me then be tempted to look at others. We locked the pictures up in a box with a lock and he holds the key. But do only what you are comfortable with.

  10. Lana,
    I agree, I love the idea of boudoir photos, but with the way things get around, I was terrified. This idea is more outrageous (and may be a whole different article), but what I ended up doing is taking close ups of certain body parts. You may still feel like it is porn, but I personally was much more comfortable with this, because my face was not visible.

    Also, since I used a digital camera, we did not print the pictures, just saved them under a password on our computer. Even if they somehow get into cyberspace, there is nothing to identify me (and DH was thrilled!)

  11. Follow up :

    After agonizing about how to go about doing a boudoir shoot and realizing that cost-wise, it is prohibitive for our budget at this time, we had a blast last Friday night with a digital.

    My daughters helped me to conclude that if I wanted to have photos for my husband to enjoy, why not ask him to take photos of me! No, don’t you all say “duh”. O.k.so I’m a bit slow, patience with me, ladies..

    He was so male-ish in his stance and I felt so sexy and sassy, it was really a lot of fun.

    Since Friday, he has mentioned setting up back drops and special lighting. This could become a wonderful thing. I get to feel beautiful, he indulges his love of photography and we blend it all with glorious sex afterwards. Prescription from heaven for both of us 😉

  12. What a great idea! I don’t know if I could ever do it though. I hate having my picture taken always have.

  13. Ordinarliy I hate having my photo taken too but this was something I so wanted to do to surprise my husband, the (female) photographer who I had was great at putting me at ease and I am so pleased I did it. It turned out to be a real condfidence booster for me too (seeing the photos and realising I might not be a model but I can still look good) as well as being a hugely surprising but very welcome christmas present for my husband!

  14. Any chance that husband might hate it? I’m guessing no… but any experiences out there?

  15. i would totally pose nude for my husband. i am not at all ashamed of my body. however, i would be a little concerned about digital photographs being taken by a stranger.

    if you pose nude for your husband, make sure YOU control the camera. ok ok i am being a little prudish. it is just … well … as much as i am unashamed of my body … and i really am … i would be very uncomfortable with some random boy looking at a picture of my naked body.

    never do anything that might embarass your family. a naked photograph of yourself for your husband is fun … unless it shows up on your husband’s boss’ desk.

  16. I’m a little confused by this post. If your DH was taking the pictures would they really show up on the boss’ desk?
    If you meant someone else was taking them, I don’t think it would ever be right to have another man take the pictures. Professional or not. I don’t think the ends ever justify the means.
    Only my opinion…:)

  17. I totally agree with you about having a man take a picture. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, and i DOUBT my husband would be ok with that. But at the same time, what if the woman photographer struggles with lust after other women? I mean it’s not totally uncommon. In my days before I was redeemed from sexual sins, looking at pictures of women turned me on more than looking at pictures of men. And so when it comes down to it, the woman may make you feel more comfortable, but she could be lusting after you the same way a man would.

    Just something to think about. Perhaps hubby as photographer sounds the best.

  18. I agree. I’ve struggled with the same issue – being turned on by photos of other women. I think that if you don’t use your husband as the photographer (I don’t know that my husband could finish a session!) then use a close friend or a personal reference for the photographer. Most importantly – ask God. Why not? He answers all kinds of prayers…

  19. a post above referred to a woman photographer

    but my post was regarding to all digital photographs

    you can never be sure who gets onto your computer or camera. i am simply suggesting be very careful with digital media.

  20. My husband and I just did this last weekend! The difference? He was my photographer! It was really fun and we got some great shots. That takes the surprise out of it, but it was exciting to do something so out of character. They’re so good, I wish I could share them. It’s amazing what you can do with a few floor lamps and a digital camera! Not to mention a sizzling hot photo subject…!

  21. Good for you!! I really want to do this again soon!

  22. My niece, a professional photographer, just started a boudoir photo business. She has a website with many of her clients’ photos as well as a facebook page and this is appalling to me. I have no objections at all to couples doing this for each other and keeping it private. But in my niece’s case, it’s not at all private. Many of her clients are single and are obviously doing it for themselves. Why? To celebrate their beauty or to convince themselves that they look like the image that pop culture pressures them to look like? Honestly, lovely lingerie is fine, but when I see thong shoved up someone’s crotch and breasts shoved so high by a bra that appears to made out cement, I have to wonder if this is a healthy image for women to be emulating. Again, privacy is one thing, but I can’t help but question why this type of photography has become so popular. Back in the day, we used to laugh at Playboy, how silly and gratuitous it was; now young women emulate it, and young men expect it. I see a questionable trend.

  23. I made a disc this week and mailed it (very carefully) to my husband where he is at a class for work in a different state. I did not download the pics on my computer but made a slide show on a disc with words pics and let him know it was on it’s way. I live on Maui and would love to go to a secluded place and have a reliable photographer do some pics – I’ve thought if doing it myself – like taking pics of me in his convertable – since I have a great camera but I’m terrified of being seen.

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